Guess who's back?
by Talespinner69
Summary: Someone who disappeared right after the Fourth Great Ninja War ended returns to his old home village two years after the fact to see that there's quite a lot for him to do in his quest for redemption. (Set in the timeline established in Harold Fisher: Legend of Konoha)
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.

Guess who's back?

Chapter one: Return to Konoha

It has been two years.

Two years since the fourth great ninja war, a war in which the five great lands united to face and take down a common enemy, had ended, thankfully in favor of the aforementioned five great lands. The efforts of one of those great lands, the Land of Fire, was particularly invaluable, especially due to the remarkable military might of its local ninja village, Konohagakure, coupled with a remarkable device, developed over a decade before hand (1), that has long since been made standard-issued in the arsenal of all Konoha shinobi that were ranked chunnin or higher.

Yes, it was thanks to the development of that device that Konoha suffered hardly any loss at all during the fourth great ninja war. (2) Sunagakure, one of Konoha's allies during the fourth great ninja war and a good friend of Konoha, is of similar luck, although they did indeed suffer more losses. (3) The other villages of the three great lands (Kumogakure, Iwagakure and Kirigakure), however, weren't as lucky as Konoha or Suna.

Prior to the fourth great ninja war, Kumogakure was enjoying a position where, out of the five great ninja villages that participated in the war, it was statistically the strongest overall. However, due to at least half of Kumo's overall military might falling in the fourth great ninja war, coupled with a hard hit that their economy took shortly after the war ended (a hit they have yet to recover from), Kumo lost its lofty position to Konoha.

In fact, the only reason why Kumo isn't dead last compared to the other villages is because both Iwagakure and Kirigakure lost so many of their respective shinobi during the war that they both barely have enough of a standing force to maintain the skeleton crew that's needed for village defense, not to mention the fact that their respective economies were already shaky to begin with. (4) Rumor has it that losing their lofty position has left Kumogakure so bitter that they are considering taking some rather…drastic steps to rectify what they view as a grievous error.

All this was on the mind of Tsunade, the fifth (and current) Hokage, leader of the village of Konohagakure, one rainy afternoon as she contemplated the war that took place two years pervious. As she meditated on the past, she held in her right hand a small egg-shaped device that, when you press a button on the one end, the device turns into a shield big enough to cover even a large Akimichi clan man, and durable enough to tank explosive blasts and deflect large wooden spikes thrown at high speeds.

The fifth Hokage sat the device, currently in its dormant state, down on her desk as the rain outside pattered against the windows of her office. Just thinking about how many Konoha shinobi that would have died over the past ten-plus years had the Pod Shield not been developed made Tsunade's heart heavy.

It also made Tsunade wish she could retire as Hokage already, damn it. She was considering stepping down and naming Kakashi Hatake as her successor, and had made said intentions somewhat vocal, but the famed Copy Ninja had gone on leave, deciding to finally take advantage of all of the vacation time he had accumulated. (5) With Kakashi a definite 'no', Tsunade was considering this one student of Kakashi's, the only one of three who had so far reached the rank of jonin. But it was still a bit too early for that student, so until then, Tsunade was stuck with-

"Lady Tsunade!" a familiar voice shrieked, snapping the Lady Fifth from her thoughts. Looking up to the doorway to her office, Tsunade saw her assistant Shizune standing right in the middle, a look of shock on her face.

"What is it, Shizune?" asked the Fifth Hokage, a look of curiosity on her face; Tsunade hadn't seen her assistant looking so rattled since before the fourth great ninja war ended.

"A young adult male was found lying on the ground unconscious just a few feet into the village from the front entry gate," Shizune began.

"Young adult male?" Tsunade repeated in a mildly alarmed tone, getting up from her chair, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Shizune confirmed, then added as she mildly shook her head, "You…you are not going to believe who it is."

With that cue, Tsunade followed her assistant out of the Hokage office building. As the two women ran to the village's front entry gate, Tsunade yelled as she raised her right forearm to try and block the rain from her face, "Ah hell! Why did I forget to bring an umbrella? This rain is-"

Tsunade stopped midsentence when, upon her and Shizune's arrival to the scene, the Lady Fifth saw at least two Konoha medic shinobi kneeling down to examine the unconscious young man/prepare him for transport to Konoha General. "Shizune was right," Tsunade thought when she recognized who the unconscious young man was, "I don't believe it."

Being loaded onto a stretcher for transport to Konoha General, as rain pattered against his unconscious form, was Sasuke Uchiha.

* * *

Later that afternoon, as the rain continued to come down on Konoha, Sasuke Uchiha started coming to in his hospital bed at Konoha General. "…Just very exhausted," Sasuke heard a woman's voice say as he slowly came to, "But if he really was laying on the ground outside in the rain for as long as the medics that arrived on scene are guessing, then he might have caught a cold. We should examine him for cold symptoms, just to be safe."

"Wait a minute," Sasuke heard another woman's voice say to the first; this voice sounded like it belonged to a woman that was younger than the first who he heard talking, "He was found with a bag. What happened to that bag? Not to mention his sword, weapon pouches and other such equipment."

"As he is technically a rouge ninja, all of that kind of gear that he had on hand was confiscated the moment he was brought in," the first voice explained, "However, the bag that you mentioned carried a book with details on a number of other rouge ninja. Using that information, I've sent several teams of Konoha shinobi out to check if the information is accurate, and I've already received word that two of the rouge ninja were captured, with a third having been killed."

"You think he gathered that information in an attempt to use it as a bargaining chip to try and get some leniency?" the second voice asked.

"Most likely," the first voice replied as Sasuke, now fully awake, sat up in his hospital bed; he saw the door to his hospital room cracked open slightly, just enough for him to hear the conversation between the two women standing outside.

"He's already earned some leniency for his efforts in assisting the allied shinobi force during the fourth great ninja war," the first woman's voice went on, "Additionally, Kiri and Iwa are in no position to try and persecute him, not to mention Kumo posing a greater and more immediate threat. I figure that, assuming that Sasuke IS trying to clean up his act, we can just have him do some community service or whatever, and he'll be good to go."

Hearing this lightened the feeling in Sasuke's heart; to be truthful, Sasuke was intending on starting a sort of revolution, but with so many able-bodied shinobi surrounding him by the time the war was ended (6), it would have been tantamount to suicide to announce such intentions. As a result, Sasuke decided to change his plan. Thus, he spent the two years after the fourth great ninja war ended gathering intel on as many rouge ninja as he could, and having finished that task, he came to Konoha, intending to use the fruits of his labors as the second voice suggested; as a bargaining chip for leniency. Thankfully for Sasuke, Kumo was apparently making enough of a stink that he was apparently going to get some sort of community service.

At that moment, a familiar face walked into Sasuke's hospital room, surprising the Uchiha. It was Sakura Haruno, one of his old teammates. He was vaguely aware that Sakura had studied under Tsunade, a famed medic expert, but never did Sasuke expect Sakura to be doing hospital work. Sakura didn't see right away that Sasuke was up, as she was holding a clipboard up and was looking at it. "Okay then," Sakura said as she came in; it was then that Sasuke realized that Sakura was the second voice he heard talking outside of his hospital room.

"Other than potentially catching a cold from laying on the ground outside while it was raining, the only thing wrong with him is-" Sakura said, but stopped midsentence when, lowering her clipboard, she saw that Sasuke was awake, sitting up in bed, and looking at her. "-Oh, you're awake," Sakura remarked, mildly flustered.

Looking down at himself, Sasuke saw that he was wearing a standard hospital gown. "…Please tell me that no one made some inappropriate crack as I was changed into this hospital gown," were the first words Sasuke said since arriving in his old home village.

Smiling somewhat at the humor in Sasuke's remark, Sakura said, "Shizune was the one who changed your clothes, and she didn't say a thing. Other than complaining that your clothes being soaked made them somewhat heavy."

"Well that's reasonable, I suppose," Sasuke replied, "I will be getting them back eventually, right? I was wearing my favorite pair of pants."

"They'll have to go through the laundry first," Sakura pointed out.

Nodding, Sasuke said, "Yeah, that's fair."

"So…Sasuke," Sakura began slowly and in a somewhat unsure tone. Stepping forward a few steps, Sakura asked, "Why did you disappear after the fourth great ninja war ended?"

"I was looking for redemption," Sasuke answered right away.

"Redemption?" the pink-haired medic repeated in a confused tone.

Nodding in the affirmative, Sasuke continued, "Fighting alongside you and the others from Konoha during the war, after I had given you all so much hell…it made me realize that I had royally screwed up my life. And for what? Revenge? A life on the lam with most of the ninja world hot on my tail, wanting to put said tail to the burning stake?"

Shaking his head, Sasuke said, "Yeah, that kind of life doesn't sound like sunshine and lollipops, if you ask me."

"A book was found in the bag you had on hand when you were found lying on the ground just a few feet into the village from the front entry gate," Sakura brought up, "It had information on other rouge ninjas."

"Yeah, that's what I spent the last two years doing," the young Uchiha man said, "I was hoping that if I helped clean up the ninja world, that I would be given life in prison rather than death via burned at the stake."

"Executions in Konoha are performed via lethal injection," Sakura pointed out, "The only village to have ever executed people via burning the at the stake was Iwa. And that only happened once before the First Tsuchikage outlawed that method because he thought that it too inhumane."

Chuckling to himself, Sasuke said, "Forgive me, Sakura. But as you know or can most likely guess, ninjas of my clan have a thing for fire."

Smiling, Sakura replied, "Naturally."

"So anywho, I started coming to when I heard you talking to some other woman outside," Sasuke began, "I believe one of you mentioned some sort of community service, or something?"

"Oh, you heard that?" Sakura said as she shifted around a bit, "Yeah, I was talking outside with Lady Tsunade. With what you did during the fourth great ninja war, coupled with the info you brought in having helped captured or killed other rouge ninja, and with anyone who can do anything more concerned about what Kumo's up to more than anything else, the fact that Lady Tsunade's plans to give you a sort of community service sentence means you've pretty much gotten off scot free."

"Wow," Sasuke remarked, "I dodged a kunai right there, didn't I?" (7)

Nodding in agreement, Sakura said, "You know, I bet that a lot of our old classmates will be interested in hearing that you're back."

"Yeah," Sasuke said in a knowing tone, "I bet they will."

"…I'm also willing to bet that at least some of them will get a kick out of the fact that you're technically the only one of our graduating group who's still a genin," Sakura added in an unsure 'ehh' kind of tone.

"…Figures," Sasuke replied casually, "Well, hopefully I can catch up to everyone if I'm allowed to clean up my act. How is everyone, by the way?"

"You remember Sai?" Sakura began, and after Sasuke nodded in the affirmative, Sakura continued, "Sai and Ino are currently dating."

"Really," Sasuke remarked in a mildly surprised tone. He expected Ino (and Sakura to a lesser degree) to hold out for him forever, given their respective past behavior. Sasuke didn't mind in the least that Ino has moved on from him (again, past behavior), but it still surprises him.

"How are Shikamaru and Choji, then?" Sasuke asked, inquiring about Ino's teammates.

"Shikamaru's dating the Kazekage's older sister," Sakura explained, "And Choji's dating Karui."

"Who?" Sasuke asked, having no clue about who Sakura was talking about.

"Karui's a girl from Kumogakure," Sakura explained, her face showing an expression that was equal parts concerned and unsure.

"Kumogakure?" Sasuke repeated, "Didn't you say that a lot of folks have a beef with Kumo?"

Nodding, Sakura replied, "Yeah, and the fact that most of Konoha has given the poor girl total hell just because she's from Kumo has been causing her no small amount of distress. Not to mention causing Choji no small amount of anger."

"I can see why both of those would be valid reasons," Sasuke remarked.

Nodding again, Sakura continued, "Even our classmates, plus Neji, Tenten and Rock Lee, have each given Choji at least _some_ grief over him dating Karui."

A look of surprise mixed with shock on his face, Sasuke said, "Really?!"

"The only exception is Shikamaru," Sakura clarified, "Hinata was an exception as well, but only at first."

"What changed?" Sasuke asked, an eyebrow arched in curiosity.

"There was this incident a few weeks back," Sakura explained, "I don't really feel comfortable talking about what happened in detail, but the incident ended with Hinata being rushed to the hospital and everyone's opinion about Kumo and Kumo ninja only being strengthened." (8)

"…This does not sound like our classmates," Sasuke remarked in a quiet tone that clearly conveyed his shock.

"Given how Kumogakure has been acting since the fourth great ninja war ended, you can understand why our classmates have acted in such a manner," Sakura pointed out.

Nodding in agreement with Sakura, Sasuke said, "Yeah, I figured that wait a minute, what about Choji's folks? What do they think about Choji dating a girl from Kumo?"

"The first thing Mr. Akimichi did upon meeting Karui was challenge her to an eating contest," Sakura answered with a slight smile on her face, "And the first thing Mrs. Akimichi did upon meeting Karui was ask when she can expect grandchildren out of her."

"So…they approve?" Sasuke asked.

"Choji's parents are some of the nicest people in Konoha," Sakura remarked, "It doesn't surprise me that they're so accepting of Karui, even with Kumo making the news the way that they've been doing so every evening or two."

Chuckling, Sasuke said, "They sound like the kind of parents that anyone would be happy to have."

"Yeah," Sakura agreed with a nod, "Choji's folks are really-"

"Oh, you have got to be kidding!" Tsunade's voice could be heard shouting. With both Uchiha and Haruno wearing confused expressions due to the outburst, they watched at Tsunade walked into the hospital room, talking on a wireless phone. (9) "You tell that bastard that what he's doing has gone way too far!" Tsunade shouted into her phone, "You tell him that, and you get Might Gai's students out of there!" With that, Tsunade angrily flipped her wireless phone closed and shoved it into a front pocket.

Looking over, she saw that Sakura and Sasuke had observed her. "…Oh, hello," Tsunade greeted Sakura and Sasuke as if she was totally not embarrassed at all that someone had seen her yell into her phone like that.

"Lady Tsunade, what was that all about?" Sakura asked.

Sighing, Tsunade said, "You know about that gambler's den that's opened up in Konoha's downtown?"

"Hey, I thought that it was taken down already," Sakura replied, "You mean to tell me it's still up?"

Nodding her head in the affirmative, Tsunade said, "Not only is the gambler's den still in operation, but the den's boss took Neji, Tenten and Rock Lee hostage when they were sent to shut the place down."

"Wait a minute," Sasuke interrupted, "They were taken hostage?!"

After Tsunade replied in the affirmative, Sasuke continued, "I thought that those three were ninja! Even if all three of them were genin fresh from the academy, they still should have easily been able to bust up a gambler's den! How in the hell did they get captured?! Is the gambler's den run by other ninjas?!"

"No, not one who is on the den's payroll is a ninja," Tsunade replied, "The fact that what amounts to untrained citizens having been able to capture two chunnin and a jonin is a great embarrassment on Konoha's part. A good thing this hasn't gone public yet."

Getting up from his hospital bed, Sasuke said, "You know what, screw this. Lady Tsunade, I am officially reporting for duty."

"Excuse me?" asked the Fifth Hokage, mildly bewildered.

"He overheard your plans to give him community service," Sakura explained to her master.

To Tsunade, Sasuke said, "After I get some proper clothes to wear, I request that my gear be returned and your permission to go in and rescue Neji, Rock Lee and Tenten."

After spending a few brief moments contemplating things, Tsunade said, "In addition to your community service, you've been put on probation which, among other things, means you cannot legally carry weapons in Konoha until you've proven yourself dedicated to the village. If you can rescue Neji and his team AND bust up the gambler's den, I can use that as an excuse to return your sword and weapons pouches."

"Sounds fair," Sasuke replied with a nod of understanding.

"As for proper clothing, Shizune told me that an outfit has been prepared for you to use until your old clothes have gone through the laundry," Tsunade added, "Your shinobi sandals should have dried off by now, so they're good to go."

"Well alright," Sasuke replied. Taking the clipboard from Sakura, Tsunade ripped off a corner of the top sheet of paper on the clipboard, flipped that corner over, and wrote on it with a pen.

Handing the paper corner to Sasuke, Tsunade said, "Here's the location of the gambler's den. Try not to get yourself or any of your fellow shinobi killed, alright?" Having received his orders, Sasuke left to find Shizune about that outfit before he took off for the gambler's den.

* * *

Standing outside a somewhat rundown-looking two story building, Sasuke looked up at it; the Uchiha was wearing a black casual dress shirt and a pair of (somewhat loose-fitting) pants that was held up with a belt. Sasuke's pair of shinobi sandals completed the outfit. Sasuke figured that he can use his Sharingan to trap all of the gambler's den's affiliates in a genjitsu before any of them could ready a weapon, then just stroll over to where Neji and his teammates were being held, free them, then contact Tsunade and tell her that the place had been secured and that additional shinobi are needed to collect the den members and bring them in for questioning. Yeah, that sounded like a good idea.

Walking up to the front door of the building, Sasuke tapped door with his knuckles. A small rectangle opened somewhere on the door's upper half, allowing two eyes to peer out and see Sasuke. "Who the hell are you?" said the voice that owned those eyes.

"The pizza man," Sasuke replied sarcastically as his Sharingan activated without drawing the man's attention, "Who do you think?"

"Oh, you think you're a comedian, don't you?" said the voice with the eyes, "Well, Boss Harjo doesn't have any liking for please come right on in." The doorman, enthralled by the power of Sasuke's Sharingan, opened the door to let Sasuke in.

As soon as he was in, Sasuke smacked the doorman with the back of his right fist with enough force to knock the poor man out instantly. A few other den members, three at most, witnessed this, but before any of them could react, Sasuke did to them what he did to the doorman. After they were all put under the influence of Sasuke's eyes, another den member shouted, "Someone has busted into the den!"

"Ah crap," Sasuke cursed to himself as he salvaged a long dagger from the doorman, anticipating a fight.

* * *

Up on the second floor, a balding idle-aged man with a slight paunch sat at an ornate wooden desk; in the corner of the room was a jail cell in which Neji, Rock Lee and Tenten were being held, their hands handcuffed behind their backs. "…Say it," Rock Lee said as he turned to face Neji.

"No," replied the Hyuga prodigy in an annoyed tone.

"Come on Neji, say it," Rock Lee pressed.

"Shut up, dude," Neji snapped.

"Not until you say it," Rock Lee continued.

Sighing in an exasperated tone, Neji said, "Fine, Rock Lee. You were right."

"Yes!" Rock Lee said, pumping a fist in triumph.

"Will you give it a rest?" Neji asked, his fuse clearly growing short.

"Your bowl-cut friend has got a point," the balding man at the desk said to Neji, "He was right about the mistake you made."

"Shut up, Harjo," Tenten snapped, "As soon as the Hokage hears about this, a rescue team will be sent in to bust up your den and rescue me and my teammates!"

"Oh, is that so?" Harjo replied with a smirk as he got up from his desk. Walking over to the jail cell that held Gai's students, Harjo said to Tenten, "Well tough luck, missy. There's no way your boss will risk coming in and-"

Three quick knocks on his office door cut Harjo off, making him turn to face the door. "Who is it?" Harjo shouted.

"Pizza delivery," replied a voice on the other side of the door; Neji, Rock Lee and Tenten all felt that they recognized the voice.

"Pizza delivery?" Harjo repeated in a confused and slightly angry tone as he walked up to the door. Opening it, Harjo said, "Why the hell would I order a pizza delivered to the de-" Harjo was cut off when a punch to the face knocked him out cold, making him form tumble to the floor.

Stepping into the office, Sasuke said as he looked down at Harjo's unconscious form, "That will be 750 ryo."

"Sasuke!" Neji and his teammates all exclaimed in unison.

As Sasuke looked around for the keys to the jail cell, Tenten asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Rescuing you three," replied the young Uchiha man, "What does it look like to you?"

"I think Tenten meant what are you doing back in Konoha after dropping off of the map for two years," Neji clarified, "By the way, if you're looking for the keys to this jail cell, try checking Harjo's pants pockets." Doing as Neji said, Sasuke found a large metal ring; attached to the metal ring was a keyring attached to a key the size of an average house key and a keyring attached to a very small key.

After Sasuke unlocked the jail cell and proceeded to undo Neji's handcuffs first, Tenten said, "No, really. Why are you back in Konoha?"

"I'm looking to redeem myself and hopefully make it so that no one wants to put me to the burning stake," Sasuke replied.

"Konoha's method of choice for executions is lethal injection," Rock Lee pointed out as he busted the chain on his handcuffs to hold up his right index finger; at the sight of what Rock Lee had just done, Sasuke and the others all stared at him with wide-eyed shock.

"…What's up?" Rock Lee asked in a mildly confused tone as everyone was looking at him.

"If you could break the chain on your handcuffs," Sasuke said as he unlocked Tenten's handcuffs, "Then why didn't you do so right away?"

Looking at the broken cuffs still locked onto his wrists, Rock Lee said, "Oh, I guess that I was so focused on getting Neji to admit that I was right about his slip-up that I sort of forgot I could do this."

"YOU IDIOT!" Tenten exclaimed as she pulled a giant paper fan out of nowhere and smacked Rock Lee in the back of the head.

As Sasuke and Neji watched Tenten smack Rock Lee upside and around his head with the fan, Neji turned to Sasuke and said, "I'm glad you're back in Konoha."

* * *

Later that afternoon over at the Hokage office building, Sasuke and Sakura were standing in front of Tsunade's desk, at which the woman herself sat. "That's your report, then," the Fifth Hokage said to Sasuke.

"Yes, Lady Tsunade," Sasuke replied with a single nod.

"You beat up half of the gambler's den members," Tsunade said.

"Indeed," Sasuke answered.

"Put the other half under genjitsu to render them unable to act," Tsunade continued.

"Affirmative," Sasuke confirmed.

"Then you knocked Boss Harjo out cold with a single punch to his face," Tsunade finished, "Before you and Neji watched Tenten beat Rock Lee with a giant paper fan for being dumb."

"That is exactly how the mission went," Sasuke stated.

Leaning back in her chair, Tsunade said, "Well, with Gai's students rescued and the gambler's den members all arrested, I'd say your community service to Konoha is off to a nice start. You can ask Shizune for your sword and weapons pouches back now; she's been put in charge of handling your belongings until they can be returned to you."

"Thank you," Sasuke replied with a respectful nod.

"Also," Tsunade said, "After the instant I heard about your success, I proceeded to fill out the appropriate paperwork. You are now, once again, an official Konoha shinobi at the chunnin rank. You're still on probation, though."

"Thank you very wait a minute, chunnin?" Sasuke said, "I was only a genin when I left Konoha."

With a knowing smirk, Tsunade said, "Really? Oh well, you're long overdue for a promotion anyway. And you've certainly proven you have what it takes to hold that rank."

"Wow, Sasuke!" Sakura remarked as she turned to face the Uchiha, "You're a chunnin now! That means you're at the same rank as our classmates, Rock Lee, Tenten and me!"

"Let's see if he can catch up to Neji and Naruto, then," Tsunade replied, "They're both Jonin, and they've set the bar for the rest of you quite high."

"Wait a minute, Naruto's a Jonin?" Sasuke repeated, looking mildly confused.

Nodding, Tsunade answered, "Like I said. You still have a bit of catching up to do."

After Tsunade dismissed them, Sasuke and Sakura left the Hokage office building. As they walked down the sidewalk, Sasuke said, "So. That knuckleheaded friend of ours managed to surpass not just the two of us, but everyone else in our graduating class. I'm being proven more and more wrong about Naruto as time goes by, aren't I?"

"A lot of us are being proven wrong about a lot of things," Sakura remarked, a mild but noticeable amount of sadness in her tone. Sasuke was able to pick up on that mild amount, however, and he was going to ask what was wrong. But Neji, Rock Lee and Tenten came running up to Sasuke and Sakura, cutting off the young Uchiha man before he could even speak a single word.

"Hey Sasuke! How did your talk with Lady Tsunade go?" Neji asked as he and the others caught up to Sasuke and Sakura.

"I've been reinstated as an official Konoha shinobi," Sasuke answered, "Also, I'm a chunnin now, apparently."

"You know," Tenten began, "If Gai sensei were here, he'd probably brag about me, Neji and Rock Lee all getting past the rank of genin before everyone on your team."

Smiling while his eyes were closed, Sasuke said, "Yeah, that does sound like Gai. He is not one to let his rivalry with Kakashi die out, is he?"

"No, he is not," Rock Lee confirmed with a nod.

"So anywho, what are you going to do now?" Neji said to Sasuke.

"Whatever community service Lady Tsunade gives me," Sasuke replied honestly, "Or whatever job she labels as community service and dumps onto my lap."

"That second one sounds far more likely, knowing Lady Tsunade" Neji remarked, "Well then, if you ever need it, I'd be willing to lend you a hand. You did rescue me from being held hostage, after all." Both Rock Lee and Tenten nodded in agreement while similarly offering their assistance to Sasuke in the future.

"Thanks, you guys," Sasuke remarked, surprised that Gai's students would already be willing to help him out.

To Sakura, Rock Lee asked, "Hey Sakura-chan, aren't you going to offer to help Sasuke if he would ever need it?"

"I would certainly like to do so," Sakura admitted, "But my work at Konoha General, coupled with assisting Lady Tsunade, keeps me busy quite a lot. I don't think I'll have the time to help Sasuke out as freely as you, Neji and Tenten can."

"Well that's understandable," Sasuke remarked, "Hokages need their assistants, after all. Would you at the very least like to join me, Neji and the others for a celebratory dinner? My treat."

Smiling as a small tear ran down the right side of her face, Sakura replied, "Yes. I know this great taco place that recently opened up. Choji swears by it."

"Yeah, that sounds like him," Tenten remarked as she and the others all proceeded to make their way to the taco place.

As they walked, Rock Lee asked, "Hey Sasuke, quick question. You said that dinner at the taco place was your treat, right? How are you going to pay for it?"

"…Ah crud!" Sasuke exclaimed, smacking himself in the forehead

END, GUESS WHO'S BACK CHAPTER ONE

Author's Notes:

(1) Or, developed in an alternate time's future and sub-sequentially brought back in time by two morons and a talking dog.

(2) A grand total of TWO Konoha shinobi died in the FGNW. It was a freak accident at the intelligence division's base that involved a stepladder and a storage closet overpacked with boxes.

(3) Suna lost a total of seven shinobi during the FGNW; five from the incident that claimed the two Konoha shinobi, one from battle, and a kunoichi that was nerdy but in a cute way suffered a fatal asthma attack early during the war's second day.

(4) The five great ninja villages as they're currently ranked from overall strongest to overall weakest: Konoha, Suna, Kumo, Kiri, Iwa.

(5) A nice way of saying that he ran away from doing work.

(6) The god tree that grew during the FGNW never grew in this timeline, which means no Infinite Tsukuyomi.

(7) Setting equivalent of 'dodging a bullet'.

(8) And past interactions between Kumo ninja and the Hyuga clan weren't exactly helping.

(9) Technology is developing somewhat quicker in this setting. That still hasn't stopped Tsunade from continuing to use a (relatively) primitive cell phone.

In the manga/anime series proper, Sasuke pretty much got off scot free. I'm more or less indifferent to this, although a few people I know have expressed disdain for it. After I gave it a bit of thought, it _would_ have been nice if there was an arc in the manga/anime where Sasuke was shown at least trying to clean up his act/make up for what he did, preferably while working alongside his old friends/some of the people that Sasuke had wronged. But still, that last episode of the anime was very satisfying to watch.

Shine on, you crazy Uchiha.

EDIT 5-19-17: Sorry for any confusion if anyone noticed that I took down most of the chapters for this story. Don't worry, I figured everything out.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.

Guess who's back?

Chapter two: The hawk and the deer

Sasuke Uchiha could not believe how lucky he was as he got up one morning in the village of Konohagakure. Looking around the bedroom of the apartment that was provided to him, Sasuke began thinking about the events that led him to where he was currently at. He recalled how he was currently on a community service sentence issued by Lady Tsunade, the fifth (and current) Hokage. He recalled how, after he rescued three of his old friends from being held hostage, that he was made an official Konoha shinobi once again, albeit still one on probation.

And Sasuke was promoted from his old rank of genin to his current rank of chunnin. He wasn't counting on that.

After grabbing a quick breakfast of plain white rice (1), Sasuke got dressed and prepared to report to Lady Tsunade for whatever work he had on his plate today. As he made his way to the Hokage office building, Sasuke was met up by the students of Might Gai; Rock Lee, Neji and Tenten. These were the old friends that Sasuke had rescued from being held hostage. "Hey guys, what's up?" Sasuke asked casually.

"We just wanted to apologize for last night," Tenten began on behalf of her group.

Arching an eyebrow in confusion, Sasuke asked, "Apologize for what?"

"We should have known that, having just returned to Konoha after two years, that you'd be understandably low on money," Rock Lee explained, "And yet you insisted on paying for everyone's dinner last night at the taco place." (2)

"It was my idea," Sasuke replied kindly, "And I did kind of bring it upon myself."

"Tenten and Rock Lee were considering petitioning Lady Tsunade to let you earn some sort of an allowance during your community service," Neji brought up, "However, being paid kind for that work kind of goes against the idea of community service."

"Well how else will Sasuke be able to pay for things?" Rock Lee asked his Hyuga friend, "Like food. And bills. And tacos!"

"I'm pretty sure that Konoha government is covering all of that," Neji explained.

Nodding in agreement with Neji, Sasuke replied, "Yeah, Lady Tsunade set me up with a place to live for the time being. Utilities are covered as part of the package."

"Well at least you aren't sleeping on the streets," Tenten remarked with a sigh of relief.

"So anyway Sasuke, where are you heading?" Neji asked.

"I'm on my way to report to Lady Tsunade to see what work she has for me today," Sasuke replied.

"Let us tag along," Tenten half asked-half commanded, "Rock Lee and I need to convince Lady Tsunade to let you earn some sort of a salary."

"That goes against the idea of community service, Tenten," Neji pointed out again as he and his teammates accompanied the reformed Uchiha to the Hokage office building.

* * *

At the Hokage office building, Sasuke and Team Gai stood before Lady Tsunade's desk, at which the woman herself sat. Looking at Gai's students, Tsunade said, "Both sides raise valid points. Neji's side is valid because yes, work done as part of community service generally isn't paid. Tenten and Rock Lee's side is valid because Sasuke will otherwise not have the money to pay for certain necessities not covered by him being an agent-slash-ward of Konoha. I'll look into setting up some sort of allowance system for Sasuke."

"Ha! In your face, Neji!" Rock Lee exclaimed as he pointed dramatically at his teammate.

"He wasn't arguing for me not getting paid, he was arguing for his point about community service work usually not being paid work," Sasuke pointed out to the younger Green Beast. Turing to face Tsunade, Sasuke continued, "Speaking of which. Lady Tsunade, what work do you have for me today?"

"I'm sending you to the Nara clan compound to investigate a series of killings that have happened over there as of late," Tsunade explained.

"That sounds very WAIT, WHAT?!" Sasuke said, changing his tone midsentence as what Tsunade had just said made him do something of a double take.

"You'll be given the details when you get there," Tsunade explained, "By the way, I was informed that out of gratitude for being saved from the gambler's den, Gai's students have offered to help you if you need it. Is this true?"

"It is, Lady Tsunade," Neji asked, "Why, is Sasuke supposed to work alone?"

"Actually, this might help Sasuke out in the long run," Tsunade replied. To the young Uchiha, Tsunade added, "In fact, successfully completing this job may earn you the support of another old friend of yours."

"I get the feeling that I'll eventually need all the help I can get my hands on," Sasuke remarked as he received a dossier from Tsunade about the job he was just given. Turning to face Gai's students, Sasuke asked, "Well guys, you ready?"

"Anything to relieve the tedium I've been feeling due to the lack of missions as of late," Tenten remarked.

"You can thank Kumo for that one," Tsunade said semi-ominously as Sasuke and his team left.

* * *

As Sasuke and the others approached the Nara clan compound, Sasuke asked, "Hey Neji, Rock Lee, Tenten, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't Shikamaru belong to the Nara clan?"

"He does indeed belong to the Nara clan," Neji replied with a nod in the affirmative.

Looking up at the clouds overhead as he and the others continued their trek, Sasuke remarked, "I heard a rumor that Shikamaru's far smarter than he lets on."

"He's as smart as Sakura-chan is beautiful," Rock Lee said.

"He's as smart as Choji is fat," Neji agreed.

"He's as smart as Naruto is angry," Tenten remarked.

"Well I'm glad to see that you all wait a minute," Sasuke replied, "Tenten, what did you say?"

"Oh, nothing," Tenten quickly dismissed, "Nothing at all, Sa-"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU IDIOT?!" A shrill woman's voice could be heard exclaiming over at the Nara clan compound, cutting Tenten off and grabbing the group's attention.

"WHAT DID I DO NOW, WOMAN?!" a man's voice could be heard shouting, at equal volume and anger as the woman's voice.

"WHY DO YOU CONSISTANTLY GIVE OUR SON'S GIRLFRIEND CRAP?!" the woman's voice yelled, "KONOHA IS ALLIED WITH SUNA, REMEMBER?!"

"JUST BECAUSE WE'RE ALLIES DOESN'T GIVE OUR BOY THE EXCUSE TO BED WITH A SUNA GIRL!" the man's voice yelled back, "I DON'T SEE WHY YOU'RE ALL IN FAVOR FOR OUR SON SEEING SOMEONE FROM OUTSIDE KONOHA!"

"Ah crud, there they go again," Tenten remarked ruefully.

"…What's with the shouting match?" Sasuke asked, "Also, I think my ears want to commit seppuku."

"Shikamaru's parents have been constantly at odds with each other ever since Shikamaru started dating Temari," Rock Lee explained, "Mr. Nara doesn't like it because he can't stand the idea of someone from Konoha dating someone from outside our lands."

"Mrs. Nara, on the other hand, is in favor for Temari going out with Shikamaru," Neji went on, "For the same reasons Mrs. Akimichi is in favor of Choji dating that detestable girl from Kumo."

"I heard that, Neji!" a familiar voice shouted; turning the corner from the right-side view was Shikamaru, looking more or less unchanged from the last time Sasuke talked to him. "For the love of all that is holy, will you and everyone else quit giving Choji a hard time for-" Shikamaru said, but stopped midsentence when he spotted Sasuke. "…So, the rumors are true," Shikamaru remarked, "You've returned to Konoha, Sasuke."

"Hello, Shikamaru," Sasuke greeted, "How have you been doing?"

"For the last two weeks, if it's not my dad telling me to quit dating Temari, it's my mom asking Temari when she can expect any grandchildren out of her," Shikamaru replied. Shaking his head, Shikamaru said, "My folks have very different priorities when it comes to what women I date."

"Well…at least one parent approves of your girlfriend," Sasuke offered in a mildly unsure tone.

"I really wish that both of them would approve, like how Choji's folks approve of Karui," Shikamaru lamented.

Nodding in agreement, Sasuke said, "From what I've heard, this Karui girl is actually pretty nice, not to mention that she doesn't have the same tone as her home village as a whole."

Smiling, Shikamaru said, "Finally, someone agrees with me. So anywho, what brings you guys over here?"

"As part of his community service, Sasuke carries out various jobs at Lady Tsunade's direction," Neji explained, "He's currently looking into the killings that have happened here on your clan's compound. My teammates and I are assisting him."

"…It'll take a few minutes for their arguing to die down, but we should discuss this with my parents," Shikamaru replied as he gestured for Sasuke and company to follow him.

* * *

About a minute or so later, Sasuke and company were inside of the living room of Shikamaru's family; The Naras, with Shikaku sitting in the center (his wife Yoshino on his right and their son Shikamaru on Shikaku's left), were seated directly across from Sasuke's group so that both groups faced each other. "So, you're filling the role of Lady Tsunade's errand boy to try and clean up your act," Shikaku remarked to the young Uchiha.

"That's…one way to put it," Sasuke replied.

"And you're here to investigate the recent killings that have occurred at the Nara clan compound," Shikaku went on.

"That's correct," Sasuke answered with a nod.

"Umm, forgive me if this is something of a sensitive subject, but how many of your clan's shinobi have been killed so far?" Rock Lee asked.

"None whatsoever," Yoshino answered, a worried look on her face.

"None?" Tenten repeated in a confused tone, "But Lady Tsunade said that-"

"-There were killings happening on Nara clan property," Shikamaru cut Tenten off, "And she's right. Seventeen of our clan's deer have been found killed since a few weeks before I started going out with-"

"-That hussy from the sand," Shikaku finished.

"-The Kazekage's older sister, yes," Shikamaru added.

"Wait, she's related to the Kazekage?!" Shikaku exclaimed in surprise, looking mildly worried.

"I think we're getting off subject here," Sasuke cut in, getting all eyes focused on him. From that point, Sasuke said, "Your clan's deer are the ones that are being found killed?"

Nodding in the affirmative, Yoshino said, "As the antlers from the deer are used in making medicine, these constant killings are putting the Nara clan in a tight spot."

"So just gather a bunch of ninja to hunt down the wild animals that are killing your deer," Tenten suggested, "I'm sure the Akimichi clan will be more than glad to-"

"It's ninja that have been killing our deer," Shikamaru cut in, "There's no way a wild animal can hold blades like kunai and katanas, or throw shuriken."

"Why would these ninjas kill your deer?" Sasuke asked.

"Judging by the fact that every dead deer we've found thus far was found to have large hunks of flesh cut off, we're guessing that the ninja who killed them did it for food," said Shikaku.

"Your deer are being killed for food?" Neji asked, "Who would do that?"

"Well it certainly isn't the Akimichi," Shikamaru stated, "They've never been lacking for food. Besides, they're close friends of our clan, and they're the most frequent visitors to the shops where our clan's ninjas make the deer antler medicine."

"They would kind of be stabbing themselves in the foot with a kunai if they were the ones behind these killings," Sasuke agreed. (3)

"Also, all Akimichi clan members don't like the taste of venison," Yoshino offered, "I overheard Choza say that when he was talking to Shikaku when we started seeing the signs that these killings were connected to each other."

"So, a number of your clan's deer have been found killed," Sasuke said, "And each one was found to be missing large hunks of flesh."

"Which, judging by appearances, were carved off by a katana," Shikaku added, "So this obviously isn't the work of a wild animal."

"It can't be the Akimichi clan, and I'm going to guess that the Yamanaka clan is eliminated as a suspect for similar reasons," Neji said.

Nodding, Shikaku said, "That's a valid point, young man."

"We're not even sure if a specific clan is behind these killings," Yoshino remarked, "So we don't even know where to-"

"Two more deer have been found killed!" a random male Nara clan ninja shouted as he came running into the room.

"What?!" Shikamaru and his dad both exclaimed in unison as they turned to face the unexpected visitor.

"Now's the perfect chance to get a good look at a crime scene," Rock Lee said when he turned to face Sasuke and the others, "We might find some clues to the identity of the perpetrators."

"Right," Sasuke replied with a nod as he, Tenten and Neji got up to follow Rock Lee and the Naras out to where the most recently slain deer were found killed.

* * *

When Sasuke and the others arrived at the scene of the crime in the woods on Nara clan property, they didn't see any deer corpses lying on the ground. "The slain deer have already been transported to a Nara clan-owned warehouse where we treat our deer's injuries and illnesses," said a Nara clan kunoichi when she was asked about this, "It's the same place where we handle the remains of dead deer…which has sadly been the warehouse's most frequent use as of late."

"DAMN IT!" Yoshino exclaimed angrily as she pounded a nearby tree with her left fist, "THAT MAKES NINETEEN OF OUR CLAN'S DEER!" Looking around, Sasuke was trying to find signs of the ninja who had killed the deer while he was trying to ignore the smell coming from the large red puddles on the ground.

"I don't suppose anyone saw the ninja who killed the deer, did they?" Sasuke asked.

"One of our clan's men saw three ninja fleeing with meat harvested from the two deer that were just killed," said the Nara clan kunoichi that was on scene, "He's one of our ninja that's transporting the deer remains to our clan's warehouse. He said before leaving that he's certain that all three of the ninja are kunoichi."

"Female ninjas are behind all of the killings?" Tenten asked, looking surprised.

"Can we talk to him?" Sasuke asked, "We need more information about the suspects than just 'all three ninja are kunoichi'."

Nodding in agreement, the Nara kunoichi proceeded to escort Sasuke and company to the Nara clan-owned warehouse. When they got there, they found the male Nara ninja in question.

"They all wore masks that covered the lower halves of their faces, so all I saw were their eyes," the male Nara ninja said when interviewed by Sasuke, "But they clearly had the upper chest area of women. Also, all three were rather slim. Not slim enough to warrant immediate alarm, but you could see why they'd kill our clan's deer for meat."

"Did you see their headbands?" Sasuke asked.

"All three were Konoha headbands," the male Nara ninja confirmed, "So ninja from our own village have been causing our clan this hell."

"How tall were they?" Neji asked. "Around the average height among you and your friends here," the male Nara ninja said as he gestured to Neji, Sasuke, Rock Lee and Tenten.

"So, they are most likely in their late teens to very early adulthood," Neji replied.

"Three Konoha ninjas, all of which are kunoichi," Sasuke said, "Most likely young adults, and they're most likely killing the Nara clan deer for food, if their appearances are anything to go by."

Shaking her head, Tenten said, "Well I have no clue who could be behind the killings."

"ARUGH!" Rock Lee exclaimed in frustration as he furiously scratched the sides of his head, "I can't think of any way to find out who's responsible besides doing a door-to-door search!"

"And if the people behind the killings catch wind of that, they'll cover their tracks unless we're lucky enough to hit the culprits place first," Neji pointed out.

"Exactly!" Rock Lee remarked.

"…We should report what we've learned so far to Lady Tsunade," Sasuke suggested, "See what she has to-"

"We got some culprits surrounded in our clan's woods!" a female Nara clan member shouted as she ran into the warehouse, cutting Sasuke off.

"What?!" Sasuke and his friends all exclaimed, turning to face the Nara kunoichi.

"There is three Konoha kunoichi," the Nara kunoichi explained as she panted in exhaustion, "Four of our clan's men found the kunoichi trying to flee Nara clan territory, with one of the kunoichi carrying a slain deer slung over her right shoulder."

"DO I COUNT TWENTY?!" Shikaru exclaimed angrily.

"Can you take my friends and I over to where the kunoichi are being confronted?" Sasuke asked the Nara kunoichi.

Nodding in the affirmative, the Nara kunoichi replied, "Right this way."

"Alright," Tenten said as she pounded a fist into her hand, "About damn time we're getting some answers! And maybe a fight, too!"

"And people think Kiba's a blood knight," Neji thought as everyone followed the Nara kunoichi to the woods where the confrontation was taking place.

* * *

A short while later, Sasuke and his friends were led to a clearing in the wooded area on the Nara clan's property. What they saw shocked them; of the four Nara clan men confronting the three mysterious Konoha kunoichi, three of them were knocked out, and the fourth was panting in exhaustion, with a shuriken jabbed into his right shoulder somewhat, causing it to bleed a bit. "The hell is wrong with you women?!" the Nara man snapped as his masked adversaries, "If you're really that hungry, then you could have just gone to the store and bought some-"

"Yeah, I'm going to have to cut you off right there," said the kunoichi in the middle; she had a deer fawn slung over her right shoulder.

"Cut me off? For what?" the Nara man asked, "For trying to suggest that you-"

"-Do something that isn't an option for my sisters and I, yes," the kunoichi in the middle interrupted.

"Isn't an option?" the Nara man asked in a tone that was three parts dumbfounded, seven parts in pain, "The hell are you-"

"Oi! You three!" Sasuke exclaimed, getting the attention of all three mysterious kunoichi and the injured Nara man.

"…Hey, isn't that Sasuke Uchiha?" asked the kunoichi on the far right (if you're facing the group).

"Well I'll be damned," said the kunoichi on the far left, "He did return to Konoha!"

"What do you want, Uchiha?" the middle kunoichi growled angrily.

"My friends and I are looking into the recent deer killings that have been happening on Nara clan property," Sasuke explained to the three kunoichi in a firm tone as he gestured to Neji, Rock Lee and Tenten.

"So, imagine our surprise when the boys and I find the three of you in the act," Tenten continued as she cracked her knuckles, hoping that the confrontation will come to blows.

"I heard rumor that you're trying to earn redemption or some crap like that," the kunoichi in the middle said as she waived her free hand in a dismissive gesture, "From the looks of it, you're earning it by agreeing to act at Lady Tsunade's attack dog."

Setting her slain game on the ground, the middle kunoichi said, "Which is good for my sisters and I, really."

"So, we're going to fight Uchiha and company, then?" asked the right most kunoichi.

"Looks like it," the middle kunoichi replied as she reached behind her back to pull a kunai from her weapons pouch; the other two kunoichi did the same.

"Alright boys," Tenten said with more than a mild hint of excitement in her tone, "We got us a fight on our-" Tenten was cut off when all three mysterious kunoichi jumped into the air while screaming battle cries. To everyone's surprise, all three kunoichi were aiming for Neji first.

Neji jumped back, avoiding the kunoichi. When they landed, the kunoichi all proceeded to run for Neji, but Sasuke rammed into the left most kunoichi; Rock Lee got the right most kunoichi. "Hey Tenten!" Neji shouted as he moved his body left and right to avoid kunai swipes from the kunoichi still attacking him, "Can you get the injured Nara clan ninjas out of here?"

"Oh, come on!" Tenten exclaimed in an annoyed tone, "Why can't I-"

"Just do it!" Sasuke shouted as he slammed his right foot in to the stomach of the kunoichi he was fighting, making her stumble back a few steps.

Grumbling, Tenten nonetheless proceeded to help the Nara ninjas out of danger; with the three hostile kunoichi occupied fighting the boys, Tenten could do her job with impunity. While Tenten did her job, the boys did theirs'. "I really don't see why you and your friends must kill deer belonging to the Nara clan for food," Rock Lee said as he blocked a punch from the kunoichi he was fighting, "Couldn't you just make an offer for deer meat instead?"

"Couldn't you and your friends just go to hell?" the kunoichi replied, swinging her left foot up to try and kick Rock Lee's side; as a master of unarmed combat, Rock Lee was easily able to block such a basic blow.

Over where Neji was fighting his kunoichi opponent, the Hyuga prodigy wore a wide-eyed look of shock; his opponent was particularly aggressive. "What, are you the Hokage's attack dog, same as Uchiha?" asked the kunoichi fighting Neji, "Because I would _love_ to put you down. I'd also like to go after Uzumaki's Hyuga lap dog as well, as would my sisters!"

"Like hell I'll allow you or anyone else to harm Hinata-sama," Neji swore as he thrusted his right palm forward, "Or anyone else from my clan!"

Sasuke's fight against his kunoichi opponent was more or less just a Taijitsu sparring match. "She's moving pretty quickly," Sasuke thought, "Too quickly for me to weave the hand signs for a jitsu. I need to bide my time until an opening-"

"HIYAA!" Tenten exclaimed and she leapt into the fray; with the four Nara ninjas escorted safely out of the area, Tenten rushed in hoping to score at least one good hit. She got her wish when she leapt up, and then seemingly flew, right at the kunoichi Sasuke was fighting, landing a foot slam on the kunoichi's left side and sending her backwards a bit.

"Now!" Sasuke exclaimed in his mind as he quickly wove the appropriate hand signs. "Fire style: Fireball jitsu!" Sasuke exclaimed before casting a large sphere of fire, sending it flying at the kunoichi he was fighting. The crackling flames scored a direct hit, and when the flames cleared, the kunoichi was covering her face; part of her mask, which concealed the lower half of her face, was burned off, depriving her of some of her anonymity. "Girls! Fall back!" exclaimed the kunoichi that Sasuke was fighting.

Understanding the order, the two kunoichi fled with their fellow, with the kunoichi who was fighting Neji remarking loud enough for everyone to hear, "Aww, and I wanted to put that Hyuga dog down, too…"

"Woo," Rock Lee remarked as he flumped down on the ground, "Those kunoichi were pretty wild, weren't they?"

"They also seemed particularly keen on ending me, too," Neji remarked, "Or any Hyuga clan member, from what I can tell. Although why they would desire such a thing is beyond me."

Looking at the slain fawn that the kunoichi he fought laid on the ground, Sasuke said in a mildly disgusted tone, "Wow. They must have been heartless as well, assuming that killing a baby deer is an indication of that."

As Sasuke and his friends started to regain their bearings, Shikamaru and his parents came running onto the scene.

"WELL THIS IS JUST PLEASANT!" Shikaku exclaimed angrily as he saw the dead fawn lying on the ground, "THEY'RE EVEN KILLING FAWNS NOW!"

"I doubt that there'll be more killings, given that they were confronted and that one of them was partly revealed," Sasuke replied, "But you may want to get some friendly ninja to assist with patrols until you're comfortable that any and all danger to your clan's remaining deer has passed."

"…Good point, young man," Yoshino remarked, "I bet my husband's old teammates will be more than glad to volunteer."

"Yeah, Choza and Inoichi always like it when the three of us get together for a job," Shikaku remarked with a nod of agreement, "Although from the looks of things, the Nara clan may need more help than what our traditional allies the Akimichi and the Yamanaka can provide on their own."

"So, get as many volunteers as you can get!" Yoshino exclaimed, "Hell, grab Yamanaka's idiot brigade if it comes down to it!" (4)

Turning to face Sasuke and his friends, Shikamaru said, "You guys certainly pulled my clan's ass out of the fire. Thanks for the save."

"No problem," Sasuke replied, offering Shikamaru a handshake. Smirking in a friendly manner, Shikamaru accepted the handshake. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go report to Lady Tsunade," Sasuke said after the handshake was finished, "She'll be wanting to know about the progress made in this case."

* * *

Later, Sasuke stood before Tsunade's desk over at the Hokage office building, at which Tsunade was currently sitting. For some reason, Sakura was standing next to Sasuke. "So, that's your report on the case," Tsunade said as she looked to Sasuke, "You, Neji, Rock Lee and Tenten encountered the culprits behind the deer killings that were occurring on Nara clan property, who turned out to be three kunoichi who do their mask shopping at the same place as Kakashi." Looking to a hand-written copy of the report that she was holding, Tsunade continued, "The one kunoichi's mask was partly burned, but she covered her face before you and your friends could get a good look at her. Then she and her fellows fled."

"The Nara clan has lost twenty deer total," Sasuke pointed out, "I don't know a lot about the Nara clan, so I don't have much of an idea on how badly this will impact them."

After giving it a bit of thought, Tsunade said, "Twenty, ehh? That's roughly two-fifths of the total number of deer that the Nara clan owns, if the numbers I saw prior to the killings was correct."

"They lost forty percent of their deer?" Sakura said in a shocked tone, holding a hand over her mouth.

"Rest assured," Tsunade began saying to Sasuke and Sakura, "That the Konoha government will help the Nara clan through this rough patch. The Akimichi clan and the Yamanaka clan have already pledged to assist the Nara clan."

"I'm glad to see that the Nara clan has good friends that always have their back," Sasuke remarked.

Nodding in agreement, Tsunade said, "Totally. Anyway, good job on the Nara deer killing case, Sasuke. You're dismissed." Nodding in thanks, Sasuke took his leave, with Sakura escorting him out of Tsunade's office and out of the Hokage office building as a whole. When they got to the first-floor lobby, however, they were met up by Neji, Rock Lee, Tenten and Shikamaru. The lazy genius raised a hand, getting Sasuke's attention.

"We were hoping to run into you," Shikamaru said to Sasuke, "We were planning to head to the barbecue grill to celebrate the crisis my clan was going through finally being over."

"You were the star in solving the case, so we wouldn't dream of going without you," Tenten added.

"We'll be paying this time, by the way," Neji stated, "I mean, you footed the bill last time…"

"You're free to join us if you wish, Sakura-chan," Rock Lee offered.

"…I wonder if the barbecue grill still has my favorite soda," Sasuke replied, drawing cheers from Shikamaru and Team Gai; after all, Sasuke had just accepted their offer.

Turning to face the pink-haired medic ninja, Sasuke said, "Rock Lee's got a point, Sakura. You should come too. It'll make dinner feel like a real get together."

Smiling, Sakura said, "Luckily for me I got off of work a few minutes before you came in to report to Lady Tsunade. I'll be happy to join you, Tenten and the boys." As thus, Sasuke and company all proceeded to make their way to the barbecue grill.

As they walked, Shikamaru said, "Hey, Sasuke."

"Hmm?" the Uchiha replied, "What's up, Shikamaru?"

"Due to my folks being busy with making arrangements regarding the remains of our slain deer as well as making arrangements to receive assistance from other clans, and along with the fact that there's been a lack of missions, I got more free time on my hands than I know what to do with," Shikamaru began, "If you need any help later, give me a holler and I'll be glad to swing by and pitch in."

"Alright, Sasuke-kun!" Rock Lee exclaimed, "At this rate, all of our friends will have your back once again!"

Laughing, Sasuke said, "Yeah, that does sound nice."

"I'd probably wait until Naruto cools off before talking to him if I were you," Tenten muttered to herself.

"Hmm?" Sasuke said as he and Sakura regarded the weapons master kunoichi, "Did you say something, Tenten?"

"Oh, nothing," Tenten replied hastily, "Nothing at all! Anywho, let's get to the Barbecue grill already! I'm starving!" Sasuke and company proceeded to talk and laugh as they walked along the roads of Konoha.

END, GUESS WHO'S BACK CHAPTER TWO

Author's Notes:

(1) Given his lack of funds, this is all he can afford.

(2) Sasuke _is_ a man of his word, after all.

(3) Setting equivalent of 'shooting yourself in the foot'.

(4) Of course, they're going to be showing up eventually. What did you expect?

If you recognize the pattern, then that's a good thing. Anyway, chapter two is done and over with.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.

Guess who's back?

Chapter three: Super-sized shinobi

Sasuke woke up in his government-provided apartment one day in the village of Konohagakure, wondering what he'll be doing next on his road to redemption. The last Uchiha already had a good list of accomplishments going on; he had rescued Team Gai from being held hostage in a gambler's den, and he had led the efforts that stopped the killings of Nara clan-owned deer. Sasuke also has earned the trust of some old friends; the aforementioned Team Gai (Neji, Rock Lee and Tenten) and Shikamaru Nara. Yes, things were starting to look good for Sasuke.

Getting out of bed, Sasuke wandered into his kitchen/dining room area; on the table sat a small bag of various personal hygiene products that Sasuke had received as a gift from Tenten during the dinner that they all went to the previous night. Sasuke was glad for this; due to a continuing lack of funds, Sasuke had nothing in the realm of shampoo, soap, deodorant, toothpaste, and the like. Sasuke's showers were nothing more than letting hot water rain down upon Sasuke for roughly a quarter of an hour. Now Sasuke is able to, among other things, make his hair clean and smell really nice.

After getting ready for the day, Sasuke was walking to his front door, ready to report to Lady Tsunade to see what work he had today. When Sasuke was about seven feet from the front door, he heard someone knocking on it. When he got to the front door and opened it, he was surprised to see Shikamaru standing there.

"…This is a surprise," Sasuke said, "I've never been one to receive visitors in the morning."

"Yeah, it's kind of a drag for me to be up this early," Shikamaru said, agreeing in his own unique way.

"So, what brings you by Shikamaru?" Sasuke asked.

His head leaning to the left at a slight but noticeable degree, Shikamaru smiled and after a beat replied, "Choji and his folks want to know if you have time for breakfast."

Sasuke could not help but express some surprise. "Choji?" Sasuke asked, arching an eyebrow out of curiosity.

"I told Choji how you're back and attempting to clean up your act," Shikamaru explained, "I also told Choji and his folks that it was you who led the efforts that put an end to those kunoichi killing my clan's deer for meat. Upon hearing that bit, Choji's mother said that any friend of my clan is a friend of the Akimichi clan."

"Well I still haven't been able to do any respectable amount of grocery shopping, so the only breakfast I had today was just a glass of orange juice," Sasuke remarked.

"Don't tell Mrs. Akimichi that," Shikamaru half joked-half warned, "She'll pile your plate with more than what any three non-Akimichi guys can handle in one sitting." Both the last Uchiha and the lazy genius shared a laugh before Shikamaru became serious again and said, "Seriously, though. Don't tell Mrs. Akimichi that." (1)

* * *

Sasuke followed Shikamaru to the Akimichi clan compound for breakfast. Along the way, they past a training grounds in which Neji and Rock Lee were sparring, trying to further hone their respective unarm fighting styles. Seeing their friends, Neji and Rock Lee called out and got their attention, letting them catch up. Shikamaru decided to bring them along, stating that with more people, they're more likely to put a dent in the amount of food that Mrs. Akimichi is bound to have made.

After a minute or two of walking, Sasuke and company reached the Akimichi clan compound. When Shikamaru knocked on the door, it was opened by a dark-skinned girl with reddish hair. She wore a simple pale yellow-cream colored long sleeved blouse, a pale light brown skirt that reached halfway down her shins, and a pair of shinobi sandals. To Sasuke's immediate shock, the girl's left arm was in a sling; he could very clearly see that the entirety of her left forearm was in a cast, with the top halves of her fingers and thumb sticking out at the end, making it very hard, if not flat out impossible, for the girl to grip something with her left hand.

"Ah, Karui," Shikamaru greeted, "How have you been?"

"As well as always," Karui greeted. Leaning to her left slightly, she saw the guests Shikamaru had brought along; her eyes immediately went to Sasuke, because she hadn't seen him come over before. "…I heard that you were back in Konoha," Karui said as a greeting to Sasuke, who said nothing as he still wore a look of mild shock on his face. "…Is there a problem?" Karui asked innocently.

"Pardon me if this is inappropriate of me to ask," Sasuke began in a mildly alarmed tone, "But what the hell happened to your arm?"

"Naruto happened, that's what," a hardy voice called out. One second later, Choji appeared in the doorway next to Karui; he looked largely unchanged from the last time Sasuke saw him, except that Choji's long, shaggy-looking hair was now somewhat longer.

As Choji planted a quick peck on Karui's right cheek, Sasuke said, "Wait a minute, what do you mean 'Naruto happened'?!"

Sighing, Shikamaru said as he faced Sasuke, "About a week or so before you came back to Konoha, Karui unintentionally caused a huge accident. None of us really like to talk about the accident in detail, but after the accident, Naruto…" Shikamaru stopped short, pointed to Karui's injured arm, and continued, "…Did that."

In total disbelief, Sasuke said in a shocked and worried tone, "That…does not sound like the Naruto that I know."

"We should talk about this later," Choji insisted as he was obviously trying to change topics, "Now come on in, everyone. My mom has made breakfast, and she's always happy to set extra places at the table."

As Sasuke and company followed Choji and Karui into the home, Shikamaru whispered to Sasuke, "Seriously. Keep my warning in mind, dude. You will thank me later."

* * *

A few minutes later, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Neji and Rock Lee were talking with Choji and Karui over plates piled generously with various breakfast food items. "…So, after we recognized the signs for what they were, my teammates and I all decided to hightail it out of Kumo," Karui said as she finished a story she was telling, "Sadly enough, I was the only one who managed to get away. Everyone else who was trying to bail with me was either captured and dragged back to Kumo, or simply killed on the spot."

"I still can't believe that Omoi is dead," Choji remarked somberly as he shook his head, "He always seemed like a swell guy to me."

"What surprises me is that the political cabinet who had taken over and is currently the ruling power of Kumo was able to have both Killer Bee and his brother the Raikage killed," Sasuke remarked, "Those guys were insanely powerful ninja who both nearly wait a minute, wasn't Killer Bee the host of Eight Tails?"

"Eight Tails won't stay dead forever," Karui confirmed, "He'll reincarnate. But it won't be for quite some time." (2)

"I have to say, Choji" Neji remarked after he swallowed a bit of muffin that he was chewing on, "The chocolate chip muffins your mother made are fantastic."

"That's a raisin muffin," Choji pointed out, "And Karui made them."

"And like that I lost my appetite," Neji said, setting his half-eaten muffin down.

"What, because Karui made it?" Choji asked in a semi-defensive tone.

"Because it a raisin muffin," Neji clarified, "With all due respect, I don't like raisins."

"I don't like raisins either," Karui replied in a tone of agreement as she nodded, "I thought that the measuring cup that I dumped into the muffin mix was full of chocolate chips. It wasn't until the muffins were halfway done that I noticed they weren't smelling like chocolate chip muffins."

"Still, even though I don't like raisin muffins, I can tell from what I did eat of that muffin that you're a pretty damn good baker," Neji said to Karui, "The fact that you can bake that well while one of your arms is out of commission speaks volumes of your skill."

"About damn time someone other than Shikamaru said something nice about my girlfriend," Choji thought as he gulped down the remaining contents of his glass.

"I have to admit, did not peg you as someone skilled in the kitchen," Rock Lee admitted to Karui.

"Yeah, I was kind of trying to maintain this reputation of being the most badass woman in the Land of Lightning," Karui remarked, "That reputation would have been shattered like my left forearm if word of my secret love for cooking and baking ever got out."

"Karui is an amazing cook," Choji half stated-half bragged, "In fact, Karui was also the one who made the eggs and French Toast we're eating." (3)

"Seriously?" Sasuke asked, "Wow. French Toast is my favorite breakfast food item, and this is the best French Toast I ever had."

"Ma has been so impressed with Karui's skills that she's openly stated an interest in letting Karui try a recipe from the clan cookbook," Choji remarked to his friends, "Pa's all for it, after having tried Karui's baked chicken with orange juice recipe."

Blushing slightly, Karui said, "Oh, I don't think I'm that good yet."

"Clan what now?" Sasuke asked, arching an eyebrow in mild confusion.

"It's the Akimichi clan's greatest treasure," Choji explained, "It contains hand-written copies of every recipe our clan has gathered over the years. I personally don't know how far the cookbook actually dates back, but I'm certain its recipes have been around at least since the beginning of the Yamanaka-Nara-Akimichi alliance." (4)

"Mr. Akimichi is even arguing for adding my baked chicken with orange juice recipe to the cookbook," Karui said, "Which is the most flattering thing anyone has said on my behalf ever since I came to Konoha."

"I'll have to try it for myself," Sasuke remarked, "But if it's as good as Choji's father is claiming it is, then I wouldn't mind more than one serving."

"You guys should come by tonight for dinner, then," Choji replied, "Karui is going to be making her baked chicken with orange juice."

"Chances are we'll be bringing Tenten and Sakura along," Neji pointed out, "We've all been having dinner together every night ever since Sasuke rescued Rock Lee, Tenten and I from the gambler's den."

"Oh, is that so?" a kind-sounding female voice said, getting everyone to turn and see Choji's mother and father walking over; it was obviously Choji's mother who had spoken. "I'm glad to be seeing that we'll be having a party tonight," Choji's mother said, "Although that being said, I'll have to go out and buy some more chicken breasts. …Oh, who am I kidding, I was going to be doing that anyway. I got Choza and Choji to feed!"

"I'll be coming along as well," Karui said, "I heard rumors that that Hakkaku jerk has been spotted in the Konoha area."

"Who?" Sasuke said in a confused tone.

"Hakkaku is a cooking ninja from the Land of Lightning," Rock Lee, "The same land as Choji's girlfriend. As you know, Kumogakure is the Land of Lightning's resident great ninja village."

"Hakkaku is a right proper bastard, though," Karui stated, "Hell, even Kumo's current governing body wants that bastard found, just so they can punish him themselves. I'm half-tempted to go out and find Hakkaku myself." In a tone that was somewhat ominous, Karui added, "I'll be saving my former village some trouble in the long run if I do."

"This doesn't sound like you, dear," Choji's mother said in a worried tone.

Sighing, Karui replied, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Akimichi, but as someone who was once affiliated with the Land of Lightning _AND_ as someone who takes pride in cooking, I cannot stand Hakkaku. That man is just the-"

"IT'S GONE!" a man's voice shouted, cutting Karui off. As Sasuke and everyone else looked in the direction the shouting came from, they saw an Akimichi clan ninja run into the room; he was about as tall (and heavy) as Choza.

"What's wrong?" Choza asked as he regarded his fellow clansman.

"The Akimichi clan cookbook," the Akimichi clan ninja said, "It's been stolen!"

"WHAT?!" Everyone exclaimed in surprise.

"There's this huge hole in the wall over at the building where the cookbook was currently being kept at," the Akimichi clan ninja explained, "From the looks of it, it was made by someone blasting it with jitsu."

"Did anyone catch a glimpse of the person who stole it, perhaps?" Choji's mother asked.

Nodding, the Akimichi clan ninja said, "I actually saw someone fleeing from the scene. It was a man with longish grey hair. I think he had a very fair skin tone."

"Hakkaku!" Karui exclaimed as she stood up, slamming the table surface with her good hand. To Choji's parents, Karui said, "Let me go after him. I have some choice words for the man."

"Yeah, I also want to have another talk with him," Choji agreed, "It's been a while since the last time I saw him." (5)

"I'm helping as well," Shikamaru half said-half insisted as he got up, "Choji's always got my back, and now his clan is helping mine deal with the aftermath of all of my clan's deer being killed. The hell kind of a friend of Choji's would I be if I did nothing to pay him back?"

Smiling, Choji said, "Thanks, dude."

"Where's the building that Hakkaku assaulted and stole your clan's cookbook from?" Sasuke asked Choji's parents as he got up from the table.

"I can bring you along," the Akimichi clan ninja who came running in said, getting the attention of Sasuke and his friends, "I have to go back anyway to help clean up the mess that was made."

To the others, Sasuke said, "Alight, guys. Let's get going." Nodding in agreement, Shikamaru and the others all followed Sasuke and the Akimichi clan ninja out of Choji's family's home and over to where the Akimichi clan cookbook was kept.

* * *

The Akimichi clan ninja led Sasuke and his friends over to a two-story building on Akimichi clan property; after they were led to the building's left side (if you're facing the same direction as the building), Sasuke and the others saw a huge hole in the wall. "The edge of the circle isn't charred," Sasuke remarked as he examined the damage, "So it wasn't fire-element jitsu that was used for the break-in."

"Excuse me," a female voice called out, getting the attention of Sasuke and his friends. Looking over, they saw a female Akimichi clan member; she was an inch or two shorter than Sasuke, and she seemed to be sixteen at the oldest. She was holding a broom, obviously sweeping up some of the mess that was made by the break-in. "Can I help you guys?" the Akimichi clan girl asked.

"We're here to investigate what happened, and hopefully get a lead on the suspect," Sasuke said, "I don't suppose you saw anything?"

"Yes, I saw a man grab the Akimichi clan cookbook after making that hole in the wall," the Akimichi clan girl replied, "He had fair skin and long grayish straight hair. I think the robes he was wearing are traditional Kumogakure clothing."

"That sounds like Hakkaku, alright," Karui said, her right fist clenching as tightly as possible.

"Did you see which way he fled?" Sasuke asked the Akimichi clan girl.

Walking to the giant hole in the, the Akimichi clan girl peered out of it, and pointed forward while saying, "I distinctly remember seeing him flee in that direction."

"Choji," Shikamaru began, "You and Karui should stay here. Some of those chunks of destroyed wall look pretty heavy, so you should help heave them out of the way."

"Oh, Karui can help me sweep up here," the Akimichi clan girl suggested. Holding up a dustpan, the Akimichi girl said, "You only need one hand to hold a dustpan's handle."

"…With all due respect, I'd like to help get the cookbook back," Choji replied to Shikamaru, "I mean, it IS my clan's greatest treasure."

"Don't worry about it," Shikamaru said, "Sasuke, Neji, Rock Lee and I can handle a lone Kumo doofus the likes of Hakkaku."

After a few seconds of considering the matter, Choji conceded to Shikamaru's point. "Alright," Choji replied, "Just remember to be careful when you handle the cookbook. It IS kind of old, after all."

"Of course, dude," Shikamaru remarked with a nod as he, Sasuke, Neji and Rock Lee took off in the same direction that Hakkaku was seen fleeing in.

* * *

As Sasuke and company ran in the direction that Hakkaku was seen fleeing in, Sasuke asked, "Hey, I just had a thought. Why would this Hakkaku fellow risk coming into Konoha to steal a cookbook while there's so much distrust for Kumogakure? Karui is on the receiving end of so much grief for being from Kumo, and she's on our side. Hakkaku is also from Kumo, but he doesn't have the excuse of being on our side like Karui. What gives?"

"You know how Choji and his folks refer to the Akimichi clan cookbook as their clan's greatest treasure, right?" Shikamaru began, "If you were forced to guess, would you say that they were speaking metaphorically or literally?"

After a few seconds of giving the question some thought, Sasuke replied, "I would have to say that they were speaking metaphorically."

"Well Sasuke, regardless of what you would have said, you would have been right," Shikamaru said.

"Excuse me?" Sasuke asked, sounding mildly lost.

"True, the Akimichi clan cookbook is metaphorically the clan's greatest treasure," Shikamaru explained, "However, it's the only known cookbook to contain a number of certain recipes, and the Akimichi clan guards it closely."

"A hand-written copy of even just _one_ of the secret recipes from that cookbook can fetch quite a price," Neji remarked, "I believe Choji's father once said something about someone making him an offer of one and a half million ryo for a copy of one of the recipes from the cookbook."

"Wait, what?!" Sasuke remarked, sounding totally shocked.

Nodding in agreement with the Hyuga prodigy, Shikamaru added, "And that's just the _lowest_ offer that's been made for a copy of a recipe from the Akimichi clan cookbook. Keep in mind that there's at least a hundred and fifty one-of-a-kind recipes in the cookbook." Sasuke's eyes were widening more and more; suddenly the theft of the Akimichi clan's ancestral cookbook was making a hell of a lot more sense to him.

Seeing Sasuke's expression, Shikamaru said, "Yeah. Now you see what I'm talking ab-" Shikamaru stopped short when he felt the top of his foot brush against something thin; looking down quickly, Shikamaru saw that he had unknowingly pulled a tripwire trap someone had set. "…Ah man," Shikamaru muttered in a tone of complaint as some spots on the outside walls of the building that he and the others were rushing past started to glow. A few seconds later, there were a number of explosions.

As the explosions engulfed Sasuke and company, the Konoha citizens that had seen what was going on started to mummer in panic; one female citizen even screamed in fear. As the citizens started to panic, a form appeared on the rooftop of one of the buildings that the explosive tags had been set on; this was a middle-aged man with fair skin, long straight grayish hair, and he wore traditional Kumogakure robes and a pair of shinobi sandals. Seeing the Konoha ninja who were pursuing him engulfed in the explosion, he gave a skyward laugh.

"Let's see if the citizenry of Konoha can stop me now!" the man bragged as he laughed, "No one can ever match my-"

"Seriously," Sasuke's voice called out, cutting the man off, "A monologue? Can't you be even more of a cliché?" Wide-eyed with shock, the middle-aged man looked up to where he heard the voice come from; Sasuke and company were standing on the rooftop of a building on the side of the street opposite of him. Looking at the man, Sasuke said, "My friends and I are all ninjas. Do you think we wouldn't have been able to avoid an explosion?"

"You must be Hakkaku," Neji said as he glared at the man.

Growling angrily over failing to kill his pursuers, the man said, "Yes, yes I am Hakkaku. The greatest cooking ninja in the Land of Lightning! If not the whole world!"

"A man's cooking is only as good as the character of the man who made it!" Rock Lee declared, "That being said, even your finest dish would taste like pure poison!"

"How dare you question my cooking without even trying it!" Hakkaku exclaimed, pointing dramatically at Rock Lee.

"What business do you have with the Akimichi clan cookbook?" Neji half asked-half demanded.

Smirking, Hakkaku said, "I intend to auction off the cookbook on the Land of Lightning black market. After I write down and save a copy of all of the recipes for my own use, of course."

"Those recipes belong to the Akimichi clan," Shikamaru swore, "It's up to them what will be done with the recipes."

"Oh?" Hakkaku replied in a mock curious tone, his head tilted somewhat to one side, "Is that so?" Leaping forward, Sasuke landed right next to Hakkaku on the rooftop on the other side of the street. Startled by Sasuke's sudden appearance, Hakkaku swung his left fist in a backhanded style strike. Sasuke easily blocked the basic attack while throwing a standard punch right at the cooking ninja's face. Hakkaku blocked Sasuke's punch by catching it in his right hand; this set off a series of punches from both ninja, with neither letting up.

"…Wow," Rock Lee remarked as he and Neji watched Sasuke's fight with Hakkaku, "I'm glad to see that Sasuke hasn't let his Taijitsu skills grow rusty over the two years since we last saw him, back when the fourth great ninja war ended."

"Shouldn't we go over there to help?" Neji asked rhetorically, "I mean, we have no clue how skilled an opponent that Hakkaku-"

"Good job, Sasuke!" Shikamaru called out, distracting the two boys of Team Gai; it was Neji who first noticed that Shikamaru had used his Shadow Possession technique to reach down the side of the building they were on, across the street, up the side of the building where Sasuke was fighting Hakkaku, and ensnare Hakkaku. Sasuke's shadow was also ensnared, a side effect of Shikamaru being kind of hasty in capturing Hakkaku.

"Rock Lee, Neji, can you guys head over to grab Hakkaku?" Shikamaru asked, "I can't hold his shadow forever." Nodding in the affirmative, the boys of Team Gai leapt to the rooftop on the other side of the street and secured Hakkaku.

"Okay Shikamaru, you can let go!" Sasuke called out. Both Sasuke and Hakkaku could feel the Shadow Possession that had trapped them melt away; however, whereas Sasuke had his freedom restored, Hakkaku did not get his back.

As Shikamaru leapt to the rooftop where his friends were at, they were met up by an adult male Konoha shinobi who Sasuke did not recognize; however, the man looked like adult male version of Ino. "Ah, Mr. Yamanaka," Shikamaru said as he greeted the Konoha ninja that just showed up, "Thanks for the assist."

"Wait, who is this?" Sasuke asked as he pointed to the Yamanaka man.

"Sasuke, this is Inoichi Yamanaka," Neji explained, "He's one of the finest jonin-ranked ninja Konoha has to offer."

"He's also Ino's father," Rock Lee added, "Mr. Yamanaka has some history with Shikamaru's father and Choji's father."

Nodding in the affirmative, Inoichi said as he frisked Hakkaku, "My friends and I are helping Choza get back his clan's cookbook."

"Wait a minute," Sasuke said, "I thought that Mr. Akimichi was one of your friends, along with Mr. Nara."

"…I don't think my dad and Choji's dad are the friends that Mr. Yamanaka is talking about," Shikamaru replied. (6)

"Yeah, Choza's still helping his clan with clean up, and Shikaku and his clan are busy with the hell they've recently gone through," Inoichi said as he opened a weapon pouch he found on Hakkaku, "So I got the bros together for this job to help out with I found the cookbook!"

High above his head, Inoichi held up the Akimichi clan cookbook; it was roughly the general length and width of the average manga graphic novel (7). "Hey Shikamaru, can you get this back to Choza and his clan?" Inoichi asked as he handed the cookbook to Shikamaru, "I've got to gather the bros to help me escort this bozo to the local station for questioning. After that he'll be taken to prison."

Accepting the cookbook from Inoichi, Shikamaru replied, "Yeah, I sort of promised Choji that I'd get his clan's cookbook back anyway."

"Mr. Yamanaka," Neji said, "If you need assistance until you rendezvous with the rest of your team, I'd be glad to help you keep an eye on Hakkaku."

"I'll help as well," Rock Lee offered.

Turning to face Sasuke, Rock Lee said, "Sasuke-kun, you should go report this to Lady Tsunade. I bet she'll be interested in hearing about a lone Kumo ninja in Konoha."

"Hopefully I'll be able to tell her sometime before or after she gives me my assignment for the day," Sasuke replied before he took off.

* * *

Over in Lady Tsunade's office over at the Hokage office building, Sasuke stood before Tsunade's desk, at which Tsunade was currently sitting; Sakura was off to the side, managing some files in a filing cabinet. "…Seriously?" Tsunade began as she gave the last Uchiha a surprised look, "How did you know that I was going to have you look into the sightings of Hakkaku in the Konoha area?"

"I…honestly didn't know that that's what you had planned for me," Sasuke replied, a little surprised by the fact that he had unknowingly already did his assignment for the day, "Shikamaru, Neji, Rock Lee and I were all sort of dragged into the whole mess as we were having breakfast over at Choji's place this morning."

"…Huh," Tsunade said, sounding at a loss for words. Shrugging, Tsunade said, "Well I guess that means you're free for the day."

"Thank you, Lady Tsunade," Sasuke replied as he gave a respectful nod.

Turning around, Sasuke said to Sakura, "Hey Sakura. The guys and I were invited over to Choji's place for dinner tonight. We were all wondering if you and Tenten would like to come along."

"You know, I never tried any Akimichi clan cooking," Sakura remarked, "But if it's as good as Choji says it is, then I'd be dumb to refuse. What time?"

"I'll have to ask, but I'll give you a holler when I find out," Sasuke replied. Turning for Tsunade's office door, Sasuke said, "I'll see you later, alright?"

After Sasuke was gone, Tsunade looked at the file on her desk; it was a file detailing the job that Tsunade had lined up for Sasuke for the day. "…Well it looks like the Akimichi clan just saved me a bit of work today," Tsunade remarked as she picked up the form and crumpled it up into a paper ball. Leaning to her right slightly, Tsunade spotted and aimed for a small trash can sitting next to the plush leather two-seater sofa in her office; Tsunade threw the crumpled-up form, and successfully scored a shot. "Two points!" Tsunade said in amusement.

"Sasuke seems to be doing pretty well so far, isn't he?" Sakura said as she started a conversation with her mentor.

"Yeah, he's a real go-getter," Tsunade agreed. Leaning back in her chair, the Fifth Hokage remarked, "Heh, I bet that it'd put a real bee in Orochimaru's bonnet if he saw how productive of a member of society Sasuke is becoming. That slippery bastard failed to fully turn Sasuke to the dark side!" (8)

"Yeah," Sakura said, "I'm glad to see Sasuke doing so well. He also seems a lot happier, too. Well, I've never seen Sasuke this happy, as far as I can remember."

"…You think that Sasuke might just be what we need to save _his_ heart from the darkness that's slowly trying to take him over?" Tsunade asked, her tone taking a very slight somber hint.

Her tone matching that of Tsunade's, Sakura replied, "…Yeah. One can only hope. You don't think that it's the-"

"It's not that," Tsunade replied as she cut her student off, "Of that I am completely sure. I'm still trying to find out what's been causing his change in tone."

Sighing, Sakura simply resumed organizing the file cabinet drawer that she was working on. "Sasuke…" Sakura thought as a tear started to well up in the corner of her right eye, "…You have to help save him…please…"

END, GUESS WHO'S BACK CHAPTER THREE

Author's Notes:

(1) Any grandchild that Choji provides his mother with will eat like a king.

(2) As much as I hated to do so, in order for the conflict in this story's background to make sense, there had to be as few sympathetic Kumogakure-related characters as possible. Otherwise, a lot of things wouldn't make sense in the long run.

(3) I'm not quite sure how it can still be called _French_ Toast since France doesn't exist in the world of Naruto.

(4) That's at least fifteen generations worth of recipes.

(5) An obvious reference to Part One anime filler.

(5) You know who it is.

(7) It's about fifty percent thicker than the average manga graphic novel, though.

(8) Which, despite popular belief, does not have cookies.

There's chapter three done, which means Sasuke's pool of friends that he can call up for help has gone up by one. As a side note, when I was brainstorming the plot for the chapter where Sasuke helped Choji, I had my heart set on making Hakkaku the chapter's antagonist, since he's a cooking ninja (a food-related villain for a food-lover like Choji) and has had a previous run in with Choji. Hakkaku also serves as a foil for Karui, the lone Kumo ninja who's actually on the same side as Sasuke and company. As for giving Karui a secret love for cooking and baking, there's two reasons for that. One, she needed something in common with Hakkaku, so I decided to make that cooking and baking.

Two, the girl's dating Choji. CHOJI. Having some culinary skills is pretty much required if you're going to be with that dude.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.

Guess who's back?

Chapter four: Accessory anarchy

Sasuke was having a small breakfast one morning in his government-provided apartment in the village of Konohagakure. Sasuke's hair was still just a little bit wet from the shower he had taken earlier ("Thank goodness Tenten got me those personal hygiene products," Sasuke thought as he took a sip from his glass of orange juice). After finishing up his modest meal, Sasuke put the dishes in his kitchen sink, put on a proper outfit for the day, and proceeded to leave his apartment to report to Lady Tsunade to see what work she had for him this time.

Just before he reached the front door, however, he heard someone knocking on it. Curious, the last Uchiha took the last two steps towards his front door and opened it. Standing right there was Ino Yamanaka, the teammate of Shikamaru Nara and Choji Akimichi, two of Sasuke's old friends who in recent events Sasuke had earned the support of. Ino's appearance from the last time Sasuke saw here was largely unchanged, although she was wearing a casual outfit rather than a Konoha shinobi outfit; Ino wore a loose-fitting pair of women's pants that were a light pale cream in color, a loose-fitting women's shirt that was a rich purple in color, and a pair of shinobi's sandals.

"So, Sakura wasn't lying," Ino greeted as she looked at Sasuke, "You've returned to Konoha."

"Hello Ino," Sasuke replied, not even planning to bother wondering how Ino knew where he lived (1), "To what do I owe this early morning visit?"

"I'm planning on throwing a party tonight," Ino explained, "And you're invited."

"I am?" Sasuke said, momentarily caught off guard.

Rubbing the back of her head in an embarrassed manner, Ino continued, "Actually, you coming to the party is actually kind of sort of required. The party's being thrown to celebrate you returning to Konoha and all of the good that you've done so far."

"Is that so?" Sasuke replied, a small but amused smile on his face.

"Yeah, the women of my clan like parties," Ino admitted in an embarrassed manner, "I'm always looking for an excuse to have one."

"Well assuming that I have enough time after I finish whatever job Lady Tsunade has lined up for me today, I would be happy to go," Sasuke replied, "Should I bring something to the party like some soda or wait a minute, the party is over at your place, right?" After Ino replied in the affirmative, Sasuke said, "I have no idea where your place is."

"Shikamaru or Choji can tell you," Ino replied, "Since their respective clans have been long-time friends and allies of the Yamanaka clan, it would make sense for us to know where all of us live. Oh, and bringing something to the party isn't necessary."

"Well alright then," Sasuke said, "Oh, Sakura told me that you're dating that Sai fellow. Is that true?"

"He's a surprisingly nice person," Ino explained as she nodded in the affirmative. An amused look on her face, Ino said, "Why do you ask? Are you jealous?"

"Of his artistic skills, yes," Sasuke remarked, "Of him dating you, well…last night, when the guys and I had dinner at Choji's place, Shikamaru told me a story involving Sai, your father, and no less than a dozen cans of jellied cranberry sauce."

Sighing, Ino said, "I know. I seriously have no idea why my dad is so against me dating Sai. It doesn't help that my dad's friends like to help him harass Sai."

"That…does not sound like Mr. Nara and Mr. Akimichi," Sasuke remarked in a shocked tone.

"Not _those_ friends of my dad's," Ino replied, "I'm talking about my dad's _other_ friends." (2)

"Oh, speaking of your father, he helped me, Shikamaru, Neji and Rock Lee capture a criminal yesterday," Sasuke mentioned, "I don't think I properly thanked him for the help."

"I'll let him know you said thanks for the help after I get back to my clan's flower shop," Ino replied, "So yeah. If you can come to the party, Shikamaru and or Choji will come find you and bring you over."

"Sounds great," Sasuke replied, giving Ino a thumbs-up, "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a Hokage to report to for the morning."

"Oh yeah, of course," Ino replied as she stepped back to let Sasuke leave his apartment, "Oh, if you see Sakura over at the Hokage office building, can you tell her I said hi?"

"Sure thing," Sasuke said as he closed his door and locked it afterwards. As they walked down the outside stairs to the ground, Sasuke said to Ino, "Can you do me a favor and tell Sai not to let your father and your father's friends get to him? I remember from when a lot of girls back at the academy were crushing over me, and their fathers had a tendency to get rather protective of their respective children, so I can sympathize."

After a brief moment of thought, Sasuke added, "Hey, weren't you one of the aforementioned girls?"

"Yeah," Ino replied, "And that reminds me. I don't think I ever apologized for that stunt my dad pulled when we were eight."

"What I would like to know is where and how your father managed to get ahold of two dozen pogo sticks," Sasuke remarked in a manner showing that he had accepted Ino's belated apology. (3) After that, Sasuke and Ino went their separate ways.

* * *

Later, Sasuke had arrived at the Hokage office building. Tsunade, as per usual, was sitting at her desk; Sakura was standing at Tsunade's right side. "Reporting for duty, Lady Tsunade," Sasuke said.

"And you couldn't have come sooner," Tsunade said, her tone sounding with just the slightest hint of relief. As slight as that hint was, Sasuke was still able to pick up on it.

"Is something the matter, Lady Tsunade?" Sasuke asked.

"Sakura," Tsunade said, giving her student a cue. Walking up to Sasuke, Sakura handed him a plain file which contained a file. Opening it, Sasuke read the single-page profile (that had a photo of a necklace of some kind attached) detailing his job for the day.

"…The Succubus Amulet?" Sasuke said in a confused tone as he read something that was written on the file.

"It's a unique amulet that the village of Konohagakure has used as an interrogation tool since the very beginning of Lord Third's first stint as the active Hokage," Tsunade explained, "Basically, someone would wear the amulet while they ask a captured criminal or some other similar prisoner questions during the interrogation process."

"The amulet has a sort of hypnotic power that compels people who speak to the wearer to answer truthfully," Sakura explained, "But shortly after the fourth great ninja war ended, the amulet was also discovered to make people more attracted to the wearer."

"Prior to discovering this little tidbit, the amulet was called the Amulet of Compulsion," Tsunade stated, "After this new power was discovered, we changed its name to the Succubus Amulet."

Looking back to the file he was given, Sasuke said, "Where's the amulet now?"

"That's the thing," Tsunade replied as she shook her head briefly, "It was stolen from the room it was being kept in."

"Right here in the Hokage office building, no less," Sakura added.

"If the Succubus Amulet falls into bad hands, and those hands know what it's capable of," Tsunade continued, "Konoha will be in deep trouble."

After checking the file again, Sasuke asked, "Is there any way to keep from coming under the influence of someone wearing the amulet?"

"If someone has an eye-based kekkei-genkai, they'll be immune to the effects of the amulet so long as said kekkei-genkai is active," Tsunade explained, "Which gives me even more of a reason to give this job to you. Keeping even just the basic Sharingan active will save you from falling under the amulet's influence."

"Neji may be able to help you as well, what with his Byakugan," Sakura added.

After closing the open file, Sasuke said, "Well then, I'll get right on this, Lady Tsunade. I'm going to have to gather some help first, however."

"Understandable," Tsunade remarked, "The more people searching for the Succubus Amulet, the better." After a few minutes, Sasuke had his team ready; Sakura took the liberty of contacting her and Sasuke's friends to see if they were available. Neji was the first who Sakura had contacted, and after explain things to him (saying that his Byakugan would help out loads), he said that he would be right over.

Rock Lee and Tenten were both occupied with other obligations, so they couldn't assist Sasuke this time. Luckily, both Shikamaru and Choji were available to help Sasuke. "Okay guys, you know what we're dealing with here, right?" Sasuke asked.

"Wait, if you and Neji are safe from this crazy magic necklace, what about Choji and me?" Shikamaru asked.

"According to Lady Tsunade, Sasuke and I can break the amulet's influence on you and Choji the same way we can break the influence of a genjitsu on you," Neji explained, "All that Sasuke and I have to do is remember to keep our respective ocular kekkei-genkai active so that we won't fall prey to the amulet's power ourselves."

"Okay guys," Sasuke said, "You all know what the amulet looks like?" After Neji, Shikamaru and Choji all nodded in the affirmative, Sasuke said, "Okay. Choji and I will search the northern half of the village, whereas Neji and Shikamaru will search the southern half. Both pairs will rendezvous at a predetermined location one hour after we break from each other here."

"How about at that bakery that serves those big fancy cinnamon rolls?" Neji suggested.

"A cinnamon roll place?" Sasuke repeated in a questioning tone.

"It's located in approximately the center of the village," Neji explained, "Ko and I once had to pick Lady Hinata up from there when she got sick while having lunch there."

"Now you see why I don't have much of a taste for sweets," Sasuke remarked dryly, "Alright. We'll use that bakery as our rendezvous location. Let's meet up there in an hour." (4) After the boys agreed upon meeting up again in an hour, they took off to begin the search for the Succubus Amulet.

* * *

As Sasuke and company were searching their respective halves of Konoha, Ino was at the local mall's clothes store, looking for a new outfit. With Ino was Sakura (who Tsunade gave the rest of the day off out of gratitude for saving her sorry rear end from some angry folks who wanted to scold her) and Sai; the poor guy was carrying enough shopping bags and boxes so that you couldn't see his face (they were stacked kind of high).

"…Now all I need is a new necklace or bracelet or something of the like," Ino said as she and Sakura walked over to the appropriate display rack, "An accessory to tie the whole outfit together, you know?"

"Maybe a bangle of some kind?" Sakura suggested, "My aunt has a bangle that she's worn every day since before I was born. I believe she told me that it was a gift that my uncle gave her on their first anniversary."

"Oh, you mean that weird bracelet thingy on her left wrist," Ino said, "Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Maybe a bangle will be just the-"

Ino stopped midsentence when her eyes fell upon an accessory in the discount section of the accessory display rack. It was an amulet with an oval-shaped metallic charm that was roughly the size of an adult human male's palm (the ends of the oval were kind of pointed) that had a perfectly oval-shaped polished stone, dark red in color, set in the middle. The string that the charm of the amulet was attached to was beaded with dull, dark brown wooden beads that were roughly the size of small marbles. "This is an…" Ino remarked slowly, "…Interesting necklace." Seeing a store employee walk by, Ino got her attention.

"Excuse me," Ino said to the employee, "But I found this necklace on the display rack's discount section and I'm interested in buying it, but there's no price tag on it. Do you know how much it is?"

Looking at the necklace Ino found, the store employee said, "Hmm…I can't say for sure. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen this particular necklace before." After a minute, the store employee returned to Ino and company with the store manager, a balding middle-aged man who did not have a paunch of any kind.

After he gave the necklace a quick look-over, the store manager said, "Hmm…Why don't you make me an offer for it?"

"Hmm…" Ino said as she took a better look at the necklace, "…How about 800 ryo?"

"Yeah that sounds fair," the store manager replied, "Are you still interested in shopping or have you found all that you wish to buy?"

"I think Sakura and I are done here," Ino answered. Looking over to where Sai was standing, Ino added, "Also, I think my boyfriend is at his limit holding all of me and Sakura's purchases."

"I have a fear of shopping malls, escalators and food courts!" (5) Sai cried out as he was struggling to keep the stacks of boxes he held balanced.

* * *

Later, Ino and Sakura were having lunch together at a coffee shop after they got their respective purchases home; very understandably, Sai needed to go home to recover. Between the time the girls left the mall and came to the coffee shop for lunch, Ino had put on her new necklace. After taking a sip from her soda, Sakura said to Ino, "You know Ino, you really should be nicer to Sai. You know he doesn't like going to overly crowded areas."

"I really wasn't expecting the mall to be that crowded today," Ino said, a hint of remorse in her tone, "I really should apologize to Sai for exposing him to that. Maybe I should get him a little something."

Nodding in agreement, Sakura remarked, "And it's not just exposing Sai to situations that are not comfortable for him. For example, you have him model outfits for you." "That was just the one time!" Ino insisted.

"Seriously, though," Sakura said, "You don't see Shikamaru or Choji treated in such a manner by their respective girlfriends."

"That's because Temari has zero interest in actual fashion and Karui's outfits would be too small for Choji," Ino replied.

"Look, all I'm saying is that you have a tad too much control over Sai," Sakura pointed out, "Maybe next time the two of you do something together, let him take the lead?"

"Like how Hinata's been given free-" Ino said, but was cut off when the waiter that was serving her and Sakura came up.

"Will there be anything else you ladies need today?" the waiter asked.

"Oh no, we're fine, thank you," Ino replied, "In fact, Sakura and I were waiting for you or another waiter to come by so we can pay for our lunch."

"Of course," the waiter replied, "I'll bring the bill right away. We here at the Konoha Cake Café are always happy to be of service to ladies as lovely as you."

As the waiter went to get the bill, Sakura said, "Did the waiter just flirt with you?"

"Oh, he's just being nice," Ino remarked as she gently twiddled the beaded string of her new necklace, "Which reminds me. A lot of guys have been giving me flirtatious looks ever since we left the mall."

"I bet that your dad would have fun punching them all out for looking at you in such a manner," Sakura remarked dryly. (6)

Shrugging, Ino said, "Knowing my dad, he'd probably start with Sai."

Sighing, Sakura replied, "Yeah, that's a valid point."

* * *

After lunch at the cafe, Sakura and Ino were walking along, intending to head over to Ino's place to get the party to celebrate Sasuke's return to Konoha ready. As they walked, they saw Rock Lee and Tenten up ahead. "What do you think Neji and Shikamaru are up to, Lee?" Tenten asked Rock Lee as they got close enough for Sakura and Ino to hear.

"I don't know," Rock Lee replied with a shrug, "Helping to find Hinata's lost pet cat?"

"Hinata doesn't own a cat," Tenten pointed out, "No one in the Hyuga clan is allowed to own any sort of pet, remember?" (7)

"Hey Tenten! Rock Lee!" Sakura called out, getting the attention of her and Ino's friends. When the students of Gai came up to them, Sakura asked, "Are you all ready for the party at Ino's place tonight?"

"Did you girls make arrangements to ensure that Mr. Yamanaka won't give Sai any trouble?" Tenten asked.

"I've already enacted a foolproof to ensure that my dad will be nowhere near the party," Ino replied.

"She told him that there's a beer festival in a small town somewhere in the Land of Fire," Sakura clarified, "In fact, I saw Mr. Yamanaka leave Konoha earlier with some of his friends, my uncle included." (8)

"I still can't believe why your dad would give Sai such a hard time, Ino," Tenten remarked in a sympathetic tone.

"It's a dad thing, Tenten," Rock Lee explained, "Mr. Yamanaka will be immediately untrusting of any boy who's dating Ino. It's something that Sai will have to put up with. But then again, it is well worth it. After all," Suddenly, Rock Lee quickly snatched up Ino's hands, holding them in his own. Looking Ino in the face, Rock Lee said, "Any guy would willingly go to the ends of the earth for a woman as lovely as Ino."

"Wait, what?!" Ino exclaimed, alarmed by Rock Lee's sudden advance.

"Lee, the hell is wrong with you?!" Sakura snapped as she struggled to restrain her fist of death, "You know Ino's dating Sai! How dare you flirt with her!"

"What kind of a man would I be if I did not give credit where it is due?" Rock Lee proclaimed, "And Ino is indeed owed a great deal of credit in this regard!"

"Relax, girls," Tenten said in a dismissive tone, "Lee's just being Lee. It's nothing to worry about. Besides which…" Walking up to Ino, Tenten put her left arm over the Yamanaka girl's shoulders. "…I can see what Lee's getting at," Tenten said, "I have always wanted to know how Ino gets such luster into her hair." Looking Ino in the face, the weapons master said, "Did Neji tell you his secret about caring for his hair?"

"Okay!" Sakura exclaimed, struggling all the more to restrain her fist of death, "You two need to back off right now! Give Ino some-" Sakura stopped short when Ino, holding her arms over her stomach, started to make moaning sounds as she hunched over. "…Ino?" Sakura said in a concerned tone, "Are you okay?"

"Must be something she ate," Tenten suggested, "I'll take her home, get her something to settle her stomach, maybe keep her co-"

"HURAHHHHHHHH!" Ino roared out suddenly, throwing Rock Lee and Tenten to the sides. Alarmed, Sakura leapt back, an alarmed look on her face.

"…Ino?" Sakura said again, her tone sounding more worried.

* * *

Over at the Hokage office building, Tsunade was looking out the window, gazing over the surround area. The Lady Fifth gave a content-sounding sigh; after the Suna-Oto invasion, the attack by Pain, and various other things, Konoha was now totally and completely restored. As Tsunade continued to look over her village, Shizune came walking in. Knocking on the doorframe, Shizune said when Tsunade turned to regard her, "We've just discovered who stole the Succubus amulet and how."

"Excellent," Tsunade said as she turned around to continue looking out the window, "Now we'll get some answers." Walking up to join Tsunade, Shizune looked out the window as well. "Look at it, Shizune," Tsunade began, "Konoha has gone through a lot of rough patches over the years. But even all of that was not enough to bring Konoha down. And now, I can finally say with the utmost confidence that Konoha will never-"

Tsunade stopped short when both she and Shizune saw a giant humanoid slug monster rise up somewhere on their left side of view; at least two-and-a-half stories tall, it was yellow-blonde in color, had a long tongue (that was somewhat forked at the end) that hung out of its mouth, and it was very fat. The instant it achieved its full height, it roared out, and proceeded to move forward, causing damage to any building that was it its path.

"…Of course," Tsunade said in a bemused tone, "Of course a fat, giant slug monster attacks Konoha out of nowhere."

"Should I…should I contact Sasuke and his team?" Shizune asked, "Have them put looking for the Succubus Amulet on hold until the monster is dealt with?"

"They'll most likely do that anyway, assuming they see the damn thing," Tsunade remarked in a grumbling tone.

"Anyone would have to be pretty much dead to not notice the fat, giant slug monster attacking Konoha," Shizune remarked. Turning to regard her assistant, Tsunade just gave Shizune an annoyed, evil glare. "…Sorry," Shizune apologized meekly.

* * *

Out in the village, Sasuke and Choji stopped in the middle of their search when they heard the sounds of buildings being wrecked, citizens screaming while running for their lives, and the roars of a giant monster. As Sasuke and Choji looked around to try and locate the source of the noise, Shikamaru and Neji landed right next to them on the rooftop they were on. "Shikamaru! Neji!" Sasuke said, "Did you just hear that? The hell's going on?!"

"A fat, giant slug monster just came in out of nowhere and is attacking Konoha," Shikamaru explained in a tone that sounded a bit too casual, given the circumstances. (9)

"…Yeah, let's go handle that before continuing trying to locate the Succubus Amulet," Sasuke remarked.

As Sasuke and the others jumped from rooftop to rooftop, Choji asked, "Hey Shikamaru, you said that it was a slug monster, right? Is it one of Lady Tsunade's summoned slug familiars?"

Shaking his head in the negative, Shikamaru replied, "It doesn't look like anything anyone has seen before. Defiantly not something on Lady Tsunade's friend's list."

"Well one would assume that since WHAT IS THAT THING?!" Neji said, stopping midsentence as he saw the fat, giant slug monster, slowly moving forward in the direction it was facing.

"Choji, use you Expansion jitsu," Shikamaru said, "We could use someone on our side who's roughly the same size as that monster who help bring it down."

"No need to tell me twice!" Choji declared, having already cast the Expansion jitsu. Sasuke and Neji watched as they saw their friend grow to the size of most any given building in Konoha; Choji was certainly as tall as the monster that was rampaging.

As the fat, giant slug monster continued its course, it heard someone call out, "Oi, over this way, fatty!" Turing around, the fat, giant slug monster saw Choji (who had shouted at it) walk up, each step causing a very loud rumble. Sasuke was hopping from rooftop to rooftop on Choji's right, whereas Neji was doing the same on Choji's left; Shikamaru was actually standing on Choji's right shoulder, riding his best friend towards their target.

As the four guys made their way towards the fat, giant slug monster, Shikamaru shouted, "Sasuke, now!"

"Fire style: Fireball jitsu!" Sasuke called out as he casted one of his standard techniques, breathing a stream of fire at the monster, hitting it directly. As the monster fell back somewhat from being hit by Sasuke's fire, Neji leapt up into the air, his Byakugan active. Spinning around, Neji used his rotation technique; normally, this technique is used while standing on a solid surface in order to create a dome-like barrier that no attack can get past. However, when Neji used it as he flew at the fat, giant slug monster, it instead created a giant sphere that slammed into the beast. When Sasuke observed this, he was reminded of a technique used by a certain someone that he has yet to run into since returning to Konoha.

After Neji leapt back from the fat, giant slug monster, Choji and Shikamaru finally got up to it. Choji put his hands on the beast's shoulders to hold it in place. "Alright, Choji!" Shikamaru exclaimed, "Now all we have to do is wait for other men from you clan to come by to help us restrain-" Shikamaru was cut off when Sasuke landed on Choji's other shoulder.

"Hey, you guys notice that little spot on the monster's forehead?" Sasuke asked, pointing to the monster's face. Both Shikamaru and Choji, and Neji as well since he heard what Sasuke said, all looked at the monster's forehead. What they saw shocked them.

"It's the Succubus Amulet!" Shikamaru exclaimed in shock. Speaking of shock, Sasuke's left hand became engulfed in blue electricity, its crackling sounding like the chirping of countless birds.

Leaping towards the monster's forehead, Sasuke struck the Succubus Amulet with pinpoint accuracy while shouting, "Chidori! One-Thousand Birds!" When Sasuke struck the amulet with his Chidori, it broke instantly, the red stone on the charm cracking down its length.

As the stone of the amulet's charm gave off a faint glow, the fat, giant slug monster cried out as it started to shrink. When it reached half its original size, it started changing shape as well. Around the time Sasuke, Shikamaru and Neji all got to the ground and Choji shrunk back down to his original size, the slug monster had completely disappeared; to the shock of Sasuke and the others, in the monster's place, laying in a large puddle of yellow slug slime, was Ino. Laying on the ground about a foot from Ino's head was the Succubus Amulet, its red stone still shattered. "Okay then," Sasuke began, "I have several questions that I would really like to get answered."

* * *

About a half hour later, Sasuke and his team were standing in Lady Tsunade's office over at the Hokage office building. They stood before Tsunade's desk, where Tsunade herself was currently seated. Sakura was standing at Tsunade's right side. "…I knew that the Succubus Amulet was too big a risk to Konoha," the Fifth Hokage remarked to herself. To the boys, Tsunade said, "So how is Ino doing?"

"She's still asleep," Shikamaru replied, "But she will be fine. Knowing her, she'll wake up within the hour and get straight to work on setting up that party she has planned."

"It's a good thing that the Succubus Amulet was broken," Tsunade said, "If it was capable of doing something like _that_ , then keeping it around is far too great a risk to Konoha. I've made arrangements to have the Succubus amulet completely broken."

"What I would like to know is how the Succubus Amulet ended up on the discount accessory rack over at the local mall," Sakura said.

"I've got the culprits right here," Shizune's voice called out, getting everyone to turn and see Shizune escorting four young genin into Tsunade's office; there were two boys and two girls. All four of them looked ashamed.

Sasuke recognized the two boys and Konohamaru and Udon, and one of the girls as Moegi. The second girl, however, did not ring any bells for the last Uchiha. However, she possessed the Byakugan, same as Neji. "Hey Neji, you recognize that girl with the Byakugan?" Sasuke asked, whispering to Neji as the four genin were half escorted-half shoved into the office.

"That's Lady Hanabi," Neji whispered back, "She is Lady Hinata's younger sister. I can't really answer why Lady Hanabi's associating with Konohamaru and his friends, however." Sasuke could see why this would be a question; this Hanabi girl must be a member of the Hyuga clan's main branch, given how respectfully Neji (a member of the Hyuga clan's cadet branch) is referring to her.

"These four," Shizune began, "Apparently snuck past everyone else here at the Hokage office building, took the amulet, ran off, and tossed it somewhere."

"Ino found it on the discount rack in a store at the mall," Sakura explained. Shrugging, Sakura added, "At least there's an explanation as to what that necklace was and how it got there. It also explains why it wasn't marked with a price tag."

"What were you four thinking?" Tsunade snapped at Konohamaru and his friends, "Because of you four, Ino turned into a fat, giant slug monster and nearly leveled Konoha!"

"To be fair Lady Tsunade, none of us could have predicted that Ino would turn into a fat, giant slug monster and nearly level Konoha," Sasuke stated, "Personally, I feel that the most that they should be scolded for is stealing the amulet."

Leaning back in her chair again, Tsunade said, "I still want to know what they were thinking."

"We were trying to get Big Bro's attention!" Konohamaru said loudly, getting the attention of the older people in the room. "…Big Bro's been pretty angry for a while now," Konohamaru said in a worried tone, "We don't know why, though. He's regarded as a great, village-wide hero ever since he and everyone else came back from the fourth great ninja war."

"He also rose through the ranks and is now a jonin," Udon added, "That's more than what most shinobi ever expect."

"We figured that Big Bro would figure out what we did, and he would come find us, and we can ask him why he's been so angry lately, and we can help him since we're worried about him" Moegi continued, "We couldn't think of any other way to get ahold of Big Bro!"

"Well that explains the three of you," Tsunade said. Facing Hanabi, Tsunade said, "Now what about you?"

"Udon asked me to help him and I said yes," Hanabi replied.

Smacking his forehead, Neji said, "That's right, now I remember!" Pointing to his younger cousin, Neji said, "That Udon kid is your boyfriend that you've been talking about, isn't he?"

Nodding in the affirmative, Hanabi said, "Yes he is."

"Hanabi also said something about figuring that if our plan could get ahold of Big Bro," Konohamaru continued, "That it might also get her older sister's attention if she lent us a hand."

Pinching the space between his eyes, Neji gave a mildly frustrated sigh before saying, "I do NOT want to have to be the one to explain this whole mess to Lord Hiashi."

"I will be the one to explain things to their respective parents," Tsunade said, "Or respective legal guardians, in the cases of Moegi and Konohamaru." As the four genin all looked panicked, Tsunade said, "I'm sure that they'll be very interested in learning how their charges stole something."

"Which turned one of Big Bro's friends into a fat, giant slug monster that nearly leveled the entire village!" Udon exclaimed.

Closing her eyes, Tsunade replied, "Really? As far as I know, the only thing that the four of you are guilty of is stealing something in a half-baked plan to get attention from your older brother figure. Or older sister, in one case."

Konohamaru and his friends all sighed in relief as Shizune escorted them out of Tsunade's office. Turning to regard the Hokage, Sasuke said, "Thanks for taking it easy on them."

"You did raise a valid point about no one being able to predict the whole mess concerning Ino turning into a fat, giant slug monster," Tsunade remarked, "You'd make a great Hokage's advisor, Sasuke." Looking at the report on her desk, Tsunade said, "Well then Sasuke, not only have you've done your work for the day, but you also led the main effort that saved Konoha from being destroyed. I say that's worth a party."

"Which reminds me," Sakura said. Turning to face Sasuke and the others, Sakura said, "We should check up on Ino to see how she's doing. Knowing her, she'll want to go through with her plan for the party to celebrate Sasuke's return to Konoha. However, I'm not so sure if she'll be in any condition to do so."

With Sakura taking the lead, Sasuke and his friends all left Tsunade's office to go see Ino. To their surprise, they ran into Ino on the first floor of the Hokage office building. "Hey, I just saw miss Shizune walk by while escorting Hinata's little sister and those three brats who hero-worship Naruto," Ino said when she met up with Sasuke and company, "What's up with that?"

"Lady Hanabi and her friends will most likely be grounded, but that's beside the point," Neji replied, "How are you feeling, Ino?"

Putting her right hand to the side of her head, Ino said, "My head felt like I ate a lot of ice cream way too fast when I woke up a short while ago. But that feeling went away just as fast as an actual ice cream headache would."

"Maybe you should rest for the rest of the day, Ino," Sakura suggested.

"Yeah, screw that noise," Ino replied, "I've got a party to throw, Sakura."

"I'm assuming everyone's invited?" Sakura asked.

"Totally," Ino said, "I also want to apologize to Rock Lee and Tenten. I was told that the necklace I got at the mall today was the reason why they both tried to flirt with me."

"Wait, what?!" Neji exclaimed.

"Speaking of," Ino continued as she looked down to where the charm of her necklace would have been, "Does anybody know what happened to my necklace?"

"Lady Tsunade ordered it to be destroyed," Shikamaru replied casually.

Looking three parts shocked and seven parts confused, Ino asked, "Why?!"

"We can't say or else it will be our collective rear ends next," Shikamaru replied, "But anywho, about that party..."

"Oh, right!" Ino remarked, perking right up instantly, "Sai's helping Tenten and Rock Lee finish setting everything up at my place. The whole thing will be ready by the time we get there."

"Yeah, a party might be just the thing I need to unwind after what the guys and I have done today," Sasuke said as he and the others left to go over to Ino's place for the party.

END, GUESS WHO'S BACK CHAPTER FOUR

Author's Notes:

(1) He just assumed that Shikamaru or Choji told her.

(2) As neither Shikaku or Choza have a daughter, they know not of Inoichi's plight.

(3) The same place where Inoichi's friend with pink hair got a potato launcher and six dozen potatoes.

(4) Cinnamon Rolls are one of Hinata's favorite food items. Also, Sasuke has stated that he personally isn't all that fond of sweets.

(5) This is Sai's only line in this chapter.

(6) Never let it be said that Inoichi doesn't look out for his little princess.

(7) A rule in the Hyuga clan that would not be repealed for quite some time.

(8) All of his friends to be exact.

(9) At this point, Konoha being attacked is more of annoyance than anything else.

It was an awesome party, by the way. Everyone was there aside from their friends who Sasuke had not yet earned the support of. But that's for another time.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.

Guess who's back?

Chapter five: The Aburame clan's liquid gold

Sasuke Uchiha was having a modest breakfast in his government-provided apartment in the village of Konohagakure one morning roughly a week after he returned to the village to begin work on earning his redemption. He had just toweled off and gotten dressed after having finished his morning shower; his hair was still somewhat damp, but that will resolve itself in an hour or so. Sasuke let out a yawn as he sat his glass of orange juice down; the previous night, Sasuke and his friends were at a party held by Ino Yamanaka.

Sasuke himself was a guest of honor, as the party was being thrown to celebrate his return to Konoha. The hostess herself, Ino, was also there, despite having been turned into a fat, giant slug monster then returned to normal just a few hours previous. (1) Sakura Haruno, one of Sasuke's old teammates who Ino regarded as her closest friend, was also at the party, as was Ino's boyfriend Sai, who didn't talk much (Sasuke thought that the poor dude looked shell-shocked, albeit mildly). The other party guests that were there included their friends Tenten, Rock Lee, Neji Hyuga, Shikamaru Nara and Choji Akimichi. Yes, everyone was there and had a good time.

"…Wait, I don't think everyone was there," Sasuke said aloud to himself as he contemplated the previous night's events. Putting more thought into it, Sasuke realized that there were a few of their number missing from the festivities of the previous night; the most glaringly obvious person that was missing was Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke's and Sakura's teammate on Team Kakashi. Also, the students from Team Kurenai were missing as well; Kiba Inuzuka (who would most likely have brought his ninja dog Akamaru), Neji Hyuga's cousin what's her name, and-

Sasuke was brought out of his thoughts when he heard someone knocking at his front door. As this had happened two mornings in a row (three if you count today), Sasuke felt like it would be something of a recurring element in his mornings after his return to Konoha; therefore, Sasuke went out of his way to get some snacks to provide for his early morning guests (some store-bought blueberry muffins) that were in a bowl on Sasuke's table (he had yet to grab one of the muffins for himself). Getting up from the table, Sasuke walked to his front door to greet his early morning visitor; to his surprise, it was Shino Aburame; Shino wore an outfit similar to his casual outfit that he wore in his mid-teens, the only difference is that the collar of his shirt doesn't cover his face any.

Before either Sasuke or Shino said anything, the silent Aburame produced from a side pocket on his hooded coat a small jar (2) containing a golden-colored goo that Sasuke instantly thought to be honey. Offering the jar to Sasuke, Shino said, "This is honey produced by the bees that my clan keeps. I know you are not all that fond of sweet stuff, but it is a custom in the Aburame clan for us to gift our friends with a jar of this honey when said friend is making sincere efforts to better themselves." As Sasuke accepted the jar of honey, Shino said, "Glad to have you back in Konoha, Sasuke."

Surprised by this seemingly random gesture of kindness, Sasuke said, "Umm…thanks."

"I've heard from Shikamaru and the others that you've been helping Konoha out quite a lot," Shino went on, "And on one occasion saving the village in the process. I bet that the older folks of Konoha who consider 'Uchiha' and 'village-hero' to be total opposites had received quite an awakening after stories of what you've done since returning to Konoha have spread through the village like a wildfire."

"Yeah," Sasuke remarked, "There are older people here in the village who aren't all that fond of me exclusively because I'm an Uchiha."

"Well anyway, I just wanted to stop by, drop off the jar of honey as per Aburame clan custom, and shoot the breeze a bit before taking my leave," Shino said, "It's been great talking to you. Perhaps we can catch each other later?"

With a small but sincere smile, Sasuke replied, "Yeah. That would be nice." After Shino took his leave, Sasuke closed the door and walked back to his dining table and, sitting the small jar of honey somewhere in the center, his small smile grew somewhat. When Sasuke and his friends all attended the academy, Shino was the only other student that Sasuke had any respect for; the other boys were all immature and/or dumb, and all of the girls were annoying, what with all of them (save for that one girl that Sasuke once caught stalking Naruto, of all people) constantly crushing on him.

Looking at the basket of muffins he went through the trouble of getting the next time he got a visitor, Sasuke realized that he had forgotten to offer one to Shino. " _Oh well_ , _maybe next time_ ," Sasuke thought as he reached for a muffin. As a side-thought, Sasuke decided to put some of the Aburame clan honey on the muffin (about half a spoon's worth). After taking a bite, Sasuke looked at the muffin. Although his expression did not show how he felt about the flavor of the honey, what the last Uchiha said aloud conveyed his feelings well enough.

"…Damn, that's good."

* * *

After finishing breakfast, Sasuke made his way to the Hokage office building, to report to Lady Tsunade for his job for the day. When he entered Lady Tsunade's office on the second floor, he saw Tsunade drinking from a mug of tea (Sasuke could tell it was tea because he could smell it from where he was standing). Sitting on the one side of Tsunade's desk was something that got his attention; it was a jar of honey of around the same size as the jar of honey that Shino had just given him. The only difference was the amount of honey remaining in each jar; whereas Sasuke had only used about half a spoon's worth of honey so far, Tsunade's jar of honey was a bit more than half-empty.

"…Did Shino bring you a jar of his clan's honey too?" Sasuke said when he stepped forward a few feet, getting the Hokage's attention.

"Oh, Sasuke," Tsunade greeted as she sat her mug of tea down. Looking at her 'freelance agent' (3), Tsunade said, "You have some Aburame clan honey too?"

"Shino brought me a jar earlier," Sasuke explained, "He said something about a clan custom that I believe is done to show support for one who is actively trying to better themselves."

"How much of it do you have left?" Tsunade asked.

"I only used, like, half a spoon's worth so far," Sasuke replied with a shrug, "Why do you ask?"

"You just consumed about twenty-five hundred ryo's worth of honey," Tsunade pointed out.

"Yeah, I'm usually not much of a person for sweet stuff, but that honey is pretty wait a minute what did you just say?" Sasuke replied.

Shifting in her chair a bit, Tsunade said, "Well, it's not that valuable YET. But if the reports I've been hearing are true, then the production of Aburame clan honey may be reduced to a snail's pace."

"Why? What's going on?" Sasuke asked.

"I can explain that," a voice called out, getting Sasuke and Tsunade to look to the open doorway of Tsunade's office and see Sakura Haruno walk in.

"Sasuke," Sakura began, "You are familiar with the fact that the Aburame clan cares for and uses insects, right?"

Nodding in the affirmative, Sasuke replied, "I thought that they only used those beetles of theirs. The first time I ever heard of the Aburame clan handling bees as well was this morning, when Shino came by my place earlier and gave me a jar of honey that was produced by his clan's bees."

"He said that he used roughly half a spoon's worth, so his jar is practically full," Tsunade said to her student. Leaning forward a bit, Tsunade said so Sasuke, "If I were you, I wouldn't use anymore of the Aburame clan honey you still have."

"I know that some folks like the taste of honey, but is it really that big of a deal?" Sasuke asked.

"Chances are that the crisis that the Aburame clan is currently facing will come to pass," Tsunade explained, "If it does, the amount of Aburame clan honey you have can easily fetch you well over a million ryo." Both Sasuke and Sakura took a step back out of shock.

"Seriously?!" Sasuke exclaimed, wide-eyed with shock, "I can finally afford to do some shopping for necessities with money like that!" (4)

"If you sell it to the right buyer, you may get one-and-a-half to two million ryo," Tsunade replied.

Shaking his head in disbelief, Sasuke said, "Alright, now I really want to know what's causing all of this alarm over honey. What, are the bees that Shino's clan keeps in danger of dying out or something?"

"Yes, they are," Sakura replied, "To make matters worse, the Aburame clan has no idea what's happening to their bees and why."

"Which is where you come in, Sasuke," Tsunade continued. With both Sasuke's and Sakura's focus on her, Tsunade continued, "The Aburame clan has officially requested Konoha government assistance for investigating the reason why their bees are dying out." Gesturing to the half-empty jar of honey on her desk, Tsunade said, "They sent me this as a gift to entice me to grant their request for assistance."

"Wow," Sasuke remarked, "Their bees must really be in danger if they were only able to give you a half-full jar."

"Uhh, Sasuke," Sakura said when she leaned closer to Sasuke to whisper to him, "That jar was full about five minutes ago, when Shino's mother came by to deliver it to Lady Tsunade."

"…Oh," Sasuke whispered back in a tone of realization.

"I'm not quite sure what the two of you are whispering about, but I do need Sasuke to head on over to the Aburame clan compound to check into the case of the clan's bees dying out," Tsunade said.

"I'm on it," Sasuke replied with a casual salute to the Hokage.

* * *

It took Sasuke roughly ten minutes to get from the Hokage office building to the Aburame clan compound, but that was mostly due to a mix of calling all of his friends that he had gained the trust of to see which of them can help him with this job (Sasuke ended up getting Shikamaru, Choji and Ino) and not knowing where the Aburame clan compound was located (Choji knew, as his clan is the biggest local buyer of Aburame clan honey). When they got there, they were greeted by an Aburame clan chunnin-ranked kunoichi who Choji identified as Shino's mother.

"I'm glad to see you as well, Choji," Shino's mother greeted as she introduced herself to Sasuke and the others.

"Ma'am, my friends and I came here primarily because your clan requested help from Konoha's government with investigating why your clan's bees are dying out," Sasuke said.

"Oh, is THAT why you're here?" Shino's mother said in a tone of honest interest mixed with mild surprise, "I knew that my husband and the other men of our clan made that request, but I was honestly expecting experienced adult ninjas at the jonin rank to be sent to help us, not four chunnin the same age as my son." Putting her hands on her hips, Shino's mother went on to say, "But then again, there are a lot of prodigies in my son's generation, including my son himself. So, I shouldn't be so surprised."

"That, and since my friends and I all know you guys personally, we'll put in the extra effort to help," Shikamaru pointed out, "As opposed to a standard team of jonin sent by Konoha government, most if not all of them being unlikely to personally know any members of your clan."

Nodding in agreement, Shino's mother said, "That is a good point."

"Mrs. Aburame," Sasuke began, "Can you show us where your clan keeps its bees?"

Gesturing for Sasuke and company to follow her, Mrs. Aburame led them over to another area of the Aburame clan compound while saying, "Sure, follow me."

* * *

In a large fenced-in area of open field on Aburame clan property, Mrs. Aburame gestured out to the field, allowing Sasuke and company to see numerous large white boxes. "Those are the beehives?" Ino asked, a confused look on her face.

"Those are manmade beehives, Ino," Choji explained, "They're built for the purpose of producing honey on a mass scale."

"Your friend's right, young lady," Mrs. Aburame explained.

"I'm kind of want to take a closer look at the beehives, to get a feel for this case," Sasuke said, "I don't suppose you can provide my friends and I with beekeeper suits so we can approach without getting stung, can you?"

"The Aburame clan has beekeeper suits for that purpose, yes," Mrs. Aburame replied in a kind tone as she gestured for Sasuke and company to follow her back into the building they just walked through to get to the beehive fields. When they walked back out, Sasuke and company were all wearing beekeeper suits. Only Mrs. Aburame wasn't wearing one. When Ino asked about this, Mrs. Aburame explained, "As a member of the Aburame clan, I do not require a beekeeper suit to head out into the beehive fields. The bees we use to make our clan's honey are specially bred to behave in a manner similar to our clan's destruction beetles. The bees can tell an Aburame clan member from someone who is not of our clan by sensing our chakra."

"And if they recognize you as an Aburame, the don't sting you," Shino's voice called out, getting everyone to turn and see him walk out to join them.

"I believe that everyone in our class back at the academy took a fieldtrip here to the beehive fields," Sasuke said as he finally started to clearly remember the Aburame clan's history with beekeeping, "I was out sick that day, wasn't I?"

"Yeah, back then Kiba and I did a pretty childish and dickish thing when this one girl got stung by a bee and had an allergic reaction as a result," Shikamaru said.

Turning to regard Shikamaru, Sasuke asked, "What did you two do?"

"They laughed at Sakura," Ino replied, "That's what they did."

"Wait, it was Sakura?" Sasuke asked, mildly shocked.

As Ino nodded in the affirmative, Shikamaru pointed out, "Keep in mind that this was back when we were all kids in the academy, and Kiba, Choji, Naruto and I had the combined maturity and intelligence of a puppy relieving itself on someone's living room carpet." (5)

"Kiba got Akamaru from his folks a few days prior to the field trip, by the way," Shino added as a side comment.

"Well that's a tale for another time," Sasuke stated, "Right now, we've got some investigating to do. Now that everyone here who isn't an Aburame clan member is properly outfitted with the beekeeper suits, let's head into the beehive fields to try and find some clues as to why the bees are dying out." With Shino and Mrs. Aburame leading the way, Sasuke and company walked over to the closest man-made beehive. When they got within five feet of the hive, Sasuke and the others saw a lot of dead bees lying on the ground.

"Eww," Ino uttered as she shuddered in mild disgust, "This is nasty."

"It's a bunch of dead bugs, Ino," Shikamaru replied in a monotone, "Of course it will be nasty." Seeing the number of dead bees laying on the ground around the beehive they walked up to, Mrs. Aburame lightly tapped the side of the beehive with the knuckles on her right hand.

After putting an ear to the hive for about a second, Mrs. Aburame pulled away and said, "There are still some bees in this hive, but from the sounds of things it may be close to dying out altogether."

Activating his Sharingan, Sasuke muttered, "I really wish Neji was available. It would be nice to have someone with the Byakugan here to back me up."

"What are you doing, Sasuke?" Choji as he turned to regard the last Uchiha.

"I'm looking for any odd chakra that may be in the area," Sasuke explained, "There's a possibility that there may be shinobi hostile to the Aburame clan behind the bees dying out."

"That's a fair assumption, especially since Aburame clan bees are very resistant to most traditional methods of eliminating bugs on a mass scale," Shino remarked, "The only traditional methods of killing mass number of bugs that our bees are not resistant to are extreme temperatures and fire."

Nodding in agreement with Shino, Shikamaru said, "Although Autumn's just started, it's not yet cold enough to warrant concern for the safety of the remaining bees in regards to temperature. As for the fire option…" Taking a quick look around, Shikamaru said, "…Yeah, I don't think there is any evidence here suggesting someone went wild with fire element jitsu." (6) As he looked around with his Sharingan, Sasuke saw faint traces of chakra surrounding the beehives; the hues of color given off by the chakra were faint and of a pale coloration, but Sasuke could see them.

"Hey Shino, Mrs. Aburame, I have some questions," Sasuke said.

"What is it?" Mrs. Aburame replied.

"You said that your clan's bees don't sting your clan members because they recognize their chakra, right?" Sasuke began, "Can I assume that this means that they also feed on chakra as well? Sort of like your destruction beetles."

"Technically yes, but it's to a far lesser degree than our beetles," Shino explained, "Our clan's bees only feed on chakra just enough to recognize whether or not a person belongs to the Aburame clan. If the bees tried to go for any more than that, they'd overload and die. Why do you ask?"

"My Sharingan is showing me that some of your beehives have cloaks of chakra surrounding them," Sasuke explained, "The chakra is pale, but it's far more than what a hive of that size full of bees that feed on chakra should be able to emit."

"What?" Mrs. Aburame said, taking a step back in shock.

Turning to face Shino's mother, Sasuke said, "I don't suppose it's possible to take a look inside one of the hives, is it?"

"Actually yes, it is," Mrs. Aburame replied, recovering a bit from her shock.

Walking up to the closest hive, Mrs. Aburame grabbed ahold of a handle and pulled, drawing out a drawer in the hive. When it was pulled out, Sasuke and the others saw the honeycomb attached to the drawer; when the drawer was pulled open, a few bees flew up. Looking down on the honeycomb, Sasuke and the others saw, to their shock, a lot of dead bees. Sasuke didn't have the time to count all of them, but there must have been somewhere between fifty and seventy-five. Maybe even one hundred.

Looking to Shino and Shino's mother, Sasuke said, "Yeah. I think what Shino said about 'chakra overload' might be the cause of all of the bees dying out."

"That should not be possible," Shino replied, "Our clan's bees never feed on chakra to that extent. Not on their own, at least."

Nodding in agreement with Shino, Sasuke replied, "Which is why I'm guessing someone might somehow be force-feeding chakra to your clan's bees to the point of chakra overload."

"Why though?" Mrs. Aburame asked, "Aburame clan honey is one of the most popular exported commodities that's made here in Konoha."

"It's also commonly used in baking here in Konoha," Ino explained, "Due to being a naturally sweet and flavorful sweetening agent. It's also commonly used to sweeten tea. My mom pretty much can't have tea without having to sweeten it first with Aburame clan honey."

"That's quite true," Mrs. Aburame replied, "In fact Ino, your father once came by here at around two in the morning asking if he can buy a thing of our clan's honey, just because your mother woke up and felt like having some tea."

Sighing in a bemused tone, Ino said, "Yeah, that sounds like my dad, alright."

"I'm going to assume that due to its popularity here in Konoha, no one from here is responsible," Sasuke stated, "Someone doing something to reduce the production of such a popular local commodity, especially one that they're most likely to enjoy a lot, would be pretty crazy. I'm also going to eliminate the Aburame clan themselves as suspects."

"Why would anyone ever even suspect that someone from the Aburame clan is responsible for the bees dying out in the first place?" Ino asked.

"You never know if there's some less than morally upright individual in the Aburame clan who'd have no qualms with killing off a few bees if it meant getting loads more money per jar of Aburame clan honey," Shino replied casually, surprising the students of Team Asuma, "Sasuke's completely in the right for bringing up the possibility."

"But Sasuke said that he's discounting you and your clan as suspects," Choji pointed out to Shino.

"That's because I can't really picture Aburame clan members intentionally killing any of their insects just to make a little extra on the side," Sasuke replied, "Shino and his clan care for their insects just as much as the Inuzuka clan cares for their dogs."

"So, we can safely assume that no one from Konoha is responsible," Shikamaru said, "…How about someone from outside of Konoha?"

"Like Karui?" Mrs. Aburame suggested.

" _Besides_ Karui," Shikamaru said in an exasperated tone, "Seriously, you guys. Karui is a good person. Hell, Temari is more likely to be the culprit behind the bees dying off than Karui. That's how good a person Karui is."

"You have an excellent point, Shikamaru," Sasuke said, "But Shino's mother may be onto an idea here."

"…What do you mean?" Choji asked, his eyes narrowing somewhat in suspicion.

"I need to clarify a thing or two first," Sasuke replied. To Shino's mother, Sasuke said, "On a scale of one to ten, if the worries concerning the production of your clan's honey do come to pass, how much of an impact would it have on your clan's income?"

"A seven at the very least," Mrs. Aburame replied instantly, "In fact, the income that my clan makes from selling its honey is part of the reason why we're one of Konoha's four noble clans."

"And if one of the noble clans is weakened in any way, it may lead to the village as a whole being weakened," Sasuke remarked.

"Ninja from the Land of Lightning, aside from Karui of course, are not behaving themselves as much as the rest of the ninja world would like them to," Shikamaru pointed out to Choji, "Keep in mind that it was a ninja from the Land of Lightning who tried to steal your clan's cookbook."

"It may not even be Kumo ninja behind this," Sasuke remarked, "Maybe it's someone from Kiri or Iwa or maybe even Suna."

Scoffing, Choji said, "Like hell anyone from Suna is responsible. Sunagakure, in addition to being Konoha's friend and ally, is the single biggest foreign consumer of Aburame clan honey, and they have to pay more per jar due to exporting fees and the like. No one from Suna would never intentionally do anything that would cause the price per jar of Aburame clan honey to go up a lot."

"Not to mention the fact that if someone from Suna _were_ responsible, and Gaara found out about it, he'd personally punish the culprit," Ino said, "Naruto once mentioned that Gaara is just as fond of Aburame clan honey as my mother. Gaara likes to sweeten his tea with it, same as my mother."

"So, it's unlikely that it's someone from Suna, then," Sasuke said as he held a hand to his chin, giving himself the appearance of being deep in thought.

"So, if it's not someone from Konoha or Suna," Choji began, "Then who could it be? Someone from Kiri, or someone from Iwa? I hope like hell it's not someone from-"

Choji was cut off when everyone heard one of the manmade beehives fall over, followed by the sound of a (small) swarm of bees flying out angrily, followed by the sounds of some people shouting in fear/surprise/pain, followed by the sound of someone using a fire-style jitsu.

As the sounds of people crying out in relief were heard, Mrs. Aburame said, "It came from over there! Let's go!" After following Shino's mother for a bit, Sasuke and company came upon the sight of four or so Kumo ninja standing over a knocked over beehive, with countless bees lying dead on the ground, along with a few small flames scattered within the immediate area of the fallen beehive.

"The hell are Kumo ninja doing here within Konoha?!" Sasuke snapped, pointing dramatically at the Kumo ninja.

The first Kumo ninja, a dark-skinned male with white-blonde cornrows, was the first to speak up. "We're getting revenge on Konoha for taking what rightfully belongs to Kumogakure," the first Kumo ninja replied, "It helps that screwing with the bug clan will put a slight damp on Konoha's economy."

"Also," said a second male Kumo ninja, this one with very fair skin and scruffy white-blonde hair that reached his collarbone, "We're looking for that traitor who fled from Kumo so we can kill her."

"Oh, I know you did not just say you're planning to kill Karui!" Choji exclaimed, using his clan's special technique to make his right arm grow bigger so he can swing a supersized fist at the Kumo ninja.

The Kumo ninja all jumped up into the air, allowing them to avoid Choji's attack rather handily. However, while they were up in the air, they would have great difficulty avoiding ranged attacks; taking advantage of this, Sasuke fired a Fireball jitsu at the four Kumo ninja, hitting the third and fourth Kumo ninjas, both of which looked very similar to each other (Sasuke thought that they must have been twins).

When the two Kumo ninja that Sasuke's fireball struck fell on the ground, the two that Sasuke did not landed hit landed on their feet, their eyes widening with shock at the sight of their comrades being engulfed in flames. Suddenly, the second Kumo ninja turned to regard the first and began attacking him.

"The hell is wrong with you, man?!" the first Kumo ninja exclaimed as he grabbed the wrists of the second Kumo ninja.

"I have no clue, dude!" the second Kumo ninja yelled, a strong hint of fear in his voice.

"Well I do!" Ino's voice called out, getting both Kumo ninja to turn to face her; they saw that Ino had her hands together, forming a hand sign. "This is a little trick that I learned from my dad," Ino said to the Kumo ninja, "I don't suppose either of you has ever heard of Konoha's Yamanaka clan, have you?"

"Ah hell, she's one of those ninjas that can screw with people's brains!" the first Kumo ninja exclaimed.

"Don't worry," the third Kumo ninja said as he and the fourth Kumo ninja got up, "The fires died out, so my brother and I can help with How come I can't move at all?"

"That would be me," Shikamaru said, turning his head so that the third and fourth Kumo ninja could see him; to their shock, Shikamaru's shadow was stretched out and attached to their respective shadows. Smirking as he saw the looks on the Kumo ninjas' faces, Shikamaru said, "Yeah, the Nara clan has just as much of an issue with others attacking Konoha as the Yamanaka clan."

"Choji, you think you can grab ahold of the two Kumo ninja that Ino has fighting each other?" Sasuke asked.

"Way ahead of you," Choji replied as both of his arms, enlarged by the Akimichi clan's special technique, reached forward and grabbed the two Kumo ninja that weren't ensnared by Shikamaru's Shadow Possession technique. Seeing the four Kumo ninja subdued, Sasuke turned to face Shino and Mrs. Aburame.

"I need one of you to go call for some Konoha ninja to come by and help us bring these four bozos in while the other one stays here to help me and the others keep them subdued," Sasuke said.

"I'll go call for help," Shino's mother replied, "Shino, you stay here and help your friends keep the Kumo ninja occupied."

"Yes mom," Shino said, nodding once in a sign of obedience. After Shino's mother dashed off to call for help, Shino walked up to Sasuke and looked at the captured Kumo ninja. "Well I'm glad that the nightmare that my clan was potentially facing won't come to pass," Shino remarked.

"Yeah, I'm glad that your clan's beehives are saved," Sasuke remarked, "The honey you guys produce is pretty damn good."

"Huh," Shikamaru remarked, "And here I thought that Sasuke didn't like sweet stuff."

"There's a first time for everything," the last Uchiha remarked, drawing a bit of laughter from his friends.

* * *

Later that day, Sasuke and the students of Team Asuma stood in front of Lady Tsunade's desk in her office over at the Hokage office building. As per usual, Tsunade herself was seated at her desk; Sakura stood at Tsunade's right side. Shino was also there, having delivered another jar of his clan's honey to Tsunade as thanks from the Aburame clan for the assistance that Konoha's government gave them. "…Wow," Tsunade remarked after Sasuke gave her his report, "Those Kumo ninja were pretty ballsy to come into Konoha. What we'd like to know is how they were able to get through the barrier without setting off any alarms." (7)

"Actually, Shizune and I were told that the Kumo ninja didn't have to bother with that," Sakura said, "They found four Konoha ninja, killed them, assumed their appearances with the transformation jitsu, and just walked through the front entry gate of the village."

"…I thought that the people who managed the barrier fixed the glitch that allowed hostile ninja to successfully pull off stunts like that," Tsunade remarked.

"The barrier team got right onto it the moment they were told how the Kumo ninja got into Konoha," Sakura remarked.

Sighing, Tsunade said as she leaned back in her chair, "I'm going to have to visit the families of the slain Konoha ninja to give them my condolences then." To Sasuke and his team, Tsunade said, "You mentioned that the Kumo ninja trying to put a dampener on honey production was only part of the reason that they snuck into Konoha. What was the other reason?"

"They mentioned something about Konoha taking something that rightfully belongs to Kumo," Sasuke replied, "I have no idea what, though."

"They're pissy because Konoha is currently the overall strongest of the five great villages," a familiar voice called out, "A distinction that, for the longest time, used to belong to Kumo." Everyone turned to face the direction the talking came from, which was the open doorway leading into Tsunade's office. As such, they saw Karui walking in; she was carrying a wrapped bento lunch in her good arm.

After handing the wrapped bento to Choji, Karui said to the others, "Kumo has gotten so used to being top dog that seeing someone steal their thunder rubs them the wrong way. Hence why they have taken to harassing Konoha when they aren't busy giving Suna a big middle finger."

"I can't believe Kumo would try and do something so horrible over something so petty," Ino remarked.

Putting her good hand on her hip, Karui replied, "Why else do you think my friends and I tried to flee Kumo when we first saw the signs?"

"You have a good eye for things, Karui," Tsunade remarked. Standing up from her desk, Tsunade said as she faced Sasuke, "Well then, I'd say that this mission was a rousing success. Not only will the production of Aburame clan honey be able to resume as normal, but the perpetrators behind the mess have been caught and brought in for questioning. Bravo, Sasuke. Well done."

Nodding once in acknowledgement, Sasuke replied, "Thank you, Lady Tsunade."

"Now that we're done here, let's grab Neji and the others and head out to celebrate!" Ino said.

"Can you and your friends put a hold on that for a bit, sweetie?" a familiar voice called out, getting everyone to turn to face the direction the voice came from; when they did, they saw Inoichi Yamanaka walk into Tsunade's office.

"Dad?! What are you doing here?!" Ino asked.

"I heard that your friend Shino's clan was down to their last available jar of honey," Inoichi explained to his daughter as he pulled a wallet out, "I was prepared to make an offer for it, since the jar that your mother has is just about empty."

"Mr. Yamanaka," Shino replied, "As generous as I'm sure your offer will be, there's no need to worry. The crisis that my clan was facing was averted, so production of our honey will resume as normal. If you can wait a bit, you can buy a jar at normal price."

"Well thank goodness for that," Inoichi replied as he put his wallet away. After he had done so, Inoichi said, "So where are you kids headed off to, anyway?"

"We were going to go get Neji, Rock Lee and Tenten so we can all head out to celebrate Sasuke's latest success in helping Konoha," Shikamaru explained.

"I recommend the local barbecue grill," Inoichi suggested, "Don't order anything with honey in it, though. The barbecue grill uses Aburame clan honey, and due to recent events…"

"I'll let them know that they no longer have to worry about that," Shino replied.

"Well that's good, then," Inoichi said as he turned to leave, "You kids have fun, alright?"

After Inoichi was gone and out of earshot, Ino sighed and said, "My dad just has to show up at the most random times to embarrass me, doesn't he?"

"Isn't that what dads are for, Ino?" Sakura remarked, drawing some chuckling out of her Yamanaka friend.

END, GUESS WHO'S BACK CHAPTER FIVE

Author's Notes:

(1) It makes sense in context. Trust me.

(2) It's roughly half the size of the average mason jar.

(3) Tsunade had originally wanted to use the term 'chore monkey'. However, after Shizune pointed out how offensive this term would be, Tsunade quickly changed her mind, using the term that Sakura had come up with instead.

(4) It was then that Tsunade remembered that she still had to set up some sort of an allowance system for Sasuke.

(5) Choji didn't find it funny because he had a grandaunt who had a bee sting allergy, and Naruto didn't find it funny because this was back when he still had a crush on Sakura.

(6) You can't really blame someone if they want to kill bees with fire.

(7) Remember the barrier that was mentioned during the arc where Pain attacked Konoha? Yeah, that.

Congratulations, Sasuke! You can now add Shino to your party! With all joking aside, this finishes up chapter five. Chapter six will bring up something that happened a few chapters previous. It will also feature a character that I've taken a bigger interest in recently.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.

Guess who's back?

Chapter six: Cawing hawk, snarling dog

It was a fine enough morning one day in the village of Konohagakure. Sasuke Uchiha, having returned to his home village after disappearing for two years following the end of the fourth great ninja war, had some time to kill before he had to report to Lady Tsunade, the fifth (and current) Hokage, for whatever work he had for today, in part of his quest for redemption for what he had done in the past.

With said time on his hands, Sasuke decided to check out a new coffee shop in Konoha; it was one of those well-marketed name-brand deals. Both Ino Yamanaka and Sakura Haruno, friends of Sasuke's, had nothing but praise for this coffee shop. Speaking of Sakura, she was in the coffee shop, getting a to-go cup, when Sasuke walked in. "Oh, Sakura," Sasuke greeted when he saw his old teammate, "Didn't expect to see you here."

"Sasuke!" Sakura remarked in surprise, turning around to see the last Uchiha when she heard him speak up, "What are you doing here?"

"Well after hearing all of the praise that you and Ino have for this place, I figured that I should probably give it a chance," Sasuke explained.

"Well I have some time to kill before I have to report to Lady Tsunade," Sakura began, "Do you want to hang here for a bit?"

Shrugging, Sasuke said, "Ehh, why not?"

The two chunnin-ranked ninjas proceeded to find a booth in the coffee shop to sit in so they can shoot the breeze before heading in to take care of their respective jobs. As they talked, they overheard the voices of two men speaking (Sasuke didn't recognize either voice). "Can you believe it, Shibi?" the first voice said, "What in the hell were those three kunoichi thinking?"

"I agree that Tsume's clan has a lot to answer for, Hiashi," the second voice, identified as Shibi, replied, "Uhh, excuse me miss, can I get a dark roast?"

"I'll have one as well," the first voice, identified as Hiashi, said.

"Sure thing, gentlemen," said the voice of an early twenties woman, "Two dark roasts coming up. Would either of you like cream and/or sugar?"

"I take mine straight," Hiashi's voice said.

"Cream only, please," Shibi's voice replied.

After a second or so, Hiashi's voice said, "I don't think that Tsume personally has anything to do with this, Shibi. That woman may be a complete and total idiot, but she's not one to pull stunts like this."

"You got a point," Shibi remarked, "Her stunts tend to involve stealing vehicles, drinking heavily, and whatever asinine random idiocy pops into her head. But the _rest_ of her clan, on the other hand, still have some questions that the rest of Konoha want them to answer."

After the men that the two voices belonged to went to their own booth somewhere in the coffee shop, Sasuke looked to Sakura and asked, "The hell was that about?"

Shifting around uncomfortably, Sakura began, "Sasuke, do you remember the incident from a short while ago where you, Neji, Rock Lee and Tenten helped Shikamaru's clan investigate why all of their deer were being found slain on their property?"

After taking a sip from his coffee, Sasuke said, "Yeah, I remember that. Weren't the deer being killed by a group of kunoichi that did their mask shopping at the same place as Kakashi?"

"Well, an investigation was carried out by Konoha's government, looking into who those kunoichi were," Sakura continued, "The investigation team recently found out that the kunoichi responsible for killing the Nara clan deer belong to the Inuzuka clan."

"Inuzuka clan?" Sasuke repeated in a questioning tone, "Hey, isn't that the clan that Shino's friend Kiba belongs to?"

Nodding in the affirmative, Sakura said, "Yes, Kiba and his family are all Inuzuka clan shinobi."

"Wait, weren't those kunoichi killing the deer for meat?" Sasuke asked.

Again, nodding in the affirmative, Sakura replied, "The Inuzuka clan have been seeing quite a shortage of food for quite a long time. It's made them rather desperate."

"I think one of the kunoichi that I confronted with Neji and the others said something about buying food not being much of an option," Sasuke said.

"Yes," Sakura replied, "The Inuzuka clan is Konoha's poorest clan. This is made all the worse by the fact that they're the most numerous clan in Konoha. And that's not taking their ninja dogs into account."

Arching an eyebrow, Sasuke said, "I'm…going to assume that their numbers will reach crazy levels if you do take their ninja dogs into account."

"The Inuzuka clan, if you don't take their ninja dogs into account, is fifty percent bigger than the Hyuga, which is the next leading clan," Sakura explained, "Now consider the fact that each member of the Inuzuka clan owns at least one ninja dog. I think Kiba's older sister owns three." This revelation made Sasuke's eyes widen in shock somewhat; a short while ago, Sasuke saw a gathering of Hyuga clan ninja over at the Hyuga clan's main estate when he was invited over by Neji. Sasuke was shocked to see so many Hyuga clan members, and the Hyuga prodigy said that not all of the Hyuga clan was there at that gathering.

"I can see why the Inuzuka clan would go so far for food," Sasuke remarked, "They have a LOT of mouths to feed."

"Exactly," Sakura replied with a nod.

"Hey, I have a question," Sasuke asked suddenly, "The Inuzuka clan's food problems are tied to their money problems, right? Why are they dealing with money issues in the first place?"

"The Inuzuka clan is in debt to the Hyuga clan," Sakura explained, "They have been for at least the past three generations, so it started well before our time."

"Can't the Inuzuka clan ninja just do a lot of missions to earn the money needed to pay off what they owe?" Sasuke asked.

"When the Inuzuka clan fist became indebted to the Hyuga, elders of the Hyuga clan at that time put conditions on the loan that they gave the Inuzuka," Sakura explained, "These conditions were clearly made with the intention of making sure that the Inuzuka clan would never be able to pay off what they owe, what with the messy business of interest and all that jazz."

"Seriously?" Sasuke asked, looking mildly appalled.

Nodding in the affirmative, Sakura replied, "Hinata's father Hiashi is trying to argue with current elders of the Hyuga clan to make changes to the conditions of the loan they gave to the Inuzuka clan. He wants to make it so that the Inuzuka clan will be able to pay off the loan within a few years or so."

"…Remind me again who this Hiashi guy is," Sasuke said.

"Hiashi Hyuga," Sakura said, "I heard him talking with Shino's dad while they were getting coffee over at the counter."

Looking Sakura right in the eyes, Sasuke replied, "I still don't know who-"

"Oh, Sakura, fancy seeing you here," one of the men's voices from earlier spoke up, getting Sasuke and Sakura to turn their heads to see Hiashi and Shibi standing there (it was Hiashi who spoke up).

Gesturing to the Hyuga clan lord, Sakura said, "This is him, Sasuke."

"Oh, you mean Neji's uncle?" Sasuke remarked when he turned to face Sakura, "Well why didn't you say so in the first place?"

"It's rare to see someone who only knows Hiashi as Neji's uncle," Shibi remarked with a slight hint of amusement in his tone.

"You two were talking about me?" Hiashi asked the two chunnin.

"Yeah, I was just explaining a few things to Sasuke concerning what the Inuzuka clan has been up to recently and why," Sakura remarked.

Sighing in a tone that sounded somewhat defeated, the Hyuga clan lord remarked, "Yes, I have been working on trying to lighten the burden that the Inuzuka clan is facing because of me."

"But sir, the Hyuga clan loaned the Inuzuka clan that money before you were born," Sakura pointed out.

"Even so," Hiashi replied, "As the leader of the Hyuga clan, I have to take responsibility for managing affairs such as this."

"And this is in addition to what my pal here already has on his plate," Shibi remarked.

"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked.

"I've got managing my first-born daughter's arranged marriage to handle," the Hyuga clan lord began, "And my second-born daughter is being quite the handful right now. She's reached that point where girls tend to be rebellious. The Hyuga clan elders, in addition to being stubborn on not easing up on the debt that the Inuzuka clan owes us, are questioning my second-born daughter's competency as heir to lead the Hyuga clan, due to all of her recent behavior."

"Wait, aren't first-born children usually made heirs?" Sasuke asked.

Sighing, Hiashi said, "A while ago, I made Hanabi my heir over Hinata because I was a bit impatient on having an heir that was competent in combat, and Hanabi was progressing faster than Hinata at the time."

"As is stands right now, Hiashi considers both of his daughters about equal to each other," Shibi remarked, "He's only leaving Hanabi as his heir because it's easier to just leave things be."

"The paperwork's a pain in the rear," Hiashi remarked, "But that's beside the point. Trying to lighten the Inuzuka clan's burden is the most immediate thing I have to deal with right now." Straightening somewhat, Hiashi continued, "Well, it was great talking to you kids. Have a good day." After that, Hiashi and Shibi took their leave.

After the two men were gone, Sasuke turned to face Sakura. "I wasn't aware that those two were friends with each other," Sasuke remarked.

"You'd be surprised who Hinata's father is friends with," Sakura replied.

Draining the rest of his coffee, Sasuke said, "Well Sakura, since we're both headed to the same destination, I'm ready to go whenever you are."

"Yeah, I'm ready to head over to the Hokage office building now," Sakura replied with a nod, getting up at the same time as Sasuke.

* * *

Within a few minutes, Sasuke and Sakura had both made their way to the Hokage office building. When they got there, they reported to Lady Tsunade, the fifth Hokage. They both found Tsunade sitting at her desk in her office on the second floor. Seeing the two chunnin walk in together, Tsunade arched an eyebrow in surprise. "Are you two, like, together or something?" Tsunade asked. When asked this, both Sasuke and Sakura repeatedly denied the notion in a flustered manner.

"…Whatever," the Fifth Hokage replied as she picked up a file and looked at it, "Anyway Sasuke, I don't have any job specifically for you today. However, if you and three of your friends can form a team, I can send you to assist the other teams of Konoha shinobi that I'm sending over to the Inuzuka clan compound."

"The Inuzuka clan compound?" Sasuke repeated, "Why? What's going on?"

"This has something to do with the Inuzuka clan being responsible for killing the Nara clan deer, isn't it?" Sakura asked.

Nodding in the affirmative, Tsunade said, "Warrants for the arrest of the three Inuzuka clan kunoichi that were killing the Nara clan's deer have been issued, and I'm sending as many teams of Konoha shinobi to assist with the arrest as possible."

"Why so many?" Sasuke asked.

"Due to how…wild…Inuzuka clan shinobi can be," Tsunade began, "It's best to play things safe here."

"Well okay," Sasuke replied, "I'll gather whoever I can get my hands on, and as soon as I have a team formed, we'll come back here to receive further orders."

"I'll leave you to it," Tsunade said as she sent Sasuke off with a salute.

* * *

Thanks to Sakura calling everyone to see who was available, Sasuke had his team formed within a few minutes; the team ended up consisting of Shino, Ino and Choji. Sasuke had originally wanted to put Neji on his team, but Sakura strongly advised against the idea. (1) When that idea floundered, Sasuke had also expressed interest in bringing Shikamaru, in order to take advantage of the legendary teamwork that the Nara, Yamanaka and Akimichi clans had with each other. But Shikamaru wasn't all that happy with the Inuzuka clan at the moment, and wanted to keep as far away from them as he could manage. (2)

After Sasuke and his team assisted another team of Konoha ninja from keeping a number of Inuzuka clan shinobi (all of which were kunoichi, for some reason) and their ninja dogs from making too much of a ruckus, they heard a woman's voice call out, "Hey, Shino! Over here!" Hearing someone call out to one of his team members made Sasuke, as well as the rest of his team, turn to face the direction the call came from. It was then that they saw Kurenai Yuhi come running up to them.

"Oh, Kurenai-sensei," Shino greeted, "I take it that you were called up by Lady Tsunade to assist with the arrest of the three Inuzuka clan kunoichi?"

"That's…part of why I'm here, yes," Kurenai replied after a brief second.

"Wait, did you find anyone to babysit your child?" Ino asked in a concerned tone, "I'd hate the idea of a child as young as her being left alone."

"I hired Hinata to babysit her for the day, so that's taken care of," Kurenai explained, "There's something that I'm concerned about. Actually, make that some _one_."

"…You're concerned about Kiba too," Shino began, "Aren't you, Kurenai-sensei?"

After nodding once in the affirmative, Kurenai said, "Right, Shino. When you all graduated from the academy as genin, and I was put in charge of you, Kiba and Hinata, I looked into your respective histories at the academy."

"Given that you just became their jonin sensei at the time, that's a fair thing to do," Choji said, "I believe Asuma-sensei did the same thing after he was put in charge of Shikamaru, Ino and me."

"As did Kakashi after he was given the reins on Sakura, Naruto and me," Sasuke remarked to his teammates, "Of course, rather than do so right away like what I heard Kurenai did, Kakashi decided to follow Asuma's example and wait until sometime after he put us through a tedious training exercise."

"We're getting off subject," Kurenai said as she got the attention of the four chunnin again, "When I looked into Kiba's records, I noticed that there was a disturbingly high amount of theft accusations levied against him."

"Theft accusations?" Ino repeated, sounding three parts shocked, seven parts confused.

Nodding in the affirmative, Kurenai continued, "Nothing was ever confirmed, but items on the list include small amounts of money, various snacks, and at least several dozen rolls of toilet paper. There were also a number of notes in Kiba's record saying that any of Kiba's clothes that clearly weren't hand-me-downs were rather threadbare, some of which had sewing jobs done on them."

"This is…this certainly explains a number of things in Kiba's past behavior," Shino remarked in a mildly somber tone.

Kurenai turned to face Sasuke, her head hung somewhat. "Please, Sasuke," Kurenai began, "I need you to find Kiba. I need you to…" Kurenai stopped short as her shoulders shook; Sasuke noticed that the ground beneath Kurenai's face was starting to get splattered with tears.

"…As soon as Shino, Ino, Choji and I get the okay to leave here, we'll get right on it," Sasuke replied, "We're technically on the clock here, and I'm on probation. Leaving in the middle of a job like this would not do us good."

"That's fair," Kurenai replied with a slight sniffle, "And thank you, Sasuke. I'm glad to see that Orochimaru didn't get to you completely."

"I'm glad for that too," Sasuke remarked, "Most of his bases were underground and thus lacked windows. Besides that, I've actually been having quite a bit of fun since I returned to Konoha. Loads more than what I ever had playing chore monkey for that crypt keeper." (3)

"Pfft," Shino said as he tried to snort back a laugh, "Crypt keeper. That's a good one."

* * *

After a half hour or so, Sasuke and his team were done with their job, so after Sasuke reported the success to Lady Tsunade, they went about taking care of Kurenai's request. As they walked, Sasuke said, "Hey Shino, Ino, Choji, I have a question. If you all gave the notion some serious thought, would you say that you had rough childhoods while you were growing up?"

"I defiantly wouldn't say that I had a rough time growing up," Choji answered, "I mean, I had good friends that had my back, and I've never wanted for anything, food especially."

"You belong to the Akimichi clan, Choji," Shino pointed out, "One of Konoha's four noble clans."

"Same as the Aburame," Sasuke pointed out, drawing a nod of agreement from Shino. Turning to face Ino, Sasuke said, "How about you, Ino? Would you say that you had it rough growing up?"

Shaking her head in the negative, Ino replied, "No, I wouldn't say so. My clan my not be one of Konoha's four noble clans, but I still grew up never wanting for anything either." Regarding the last Uchiha, Ino asked, "Why do you ask, Sasuke? What brought this up?"

"I thought for the longest time that Naruto and I were the only ones back at the academy that had a rough time growing up," Sasuke explained, "Given that I lost my entire clan and all of my loved ones before I turned nine, and Naruto had nothing at all to begin with."

"But I'm guessing that you've just now realized that you don't have to be completely frigg'en alone growing up to have a crappy life that was hell on ice, isn't that right Uchiha?!" a rough voice snapped from the trees above where Sasuke and the others were walking, getting them all to look up.

Standing on a thick tree branch at least fifteen feet or so above the ground, leaning with his back against the tree trunk, was Kiba. He was dressed in his usual casual outfit that he wears in his mid to late teens. The one difference Sasuke noticed from the last time he saw Kiba was that, similar to the Inuzuka kunoichi that were caught killing Nara clan deer, Kiba had a notably slim build. Not enough to warrant immediate alarm (despite what most Akimichi clan ninja would tell you), but Sasuke could tell that Kiba would probably kill for something to eat.

The look in Kiba's eyes suggested to Sasuke that the Inuzuka chunnin would actually be willing to go that far.

The attention of Sasuke and company was brought away from Kiba when they heard angry snarling coming from the base of the tree that Kiba was standing up in. Looking down, Sasuke and the others saw Kiba's loyal ninja dog, Akamaru, get up from a sitting position. Standing on all fours, Akamaru was eyeing Sasuke and company, snarling at all four of them while giving of an air of total aggression.

One that Akamaru's owner seemed to be giving off as well.

"The hell are you doing here, Uchiha?" Kiba spat in a bitter tone, eyeing Sasuke and company angrily.

"We were planning a get together later," Sasuke replied, making Choji, Ino and Shino look at Sasuke with expressions of confusion. (4) Likewise, Kiba arched an eyebrow out of curiosity.

"…A get together," Kiba said in disbelief, with just a hint of the anger in his tone dissipating somewhat, "Really."

"We were wondering if you'd be interested in coming along," Sasuke continued.

"…Yeah, I'm going to have to take a raincheck on that one," Kiba replied coolly.

"You sure, Kiba?" Choji said as he realized what Sasuke was aiming at, "Everyone's going to be there, dude."

"How come you don't want to come, Kiba?" Sasuke asked. Kiba jumped down out of the three, landing in a crouching position with his right arm raised back.

"…Human-beast mimicry," Kiba said.

Shino and Choji both instantly backed up a step, both clearly looking alarmed. (5) Sasuke and Ino saw why Shino and Choji backed up; Akamaru ran up to Kiba and jumped onto his back, standing there. A cloud of smoke poofed up around Akamaru, the sign of a transformation jitsu. Sasuke was shocked to see Akamaru had transformed into a double of Kiba. "FANG OVER FANG!" Kiba yelled, startling Sasuke and company with the sheer volume of the shout, not to mention just how…how _savage_ …it sounded.

Kiba and his transformed ninja dog both spun forward at Sasuke and company, spinning so hard that it created visible streams. The two streams struck the ground where Sasuke and company were standing; the four chunnin had all jumped out of the way just in time to avoid getting hit by a brutal assault. "Kiba, dude! Calm down!" Choji shouted, three parts worried and seven parts freaked out.

"Looks like we're going to have to sort this out the hard way," Shino remarked as he raised his arms up; Sasuke, Choji and Ino saw a vast number of beetles fly out of the long sleeves of the coat that Shino was wearing.

Landing on a high up tree branch, Kiba was able to see the beginning of Shino calling out his bugs. "Yeah, screw that noise," Kiba spat as he saw the beetles, reaching into a weapons pouch on the back of his belt. Pulling out several small hand-made balls roughly the size of large marbles, Kiba threw them at the ground, creating a large smoke cloud that was pale green in color. (6) When Shino's bugs came in contact with this smoke cloud Kiba made, they all fell down, dead within seconds.

"Yeah, I modified my special smoke grenades after that incident back when we were fourteen where your bugs were bothering Akamaru," Kiba spat at Shino, "Any insect, as well as most arachnids, that gets caught up within the smoke will die within seconds."

"…If it wasn't for the fact that we're caught up in a fight against each other, I'd be marveling at the ingenuity that you're showing," Shino remarked.

"Kiba, please!" Ino yelled as tears began welling up in the corners of her eyes, "You've got to calm down! We were asked to-"

"ARF! ARF!" Akamaru barked angrily; having transformed back to normal, the large ninja dog cut Ino off, lunging at her and tackling her to the ground, keeping her pinned.

"Expansion Jitsu!" Choji shouted, using his clan's special technique to make his right arm grow in both size and length. With his enlarged arm, Choji grabbed Akamaru and hoisted him off of Ino.

"Passing Fang!" Kiba yelled as he spun at Choji, striking him in his right side and knocking him over, as well as getting him to let Akamaru go; as he laid on the ground, the Akimichi chunnin let out a mild moan of pain as he passed out.

With Choji clearly down, Shino ran forward with a fist pulled back, intending to fight without sending out anymore of his beetles given that there was still some of Kiba's modified smoke in the air. Given that he was crouched when Shino came running up to him, Kiba simply stood up quickly, his head aimed at Shino's face. Kiba's aim wasn't perfect, as he mostly hit the right side of Shino's face. But the Inuzuka chunnin did hear the satisfying (to Kiba) sound of Shino's nose breaking.

As Shino fell over, clearly stunned by the blow he received (not to mention holding his broken/bleeding nose), Ino and Sasuke both ran at Kiba, intending to tag team him. As Sasuke and Ino got close to Kiba, Akamaru tackled Ino to the ground from behind her, keeping her face down on the ground. Leaping back a few feet, Sasuke wove some hand signs and took aim at the large ninja dog.

"Fire Style: Fireball jitsu!" Sasuke exclaimed, casting the large sphere of flames at Akamaru, striking him directly. The large ninja dog was thrown off of the unconscious Yamanaka kunoichi by the force of the fireball, and it hit hard enough to knock out Akamaru. Panting with fatigue, Sasuke was caught by surprise when Kiba shoulder rammed him from his (Sasuke's) left. His nails still grown and sharpened from having used human-beast mimicry, Kiba clawed at Sasuke, tearing the left side of Sasuke's shirt and drawing some blood.

Hissing in pain, Sasuke looked up from his cuts to see Kiba grab him by his shirt collar before slugging him on the left side of his face repeatedly. "Do you really wanna know why I don't wanna come to your little 'get together' with everyone, Uchiha?" Kiba snapped, his eyes wide and wild with anger, "You really wanna know?!" Punching the left side of Sasuke's face with every exclamation, Kiba shouted, "It's YOUR fault that three of my clan's shinobi got arrested! It's YOUR fault that the rest of Konoha trusts me and the rest of my clan less than ever! I'm frigg'en pissed OFF at you! I'm pissed off at YOU and every-ONE and every-THING!"

Pulling his fist back, Kiba was about to give Sasuke one last good slug in the face. However, someone had grabbed Kiba's wrist just as he came within an inch of striking Sasuke's face. Both Kiba and Sasuke turned to regard whoever had grabbed Kiba's wrist. To their collective surprise, it was Kurenai who had stopped Kiba. Eyes still wide and wild with anger, Kiba only eyed his sensei at first, although Kurenai's sudden arrival was enough to get the enraged Inuzuka to stop for a moment. Her face showing an expression of sadness, Kurenai simply said, "Kiba…please."

Panting with exhaustion, Kiba let go of Sasuke's shirt collar, allowing the bruised Uchiha to fall on his butt. Feeling that Kiba's anger was exhausted as well, Kurenai let go of Kiba's wrist; the Inuzuka chunnin then fell to his hands and knees on the ground, his panting being mixed with crying as well. Looking to his knocked-out friends, Sasuke saw that Sakura and Shizune had arrived and were tending to Ino, Choji and Shino; an Inuzuka clan kunoichi dressed in a lab coat of sorts was tending to Akamaru.

Getting up with a bit of struggle, Sasuke turned to regard Kurenai. "Thanks for the save…" Sasuke remarked, "…Kurenai-sensei."

* * *

Over in Tsunade's office over at the Hokage office building, Sasuke (whose face had already been healed at this point), Sakura, Shizune and Kurenai were standing before Tsunade's desk, at which Tsunade was seated. Having been told of the entirety of the situation by Sakura and Shizune, Tsunade sighed as she leaned back in her chair. "Remind me again why the various programs that Konoha has to assist those who are financially struggling doesn't stretch to include ninja clans," Tsunade said.

"If I recall what I read in this one history book correctly," Shizune began, "The late Lord Second, who created and pushed the various assistance programs into law in the first place, didn't believe that ninja should be able to use said programs. So, he made it part of the law that ninja can't use them."

"Shizune," Tsunade began, "Make arrangements so that I can make the appropriate changes to the various assistance programs. A lot of what the Inuzuka clan have been up to as of late would never have happened, or at least it wouldn't have been anywhere near as severe, in the first place if they were allowed to apply for the various assistance programs."

"Right," Shizune replied with a nod as she took her leave.

After Shizune left, Kurenai said, "Do you know if Kiba, Shino and Akamaru are okay?"

"I was able to heal Shino's broken nose well enough," Sakura replied, "And Kiba was just exhausted. I didn't check on Akamaru, but Hana said that he'll be fine."

Sighing in relief, Kurenai said, "Well thank goodness for that."

"I was able to get Choji back to shape, and Ino woke up and assisted with her own mending," Sakura added.

"Ha!" Tsunade laughed in amusement, "That sounds just like Ino!"

"Hey Sakura," Sasuke began, "You think Choji, Shino, Ino and everyone else will forgive Kiba for what he's done?"

"They did once I brought to their attention all of the hell that Kiba and his clan had been going though as of late and why they were going through that hell," Sakura replied, "In fact, all of the guys weren't going to hold anything against Kiba anyway."

"Seriously?" Sasuke asked, a mildly surprised look on his face.

Shrugging, Sakura said, "It's a guy thing, as far as I can tell."

After Sasuke and Sakura were done, they left Tsunade's office to go catch everyone for the get together. As Sasuke and Sakura exited the Hokage office building, they saw that Ino, Shikamaru, Kiba and Akamaru were approaching. "Like hell we're going to that fancy-ass salad place, Ino!" Kiba snapped as he was facing the Yamanaka clan chunnin, "That place doesn't serve meat!"

"Well that's the point of a salad place, Kiba," Ino pointed out.

"Take a look at Akamaru, Ino," Kiba said as he gestured to his dog, "Does he LOOK like a frigg'en rabbit to you?!"

"Kiba's got a point, Ino," Shikamaru said, "In fact, I was going to suggest that new pizza place."

"Hey Ino! Guys!" Sakura yelled, calling out to the others.

When they all met up with each other, Sasuke said, "Hey Kiba, Ino, you guys feeling better?"

"Ino's suggesting that I feed rabbit food to my dog!" Kiba exclaimed as he threw his hands into the air, "I'd rather feed the rabbit to Akamaru, rather than feed him rabbit food!"

"…Well I see Kiba's feeling better," Sasuke remarked, drawing a chuckle out of Shikamaru. To Ino, Sasuke asked, "How about you, Ino?"

"I'm fine, thank you," Ino replied.

"So, then guys," Sakura said as she clapped her hands together, "Where are we heading for dinner tonight?"

"Anywhere but that fancy-ass salad place," Kiba said, "Seriously, Ino. You think Akamaru and Choji would both like eating at a place like that?"

"Another excellent point made by Kiba," Shikamaru remarked, "Choji is even less likely to enjoy eating at a salad place than Akamaru."

"How about that sub sandwich place near the Hokage office building?" Sakura suggested, "You can have your sub made the way you want it, so everyone will like what they get."

"That sounds reasonable," Ino replied.

"Yeah, I could use a sandwich," Sasuke remarked, "Let's see what everyone else says about that." With that, Sasuke and company walked off, talking amongst themselves as they went into the evening.

END, GUESS WHO'S BACK CHAPTER SIX

Author's Notes:

(1) The Inuzuka clan is ticked off at the Hyuga clan enough as it is, and Sasuke wants to bring a Hyuga to assist with arresting three Inuzuka shinobi. You do the math.

(2) Which, given the circumstances, is understandable.

(3) Although Tsunade is above using the term 'chore monkey', Orochimaru is a different matter altogether.

(4) It's hard to tell with Shino, though.

(5) It would be logical, given that he's been friends with Kiba for years, for Choji to be familiar with what Kiba can do.

(6) The cloud was as big as the one Kiba made during his fight with Naruto during the chunnin exams.

With this chapter, Sasuke now has Kiba (and Akamaru) in his corner. The next chapter will feature the remnants of the Sound ninja, a little bit of romance, and one of the oldest villains of the series proper. Sasuke will have his hands full, that's for sure.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.

Guess who's back?

Chapter seven: Nine shades of wrath

It was an apartment building in a village somewhere outside the Land of Fire. It was there, in a third-floor apartment, where a man looked at himself in a full body mirror that stood on the floor as the last sunlight of the day came through the blinds, casting horizontal orange bars of light across the room; this twilight was the only light in the room. The only noises being made were the man sighing once as he looked at himself, and the whirring of the electronic fan on a nearby desk as its head moved back and forth slowly. Shifting his gaze slightly to the right, so he could see what was behind him by looking in the mirror, the man saw what he was contemplating.

An Oto ninja uniform.

It was a surprisingly detailed uniform, with a number of uniform decorations on it, which denoted the man who owned it as one of great rank and prestige. The full-head mask that was part of the uniform had holes that exposed the nose and mouth, in addition to the one that exposed the eyes, rather than just a hole for the eyes alone. There was also an officer's hat on the hook next to the hook on which the mask was (not all that neatly) hung.

This uniform represented all that the man was, all that he had left in life. It held all of his memories, all of his accomplishments, all of his pride. In the past, the man would wear this uniform as he served under the great and benevolent Lord Orochimaru. The man wore this very uniform when he and his fellows, under Lord Orochimaru's command, invaded the village of Konohagakure, alongside a number of Suna ninja, convinced into helping Oto. The man recalled with a smile that it was Lord Orochimaru the Brilliant who had done his special kind of magic to get the Suna ninja to do this.

…Then the man's smile melted into a frown when he recalled that the Oto-Suna invasion (of course the man was putting Oto before Suna, it was Oto who deserved top billing) of Konoha ended up failing when Lord Orochimaru the Mighty failed to kill that bastard old man, the Third Hokage, as the Hokage ended his own life in a way that put a halt Orochimaru's schemes. It was then that some Oto ninja became concerned with how their grand, proud nation was looking.

Even with Lord Orochimaru the Brave and Glorious succeeding in acquiring that young Uchiha boy for his plans, Oto eventually fell within two years after the failed attempt to bring Konoha to its knees. Oto had fallen, and it was the handiwork of Uchiha who had made it so. It was Uchiha who had defeated Lord Orochimaru the Undefeatable. It was Uchiha who had broken the spirit of the great and numerous Oto ninjas.

It was Uchiha who had taken from the man all that he had.

But soon, revenge will belong to the man. The man had heard that Uchiha had returned to Konoha in an attempt to 'earn redemption', effectively making himself into the attack dog of that whore woman, Tsunade the Not-as-cool-as-Orochimaru. The man had gathered enough of his old fellow Oto shinobi, his old comrades in arms, to attack that bastard hellhole Konoha. Even with as many men that he had gathered, the man knew that he wouldn't be able to take down or take over Konoha. But the man DID know that he and his fellows will take out a very good number of Konoha's people, both shinobi and citizens alike, as he and his fellows went out in a blaze of glory. A blaze so grand that the world will know of it, and remember it for all time.

A fitting end to a fitting legacy.

* * *

It was a fair enough day in the village of Konohagakure. Sasuke Uchiha, who had recently returned to Konoha in a quest for redemption, was making his way to the Hokage office building so that he could report to Lady Tsunade, the fifth and current Hokage, for his work for today. As he made his way, he ran into three of his friends, Ino Yamanaka, Shino Aburame, and Kiba Inuzuka, along with Kiba's ninja dog Akamaru. When he came across them, Sasuke saw that Kiba was in an argument with Ino.

"Why the hell did you try to make Akamaru eat a radish?!" Kiba snapped at Ino.

"Well the only snacks you give him are meat-based," Ino remarked, hands on her waist.

"That's because Akamaru is a DOG, Ino," Kiba replied, "He's a frigg'en DOG!"

"Woof!" Akamaru barked before sniffing about at the air.

As Sasuke came close, Shino noticed him and said, "Oh, what's up, Sasuke?"

"Sasuke, please tell me that you agree with me that trying to feed a radish to a dog is a dumb idea," Kiba said when he turned to face his Uchiha friend.

"Yeah, I am kind of having a difficult time imagining a dog eating a radish," Sasuke remarked, "I think that a dog would sooner eat the animal that would eat the radish, rather than the radish itself."

"Yahoo!" Kiba cheered as he pumped a fist into the air, "Team Inuzuka one, team Yamanaka zero!"

"Akamaru needs more variety in his diet, Kiba!" Ino said.

"One, Akamaru gets all the variety he needs in the special dog food I mix up for him," Kiba began to say to the Yamanaka chunnin, "Two, shut up."

"To be fair, I think that dog care should be left to the dog care professionals," Sasuke said to Ino.

As Ino's shoulders slumped in defeat, making Kiba laugh boisterously in the process, the four chunnin and one ninja dog heard a loud explosion from the next street over. When Akamaru turned to face the direction that the noise came from so he could bark in that direction, Sasuke exclaimed with wide-eyed shock, "What the hell was that?!"

"Hmm," Kiba said as he held a hand to his chin, "Either Konoha's being attacked by hostile ninjas, or the Akimichi clan is having Chili night right now."

"Their Chili night is on Thursdays," Shino pointed out, "Today is Tuesday."

"Hostile ninja attacking Konoha it is," Kiba declared.

"Let's go back up the other Konoha ninja that are bound to be there," Ino said as she ran on ahead.

"Oi Ino, wait up!" Kiba shouted as he ran to catch up to the Yamanaka chunnin, with Akamaru running after his master. Giving each other knowing looks, Sasuke and Shino ran after the rest of the group.

* * *

After Sasuke and Shino turned a few corners, they had eventually caught up to Ino, Kiba and Akamaru. When they did, they both stopped dead in their tracks, stunned by what they saw; no less than two-hundred Sound ninja in the streets, a few of them fighting Konoha ninja, but most of them were marching towards the Hokage office building. Leading the procession of marching sound ninja was one wearing an elaborately decorated sound ninja uniform, an officer's hat, and there were holes in his mask for his nose and mouth. He also had a cape and those shoulder pads that had little tassels hanging off of the edge. (1)

"Ah, now who do we have here!" the caped sound ninja proclaimed in amusement when he saw Sasuke and the other Konoha chunnin. Pointing at Sasuke, the caped sound ninja said, "If it isn't the traitor of the sound! You have a lot to answer for, Uchiha!"

"Oh what, are you sad that Sasuke gave Oto a big middle finger?" Kiba taunted, "Oh, and by the way, your cape and hat look frigg'en stupid."

"It is YOU who is the stupid one, foolish Konoha youth!" the caped sound ninja exclaimed, drawing a sword and pointing it at Kiba.

"Yeah, is that so?" Kiba replied in an amused, "Well, this 'foolish Konoha youth' is about to kick your ass!"

"ARF!" Akamaru barked angrily at the caped sound ninja.

"To battle, men!" the caped sound ninja commanded flamboyantly, "We shall-"

"Earth Style: Dark Swamp."

Feeling a sudden chill, as if he were being watched, the caped sound ninja looked around, stopping midsentence. Suddenly, he felt himself sink into the ground, and that sinking feeling was followed by hearing the panicked screams of his men. Turning his head so that he could see his men behind him, he saw that all of his men were struggling (and failing) to move their legs; a few were even trying to pull their legs up by grabbing their legs with their hands and yanking upwards with all the strength they had. Seeing his men act in such a manner, the caped sound ninja looked down.

To his shock, he saw the explanation for his sinking feeling; he was literally sinking in a swampy mire that wasn't there a few seconds before hand. Turning his gaze up somewhat, he saw that all of his men that were following him were also stuck in the mire. "What sorcery is this?!" the caped sound ninja proclaimed, seven parts confused and three parts panicked.

"…Yeah, how the hell did this swamp get here?" Sasuke asked as he and the others took a few steps back.

"…Oh no," Ino muttered in a wary tone as she stepped back a bit more, " _He_ ' _s_ here."

Looking to Ino upon hearing the worry in her tone, Sasuke said, "Are you alright, Ino?"

"This is the Dark Swamp technique that we're looking at, Sasuke," Shino said as the apprehension in his tone matched that of Ino's, "And given that it's been used to trap a vast number of hostile enemy ninja, then what should be following is-"

Shino didn't get to finish speaking, because at that moment he was cut off by someone shouting, "FIRE STYLE: MAJESTIC DESTROYER FLAME!" To the left of Sasuke and company, they all felt a great heat, accompanied by the roaring of a vast, powerful fire. The sound ninja also felt the heat, heard the flames, and they turned their heads in the direction that the heat and roaring came from.

What the sound ninja saw was an all-consuming inferno rushing towards them.

All of the sound ninja that were trapped in the Dark Swamp went wide-eyed with fear, with some of them even shouting the last noises they'd ever make. Even with certain death coming at him at full speed, the caped sound ninja refused to show fear. Right as the flames reached him and his men, the caped sound ninja shouted, "BANZAI!" (2) Sasuke, Shino, Ino, Kiba and Akamaru all watched as the flames reached into the skies of Konoha, its roaring drowning out all noise being made by the perishing sound ninja.

When the flames went up, the few sound ninjas that weren't caught in the Dark Swamp due to fighting a few random Konoha ninja, plus those random Konoha ninja themselves, all stopped what they were doing to gawk and stare as the flames continued to roar. Seeing the vast bulk of their fellows all perish all at once, the few remaining sound ninjas all fell to their knees, putting their hands behind their heads as they waited to be apprehended.

"…Holy crap," Kiba said quietly, too stunned by what he was seeing to express any sort of surprise, "He just napalmed the poor bastards."

"Wait, you know who's doing this?" Sasuke asked as he turned his head to face Kiba.

"Yeah, I know who's doing this," Kiba remarked as his current tone persisted, "Shino knows who's doing this, Ino knows who's doing this. Hell, Akamaru knows who's doing this, and he often has trouble recalling anyone who doesn't belong to the Inuzuka clan."

"Look, he's here!" one of the random Konoha shinobi exclaimed as if rejoicing, pointing in the direction the flames came from. Looking at the Konoha shinobi, Sasuke and company followed the direction he was pointing in. What they saw shocked them, Sasuke especially.

He was standing on top of a large water tank that was on the roof of a tall apartment building. The wind was blowing against his right, making his long haori coat flap in the wind. His very long, yellow-blonde spikey hair was waiving in the wind as well, mostly masking the right side of his face. He was dressed in the standard outfit of Konoha shinobi chunnin rank and up, the only exception being his long haori coat, which reached his knees; the bottom edge flared up with red flame patterns, and the rest of the coat was a familiar (to Sasuke) shade of orange.

Sasuke could not be mistaken. Those were _those_ deep blue eyes. Those were _those_ whisker-like markings on his face. "Holy crap…" Sasuke muttered, almost whispered, out of shock as he saw someone that he knew he'd run into after having returned to Konoha, "…Naruto." Instantly, and without warning, Naruto instantly vanished.

"I see you all helped somewhat," Naruto's voice said in an unamused monotone on ground level and within a few feet of Sasuke and company, making them look down and sub sequentially jump back in surprise when they saw Naruto standing a few feet in front of them.

"If the five of you have time to gawk and stare," Naruto continued in his monotone, "Then you have time to help the other Konoha shinobi keep the remaining sound ninja subdued until they can be hauled off to prison. I'm going over to the Hokage office building to let Lady Tsunade know that she's going to need to send some help with getting the remains of the slain sound ninja cleaned out of the streets and taken to the morgue." Before Sasuke or any of the others could get a word in, Naruto vanished again.

After Naruto was gone, Sasuke turned to face the others. "Is he…" Sasuke began slowly as he had trouble finding the words, "…Has he…What…what the hell happened to him?"

"He reported to Lady Tsunade," one of the random Konoha ninja called out, the same one who was seemingly rejoicing at Naruto's arrival, "Just like he said."

"He just single-handedly saved Konoha from an invasion of the remnants of the Sound ninja!"

"Uhh, what about me, Sasuke and the dudes here?" Kiba asked as he gestured to himself and his friends. Gesturing to the random Konoha ninja, Kiba continued, "What about you guys?"

"You kids didn't do anything," the random Konoha ninja said, "And all my fellows and I did was keep a few stragglers busy. It was Naruto who did all of the heavy work!"

"He really is Konoha's greatest hero, isn't he?" another random Konoha ninja said.

"I hear talk that Lady Tsunade had picked Naruto to take over for her as Hokage when she steps down," one of the kunoichi among the random Konoha ninja stated.

"Why can't we just turn Naruto loose on Kumo already?" a fourth Konoha ninja (this one male) asked rhetorically, "That will save everyone trouble in the long run!"

Whispering into Sasuke's right ear, Shino said, "Yeah, that all basically summarizes the opinion that most everyone in Konoha has for Naruto."

"Well," Sasuke whispered back to the Aburame chunnin, "At least the village likes him now."

* * *

Over at the Hokage office building a few minutes later, Sasuke was reporting to Lady Tsunade; Sasuke's friends who were with him when the sound ninjas were slaughtered had accompanied the last Uchiha to Tsunade's office. "So, you were present when the sound ninjas were taken down," Tsunade said to the last Uchiha.

"Yes, I was," Sasuke replied, "Shino, Ino, Kiba and Akamaru were there as well, so they can verify."

Shifting around in her seat, Tsunade remarked, "You know Sasuke, the job that I had lined up for you today was to investigate rumors that the remnants of the sound ninja were planning an attack of some kind on Konoha."

"But the incident earlier changed everything?" Kiba asked in a somewhat unsure tone.

Picking up a single-page file on her desk, Tsunade remarked, "Of the two-hundred and twenty-four sound ninja who were involved in the attack that occurred, seventeen were defeated by Konoha shinobi and brought in alive for questioning. The remaining two-hundred and seven sound ninja were all killed."

"By Naruto," Ino added.

Nodding once in acknowledgement, Tsunade replied with a grim expression, "Naruto certainly seems to have changed, hasn't he?"

"I distinctly remember hearing him refer to you as ' _Lady_ Tsunade', rather than ' _Granny_ Tsunade', which he had been known to do for the longest time," Shino stated, "That shows that Naruto's become far less playful than what he used to be."

"The dude seriously has to take a chill pill," Kiba swore, "He damn near scares the living piss out of me!"

"What really confused me is _why_ Naruto is behaving in such a manner," Ino remarked, "I mean, look at what he's got right now. He's one of the finest jonin-ranked shinobi in Konoha, and the villagers all respect him as a hero. There's even talk that Naruto is going to be made Hokage! That has always been his dream, hasn't it?"

Sighing, Tsunade said, "All of what you said just now is true, Ino. It's true that Naruto's life is finally turning up pretty damn well for him."

"Then why would-" Ino continued, only for Tsunade to cut the Yamanaka chunnin off.

"Emphasis on _FINALLY_ ," Tsunade continued, "There's no denying the fact that prior to this, Naruto's life was FAR less than ideal." Looking to Sasuke and the others, Tsunade said, "And there's no denying that some of Naruto's classmates, even some in his graduating class, have contributed somewhat to that life Naruto had." As Sasuke and company looked somewhat guilt-ridden, Tsunade added, "But then again, the village as a whole has more responsibility in this regard. Thankfully Naruto won't do to the village and the villagers what he did to all of those sound ninjas from about a half hour previous or so."

"Do you think…" Ino began, "…Do you think that all of the suffering he's gone through…all of the hell he's been given, that it's…that it's all finally catching up to him?"

"Seems like it, sadly enough," Tsunade remarked somberly, "It makes me wish that the request that the late Lord Fourth had regarding Naruto was honored from the start. Maybe then Naruto's life wouldn't have been anywhere near as bad as it was." Looking directly as Sasuke, Tsunade said, "Given that the issue regarding the sound ninja has been resolved, I don't have anything for you today, so you're dismissed."

"Umm, okay," Sasuke replied in a mildly unsure tone, nodding his head respectfully to the Hokage. After he was dismissed, Sasuke took his leave, with Shino and the others following him. As they all made their way down the stairs to the first floor of the Hokage office building, Sasuke asked, "How long has Naruto been like this?"

"Sometime shortly after he was promoted to jonin roughly six months ago," Ino replied, "To make matters worse, the only ones who are seeing what's really happening with Naruto are the four of us, plus all of our friends, plus a few adults such as Lady Tsunade, miss Shizune and some of our parents. As far as the rest of the village knows or has seen, Naruto is a great, invincible hero."

"Naruto was applauded by the twenty-plus witnesses who saw the incident that Karui was involved in, because of what Naruto did to Karui in retaliation for said incident," Shino remarked.

"He-Naruto was-they _applauded_ him for that?!" Sasuke remarked, eyes wide with shock and surprise.

"Keep in mind that Kumo is giving the rest of the ninja world cause for worry at the moment," Shino pointed out.

"And to think," Ino remarked, "Choji, his folks, even Karui, don't hold anything against Naruto." Surprised by what he heard Ino said, Sasuke turned to regard her as she went on saying, "They all know full well that there's something wrong with Naruto. They, like everyone else we know, are just worried about him."

As Sasuke and the other walked out the front doors of the Hokage office building, they bumped into Sakura Haruno, their friend and one the assistants to Lady Tsunade. With Sakura at the time was another girl; she had long brunette hair, wore a lavender-and-cream hooded sweater-jacket, tan pants that reached half way down her shins, and a pair of shinobi sandals. She wore her Konoha ninja headband around her neck, rather than over her forehead like most other Konoha shinobi, Sasuke included. (3)

Sasuke did not recognize this girl that was with Sakura, but luckily for him, Ino saved him the trouble. "Oh, hey Sakura, hey Hinata," Ino greeted in a happy casual tone as the girls came forward, "Are we still on for-"

Ino stopped midsentence, and everyone else was rendered speechless as well, when Hinata approached Sasuke and struck him across the face with a powerful slap across the left side of his face. The slap struck Sasuke hard enough to make his head turn to his right, although the shock of being slapped out of the blue may have had a hand in the effectiveness of the slap. Before anyone could say anything, Hinata screamed, "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, SASUKE!"

"Umm…are you okay, Hinata?" Kiba asked in a concerned tone that sounded mildly unsure; Akamaru was whimpering in fright as he cowered, his tail tucked between his hind legs, as he slowly backed up away from the upset Hyuga.

Ignoring her teammate and said teammate's dog, Hinata simply continued screaming at Sasuke. "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT THAT NARUTO IS SUFFERING!" Hinata screamed, "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT THAT HE PUSHED HIMSELF HALF TO DEATH MORE THAN ONCE! DO YOU KNOW ALL THAT NARUTO DID, JUST TO TRY AND BRING YOU BACK TO KONOHA?! HOW COULD YOU MAKE HIM GO THROUGH ALL OF THAT?! WHAT KIND OF FRIEND ARE YOU?!"

After the shouting fit, Hinata hung her head and started crying, her shoulders shaking with each sob. "And now here you go…" Hinata said quietly, "…Just walking back into Konoha, doing all that you have been doing, and making all of the effort that Naruto went through for your sake completely pointless…"

"…Now I remember who you are," Sasuke remarked, making Hinata look up at Sasuke to glare at him; her face was red and her cheeks streaked with tears.

"Umm, Sasuke," Kiba began, "With all due respect, dude, I don't think what you just said was the _best_ choice of words in the world right now…"

"I'm going to have to side with Kiba on this one, Sasuke," Sakura remarked.

"Sorry, but I had trouble remembering who she was exactly," Sasuke replied to everyone as a whole, "But now I remember clearly." Looking more directly at Hinata, Sasuke said, "You're that girl from the academy who actually liked Naruto, aren't you?"

Her glare relenting, Hinata hung her head again before she said, "…Yes…"

Sighing, Sasuke replied, "You got a point. I've been a rather ungrateful friend towards Naruto. I have more to make for that I realized, it seems."

"Sasuke," Sakura began, "You were there when Naruto killed all of those sound ninjas who tried attacking Konoha earlier, right?"

After the last Uchiha nodded in the affirmative, Sakura continued, "Then you saw the air of aggression that Naruto was giving off, the lack of humor that he's been known to have, the-"

"Suffering that he's going through," Hinata said when she interrupted Sakura.

"…Yes, the suffering too," Sakura remarked, relenting to the point that Hinata was trying to get across, "Suffering that you've had as much of a hand in making Naruto go through as most everyone else." (4)

"You…you are going to help," Ino began, "Right?"

"Well…" Sasuke began, "…Naruto _is_ going to be the Hokage someday. It's wouldn't do Konoha good if its newest leader came into the job with some emotional baggage."

"So, you'll help?" Sakura asked.

"I've been meaning to talk to Naruto ever since I came back to Konoha in the first place, so this will kill two birds with one stone," Sasuke replied.

"I have a pretty good idea on where Naruto may be right now," Kiba said, getting everyone to turn and face him, "Just let me lead the way."

"Alright, let's go," Sasuke agreed, letting Kiba and Akamaru lead him, Shino and Ino to go find Naruto. After Sasuke and company were gone, Sakura and Hinata continued looking in the direction they saw Sasuke and his team go off in.

"Do…do you think Sasuke and the others will succeed in reaching Naruto?" Hinata asked.

"They have to, Hinata," Sakura replied quietly as she continued to look in the direction she was looking in, "They…they just have to."

* * *

In a wooded area, somewhere in Konoha, Naruto was leaning against a tree, his arms crossed. He seemed to be fuming, what with his eyes closed and a serious look on his face. But that was not necessarily the case; as a matter of fact, Naruto was actually having a conversation with Kurama, AKA the Kyubi, AKA the nine-tailed demon fox, who was sealed within Naruto. For the longest time, Naruto was at odds with the demon sealed within his body. But that was then. Starting sometime during the fourth great ninja war two years ago, Naruto and Kurama had reached an understanding; now, demon and host were good friends with each other.

"…Seriously, Naruto," Kurama spoke to his host from within the seal, "That old man in the robe. The one who always has his hood up, and you never see more than the bottom half of his face. I don't trust that man. He reeks of treachery."

"And yet he raises many valid points," Naruto replied. Sighing, Kurama sat back within the realm of the seal.

"That man is clearly trying to stoke your anger," the nine-tails remarked, "For what reason, I do not know. But know this, my friend; do not listen to all that is said by that mysterious old man."

"Ah, if it isn't Naruto," a voice called out, sounding old and raspy. Snapping Naruto out of his trance-like state and back to reality, Naruto turned to face his right as he regarded the individual that had approached him; it was an old man, wearing a dark gray hooded robe. The hood was large, and it hung over the man's face, exposing only the lower half of the man's face. The sleeves of the robe were long enough so that they stretched halfway over the man's hands. The end of the man's robe draped over the top of the man's feet, barely showing that the man wore a pair of shinobi sandals.

"Hail the conquering hero," the old man greeted as he held up his right hand in a greeting gesture.

Merely eyeing the mysterious old man, Naruto remarked, "You know, I still have no idea who you are. What's your name, old man?"

"Everything shall be revealed in good time, my boy," the old man replied, "I just wished to check up on you. I heard talk that you had performed yet another great feat that showcased your heroism."

Turning his head so that he faced forward, Naruto replied, "…I helped to prevent the remnants of the sound ninja from attacking Konoha."

"You are too modest, my boy," the mysterious old man replied with a playful chuckle, "From what I had heard, you practically stopped the attack single-handedly."

"I only did what any Konoha shinobi would do," Naruto remarked in a matter-of-factly tone, "I defended the village from an invading, hostile force."

"While adding yet another great tale to your legend," the mysterious old man said.

"I couldn't go anywhere in Konoha today without someone spotting me and pointing me out, just to practically sing my name in praise," Naruto remarked with a neutral expression while he sounded seven parts annoyed, three parts disgusted.

"…Have you not yet realized it, my boy?" the mysterious old man asked, "How the village, and the villagers, are just starting to treat you with respect? Treat you the way that you should have been treated from the get-go? They only praise you _now_ because you are the strongest ninja in Konoha, if not the world. They know you are one with the nine-tails sealed deep within you. The masses of the village only respect you because they all _fear_ you."

Turning to regard the mysterious old man, Naruto asked, "And you don't?"

"I do not make myself out to be an exception to the rule," the mysterious old man replied, "Unless one considers the fact that I have at least acknowledged that fear."

"…Hmm," Naruto remarked, "The first step to dealing with a problem is to admit that you have a problem."

"And dealt with my problem I have," the mysterious old man agreed, "And now all I wish to do with what little time I have left is to make up for my fear, my doubting you, my boy."

"And how, pray tell, do you intend to do that, old man?" Naruto asked, regarding the mysterious old man with a curious look.

"All in good time, my boy," the mysterious old man replied with a soft chuckle, "Now then, if I recall correctly, you have a dinner party to which you were invited?"

"…Some wealthy noble living in the Land of Fire wants me to have dinner with him tonight," Naruto replied, "I'm not sure why, though. Maybe it has to do with my efforts during the war."

"Feh," the mysterious old man replied in a sneer, "The buffoon obviously thinks he can bribe his way into your favor, my boy. Are you absolutely required to go to this dinner party?"

"…Not really," Naruto answered, "I mean, I know that I can avoid going to the dinner party if I make up an excuse."

"Then make up an excuse you should," the mysterious old man advised, "It will be a show that one cannot bribe his way to favor, to power."

"I don't know," Naruto replied in an unsure tone, "I mean, the dinner party is being held in a place in the Land of Fire that my fiancé had said she always wanted to go to, and she also expressed an interest in trying the local cuisine in that area…"

"You would let someone else call the shots, to dictate your path?" the mysterious old man asked.

Turning his head to glare at the mysterious old man, Naruto replied in a stern tone, "Well old man, given that my fiancé had pretty much let everyone else in her life just walk all over her, I figured that it's about high time that she got to try the things that she wanted to try, visited the places that she wanted to go to, see what it's like to call some shots."

"Heh, apologizes," the mysterious old man said, "Never let it be said that you don't know how to treat a woman properly, my boy."

"Feh," Naruto scoffed as he turned to face forward again, "About damn time you said something that didn't piss me off somewhat." Standing up straight, Naruto let his arms down as he said, "Now if you'll excuse me old man, I've got a dinner party to go get ready for."

"Of course, my boy," said the mysterious old man, waiving slowly and weakly as Naruto walked away. When Naruto was out of sight, the mysterious old man reached within his robe and pulled out a small, crystal-like sphere. (5) It was a red, murky color, and it glowed with energy.

Looking back up to face the direction in which Naruto walked off in, the mysterious old man said softly, "Of course."

TO BE CONTINUED…

END, GUESS WHO'S BACK CHAPTER SEVEN

Author's notes:

(1) Just for kicks.

(2) I wanted to base a bad guy after one of the campy villains from the older Sentai and rider shows, right down to the way they went out with a bang (although I don't recall one ever shouting 'banzai' as he was blown up).

(3) After he became an official shinobi of Konoha again, Sasuke was given a new Konoha ninja headband, which he wore in the same fashion as he wore his old one.

(4) Although they are few and far between, there _are_ some people who did absolutely nothing to contribute to all of the hell that Naruto went through as he grew up.

(5) Roughly half the size of a standard baseball.

I honestly did not expect this chapter to go on for as long as it did. It wasn't until I reached the part where Hinata slapped Sasuke across the face that I realized I was going to have to break this one up into at least two parts. I certainly have my work cut out for me this time. But never let it be said that I was never up for the challenge…


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.

Guess who's back?

Chapter eight: Return to power

"I thought you said that you could find Naruto!" Ino Yamanaka snapped at Kiba Inuzuka as they, along with Sasuke Uchiha, Shino Aburame and Kiba's ninja dog Akamaru were attempting to find their…troubled friend.

"I said that I had a pretty good idea on where we could find Naruto," Kiba replied in an annoyed tone, "That doesn't necessarily mean that we're guaranteed to find the dude! At best, we had better odds at finding Naruto."

"Oh, you all are trying to find Naruto?" a male voice called out. Turning to face the direction that they all heard the voice come from, Sasuke and company saw Iruka Umino, a chunnin-ranked ninja who was a teacher over at the Hidden Leaf Village Ninja Academy. The man had not changed his overall looks in quite a while. But then again, it is always a comforting thing to see someone familiar.

"Oh, hello Iruka-sensei," Shino greeted as he and the others went up to him. Akamaru started sniffing at Iruka's shins before looking up at Iruka's face, then looking to Iruka's right hand which was hanging by his side, then proceeded to lick the hand.

"Heh, nice to see you too," the ninja teacher remarked with amusement, ruffling the top of Akamaru's head with his free hand.

"You said something about Naruto," Sasuke began.

"Oh yes," Iruka replied as he looked up from petting Akamaru, "I saw Naruto walking past a few minutes ago, when I was over at the oden place, so I called out to him to say hello. He told me that he was on his way back to his place to get ready for some dinner party that a noble living in the Land of Fire invited him to."

"A noble invited Naruto to a dinner party?" Sasuke said, clearly confused by the notion.

"Keep in mind that Naruto is a widely renowned hero for his actions in the fourth great ninja war," Iruka pointed out, "Not to mention the rumors that have been going around about Naruto potentially being made the next Hokage."

"Now that you mention it, back when Lady Tsunade was first made Hokage, nobles living all over the Land of Fire were doing things such as inviting her over to dinner parties and other such events," Ino remarked.

"If you four were hoping to get ahold of Naruto at some point, then I'm afraid that with the dinner party that he's going to, today is just not a good day," Iruka said to the chunnin, "Your best bet would be to wait until sometime tomorrow, probably sometime around the afternoon."

Turning to regard his friends, Sasuke said, "Well guys, you heard the man. Today is not the day. We'll try with a fresh start tomorrow."

After Sasuke's friends agreed that what Sasuke suggested was for the best, Iruka smiled and said, "You've made quite the turn around, Sasuke."

Hearing Iruka speak, Sasuke turned to regard him. "…Excuse me?" Sasuke replied, looking mildly confused.

"Even back in the academy, you seemed more comfortable working alone rather than in a group," Iruka began saying to his old student, "But look at you now, Sasuke. You're working along with others so well, it's as if you've always worked well with others. Students at the academy who show teamwork skills such as what you're displaying right now would earn top marks in teamwork exercises."

Smiling, Sasuke said, "Thank you, Iruka-sensei."

"You're also showing a lot more concern for others than you did back in the academy," Iruka pointed out, "With all due respect, I never recall you showing this much concern for one of your friends."

Smirking in an amused manner, Sasuke said, "Well, I don't recall being one to make friends back when I was still in the academy."

"I'm glad that you've returned to Konoha, Sasuke," Iruka stated, "You've certainly shown a lot more growth since you've returned to Konoha than most any student I've ever taught." Putting a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, Iruka added, "You've certainly done the adults in your life proud."

"What adults, Iruka-sensei?" Kiba asked.

"Well there's Lady Tsunade, who's been looking after Sasuke ever since he came back," Iruka began, "Not to mention the fact that some of your parents have expressed approval over Sasuke's return and desire to better himself." Taking his hand off of Sasuke's shoulder, Iruka added, "And there's also me."

"…Thanks," Sasuke replied with a nod.

"It's no trouble," Iruka replied, "Now then, you kids should probably go on back home now. If you're going to be saving a friend from an anger that's slowly consuming him, you'll need your energy."

Turning to regard his friends, Sasuke said, "Iruka-sensei has a point, you guys. Let's head back home, then regroup sometime tomorrow afternoon."

"Yeah, I gotta get Akamaru home so I can give him dinner," Kiba remarked as he stretched his arms.

"How about we regroup outside of the Hokage office building at one?" Shino recommended.

"That's as good of a time and place as any," Sasuke agreed, "So yeah, everyone. Hokage office building at one." With that, Sasuke and company broke for the evening.

* * *

Naruto Uzumaki was already up and at 'em the following morning. After doing his morning personal hygiene routine, the jonin with long, spikey blonde hair was out the door and out into Konoha. As he walked, a familiar voice coming from within the seal on Naruto's body said, "I'm surprised that you didn't go for more of that fish dish from the dinner party last night."

"Well that vegetable stir fry seemed pretty appetizing, Kurama," Naruto replied mentally to the voice in his seal; conversations such as these between Naruto and the demon sealed within him, Kurama the nine-tailed fox, were par for the course, now that Naruto and Kurama had long since become close friends.

"Your fiancé seemed to have enjoyed herself at the dinner party last night," Kurama remarked, "She also has a surprisingly big appetite for a female human of her age, height and general size."

"I will admit that I did not expect her to eat at least twice as much as I did," Naruto said to the demon fox.

"Well at least your fiancé isn't like those other human females who intentionally starve themselves," Kurama said, "Seriously, Naruto. That is something about the females of your species that I will never understand." (1)

"It's…a human thing," Naruto replied.

"Yeah, well," Kurama began, "You humans are really Woah hold on a minute, I'm feeling that weird presence again!" Naruto looked around upon noticing the mild alarm in the demon fox's tone. After a second of looking around, Naruto spotted the mysterious hooded old man.

"Hail, the conquering hero," the mysterious old man greeted, "I trust that you had a good time at that dinner party last night?"

"…The noble who invited me was trying to get all buddy-buddy with me for most of the party," Naruto remarked.

"As I had anticipated," the mysterious old man replied in an 'I knew it' kind of tone, "Those who have had but a taste of power will always want more, thus they make it their goal in life to gain as much as they can." Pointing to Naruto, the mysterious old man said, "The noble who invited you to that dinner party is clearly no exception."

"…I think that you've pretty much described Orochimaru just now," Naruto remarked.

"Aha!" the mysterious old man laughed, showing the most emotion that Naruto had ever recalled him showing with that laugh, "I have heard talk that you have always had an interest in making others laugh. Now I see that the talk isn't cheap!" Calming himself down back to his usual tone, the mysterious old man continued, "But enough of that. You did not allow the noble to worm his way to the power that he very obviously sought, did you?"

"He made a suggestion to me that pretty much killed whatever good mood I had managed to build up over the course of the evening up to that point," Naruto replied.

"What did the noble suggest to you, my boy?" asked the mysterious old man asked.

"The noble pretty much said that I should call off my engagement to my fiancé so that I can get engaged to his daughter," Naruto replied. (2)

"…Huh," the mysterious old man replied, mildly shocked by what he had been told by Naruto, "Well, I guess it can never be said of that noble that he isn't one to cut right to the chase."

"You're actually defending that bastard?" Naruto asked, looking at the mysterious old man with an incredulous look.

"It is wise to always try and find even the smallest amount of good in people," the mysterious old man said, "However small that the credit that is due may be."

"Feh," Naruto scoffed, "Whatever. I got to get going. I guess I'll be seeing you sometime later, old man."

"Until next time, my boy," the mysterious old man said as he waived farewell. After Naruto turned to leave and was out of sight, the mysterious old man reached into his robe and pulled out the small crystal-like sphere. Its glowing was now not only mildly stronger than before, but was beginning to pulse. "Heh…" the mysterious old man laughed, "…Until next time…"

* * *

Sasuke had regathered with Ino, Shino, Kiba and Akamaru outside the Hokage office building. "So Kiba, out of everyone here, you're the most familiar with Naruto," Sasuke began, "Where do you think we can find him?"

With a casual shrug of his shoulders, Kiba replied, "We might see him swing by the Hyuga clan estate at some point today, so it would probably be a good idea if we planted a steak-out around there."

"The Hyuga clan estate?" Sasuke repeated in a mildly confused tone, "Why would Naruto head over to the Hyuga clan estate?"

"You remember Hinata?" Ino asked.

"Vaguely, but yeah," Sasuke replied with a nod.

Shifting around a bit, Ino continued, "Yeah, Naruto and Hinata are currently…something of an item."

"Wait a minute," Sasuke began, "I thought that Naruto-"

"His crush on Sakura has long since faded, Sasuke," Shino interrupted, anticipating Sasuke's thoughts and filling him in before the last Uchiha could finish.

"So…Naruto's currently dating that girl, huh?" Sasuke said, "…Wait, isn't her dad the leader of the Hyuga clan? One of Konoha's four noble clans? Wouldn't Mr. Hyuga be the kind of person who'd manage the love live of his children in order to maximize the benefit to the clan as a whole? You know, with arranged marriages and the like."

"Yeah, about that, Sasuke," Ino began, "You see, ever since rumors of Naruto-" Ino was cut off when Akamaru, who was looking up into the sky, started barking randomly, drawing the attention of the humans. Looking up in the direction that Akamaru was looking up in, Sasuke and company saw Naruto go by, jumping from rooftop to rooftop.

"Actually, we can talk to Naruto himself about that if you want, Sasuke," Ino remarked somewhat hastily as the Yamanaka chunnin proceeded to jump up onto the rooftop of the closest building and then proceed to jump from rooftop to rooftop after Naruto, prompting Sasuke and the others to give chase.

"Hey Ino, wait up!" Kiba shouted as he and the other guys picked up the pace in an effort to catch up to Ino.

* * *

Over in an open market in the shopping district of Konoha, village citizen Mebuki Haruno was looking at the variety of produce at a vegetable stall. As she picked up and compared two bell peppers to each other to determine which she'd buy, she heard a familiar voice call out, "Mebuki? Fancy seeing you here!" Turning around, Mebuki saw a familiar face coming up.

Smiling, Mebuki said, "Sophia, dear, how have you been?"

"As well as ever," Sophia replied in a kind tone. Noticing the two bell peppers in Mebuki's hands, Sophia remarked, "I see that you're here to buy some bell peppers as well."

"Well Kizashi and I are going to be entertaining some guests at dinner tonight, and Kizashi suggested that I make my stuffed bell peppers for dinner," Mebuki said, "He told the guests we're having tonight about them, and they're eager to give them a try." As she settled on which to the two bell peppers she was holding that she'd buy, Mebuki said as she looked for more good bell peppers, "So Sophia, how's that brother of mine doing?" (3)

"Oh, he and his friend Inoichi are defending Tsume Inuzuka from unwarranted harassment," Sophia replied, "I know that the Inuzuka clan is in some hot water, but Tsume had nothing to do with that business."

Sighing in a knowing tone, Mebuki said, "Yeah, I'd have to agree with you on that one, Sophia. My brother and his friends might not be the brightest bulbs in the box, but there's certainly no way that any of them would ever-"

"Hey Naruto, wait up!" a young adult female's voice called out, cutting Mebuki off and making her and her sister-in-law look up, making them bear witness to Ino, Sasuke, Kiba, Akamaru and Shino hopping from rooftop to rooftop. After the chunnin were out of sight, Mebuki and Sophia looked back down to each other.

"…Wasn't that Michelle's daughter and some friends of hers?" Mebuki asked.

"I think that new boy that's with them is this Sasuke Uchiha boy that I've been hearing about," Sophia said, "Sakura told me about him."

"Oh, so that was Sasuke?" Mebuki replied as she turned back around to face the vegetable stand. Going back to checking bell peppers, Mebuki said, "Boy, won't this make for an interesting story to tell Kizashi when I get back home."

* * *

After a few minutes or so of hopping rooftop to rooftop, Ino stopped and stood on the latest rooftop she landed on, hands on her knees as she breathed hard to catch her breath. "How much stamina does Naruto actually have?!" Ino exclaimed as she huffed in exhaustion, "If that stamina ends up translating to all of Naruto's activities, then Hinata's hit the jackpot!"

"Hey Ino," Sasuke called out as he and the other guys caught up to the Yamanaka chunnin, "Did you lose track of Naruto?"

"That guy has got crazy-like stamina!" Ino cried out as she fell over onto her butt, "I bet even Rock Lee would be hard pressed to keep up with Naruto in a race!"

"Not surprising," Shino remarked as he walked up to Ino. Offering her a hand up, Shino said, "I was half-expecting us to be ultimately unable to catch up to Naruto. From what I heard, he's got some rather powerful lineage that's been known for speed." After he pulled Ino up onto her feet, Shino continued, "From the looks of things, I think that Kiba's earlier suggestion of steaking out the Hyuga clan estate might be out best bet of getting ahold of Naruto."

"Alright then," Sasuke agreed, "Steak-out at the Hyuga clan estate it is. Shino, you and Kiba are friends with that girl that Naruto's apparently seeing, right?" After Shino nodded in the affirmative, Sasuke said, "Then I'll leave it up to you two to lead the way, because I have no idea where the Hyuga clan estate is located."

"Yeah, I have no idea where it is either," Ino remarked, "I'm not as close of a friend of Hinata's as, say, Sakura, so Hinata's never invited me over for girl-stuff. …Come to think of it, I'm not quite sure if Hinata _does_ anything that girls our age normally do."

"Just follow my lead, gentlemen and Ino," Kiba replied, "I know a shortcut to the Hyuga clan estate that will also give us a good view of the place where we can have our steak-out at, so we can wait for Naruto to eventually roll around."

"Let's just hope that his ability to detect nearby chakras won't clue him in on our plan," (4) Shino remarked as he, Sasuke and Ino proceeded to follow Kiba and Akamaru over to the Hyuga clan estate.

* * *

As Sasuke and company made their way over to the vantage point Kiba told them about, they jumped over an alleyway as they hopped from rooftop to rooftop. In this alleyway, they heard a familiar voice say to someone, "So, you're this mysterious person that I've heard people say they've spotted talking to Naruto."

"Wait, that's Hinata I just head talking," Shino said, getting the rest of the group to stop and peek over the edge of the rooftop they were on, looking down into the alleyway below.

What they saw was Hinata confronting a robed individual, the hood of his robe down over his face so that only the bottom half was visible. Sasuke had no idea who this person was, but from what he could tell, it was a man of great age. "What have you been putting into Naruto's head?" Hinata said to the mysterious old man, a look of stern suspicion on her face.

"Nothing but the truth, I assure you young lady," the mysterious old man replied.

"Then would you mind telling me about that glowing crystal sphere in your robe pocket?" Hinata replied.

Confused, Sasuke and company squinted to try and get a better look at the confrontation; it was Sasuke who first noticed that Hinata had her Byakugan active, and the last Uchiha proceeded to inform the rest of the group of this in a hushed whisper. Back down in the alleyway, Hinata pressed onward with her question. "Well?" Hinata asked firmly, "Care to tell me about it? Or do I have to let Naruto know about that crystal sphere? I'm sure he'd be interested in asking you about it the next time he sees you."

Realizing that he had been found out, the mysterious old man pulled the small, crystal-like sphere from his robe pocket. Her gaze shifting slightly to focus somewhat more on the crystal sphere, Hinata said, "It contains chakra." Refocusing her gaze on the mysterious old man, Hinata said, "You haven't been using that thing to syphon chakra out of Naruto, have you?"

"Heavens no," the mysterious old man replied, "That's not how this treasure works at all, young lady, rest assured!"

"Then why is it loaded with chakra?" Hinata asked, the sound of her tone becoming more firm.

Chuckling, the mysterious old man said, "Well, since I've been caught, I might as well come clean." Holding up the crystal sphere, the mysterious old man said, "The reason why this crystal sphere is loaded with chakra is because it is a self-replenishing source of chakra. It cannot hold an infinite pool of chakra, but it can hold enough chakra to completely fill up the reserves of most any Konoha jonin seven times over."

Taking a step back, Hinata replied while still keeping her resolve steeled, "That's…still a lot of chakra."

"And look how it's glow is pulsing," the mysterious old man remarked in a marveling tone, "It's just about full."

"You still haven't explained how it generates chakra," Hinata said in a tone that was somewhat demanding.

"It's generates chakra based on how much anger it senses nearby," the mysterious old man explained causally, "I was lucky enough to find that Naruto already had some degree of anger to deal with. All I had to do was…put the right thoughts in Naruto's head. And thus, I found an unlimited source of anger." Holding up the crystal sphere, the mysterious old man added, "And that unlimited anger translates into unlimited chakra!"

"Not unless I break that crystal sphere first," Hinata replied as she assumed a stance for battle.

"Feh," the mysterious old man scoffed as he held the crystal sphere aloft, allowing the sleeve of his robe to fall down and expose his withered arm and hand, "Do you seriously think that a mere chunnin, especially one as weak as you, stands a chance of defeating me?" Suddenly, chakra came out of the crystal sphere in flares, all of which was absorbed by the mysterious old man. Slowly, the arm and hand of the mysterious old man lost its withered form, becoming younger, gaining muscle.

And it was not just that arm and hand, either; the mysterious old man syphoned enough of the chakra that was generated by the crystal sphere to completely revitalize his form. Having absorbed an amount of chakra that he deemed satisfactory, the mysterious old man threw off his robe. It was at that moment that Hinata took a step back out of shock; the mysterious old man wasn't an old man at all. It was Mizuki, the former instructor over at the Hidden Leaf Village Ninja Academy. Hinata was shocked by what she was seeing; even Sasuke and the others, from their hidden vantage point, could not believe who it was.

"…Ah, now this is better," Mizuki remarked as he looked at his fully restored form, "I'm back to my prime now, back how I was before that failed potion sapped me of my power." (5) Looking back over to Hinata, Mizuki said, "Well, I cannot afford to leave any witnesses, so…" Suddenly, before Hinata had time to react, Mizuki ran up and gave her a backhanded smack to the left side of her head, sending her flying into a pile of garbage bags, instantly knocked out. Hearing faint moaning from the knocked out Hyuga, Mizuki said in a taunting tone, "Oops, looks like you aren't dead yet. I'm going to have to fix that, then."

Suddenly, sensing that someone was jumping down from the air, Mizuki jumped back; he was mildly surprised to see that Sasuke and his friends had jumped down from where they were privately watching the confrontation to stop Mizuki from continuing to go after Hinata. "So, the rumors of your return are true," Mizuki sneered as he eyed Sasuke, "What game are you playing at, Uchiha?"

"One that doesn't involve smacking innocent girls into piles of trash bags, that's for sure," Sasuke replied.

"Yeah, and don't even bother trying to play dumb, Mizuki," Kiba snarled, "We heard everything." To emphasize his owner's anger, Akamaru snarled angrily at Mizuki.

"Hmm…I should actually be thanking you four!" Mizuki declared, surprising Sasuke and company. Explaining himself, Mizuki continued, "Now that I am fully revitalized and my capacity as a ninja restored, I need to test my newly regained power! And what better way to do so than by killing witnesses?"

"Human-beast mimicry!" Kiba yelled as he crouched down, allowing Akamaru to jump onto his back and assume Kiba's form. As Kiba and Akamaru did this, Sasuke wove some hand signs, then brought his hand back as it started emitting electricity whose sparking sounded like the chirping of many birds.

"Fang Over Fang!" Kiba yelled as he and his transformed ninja dog spun at Mizuki at high speeds. Mizuki jumped up into the air to avoid both shinobi and ninja dog alike.

However, as the former academy instructor was in the air, Sasuke came at him with his electrified hand pulled back while shouting, "Chidori: One-Thousand Birds!" Sasuke managed to inflict a grazing hit on Mizuki's right side with the Chidori, but Mizuki landed a punch in Sasuke's stomach, sending the last Uchiha flying back.

As Sasuke recovered from being thrown back, Akamaru, having transformed back to normal, lunged at Mizuki, snarling like an angry dog (which he was). Mizuki quickly dealt a foot slam in Akamaru's left side, sending the large ninja dog flying back and falling against Ino, who was in the middle of preparing a Yamanaka clan technique. Since a large dog was thrown against her, Ino was caught off guard, thus failing to cast her jitsu.

Shino, on the other hand, managed to send a small swarm of his insects at Mizuki, in an attempt to syphon some of his chakra, and hopefully incapacitate the former instructor. However, upon noticing that there were a small number of destruction beetles on his person, Mizuki simply exerted his power, shaking off all of Shino's beetles; most of the beetles were so shocked by the exertion of Mizuki's power that they died instantly. (6)

As Sasuke and his friends regrouped, Mizuki laughed at his opposition. "Oh, this is rich!" the former academy instructor sneered, "And to think this is but the beginning of my return!" Holding up his crystal sphere, Mizuki said, "Thanks to this crystal sphere, not only have I fully returned to power, but I will rise to even greater-"

"Kurama was right," a familiar voice called out, making everyone stop and look around. Before anyone could see it happen, Naruto appeared right in the middle of the confrontation; he was also holding Mizuki's crystal sphere in his right hand.

Turning his head slightly to regard Mizuki, Naruto continued, "Kurama was right in telling me that I shouldn't trust whoever the mysterious old man was." With a casual flick of his wrist, Naruto tossed the crystal sphere up into the air. Then, faster than anyone can react, Naruto backhanded the crystal sphere with his right hand curled into a fist, breaking the crystal sphere instantly, allowing what chakra was left in it to flare out and dissipate.

"NOOOOOOO!" Mizuki yelled. Glaring at Naruto, Mizuki snapped, "Do you realize what you have done, demon fox?!"

"Stopped your plans for revenge?" Ino suggested in a taunting tone.

"Prevented you from taking over the village?" Shino offered.

"Kept you from killing me and the others?" Kiba remarked.

"All of that and more!" Mizuki exclaimed as he seemed to be going off the chain now, "And who's to say I don't deserve power, don't deserve revenge?!"

"Mizuki, you're sounding starting to sound more and more like Orochimaru," Sasuke remarked as he took a step forward, "And trust me when I say that. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if you were actually working for that slippery son of a bitch."

"You have no idea how much you've given up when you turned traitor on Orochimaru, Sasuke," Mizuki growled.

"And YOU have no idea how much I've regained since returning to Konoha," Sasuke retorted.

"Grrr," Mizuki snarled, "I still have more than enough power to defeat you all! I'll do to you all what I did to the Hyuga girl! All of you will-"

"Care to repeat that last part?" Naruto interrupted, giving Mizuki a piercing gaze that Mizuki was too far gone to realize was a look of intent to kill.

"Oh yeah, Naruto," Sasuke said, "Before the others and I confronted Mizuki, we witnessed him backhanding that girl you've been seeing into a pile of trash bags over along the one side of the alleyway that we're-" Acting far faster than anyone could keep up with, Naruto punched Mizuki in the side of his head with such force that the former instructor was knocked over onto the ground, hitting his head hard enough to instantly result in his death.

As he stood over Mizuki's body, Naruto turned his head slightly to regard everything behind him. Within a second, Naruto's gaze found Hinata lying on the pile of trash bags. Seeing that her chest was slowly moving, which indicated breathing, a great deal of Naruto's anger dissipated. "Ino," Naruto began, making the Yamanaka chunnin flinch.

"Y-y-yes, Naruto?" Ino replied in a nervous stutter.

"You've got some degree of experience in using medical jitsu, don't you?" Naruto replied.

Mildly surprised that Naruto wasn't sounding like his usual angry self, Ino said, "Oh. Umm, yes, I do."

"Then please go make sure that Hinata is okay," Naruto replied, "I can see from here that she's still breathing, but being knocked hard into anything is bound to result in some sort of injury." Turning around to regard the body of Mizuki, Naruto said, "I've got to report to Lady Tsunade that I had to kill Mizuki. How he got ahold of that crystal that allowed him to regain his power is beyond me. It's going to warrant some sort of investigation." Looking to where the broken pieces of crystal laid on the ground, Naruto added, "I'll have to ask that some men come by to collect the broken pieces of crystal. And a team from the morgue to collect Mizuki's remains."

Turning around to regard Sasuke and the others one last time before leaving, Naruto said, "Thanks, guys." Before Sasuke or any of the others could reply, Naruto vanished.

"…Wow," Kiba remarked to Sasuke and the others, "I think Naruto's finally taken a chill pill that I've been hoping like hell he'd take."

"That's putting things mildly, Kiba," Sasuke remarked, but agreeing with Kiba all the same.

* * *

All of the remains of the crystal sphere were collected and brought in for study. Also, an autopsy team, formed personally by Lady Tsunade, was set on the task of studying Mizuki's remains over at the morgue, trying to determine the exact extent of the effects of using the destroyed crystal's power. While the medical professionals were going about their task, Sasuke and his friends proceeded to tell their friends about what they learned.

"This is an outrage!" Choji's mother exclaimed when Sasuke and the others came by the Akimichi clan compound to inform Choji of what they had learned, "How dare that vile man try to drag such a sweet young man down a dark path, just for his own benefit! I want to find that Mizuki fellow and give him a piece of my mind!"

"Uhh, mom," Choji said, "Sasuke already said that Naruto killed Mizuki, remember?"

"…I'm still very much angry," Choji's mother insisted.

"Well on the bright side, Naruto's flared-up temper has very clearly died down," Shino remarked, "I daresay that Naruto's returned to normal."

"So, Naruto's back to being the knuckle-headed moron that we all know and love?" Sasuke asked.

"Well, he's still kept the intelligence and maturity that he's gained," Shino replied, "But yes. Our friend Naruto has, for all intents and purposes, come back to us."

"You think Naruto would like it if we invited him over for dinner?" Choji suggested.

"The poor dear doesn't look like he's eating as much as he should," Choji's mother remarked in a tone of agreement.

"You say that about all of my friends, mom," Choji retorted.

"…I'm still right," Choji's mother defended.

Laughing, Kiba said, "Yeah, I figure that I can stay as well, assuming that my ma gives me the thumbs up."

"Yes, you need to eat more as well, Kiba," Mrs. Akimichi remarked, "In fact, all of you need to eat more. Especially you, Ino!"

"Everyone says that I have to eat more," Ino remarked in a sulking tone.

Laughing lightly, Sasuke said, "I'll go get ahold of Naruto. I heard that he was still over at the Hokage office building, so I know I can get ahold of him this time." After Sasuke took his leave from the Akimichi clan compound, he proceeded to make his way to the Hokage office building to grab ahold of Naruto.

As it just so happened, Sasuke ran into Naruto about halfway to his destination. Accompanying Naruto at the time was Sakura and Hinata. "Oh, there you are," Sasuke said as he came up to the group. To Naruto, Sasuke said, "I think Choji and his folks want you over for dinner."

"Choji's mother didn't say anything along the lines of me having to eat more, did she?" Naruto asked.

"She says that about everyone who doesn't belong to the Akimichi clan, Naruto," Sakura said, "You won't believe how often Mrs. Akimichi says that about Ino."

"So, you figure you're in?" Sasuke asked Naruto.

"…Ehh, why not?" Naruto replied with a shrug of his shoulders, "It's getting close to dinner time anyway."

"You figure Mrs. Akimichi would mind if I came along as well?" Sakura asked.

"Knowing her, she wouldn't mind at all if both you and your friend here came along," Sasuke replied to Sakura as he gestured to Hinata.

"I've never tried the Akimichi clan's cooking before," Hinata remarked. Turning to regard Naruto, Hinata said, "Would that be okay with you, dear?"

"Wait, what?" Sasuke exclaimed, taking a step back in surprise, "Naruto, did she just refer to you as 'dear'?! Seems a bit mature since you two are just dating, right?!"

"Oh yeah, Sasuke, that reminds me," Sakura said to the last Uchiha. Pointing to Naruto and Hinata, Sakura stated, "Naruto and Hinata being together isn't simply dating. They're actually engaged."

"They're _WHAT_?!" Sasuke exclaimed, "I mean I knew that they were together since Ino told me, but I had no idea that they were actually engaged!"

"Ino didn't tell you that?" Sakura asked Sasuke, looking at him with an expression of curiosity.

"She was rather vague about the matter," Sasuke admitted, "Does anyone else know?"

"Hmm…the only people I've told are Iruka-sensei and Kakashi-sensei," Naruto replied, "And they both agreed to keep it to themselves. Other than that, the only ones who know are you, Sakura, Hinata's relatives, and whoever else Hinata bothered to inform."

"I'm hoping that Naruto and I can break the news to all of our friends at a big gathering," Hinata remarked, "Luckily, both Ino and Neji-niisan agreed to keep quiet about me and Naruto's engagement." Hearing Hinata say that last part brought a degree of clarity to Sakura's expression.

"So Ino, Choji, Shino, Kiba and Kiba's dog are over at the Akimichi clan compound," Sasuke said, "And with the four of us here, all we have to do is gather is Shikamaru, Neji, Tenten and Rock Lee. Then it'll be a great opportunity to break the news."

"Oh, this is so exciting!" Sakura exclaimed.

"You aren't the one getting married, Sakura," Sasuke pointed out.

"It's still exciting, Sasuke," Sakura replied.

Shrugging in a casual manner, Sasuke replied, "I won't hold that against you."

"Well guys," Naruto said, "We got some friends to gather for a party. Who's with me?" And so, Sasuke and company, smiling and laughing with each other, went about gathering the rest of their friends for a get together, putting the past behind them so that they may continue into what has yet to come.

END, GUESS WHO'S BACK CHAPTER EIGHT

Author's Notes:

(1) You aren't the only one who doesn't understand that, Kurama.

(2) Who WOULDN'T this tick off?

(3) Come on. Harold Fisher was bound to come up in this story at some point.

(4) Naruto can (more or less) do something along these lines.

(5) Remember that one filler arc where Mizuki drank a potion that turned him into a tiger-man? Hoo boy, filler is weird.

(6) Keep in mind that Shino's beetles are rather tiny bugs. Logically, it shouldn't take much effort to kill one in such a manner.

With this chapter, Sasuke had befriended the last of his old friends. Even though he now has everyone in his corner once again, Sasuke still has a few things left to do, such as deal with a blast from his past, watch the rise of a new authority in Konoha, and witness as war is declared, among other things. Still, he's got quite the support base now, so who's to say Sasuke won't be able to see everything through?


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.

Guess who's back?

Chapter nine: Serpent's Strike

It was around midnight one evening in the village of Konohagakure. Sasuke Uchiha, ex-rouge ninja, was fast asleep in his government-provided apartment. The dream he was having wasn't so much an actual dream, rather it was a sort of reel depicting scenes from the past week or so; his return to Konoha after disappearing for the two years after the fourth great ninja war ended, his becoming a ward/agent of Konoha in his quest for redemption, and re-earning the respect and trust of his old friends, one job at a time.

A few days ago, after assisting with taking down ex-academy instructor Mezuki, Sasuke had gained the support of his old teammates, Naruto Uzumaki and Sakura Haruno, along with the support of that girl who is Neji's cousin (Sasuke couldn't remember the girl's name to save his life); with these three, Sasuke had finished re-gaining all of his old friends.

Sasuke's dream had reached the point where, over a dinner at the Akimichi clan compound with all of their friends, Naruto and that girl who is Neji's cousin had revealed to everyone that they were engaged to be married. What followed immediately after Naruto and what's her face breaking the news was Tenten screaming excitedly at the top of her lungs. In a move that was both lucky and unlucky for Sasuke, he woke up right before Tenten started screaming. The last Uchiha was stirred from his sleep by someone knocking at his apartment door. Looking at the analogue clock on his nightstand, Sasuke saw that it was three minutes past midnight.

"…Who the hell in their right mind would be waking someone up at this ungodly hour?" Sasuke mumbled aloud to himself as he got up from bed, left his bedroom, and walked all the way over to his front door. Opening it, Sasuke saw that he was being visited by an adult male Konoha shinobi of the jonin rank; this man, for reasons that escaped Sasuke, bore a striking resemblance to his friend Sakura. In fact, this man looked sort of like an adult male version of Sakura. (1) "Can I…help you, sir?" Sasuke asked, trying to be as polite as possible (which was quite a Herculean feat on Sasuke's part, given the time of night at which this visitor decided to drop by).

"…Crap, this is the wrong apartment," the Konoha shinobi said aloud as he shook his head, allowing his shoulder-length pink hair to shake mildly. To Sasuke, the pink-haired jonin said, "Sorry for waking you up, dude. I was trying to find a relative of my friend Inoichi's who lives in this apartment building. There's some sort of trouble for the Nara clan, and Inoichi wants as many Yamanaka to help out as possible."

"Huh," Sasuke remarked as he started to wake up more and more, "I wasn't aware that there were any relatives of Ino's living here in the apartment building. Wait, what did you say about trouble for the Nara clan?"

"That's none of your concern, young man," the Konoha jonin insisted with a wave of his right hand, "Again, sorry again for causing you this wait a minute." Deviating midway through his response to Sasuke, the Konoha jonin said, "You know Inoichi's daughter?"

"Yeah, I know Ino," Sasuke replied, "She's a friend of mine. In fact, Shikamaru, Choji, Neji and I helped save Ino from this crazy cursed amulet this one time."

Eyeing Sasuke with a look of suspicion on his face, the Konoha jonin said, "You aren't that artsy little son of a bitch who's dating Inoichi's daughter, are you?" Reaching into the weapons pouch on the back of the belt he was wearing, the Konoha jonin continued, "Because I don't have my baseball bat on hand right now, so I'll have to use a-"

"Ino is dating Sai, not me," Sasuke interrupted. Hearing Sasuke's reply made the Konoha jonin pull his hand back out of his weapons pouch, leaving the kunai he was intending to pull out right where it was.

"…So, if you aren't that artsy little turd who's with Inoichi's daughter, then who the hell are you?" the Konoha jonin asked.

"I'm Sasuke Uchiha," replied Sasuke, shifting to his right side. Looking at the Konoha jonin, Sasuke continued, "I take it that you're one of Ino's dad's friends that Ino told me about? The ones who help her dad harass Sai?"

Straightening up, the Konoha jonin held a hand out to Sasuke for a handshake. "The name's Harold Fisher," replied the Konoha jonin, "And let me say that I'm glad to see you aren't that artsy little stain on society who's dating Inoichi's daughter." With three parts trepidation and seven parts confusion, Sasuke accepted Harold's handshake.

"You know, Mr. Fisher," Sasuke began in a conversational tone, "You resemble me and Ino's friend Sakura. Do you know her?"

"Well of course I know Sakura," Harold replied with a good-humored chuckle, "Sakura's my niece." Suddenly, Harold's expression changed from one of good humor to one of suspicion. Eyeing the last Uchiha with a suspicious glare, Harold asked, "You aren't one of those artsy little sonsabitches who arts for their art, are you?"

"…No," Sasuke replied, now all parts confused rather than just seven parts, "I have worse drawing skills than most five-year-old children." Hearing Sasuke admit to having horrific artistic skills, Harold sighed in relief.

Putting a hand on Sasuke's right shoulder, Harold said, "Well, that's one point in your favor. If you can keep up the good work, then I'd have no trouble with you dating my niece."

"Umm," Sasuke replied, sounding as confused as he has been for most of this conversation, "Wouldn't it be more up to Sakura's father if I dated Sakura, rather than up to you?"

"As much as I have mad props for my bro-in-law Kizashi," Harold began, "The dude has no frigg'en clue on how to do the Overprotective Dad shtick. He's gonna have to call me in for back up the day that Sakura brings a boy home."

His patience with Harold starting to wear thin (2), Sasuke said, "Aren't you supposed to be looking for a relative of Ino's who lives here in the apartment building?"

"Oh snap," Harold remarked as he remembered that he was on a mission, "Thanks for the reminder, kid! I gotta find that Yamanaka dude for Inoichi!" Without even offering so much as a good-bye, Harold dashed off. Wondering how in the hell such a man could be related to a girl like Sakura, Sasuke simply closed his door, locked it, then went back to bed.

* * *

Much later that morning, Sasuke was grabbing a to-go cup of coffee from a coffee shop on his way to the Hokage office building, to report to Lady Tsunade for his job for the day. When he walked into the coffee shop, he was surprised to see his friend Sakura Haruno there as well. The two of them ended up talking to each other as they waited in line to make their respective orders. As they waited, Sasuke told Sakura of his encounter in the very early hours of the morning with her uncle.

Face-palming as Sasuke went on with his story, Sakura said, "Oh my God, Sasuke. I am SO sorry that you had to deal with my idiot uncle, and at so ungodly an hour to boot."

"At least he didn't mean any harm," Sasuke remarked casually with a shrug of his shoulders, "Although I get the feeling he most likely would have attacked me if I hadn't told him that I wasn't Sai when he asked me."

Sighing in an exasperated tone, Sakura said, "Yeah, that sounds about right for my uncle. You know Sasuke, even at Naruto's dumbest, he was STILL smarter than my Uncle Harold."

"Come on, Sakura," Sasuke replied, "I'm pretty sure that you're being a little hard on your uncle. The man can't be all that bad, can he?"

"Remember that twenty-page thesis that was published a while ago?" Sakura replied, "You know, the one that discussed the effects of drinking name brand beer versus generic beer?"

"Yeah, I remember that," Sasuke replied, "For a thesis that was about drinking beer, of all things that a thesis could be about, it was not only surprisingly well-researched, but it received critical acclaim." A stunned look of realization appearing on his face, Sasuke looked to his friend and said, "Your uncle wrote that?!" Sakura replied simply by nodding in the affirmative. It was at that point that Sasuke and Sakura reached the front of the line.

As he looked up at the menu, Sasuke said to Sakura, "Well, I suppose that there's all sorts of people in the world, huh?"

* * *

After they had gotten their coffee, Sasuke and Sakura made their way to the Hokage office building; Sasuke so that he could report to Lady Tsunade, the fifth (and current) Hokage, and Sakura to do her various tasks around the Hokage office building for the day. When Sasuke and Sakura walked into the Hokage office building, the first thing that they heard was a coarse woman's voice angrily snap, "Where the hell does that bitch Yoshino get off, huh?!"

"Although Shikaku's wife had no right to give you crap right off the bat," a voice familiar to Sasuke replied to the coarse woman's voice, "Keep in mind that after what her clan suffered due to your clan, you can't quite blame her for being suspicious."

Instantly, Sasuke's and Sakura's attention were drawn to the scene in front of them; Tsunade, with Shizune accompanying her, were talking to three adult Konoha jonin, two of them men and the third a woman, and a large ninja dog that was wearing an eyepatch; Sasuke recognized the two men as Harold Fisher and Inoichi Yamanaka, but he did not know the kunoichi jonin or the ninja dog. The familiar voice that Sasuke recognized was Harold's, and the last Uchiha assumed that the coarse woman's voice came from the kunoichi jonin.

"Umm…sorry for interrupting," Sakura called out to the adults, getting their attention. Gesturing to herself and Sasuke, Sakura continued, "But Sasuke and I just got here, and are looking to do our respective work for the day."

"Ah, well if it isn't little Cherry Bug!" Harold said, his mood obviously turning up for the better as he walked up to the two chunnin, "How's it going, sweetie?"

"Ehh, I've been through loads worse," Sakura replied, her tone obviously sounding embarrassed. Sasuke had to wonder if Sakura's embarrassment was due to running into a wacky relative randomly, or if it was due to being referred to by some embarrassing moniker. The last Uchiha assumed that it was the latter.

"Umm, Uncle Harold," Sakura began in a mildly unsure tone, "I don't mean to pry, but what are you, Mr. Yamanaka and Mrs. Inuzuka doing here?"

"Sakura, as you know, the Inuzuka clan was recently screwing with the Nara clan," Harold said in a mildly serious tone. Gesturing to Sasuke, Harold continued, "Thanks to your friend here, that screwing around was brought to an end."

"Since the Nara clan lost so many of their deer because of ninja from the Inuzuka clan killing them for meat, they've fallen on some hard times," Inoichi continued, "These hard times that they've fallen on has, very understandably, left the Nara clan kind of bitter."

"The Nara clan even acts bitter towards their allied clans, the Yamanaka and the Akimichi, who are trying to help them out," Harold added, "Along with any friendly ninja who tries to help out."

"Wait a minute," Sasuke interrupted. Directing his talk at Harold, Sasuke continued, "Your late-night visit to me last night. You mentioned that the Nara clan is facing some trouble. Is this related to what you mentioned last night?"

Sighing, Harold replied, "I suppose we should clue you in on that, young man." A mildly worried look on his face, Harold turned to face the other adults. "Assuming that it's okay with all y'all."

"I was actually going to have Sasuke take the job of investigating what's been going on," Tsunade remarked, "So letting Sasuke in on what's going on will actually help him do his job."

Having essentially received the go-ahead, Harold turned around to face Sasuke again. "Someone's been stealing machinery, computers and other such gear from the various Nara clan-owned warehouses and other facilities here in Konoha," the Fisher patriarch explained.

"…Seriously?" Sasuke replied, looking mildly confused, "Someone's been stealing tech from the Nara clan?"

"The Nara clan has had the gull to automatically accuse my clan of the thefts," the kunoichi jonin complained, "I mean, sure, some less than thoughtful kunoichi in my clan did kill some of the Nara clan's deer for their meat, but they were only trying to make sure that we got some food! The frig is my clan going to frigg'en do with some frigg'en tech we have no frigg'en idea how to frigg'en work?! Frig!"

"Umm…I'm sorry," Sasuke replied to the kunoichi jonin, "But who are you, miss?"

"Oh yeah, introductions are in order, I suppose," the kunoichi jonin replied. Gesturing to herself and then to the ninja dog, the kunoichi jonin said, "I'm Tsume Inuzuka. And this here in my ninja dog partner Kuromaru."

Noticing the mildly confused look on Sasuke's face, Sakura quickly added, "Mrs. Inuzuka here is Kiba's mother."

"Oh, so she's Kiba's mom?" Sasuke replied to the pink-haired chunnin, "Well that makes sense. I can see the family resemblance." Turning back to face the adults, Sasuke said, "So, let's get back to the subject of someone stealing tech from the Nara clan. What all was stolen?"

"Mostly computers, really," Kuromaru began, "Although a number of other machines have been stolen as well, including incubators, an x-ray machine…basically any scientific-related machine you'd care to name. A few lab supplies have also been stolen, including some beakers, a few glass vials, some-"

"HOLY CRAP THAT DOG CAN TALK!" Sasuke exclaimed, a look of surprise on his face as he pointed at Kuromaru in an accusing manner.

"Yeah, that was my first reaction upon meeting Kuromaru for the first time," Inoichi admitted, "It was Harold's first reaction as well." With a casual shrug, the Yamanaka patriarch added, "Hell, I can count with the fingers on one hand the number of people who did not react to meeting Kuromaru for the first time in such a manner."

"We're getting off subject here," Kuromaru said, "Someone's stealing tech from the Nara clan, and the Nara are accusing the Inuzuka of it. This does not bode well for future interactions between the two clans. Hell, if the Nara's current attitude towards everyone continues, this won't bode well for Konoha as a whole!"

Turning to face Sasuke, Tsunade said, "That's where you come in, Sasuke. I need you to investigate the thefts that the Nara clan have been suffering. If anything strikes you as odd, give me a holler right away, alright?" After Sasuke nodded in the affirmative, acknowledging his latest assignment, Tsunade replied, "Good. Oh, can you take Sakura with you?"

"Huh?" Sakura said in a confused manner, "You want me to help Sasuke with the investigation, Lady Tsunade? What for?"

"The investigation should include checking out the various Nara clan-owned warehouses, which means going out and walking outside with the sun overhead," Tsunade began. Seeing the confused look on her apprentice's face, Tsunade sighed and said, "Sakura, I'm sorry. But with all due respect, you NEED to get out into the sun more. You're as pale as sin!"

"Yeah, I've been saying the same about Sakura for years, Lady T," Harold remarked to the Fifth Hokage, "Hell, Kizashi's got our back on this matter."

Sighing in a defeated tone, Sakura turned to face Sasuke. "Well, Sasuke," the pink-haired chunnin remarked in a resigned tone, "Let's get to work, huh?"

* * *

Together, Sasuke and Sakura proceeded to head over to the Nara clan-owned warehouse that was the latest location of the series of thefts against the Nara clan. On the way, Sakura made a quick series of calls on her cell phone. Slipping the cell phone into her pocket, Sakura turned to face Sasuke and said, "Alright, we got a four-man team for this mission."

"Really?" the last Uchiha replied, turning to face his pink-haired companion, "Who did you call up to join us?"

"Well first I called Ino, but she said that she was busy," Sakura replied, "Then I tried Tenten, but she said that she and Neji are both caught up in trying to help Gai-sensei get Rock Lee to calm down after he had unknowingly consumed some alcohol."

A wincing look on his face, Sasuke remarked, "Yeesh. Yeah, I remember hearing about the craziness that can happen if Rock Lee is exposed to alcohol."

"Then I tried Hinata," Sakura continued, "Because when Tenten brought up the fact that Neji was helping her and Gai-sensei, that gave me the idea that having someone with the Byakugan on our team could help us with the investigation."

"So, did she agree to help?" Sasuke asked.

Nodding in the affirmative, Sakura replied, "Not only did Hinata agree to meet us over at the Nara clan warehouse we're heading to, but she's bringing Naruto along as well."

"Really?" Sasuke said, "Naruto's going to be pitching in as well?"

"Yeah," Sakura replied in a tone that sounded mildly embarrassed, "When I called Hinata, she and Naruto were out on a date grabbing lunch." Looking a bit downcast, Sakura added, "I feel kind of guilty interrupting their date like this."

"Well you have no way of knowing what they were up to," Sasuke offered, "Hell, your uncle had no idea that I was asleep when he knocked on my door."

"My uncle has no idea about anything at all," Sakura replied in a mildly snarky tone, "Unless it involves beer."

"I can see why you'd make that comment," Sasuke said, "But more about ragging on idiotic relatives later. We got a series of thefts to investigate. Let's get over to the Nara clan-owned warehouse quickly." Nodding in agreement, Sakura continued to follow after Sasuke.

* * *

A few minutes later, Sasuke and Sakura had made it to the Nara clan-owned warehouse that was the sight of the latest theft against the Nara clan. Almost right away, Sakura spotted Hinata waiting outside of a waist-high gate that allowed people into the fenced-in land that the warehouse was located. Running over to her friend, Sakura called out, "Hey, Hinata! Over here!" Hearing Sakura calling out, Hinata looked around and found Sakura approaching within a few seconds.

Smiling upon seeing her friend, Hinata waived back. When Sakura had finally gotten close enough to the Hyuga chunnin, Hinata said, "It's great to see you too, Sakura."

Rubbing the back of her head in a manner that conveyed her embarrassment, Sakura said, "Yeah, sorry about interrupting the date you and Naruto were on."

Holing up a hand to cut off any argument that Sakura might have made, Hinata replied, "It's no trouble at all. In fact, around the time your call came in, I was about to ask Naruto if we could leave the sub place where we were having lunch."

A mildly curious look on her face, Sakura asked, "What? Why?"

"These two Inuzuka clan kunoichi came into the sub place where Naruto and I were eating to get lunch," Hinata began to explain in a mildly uncomfortable tone, "And I noticed that at least one of them was giving me an angry look."

"Wait, did you say Inuzuka clan?" Sasuke said as he came up; having seen Sakura run off, the last Uchiha gave chase, and came up to the two kunoichi chunnin right when Hinata brought up who was giving her the evil eye.

Seeing Sasuke, Hinata waited a second before finally deciding to let him in on what had happened. Nodding in the affirmative, Hinata continued, "I think it all has to do with the huge debt that the Inuzuka clan owes the Hyuga clan, along with other problems concerning Hyuga-Inuzuka relations at the moment."

"Lady Tsunade told me that she's working on making changes to the various assistance programs that were made by Lord Second to help the financially struggling so that ninja can apply for them as well," Sakura remarked, "But it's slow going at the moment. Especially since there a _very_ vocal minority who's arguing for not extending the programs to help ninja."

"Well that's just stupid," a familiar voice remarked in an annoyed tone, making Sasuke and the girls turn to see Naruto come walking up. "If this whole mess about ninjas who are financially struggling not having access to the assistance programs is still a persistent problem when I become Hokage, then I'm going to give that vocal minority a big metaphorical middle finger and push the needed changes into law," remarked the blonde jonin.

"That might not be the best idea, Naruto," Sakura said, "The vocal minority in question consists exclusively of Konoha's wealthiest individuals. Due to the combined affluence that they hold, it's in the best interest of whoever is Hokage to keep them happy."

"Wait a minute," Sasuke interrupted, "Are you saying that the reason why most financially struggling ninja are in the position that they're in is because Konoha's one percent more or less wants them to stay that way?"

Looking mildly downcast, Sakura replied in a somber tone, "That's…pretty much a spot-on summarization of the situation, Sasuke."

Scoffing in an annoyed tone, Sasuke said, "The hell do they get off on?! What right do they have to screw folks over like that?!"

"As upsetting as such a revelation is, we should discuss this later," Hinata interrupted, "We've got a series of thefts to investigate here."

"Hinata's right," Naruto said to Sasuke and Sakura, "We'll go into detail about this later. For now, we have to help Shikamaru and his folks."

* * *

A few minutes later, Sasuke and company were in the living room of Shikamaru's place, asking Shikaku and Yoshino, along with Shikamaru, a few questions.

"For the last time, Mrs. Nara," Naruto said in a tone that clearly sounded like a mix of being strained and being annoyed, "Kiba did not steal anything from you or your clan."

"And what makes you so sure, young man?!" Yoshino snapped, "He's a filthy Inuzuka! They're all the frigg'en same, if you ask me! They kill our deer, they let their dogs relieve themselves wherever, and they have recently taken it upon themselves to harass the Hyuga!"

"Mom, Naruto's right," Shikamaru interrupted, "Kiba would never steal from us!"

"Why are you defending that thief, Shikamaru?!" Yoshino snapped at her son.

"Because Kiba and I have been friends since early childhood," Shikamaru replied, "And Kiba is never one to betray his friends in any manner."

"Shikamaru raises an excellent point, dear," Shikaku pointed out to his wife, "Judging our son's friend by what clan he belongs to, rather than by his own individual traits and faults, is not doing the boy justice. Besides, Kiba always cleans up after his dog."

"I'll still chase off any Inuzuka who gets within eyesight of the Nara clan," Yoshino grumbled as she walked off into the kitchen.

After Yoshino was gone, Shikamaru and his dad turned to face Sasuke and company. "Sorry you kids had to see that," Shikaku apologized, "But you can't quite blame my wife for jumping to such wild conclusions. Most Nara clan women have been acting in such a manner."

"The Nara clan men, on the other hand," Shikamaru added, "Are nowhere near as hostile or accusing towards the Inuzuka. Besides which, the Inuzuka clan has no possible use for the tech that was stolen from our clan."

"Speaking of," Sasuke began, "We were wondering if you could give us any information regarding the thefts. Did you guys find any clues? A hint that might lead us in the right direction?"

"Hmm," Shikaku said as he held a hand to his chin, giving him the look of someone deep in thought. After a few seconds, Shikaku said, "Aha! Yeah, follow me, kids."

After a minute or so, Shikaku and Shikamaru brought Sasuke and company over to one of the warehouses that the Nara clan owns. Leading them over to a table in one of the lab rooms, Shikaku gestured to a small display case and said, "This was found at the sight of the latest theft." Seeing what Shikamaru's dad was pointing out, Sasuke could not help but gasp in shock.

Inside the display case was a molted snake skin.

"The theft happened at this very warehouse, as a matter of fact," Shikaku went on, "Some microscopes were stolen."

"Do you have any idea what direction the thief might have taken off in?" Sasuke asked, turning quickly on his heels to face Shikaku.

"Hmm?" Shikaku remarked in a questioning tone as he regarded the last Uchiha, "What makes you think that there's only one thief?"

"Please, just answer my question," Sasuke replied.

Seeing the look of mild worry on Sasuke's face, Shikamaru said, "Do…do you have an idea who the thief might be, Sasuke?"

"Naruto, the girls and I will go on ahead to follow whatever path the thief took," Sasuke explained, the mild hint of worry never leaving his voice, "But as soon as we go on ahead, I need you to go to Lady Tsunade and get her to send as many available shinobi as possible to come after us to help. It'd be ideal if as many of those shinobi as possible were highly skilled jonin."

It was then that Sakura picked up on Sasuke's tone. "Are…are you okay, Sasuke?" asked the pink-haired chunnin.

"We're going now," Sasuke ordered more than said, "We just need to know which way the thief left."

"I'll take you the path where I think the thief most likely took off down after he stole the microscopes," Shikaku replied as he gestured for Sasuke and company to follow him.

* * *

As Sasuke and company hopped from tree to tree down the path that Shikaku said the (supposedly) lone thief took, Naruto and the girls regarded Sasuke with some concern. "Hey Sasuke," Sakura called out in a concerned tone, "What has you so spooked?"

After the last Uchiha failed to reply to Sakura's question for about half a minute, Naruto decided to try giving it a go. "Shikamaru made a comment about you potentially knowing who the thief is," Naruto remarked, "Is that true?"

"…Yes," Sasuke replied at last as he stopped; Naruto and the girls all stopped as well.

"Then who, pray tell, do you think the thief is?" asked the blonde jonin.

"…If I tell you guys, you'll either dismiss what I say as a lie, or you'll believe me and freak out as a result," Sasuke said, his tone showing how unsure he was.

"Pfft," Sakura snorted in a dismissive tone, "You underestimate us, Sasuke. Who can cause you to worry so much, especially after all that you've accomplished since your return to Konoha?"

After a beat that lasted a few seconds and yet it felt much longer than that, the last Uchiha finally said, "Orochimaru."

The reactions he got from his teammates were varied; Sakura had a giggle fit which clearly conveyed the notion that she thought Sasuke was merely joking, Hinata crouched down into a fetal position with her hands on the sides of her head as she started screaming in a freaked-out tone, and Naruto regarded his friend with a casual look as he said, "Yeah, that sounds about right, given that bastard's history."

"Now do you all see why I was freaking out earlier?" Sasuke asked his friends, and added when he gestured to Hinata, "And why she's currently freaking out right now?"

As Naruto went over to his panicking fiancé to comfort her, Sakura turned to regard Sasuke, her giggling fit more or less finished. "Now I see why you asked Shikamaru to have Lady Tsunade send as many available jonin as possible to come back us up," Sakura remarked, "If we really are dealing with Orochimaru he-"

Sakura was interrupted when Hinata, hearing Orochimaru's name spoken again, screamed loudly in fear once again.

"…If we really are dealing with _that man_ like you think we are," Sakura said to Sasuke as she tried to continue, "Then all of this worry and caution you've been showing is very much warranted."

"I have a question, Sasuke," Naruto said as he came over to where Sasuke and Sakura were at, "If you're so worried that you asked for heavy reinforcements, then why are we going on ahead instead of waiting for said reinforcements to catch up to us?"

"I…I don't know, alright?!" Sasuke exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air in frustration. Turning around, Sasuke said, "This whole mess of Or-" Sasuke was cut off when Naruto quickly put a hand over his mouth; as the last Uchiha regarded Naruto with confusion, the blonde jonin pointed to Hinata, who was still crouched down in a fetal position with her hands on the sides of her head with a very freaked-out look on her face (luckily the screaming died down a great deal).

"…This whole mess of _that man_ showing his ugly face once again after all of this time has me freaking out!" Sasuke continued, "I mean, what if he tries tempting me to join him again? What if he undoes all that I've done since I returned to Konoha?! I'm done with that monster, and yet I'm doubting that he thinks he's done with me!"

In response, Naruto laid a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. Looking his friend in the eye, Naruto said, "We won't let him do anything, Sasuke."

"Naruto's right, Sasuke," Sakura added, "You're better than Or- err… _that man_. You've beaten him once before, right?"

"Yeah," Sasuke replied, "When he was bedridden and close to dying. And even then, he put up one hell of a fight. And yet he somehow managed to return to top condition after that!"

"You've gotten loads stronger since that fight from over two years ago," Naruto said to the last Uchiha, "Besides, you aren't alone on this."

Regarding Naruto with some confusion, Sasuke said, "What are you talking about? You _do_ know what _that man_ is capable of, right?"

"Do you know what _we_ ' _re_ capable of?" Sakura remarked, drawing Sasuke's attention over to her.

With the last Uchiha's attention on her, Sakura continued, "Not only have I been studying under Lady Tsunade since I was twelve, but I've trained under her as well." Pounding a fist into her hand, Sakura said, "You'd be surprised how strong I am, Sasuke."

"And if you thought what I did to all of those Oto ninja was crazy," Naruto added as he pounded a fist into his hand himself, "You should see what I can do when I let loose."

Looking over Naruto's shoulder to see the cowering Hyuga, Sasuke shouted, "What about you?"

"I…I'm okay," Hinata replied as she waived back as she slowly got up from her fetal position, "I just…I just needed a minute."

Regarding all of his friends, Sasuke said, "Well…alright. Let's go see what we can do."

"I'm still all for waiting for that backup, in case anyone was wondering," Hinata remarked as the team continued to make their way to where Orochimaru was supposedly at.

* * *

Eventually, Sasuke and the others made their way to a two-story house in the middle of the woods. Kicking the door open, Sasuke led his friends inside. "Hinata," Naruto began, "Can you take a look around with your Byakugan?"

Nodding in understanding, Hinata activated her ocular powers and began to scan the entirety of the building. "…There's no one on this floor or the floor above us," Hinata replied, "But there's a person in the floor below us, in a room with loads of various scientific equipment."

"Alright, let's find our way down," Sasuke said as he and the others then proceeded to look for the stairs down into the basement. It was Hinata, with her Byakugan helping out loads, who found the way down to the basement.

With Sasuke leading the charge, the team all rushed down the stairs. In the basement, they all continued to run until Hinata stopped in front of a door. "In here," Hinata said, and without any warning, Sasuke blasted the door off its hinges with a Chidori, utterly smashing it into pieces. When they all ran inside, the man that was in the room turned around from facing all of his technology to regard them; judging by how quickly he spun on his heels, the man was caught by surprise.

However, upon seeing his unexpected guests, the man instantly calmed down, then spoke as if her were regarding an old friend. "Ah," the man said, "Well if it isn't you, my dear Sasuke."

"Cut the crap, Orochimaru!" Sasuke snapped angrily at the rouge sannin, "What the hell are you up to?!"

"Ah, I see that time has not improved your manners, Sasuke," Orochimaru remarked, his calm tone unwavering, "Quite a shame, really."

"And I see that time hasn't made you any less of a creep," Sakura spat, eyeing Orochimaru with a surprisingly high amount of hate (well, it's a surprisingly high amount coming from Sakura).

"…Your friends could do with a lesson in manners as well, Sasuke," Orochimaru said, paying the pink-haired chunnin no mind, "And here I thought that Tsunade would bother teaching her little pet some man- Oh, that reminds me."

Now Orochimaru was finally bothering to give some thought to Sakura. Turning to regard her, Orochimaru said, "You _are_ Tsunade's little pet, are you not?" With a smirk that was equal parts mischievous and malicious, the rouge sannin said, "I wonder how Tsunade would feel if I sent her a little… 'present'…"

Without warning, Orochimaru sent a number of snakes, all of them baring their fangs, flying from his sleeves at Sasuke and company; although all four of them would get hit, it was clear that Sakura would be taking the most hits by far.

…However, a large shroud of yellow-orange chakra, in the shape of a fox's head, appeared out of nowhere, acting as a sort of dome-shield that covered Sasuke and company. Two of the snakes bounced off of the chakra shroud before burning up; all of the others burned up instantly on impact.

"Yeah, I don't think so," Naruto said; although Sasuke could very easily tell that it was Naruto who was speaking, it didn't quite sound like him. It was then that Sasuke noticed that Naruto's pupils had become vertical slits. Naruto was also completely covered in the yellow chakra, making him look like a giant yellow human-shaped nightlight.

"Umm…" Sasuke said as he regarded the blonde jonin, "…What is-"

Scoffing in an annoyed tone, Orochimaru said, "I forgot that your little blonde friend here is a Jinchuriki, Sasuke. This will be more troublesome then I-"

A loud computerized beeping noise coming from behind made the rouge sannin turn to regard his computers. There were lights flashing, noises going off, and every computer screen displayed the word 'ERROR' in big bold capital letters.

"No!" Orochimaru exclaimed in worry, "My secret project!" Paying no mind to Sasuke and company, Orochimaru rushed over to his stolen tech to try and get everything back to normal. "My computers…" Orochimaru said loudly in shock, "My technology! All of it has been hacked!"

"A hacker got into Orochimaru's computers?" Sakura remarked in surprise as the chakra shroud that Naruto conjured faded, along with the chakra covering Naruto going back inside his body.

"…Yeah," Sasuke remarked, his tone sounding just as surprised (and confused) as Sakura's tone, "Who could have-"

"Ah, Sakura!" a familiar voice called out while interrupting Sasuke, "Glad that we found either you or Ino!"

Turning around, Sasuke and company saw Harold Fisher and Inoichi Yamanaka walk into the room that everyone was in (it was Harold who had called out). Both men were fiddling with smart phones, completely ignorant of the fact that Orochimaru was about a dozen or so feet away from them.

"Uncle Harold?!" Sakura exclaimed, "What are you and Mr. Yamanaka doing here?!"

"Your uncle and I both got ourselves some new phones," Inoichi explained casually, both men still not looking up from their smart phones, "But neither of us can figure out how to get the blasted things to work."

"We were hoping to find either you or Ino so you could help us figure these things out," Harold replied.

As the two adult jonin continued to fiddle with their smart phones, Orochimaru's computers and various stolen tech were continuing to go crazy.

Noticing that Orochimaru's stolen tech going crazy started around the same time the two adult jonin came in while fiddling around on their smart phones, Sasuke shouted at the two adult jonin, "Try tapping random apps!"

"The frig are apps?" Inoichi replied in a tone of total confusion as his right index finger hovered over the screen of his smart phone for a few seconds before coming down randomly; at the same time this happened, one of the computer monitors that Orochimaru stole blew out; the screen exploded and smoke came billowing out of the hole on the now defunct monitor's screen.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Orochimaru screamed as his computer monitors blew out in a similar fashion one by one, "My plan! It's ruined! RUINED!" Suddenly, with all of the computer monitors blowing out all at the same time, the combined blasts shook the wall of monitors so much that there was an avalanche of computer monitors. Seeing everything about to fall on him, Orochimaru cried out, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Sasuke and company shielded themselves from the dust that was kicked up by the avalanche of computers; then the dust settled, they saw Orochimaru buried under a large pile of computer monitors, with only his head and the top half of his right arm sticking out; the rouge sannin was quite pinned. Sobbing in defeat, Orochimaru cried, "Can this get any worse for me?"

At that moment, Rock Lee came running into the room. "I came as soon as Lady Tsunade said you needed back up, Sasuke-kun!" Rock Lee stated upon arrival.

Hearing Rock Lee's voice, Orochimaru said in a shocked, worried and annoyed tone, "No…"

"I unknowingly drank something that had a mild amount of alcohol in it," Rock Lee said, "But luckily for me, Gai-sensei and my teammates were able to get me sober within short order."

"No, no, no," Orochimaru said as he slowly went into a crying fit.

* * *

Later, as a number of Konoha shinobi, most of which were of the jonin rank, arrived on the scene to apprehend Orochimaru (who surprisingly offered no resistance at all), the rest of Sasuke's friends all came over to where Sasuke was at with Naruto, Sakura, Hinata, Inoichi and Harold. The two adult jonin were still fiddling around with their respective smart phones.

"Dad?!" Ino exclaimed as she saw her father standing next to Sasuke and the others, "What are you doing here?!"

Looking up from his smart phone, Inoichi said, "Oh, Ino! Yeah, my friend Harold and I were hoping to find you and/or your friend Sakura to help us."

"Help you with what?" Ino asked, her tone clearly showing how embarrassed she was that her father had shown up randomly.

"Your father and my uncle both wandered into Orochimaru's lair as Sasuke, Naruto, Hinata and I were confronting Orochimaru," Sakura explained, "As they fiddled around with their smart phones. They were hoping that one of us could help them figure out how to get the phones to work for them."

"As it turns out, it was Orochimaru who was stealing various tech from the Nara clan," Sasuke explained, "We have no idea what that slippery bastard had planned, but no way in hell will whatever plan he had go through now."

"What do you mean?" Neji asked as he and Tenten stepped forward, "Also, where's Rock Lee?"

"He's over there, helping some other Konoha jonin organize the stuff recovered from Orochimaru's lair," Naruto explained, pointing out where Rock Lee was helping to carry the recovered tech to various examination tables.

"To answer your first question, Neji," Sasuke continued, "From what we can tell, the computers that Orochimaru stole were all hacked by Mr. Fisher and Mr. Yamanaka, who did so by fiddling around on their smart phones."

"They…" Ino said, clearly stunned, "…They managed to hack computers by fiddling around on their smart phones?"

"And all Harold and I were trying to do was get the damn phones to make calls," Inoichi remarked, "Also, what's this again about Harold and I wandering into a lair occupied by Orochimaru?"

Sighing in a defeated tone, Ino said, "Who were you trying to call, dad?"

"Your mother," Inoichi replied, "I wanted to ask her if there were any groceries that I should pick up on my way home."

"I was trying to call my wife so that I could ask her if I had to pick anything up on the way home as well," Harold added.

Not even wanting to bother, Sakura and Ino simply asked their respective adult relatives for their smart phones, punched in the appropriate numbers, let the calls go through, then handed the phones back to their respective owners.

"Hello, Michelle?" Inoichi said into the phone, "…Oh thank goodness this new phone of mine actually works! Yeah, Ino's here and I had her put the number in for me so I could call you. Anywho, are there any groceries I should pick up on my way home?"

As Inoichi and Harold handled their respective calls, Sasuke and his friends all looked at each other. "…Ino's dad and Sakura's uncle managed to hack the computers that Orochimaru stole," Shikamaru began in a monotone of disbelief, "By fiddling around on smart phones. And they were only trying to call their respective wives to ask about any groceries they should get on the way home."

Both Sakura and Ino face-palmed in embarrassment, with Ino saying, "Everyone, I'd like to introduce my father."

END, GUESS WHO'S BACK CHAPTER NINE

Author's Notes:

(1) Come on. He was going to show up here eventually.

(2) This would not take long for most folks.

So, that takes care of chapter nine. I'm still debating what to do with chapter ten, as I have a number of ideas for what I want to put into words. But once I figure out what direction I want to take, I'll get right on it.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.

Guess who's back?

Chapter ten: Love rebloomed

"Let's hear it for our bud Sasuke Uchiha!" proclaimed Kiba Inuzuka; all of the ninja who had once been known as the 'rookie nine', along with the students Might Gai, had gathered at a barbecue grill for a celebratory dinner one evening. The gathering was to celebrate the latest success of their friend Sasuke Uchiha who, in recent events, had returned to Konoha on a quest for redemption. To be completely fair, Sasuke's quote unquote 'latest success' was actually a joint effort between Sasuke and his friends Naruto Uzumaki and Sakura Haruno, plus Hinata Hyuga, Sakura's friend and Naruto's fiancé.

In Kiba's defense, however, Sasuke _did_ lead the team. So, one could excuse Kiba's shifting of all of the credit to Sasuke.

As the twelve ninja, ranging in rank from chunnin to jonin, all enjoyed their barbecue dinner, a number of conversations were happening between smaller groups. For example, there was the conversation between the girls at the one end of the table, where they were whispering to each other. "So Hinata," Ino began as she and the others girls focused on the member of the female quartet that was engaged, "Have you and Naruto yet to…well…you know…"

"Oh, goodness no!" Hinata exclaimed in a whisper (1), having realized what the Yamanaka chunnin was asking, "I mean, my religion doesn't necessarily forbid what you're asking about prior to marriage, but it would rather that I wait until _after_ Naruto and I are married before we do what you're asking about. Personally, I'd want to wait until after marriage either way."

"Has Naruto even suggested that the two of you try it out?" Tenten asked, a sly look on her face.

"No, not yet," Hinata replied with a gentle shake of her head, "But I'm confident that he'll respect my wishes on the matter." Over at the other end of the table, Sasuke, Shikamaru and Neji were having a different yet similar conversation with Naruto.

"So, tell us Naruto," Neji began in an unsure whisper as he and the other three guys leaned in, "Have you and Lady Hinata yet to…well…you know…"

"I'm getting the vibe from Hinata that she wants to wait until after we're married before we do that," Naruto replied, "That being said, I'm going to respect her wishes on the matter."

"And to think," Shikamaru whispered to Sasuke as he turned to face him. Jerking a thumb at Naruto, Shikamaru continued, " _This guy_ was trained by a man who was a known pervert."

"…You're going to have to be a little more specific," Sasuke replied, "Naruto was trained by two men who have been known to have perverted tendencies. Three if you count that short stint with that Ebisu fellow."

"Hey Sasuke!" Choji said loudly as he stood up, breaking both of the hushed conversations happening at the ends of the table at the same time.

With all eyes on Sasuke, the last Uchiha asked, "What is it, Choji?"

"Now that your whole 'community service' stint under Lady Tsunade is over," Choji began, "What do you plan to do now?"

"Who ever said that my community service was over?" Sasuke replied, arching an eyebrow in mild confusion at Choji.

"Come on, dude," Kiba remarked as all focus went to the Inuzuka chunnin, "You lead the effort that defeated and captured Orochimaru! If that's not worth a free pass, then I have no frigg'en clue what is!" Sitting on the floor next to the chair Kiba occupied, Akamaru, Kiba's loyal ninja dog, gave a single woof whose tone suggested that the dog was agreeing with his owner.

"Choji and Kiba both raise excellent points, Sasuke," Sakura remarked, "In fact, we should probably ask Lady Tsunade about it tomorrow when you report to her."

Nodding once in agreement, the last Uchiha said, "Well, I suppose that it wouldn't hurt to at least ask how my progress in my community service is going."

"Well alright!" Kiba exclaimed as he raised a glass of soda, "Let's hear it for our bud Sasuke!" At that prompting, everyone at the table raised their glasses in a toast to Sasuke. After everyone lowered their glasses, Akamaru grumbled something to Kiba. "I don't think that's an appropriate question to ask, dude," the Inuzuka chunnin replied to his ninja dog. (2)

* * *

After everyone was done with dinner, they all paid for their meal and proceeded to go their separate ways; Naruto was walking Hinata home, and all of the guys minus Sasuke left right away; Sasuke stuck around only to give one last 'good-bye, see you all later' to Sakura, Ino and Tenten before heading back home to his government-provided apartment. Alone, the three remaining girls proceeded to walk and talk under the light of the moon.

"…And that's why I'm jealous of you and Hinata," Sakura said to Ino as she was finishing up an explanation, "I mean, you got a boyfriend, and Hinata's got a fiancé!" Sulking somewhat, Sakura remarked somberly, "When will _my_ love life kick off?"

"Well…look on the bright side!" Ino began, "You aren't the only single girl in our circle of friends. There's also Tenten, remember?"

"Umm, about that, Ino," Tenten replied tentatively, "Umm…Neji and I have been dating."

"What?!" the Yamanaka chunnin exclaimed in surprise, "Since when?!"

"Since sometime before Neji, Rock Lee and I were rescued by Sasuke from the gambler's den," replied the weapons master.

"Well why didn't you say anything?!" Ino remarked, her tone suggesting that Tenten should be ashamed of herself for withholding this information.

In response, Tenten merely placed her hands on the sides of Ino's head and manually turned Ino's head so that the Yamanaka chunnin faced Sakura; the pink-haired medic ninja looked utterly deflated due to the realization that she was the last girl in her circle of friends to have gotten into a romantic relationship. Sakura was so depressed that she didn't even notice anything that was going on right after Tenten confessed to have started a relationship with Neji. "I asked Neji if we could refrain from letting anyone know about us dating until after Sakura found someone," Tenten whispered into Ino's ear, "But you saying that I wasn't in a relationship sort of prompted me to spill the beans a bit early."

"Oh," Ino replied in a mildly somber tone. Her tone picking up quickly, Ino continued to say to Tenten, "That still doesn't excuse you not telling me."

In a dry monotone, Tenten replied, "Name one time you've managed to keep a secret." Ino looked like she was about to argue with Tenten, but the Yamanaka chunnin found herself unable to say anything, realizing that the weapons master had a point.

Turning her attention to Sakura, Tenten said, "Hey, cheer up, Sakura. Ino and I will help you find a guy!"

"I think I just want to be alone for now," the pink-haired medic ninja replied in a moan as she walked off on her own.

"Should…" Ino began in an unsure tone as she and Tenten watched their friend walk away, "…Should we go after her?"

"Actually, I believe that leaving Sakura be is the best course of action right now," Tenten said, after giving the notion a moment's thought, "In situations like this, it's best if the girl in question has time to herself."

* * *

A few minutes later, Sakura was by herself as she walked down the street. Encountering a public trash can, Sakura kicked it in frustration; the kick not only tore the trash can off of where it was bolted into the road next to a public bench, but had also sent it flying in a random direction. (3) Sakura, who was too frustrated over being the last girl in her circle of friends to have started a romantic relationship, didn't feel worry or embarrassment over sending a trash can flying.

"Of course," Sakura mumbled to herself, "Of course _I_ ' _m_ the last girl in my group of friends to find love. Figures, too!" Somberly, Sakura placed her right hand over her forehead, which had a reputation of being more spacious than most foreheads. Frowning over remembering the size of her forehead, Sakura then held her hands over her upper chest area, just half an inch over her assets. Assets that have a reputation of not being as big as they should be. "I'm…" Sakura said quietly to herself in a sad tone, "…not all that pretty."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that," a mysterious voice called out, snapping the pink-haired medic ninja out of her depressed stupor, "In fact, I'd say that you're very pretty…for a _hostage_."

"Huh?" Sakura said in an alarmed tone, quickly looking around for the source of that sentence, "Who said that? Who's the-" Sakura was cut off, however, when a sharp blow to the back of her head knocked her out.

* * *

The following morning, Sasuke Uchiha, having done his getting ready routine for the day, made his way to the Hokage office building to see what work Lady Tsunade, the fifth (and current) Hokage, had for him today. …Assuming, of course, that Sasuke _still_ had to do work for Tsunade. " _Choji_ , _Kiba and Sakura all had a point last night_ ," the last Uchiha thought as he walked along his usual path to the Hokage office building, " _Maybe I should ask Lady Tsunade about the progress of my community service_."

When Sasuke walked into the Hokage office building, all thoughts about his community service progress flew out of his mind as he was ambushed (metaphorically) by two grown men; Sasuke recognized the one man as Harold Fisher, Sakura's wacky uncle. The second man, however, did not ring any bells in Sasuke's mind. The man did have an interesting hairstyle, though; although Sasuke himself would _never_ want to style his own hair in such a fashion, the last Uchiha could not help but admire how impressive such a style was.

"You're that one boy who's friends with Sakura, right?" Harold began without giving either Sasuke or the other man a chance to speak, "What was your name again…uhh, Choji Aburame."

"Sasuke Uchiha," the Uchiha teen corrected in a confused tone.

"Yes, yes that's your name," the other man said, "Sakura has mentioned it a lot. Especially over the last few days to a week and a half." The last Uchiha noticed that the other man seemed a bit upset, as if something was terribly wrong. Curiosity overriding his usual tact and caution, Sasuke decided to ask the man what was wrong. "It's…it's Sakura," the man replied in a somber tone, "She didn't come back last night."

"Wait, you know her?" Sasuke asked, alarm in his tone over hearing that one of his friends might be missing.

"Oh yeah, introductions are necessary here," Harold said to the last Uchiha. Gesturing to the man next to him, the pink-haired jonin said, "This man here is Kizashi Haruno, my brother-in-law and Sakura's father."

"Sakura's dad?" Sasuke repeated. After both men nodded in the affirmative, Kizashi started to cry a bit, obviously upset.

"You mentioned something about Sakura not returning home last night," Sasuke said in a concerned tone, "Is that true?"

Sniffling, Kizashi nodded once in the affirmative before saying, "I know that Sakura and her friends have been hanging out every night consistently, mainly to celebrate your reform and all of the good work you've done since returning to the village. But Sakura always returns home before nine at night."

"But she didn't return home last night," Harold continued, "Or rather, that's the impression I got from my little sister Mebuki in between her crying fits." Sasuke was stunned by what he was hearing. Particularly what he was hearing from Harold; the last Uchiha had a feeling that the pink-haired jonin before him is usually _never_ as serious as he's being right now. (4)

"I don't suppose you have any idea where my daughter may be, do you?" Kizashi asked, trying to keep himself from crying as he asked his question (he was a pretty good job at it).

Shaking his head, Sasuke replied, "I'm sorry, sir. But the last I saw of Sakura was last night, when I waived her good-bye as I saw her leave with Ino and Tenten."

"Hmm," Harold said as he gave Sasuke's response some consideration, "…You're saying one of the last people you saw Sakura with was Inoichi's daughter?" After Sasuke replied in the affirmative, Harold turned to face his brother-in-law. "I say we head to Inoichi's place and ask his daughter if she remembers anything."

"Yes, let's go do that right now," Kizashi agreed instantly, "I'll do whatever it takes to find my precious little princess."

After the two men left the Hokage office building, Sasuke ran up to the second floor, an alarmed look on his face. When he reached his destination, that being Tsunade's office, the last Uchiha ran right in, only to stop dead in his tracks due to being shocked to see several Konoha shinobi trying to restrain a very clearly upset Tsunade from going on a rampage. Sasuke recognized three of the shinobi as Akimichi clan men; specifically, two of them were Choji and Choji's father.

Tentatively, Sasuke spoke up. "Umm, Lady Tsunade?" Sasuke began in an unsure tone, "Are…are you okay?"

Hearing Sasuke speak up, Tsunade calmed down somewhat. Looking around and eventually coming across Sasuke, the fifth Hokage calmed down enough so that the various shinobi physically restraining her felt confident enough to let her go. "Umm…" Sasuke continued, "I ran into Mr. Haruno and Mr. Fisher on the ground floor. They…told me what happened."

Placing her right hand over her forehead in a gesture that conveyed that she was trying to keep it together, Tsunade said, "Sakura's missing, yes. She's missing and it's all my fault."

"With all due respect, Lady Tsunade," Sasuke replied, "I honestly don't see how Sakura going missing is your fault. You're beating yourself up unnecessarily."

Sighing in a resigned tone, Tsunade regarded the last Uchiha. "You're right, Sasuke," Tsunade replied, "But I honestly can't help myself, you know? Sakura's been my apprentice slash student slash assistant for over seven years. I'd say it's closer to eight than seven." Lowering her hand from her forehead, Tsunade added, "Sakura's sort of like a daughter to me. Right up to his death, Jiraiya felt that Naruto was like a son to him."

"With all that having been said," Sasuke replied, "The only thing Orochimaru had in common with my actual parents was that, like my father, Orochimaru had very high standards."

Failing to suppress a chuckle, Tsunade said, "I'm supposing that you're here to ask about whatever work I have for you today, right?"

"That was my original intention, yes," Sasuke replied honestly, "But in light of what I've just found out, I think putting effort into finding Sakura has higher priority."

"That's actually what I was planning on having you do, actually," Tsunade said, "I want you to join the search effort to find Sakura."

Smiling, the last Uchiha said as he gave the fifth Hokage a salute, "There's no need to tell me twice."

"I believe Sakura's folks are organizing some search parties at their place," Tsunade said, "You can head over there and join up with one of the groups being set up by Mebuki Haruno."

"I can take you over to the Haruno residence, Sasuke," Choji stated as he stepped forward, "My mother and Sakura's mother often return dishware between each other, and I've been sent over more than once to return a pot or two."

Nodding, Sasuke said, "Thanks, Choji." The two boys then left as soon as they were given the okay, with the fifth Hokage silently wishing the boys all the luck in the world.

* * *

When Sakura finally came to, she noticed that there was barely enough light coming in through the crack under the door for her to see. And even then, she had great difficulty making out some things that were five feet away. What the pink-haired chunnin did know was that she was stuck inside a jail cell-like prison not unlike the one that held Might Gai's students prior to Sasuke rescuing them from the gambler's den. She was secured to a wall by manacles attached to chains.

Sakura was two parts shocked, eight parts unsurprised when she realized that these manacles kept her from being able to use her chakra, thus cutting her off from her various jitsu, along with the ability to use her chakra to enhance her strength. Although her sight was greatly compromised by the lack of light, and her arsenal of jitsu was all but eliminated by those damn manacles, Sakura could still hear just as fine as she always has. Thus, when she picked up the sounds of hushed whisperings coming from outside the door, the pink-haired chunnin knew that she'd be seeing her kidnappers soon.

The door opened, stunning Sakura's eyes for just a moment with a quick flash of light before she was able to adjust, and two people walked in. When Sakura saw their faces, she immediately recognized them. And since she knew who they were, Sakura could not believe what she was seeing, _who_ she was seeing. The two people that were holding her hostage were Homura Mitokado and Koharu Utatane, the two remaining advisors to Lady Tsunade. "What…" the pink-haired chunnin said, unable to finish due to being shocked.

"You know," Koharu began in a tone that clearly conveyed disgust, "I cannot fathom why Tsunade would allow what little remains of that hellish clan to not only survive, but give it a shot at repopulating."

"You…you mean Sasuke?" Sakura asked quietly, still shocked that Konoha's village elders and members of the Hokage's council would pull such a stunt as kidnapping her.

"That foolish young lady is giving history the opportunity to repeat itself, you know," Koharu continued, her tone unchanging, "Uchiha is clearly bidding his time, and when all of Konoha trusts him, he'll kill us all."

"I bet it was you who gave Tsunade the idea to let Uchiha off the hook," Homura spat at Sakura, "Obviously, you weren't thinking with your head."

With what little a smirk that she could manage to come up with, given her current situation, Sakura replied, "Actually, Lady Tsunade herself came up with the idea. I technically had no input on the matter."

"Then it's obvious that Tsunade has gone senile in her advanced age," Koharu remarked snidely.

"Hello?" Sakura began in a calm but mocking tone, "Excuse me miss kettle, mister pot called. He says that you're black."

Scoffing in a clearly disgusted tone, Koharu sneered, "It's clear that Tsunade should have known better than to let you associate with the likes of Inuzuka. That boy's entire clan is showing signs of being just as messed up as the Uchiha!"

"Well if things weren't being made so bad for the Inuzuka clan, then they wouldn't have had to resort to such drastic measures out of fear that they'd otherwise kick it, don't you think?" Sakura replied calmly, "In fact, don't both of you have a deciding vote in whether or not certain changes are made to various programs such as financial assistance?" Seeing that a measure of shock went across the faces of both elders, Sakura's small smile cracked, growing just a tiny bit bigger.

"Ah, there we go," Sakura continued, clearly pleased with the progress she was making on her captors, "Looks like the two of you aren't as high and mighty as you present yourselves to be. In fact, one could make the argument that most, if not all, of the things that the Inuzuka clan have done recently out of desperation is your-"

"Silence, girl!" Koharu exclaimed, shocking the pink-haired chunnin into silence, one part due to Koharu's volume, and nine parts due to surprise that Koharu can get that loud.

Glaring at Sakura, Koharu continued in a tone that was of lower volume but still just as angry, "That foolish young woman Tsunade has been trying to drive Konoha into the ground since day one. The fact that a mere chunnin such as yourself is showing such disrespect to her superiors is clear evidence of that. It's for the sake of Konoha's well-being that such activity cannot be allowed to continue into the future."

Giving the female elder a questioning look, Sakura asked, "And how will holding me here help you accomplish that goal?"

"One thing that Koharu and I cannot fault Tsunade for is how much she cares about those who are under her," Homura replied with a sigh, "Particularly her various helpers and assistants." Giving Sakura a knowing look, Homura said, "Particularly you, miss Haruno. Tsunade had remarked to Koharu and I on more than one occasion in confidence that you are like a daughter to her." Pointing his right index finger at the pink-haired chunnin, Homura added, "With you missing, Tsunade will be too distraught to 'work' as properly as she usually does."

"And in that distraught state, Tsunade will finally be more agreeable to our suggestions," Koharu remarked. After the two elders finished, they expected Sakura to, in effect, call them crazy. But instead of the response they expected, Sakura simply laughed. Arching an eyebrow in confusion, Koharu snapped, "What's so funny, girl?"

"The two of you do realize," Sakura began with a confidant look of amusement on her face, "That even if this little plan of yours works, even if Lady Tsunade agrees to whatever suggestion the two of you make from here on out, even if I just so happen to randomly die while imprisoned here, that your days as the Hokage's council are numbered?"

"What are you talking about, girl?" Homura demanded, clearly annoyed and confused (but mostly annoyed).

"Before the year is out," Sakura began as calm mixed with the confidence and amusement in her expression, "Lady Tsunade's going to step down as Hokage. She told me so herself."

"You speak as if this should worry us," Koharu replied, her expression calming down after it was heightened by fear of what the pink-haired chunnin was going to say.

"As a matter of fact, this works out _better_ for us," Homura remarked, his tone clearly showing that he agreed with Koharu, "With a new Hokage, we'll be able to shape Konoha's future for the better."

Her smirk growing just a bit more, Sakura replied, "You two speak as if you'll have the deciding say in who the next Hokage will be." Seeing the surprised looks on the faces of the two elders, Sakura continued, "Lady Tsunade has already made arrangements for Naruto to take her place as Hokage after she steps down. Naruto doesn't know about any of this yet because I want to see the look of surprise on his face when the news is broken to him."

Seeing Koharu take a step back out of shock, the pink-haired chunnin continued, "Knowing Naruto, he'll gather an entirely new council when he's made the sixth Hokage, which will leave the two of you out of a job." Waiting just a second for dramatic effect, Sakura continued, "If I somehow get out of here before that, I'll convince Naruto to make Sasuke one of his advisors. Just so I can see the looks on your-"

"SILENCE!" Koharu screamed, making a hand gesture with her right hand; when Koharu made that gesture, the manacles on Sakura's wrists started glowing, which had the effect of delivering a nasty yet non-fatal shock to Sakura (you could even see small streams of electricity dance all over Sakura's body). As Sakura braced herself (she's been through worse), the female elder walked forward.

"How dare you speak to us in such a disrespectful manner, young lady!" Koharu exclaimed, clearly having lost her cool.

Giving Koharu a smirking glare, Sakura replied through the pain of being shocked, "This is the happiest day of my life." The looks of anger she received from the two elders was what the pink-haired chunnin had been hoping for; she was glad that they recognized the proverbial middle finger that she was giving them for what it was.

After enough shocking, Sakura pretended to have passed out from pain. The elders, annoyance with Sakura having overtaken their logic, had bought the act like suckers. "Let that be a lesson to you, young lady," Koharu sneered as she and Homura turned around and left, closing the door behind them.

Although she wasn't showing it, Sakura was, in fact, very much scared. She silently hoped that someone, anyone, would come and get her out of there.

* * *

After being led by Choji to the Haruno residence, Sasuke joined and went off with a search party. Sasuke didn't even mind that the other members of the party were Harold, Inoichi and Tsume, plus Tsume's ninja dog Kuromaru. The last Uchiha was, first and foremost, focused on finding and recovering his teammate.

"Oh geez," Inoichi remarked as he and the others leapt from rooftop to rooftop as they searched Konoha, "What if Ino was with Sakura at the time, and now both girls are missing?"

"Ino isn't missing, Mr. Yamanaka," Sasuke replied, "In fact, she saw us off when we left to go find Sakura."

"A worried father cares not for logic, young man," the Yamanaka patriarch defended, "That is something that you will know all too well when you become a parent one day." (5)

"Hey, I just had an idea," Tsume remarked.

"Damnit, Tsume!" Kuromaru snapped, "What did I tell you about having those?!"

"Now here me out for a second," Tsume replied. To the group as a whole, the Inuzuka matriarch asked, "Does anyone here have anything belonging to Sakura?"

"Why do you ask?" Harold replied, a confused look on the face of the pink-haired jonin.

"If we have something that belongs to Sakura," Tsume explained, "And Sakura has used it enough and/or carries it around on her person enough, then it should have her smell. I can have Kuromaru sniff it, which would allow him to try and track Sakura down by scent."

"That's actually a rather well thought out idea, Mrs. Inuzuka," Sasuke remarked, "Now I see where Kiba gets such ideas from."

"Yeah, and here I thought that her idea was going to involve being mean to cats somehow," Kuromaru said. Looking to the humans, Kuromaru continued, "So yeah. Does anyone here have anything of Sakura's that would fit the bill?"

As the adults were shaking their head, Sasuke, with a look of realization on his face, reached into a back pocket on his pants while saying, "Oh! She let me borrow a handcloth a short while back when we and our friends all went to the local barbecue grill." Pulling the handcloth out, Sasuke showed it to the group while saying, "I spilled some sauce on my shirt by accident, so Sakura let me borrow this to wipe it off. In all of the excitement of the dinner that we were having with all of our friends, I forgot to return it."

"I'm not going to question what the frig you're doing with my niece's property," Harold replied as he took the handcloth from Sasuke, "All I'm going to say is thank goodness, we have something of Sakura's that should have enough of her scent for Kuromaru to pick up on and track her down."

After sniffing the handcloth for about a minute (the smell of barbecue sauce kind of made things difficult), Kuromaru said, "Alright, I got Sakura's scent!" Turning around, Kuromaru sniffed about the air for another minute, after which the Inuzuka ninja dog took off while shouting, "This way! Follow me!"

"You heard the man," Tsume remarked to the rest of the group as she took after Kuromaru, with Sasuke and the men following behind her.

* * *

Sakura was still stuck in the jail cell in…wherever the elders were holding her. She had no idea how long it's been since she was taken, and she was beginning to fear the worst. Suddenly, the pink-haired chunnin was snapped out of a flight of fancy she was having when she heard footsteps coming from the other side of the door. To no surprise, Sakura was once again visited by Homura and Koharu. Just before the elders came in, Sakura once again assumed the snarky persona that she had been using thus far, both to screw with the elders, and to hide from how she was really feeling.

"I'm sorry folks, but the Country Kitchen Diner is closed for the day," Sakura greeted the elders with a snarky grin, "We'll be open again tomorrow starting at six AM."

"If you think you can continue showing such disrespect to us, then think again, young lady," Koharu sneered, "Once we get Konoha back on track, the apparent disrespect that the youth of Konoha shows to their elders will be among the first things that we'll fix."

"You can't really fix that," Sakura replied casually, "Mostly because it's a known fact that you can't fix what isn't broken."

"Perhaps such logic applies to lost causes such as yourself," Koharu remarked, "But such ideology does not apply to the five great ninja villages, Konoha especially."

"Maybe the girl's behavior is something of a genetic problem," Homura suggested when he turned to face his companion, "After all, this girl is unfortunate enough to have the likes of Harold Fisher as a relative."

"And yet my uncle is loads more competent than the two of you combined," Sakura said to the elders, "Even, and especially, when he's under the influence."

"You dare suggest that a village drunk is more capable than us, the council of the Hokage?!" Koharu screamed at the pink-haired chunnin, just a smidge away from going completely red in the face.

"Easy now, ma'am," Sakura replied calmly, "You might pop a blood vessel if you keep on screaming like that. You've got to manage your stress better."

"We should have put something over her mouth to keep her from talking," Koharu remarked when she turned to face Homura, "The girl's starting to get more annoying than-"

A loud crashing noise coming from behind Koharu and Homura got everyone's attention. The two elders turned around to face the intruders, and were shocked to see Sasuke run into the room to confront them, alongside Harold, Inoichi, Tsume and Kuromaru. "You were right about those other scents, Kuromaru," Sasuke remarked aloud as he and his team eyed the two elders, "Sakura wasn't alone."

"Ah hell no!" Harold exclaimed as he spotted Sakura in the jailcell. Pounding a fist into his hand, Harold said, "Ain't no one pull a stunt like this and gets away with it!"

"It would be in your respective best interests if you all forgot what you saw here," Koharu remarked, "As elders of the village of Konohagakure, we can make it so that-"

Koharu never got to finish her threat, as Sasuke, enraged by seeing Sakura being held as a prisoner, made a Chidori and, running right up to the lady elder, jabbed it right into her chest, piercing her heart. Before Sasuke could even turn to attack Homura, Tsume and Kuromaru got to the male elder first. Sasuke wasn't facing the direction that Homura was in, so the last Uchiha wasn't sure if it was Tsume's stabbing or Kuromaru's mauling that claimed the man's life. All that Sasuke was concerned with was getting Sakura out of the jailcell.

After Sasuke broke the lock on the jailcell door with his Chidori, Sakura said as Sasuke opened the door, "Umm, Sasuke, the elder that you killed has both the key to the jailcell door and the key needed to unlock my manacles."

Turning around, Sasuke saw that Harold was already on the task of retrieving the keys. Finding a keyring with two keys on it, the Fisher patriarch tossed them to Sasuke. "The boys and I have to handle the remains of those traitorous old farts," Harold explained to the last Uchiha, "As well as report what's going on here to Lady Fifth. You get my niece out of here."

Nodding once in the affirmative, Sasuke turned back around to face Sakura, undid the locks on her manacles, and after both of the manacles dropped to the floor with a loud dull heavy 'clunk', Sasuke, with Sakura's arms over his shoulders, carried the pink-haired chunnin bridal style out of the building.

* * *

"Those traitorous old farts did _**WHAT**_?!" Tsunade exclaimed later that afternoon in her office over at the Hokage office building; standing before Tsunade were Harold, Inoichi, Tsume and Kuromaru. Shizune was standing off to the side.

"They kidnapped my niece and were holding her hostage," Harold explained, "With the intent of taking advantage of how distraught you'd be over Sakura being missing so that they could reshape Konoha into what they thought was an ideal village."

"Don't worry about punishing them, though," Inoichi added, "Sasuke killed the old woman, and Tsume and Kuromaru here tag-teamed the old dude to death."

Leaning back in her chair (she was seated at her desk), Tsunade sighed and said, "I would have preferred it if they were captured alive."

"With all due respect, Lady Tsunade," Kuromaru began, "What Old Man Homura and Old Lady Koharu did was tantamount to treason against Konoha. Also, if it wasn't for me, Tsume and Sasuke killing them, Harold would have defiantly, and literally, torn Homura and Koharu limb from limb."

"What they did was very clearly treason to Konoha," Tsunade agreed, "And that usually carries a death sentence anyway." Getting up from her desk, Tsunade continued, "A death sentence that I would have preferred to carry out personally."

"Ha!" laughed the Fisher patriarch, "That's why you're the Hokage, Lady Fifth! You call them as you see them!"

Smiling somewhat, Tsunade sat back down. "So, where's Sasuke?" asked Tsunade, "He was part of the search team that found and rescued Sakura. He should be here to receive the praise that he deserves."

* * *

Over at Konoha General, Ino, Hinata, Tenten and Naruto were walking over to the hospital room that Sakura was staying in; as she was held prisoner for at least a day in a shoddily made makeshift prison in a building somewhere (not to mention having been shocked at least once by those manacles that were on her wrists), Sakura need some medical attention, albeit only a mild amount.

"Where did Sasuke go off to?" Ino asked rhetorically as the group entered Sakura's hospital room, "You'd figure that he'd join us in visiting Sakura."

"I agree," Tenten remarked, "I mean, with him having cleaned up his act, you'd figure that Sasuke wouldn't hey what that noise?"

The girls and Naruto all looked around the hospital room, carefully listening for the noise that Tenten picked up on. They figured that it had something to do with Sakura's hospital bed being empty for some reason, which made the girls and Naruto alarmed.

"Hey," Naruto said as he looked in the direction of a closet that was in the room, "I think the noise is coming from that closet." Naruto, with the girls following behind him, walked over to the closet. When Ino cut ahead of Naruto to open the door, what they saw shocked the girls while making Naruto laugh out loud.

Sasuke and Sakura were making out with each other in the closet. Seeing that they were caught, the last Uchiha and the pink-haired chunnin ceased their making out session. As Sakura stammered in embarrassment, trying to find something to say to the girls and Naruto, Sasuke simply said to them, "This is exactly what it looks like."

END, GUESS WHO'S BACK CHAPTER TEN

Author's Notes:

(1) Hinata's probably the only person in Konoha who can pull off exclaiming in a whisper.

(2) Akamaru was asking the same question as Ino.

(3) Sakura has super strength, remember?

(4) He had a good reason for thinking this way about Harold.

(5) When a parent is worried about the safety of their child, they have the tendency to throw all logic out the window.

Although I do acknowledge that they ultimately had Konoha's best interests at heart, I really kinda didn't like Homura and Koharu. Maybe it was the attitude they showed to Tsunade in the series proper, maybe it was their tendency to share in Danzo's war hawk-like views, I don't know. Anyway, that's chapter ten done and over with. I'm pretty sure that I know what to do with chapter eleven, so I hope it turns out great. Of course, that's up to the readers; beauty in the eye of the beholder and all that jazz.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.

Guess who's back?

Chapter eleven: Good! You're married! Kiss her!

Sasuke Uchiha was sitting at the table of his government-provided apartment in the village of Konohagakure, reading a morning paper as he was eating breakfast. The last Uchiha has set the glass of orange juice that he was drinking from aside as an article he saw caught his attention. The article was about the recent deaths of the two village elders, Homura Mitokado and Koharu Utatane, who had served on the Hokage's council since before most everyone else in the village had been born.

In the article, Lady Tsunade, the fifth (and current) Hokage, was quoted by an interviewer as saying 'If it wasn't for the fact that they had already retired from active duty before I was even made Hokage, I would have seen to it that they had both received dishonorable discharges for the stunt that they pulled'. The article goes onto say that Tsunade, when pressed for information about what the two elders had done, refused to answer any further questions, stating that she wanted to preserve what little dignity the two late elders still had.

Sasuke knew all too well what the two deceased elders had done; in a gambit to make Tsunade more agreeable to their ideas, they had Sakura Haruno, Tsunade's apprentice-slash-assistant, kidnapped and held hostage, without anyone knowing where the pink-hair chunnin had gone off to, leading many to believe she had gone missing (or worse). Sasuke, with the help of Sakura's uncle and the friends of Sakura's uncle, had tracked down and rescued Sakura, killing the two elders in the process.

Oh, and while Sasuke had visited Sakura as she recovered in the hospital from her ordeal, Sakura's affection for the last Uchiha had rebloomed in full. Sasuke, to his credit, finally decided to give Sakura a shot, and found to his mild and pleasant surprise that Sakura was…pretty damn good, actually.

As Sasuke folded his newspaper back up and laid it to the side on his table, he heard someone knocking at his door. Getting up, Sasuke walked over to answer the door. To his surprise, he opened the door to a Hyuga clan shinobi; the man was male, dressed as a standard Konoha shinobi, and wore the bandana style Konoha headband. "Is this the residence of Sasuke Uchiha?" asked the Hyuga man.

"Yeah, and I'm Sasuke," replied the last Uchiha, "Is there anything that I can help you with?"

Nodding once in the affirmative, the Hyuga man said, "I am Ko Hyuga, a member of the Hyuga clan's cadet branch. I am here on official business on behalf of Lady Hinata, the first-born daughter of Lord Hiashi, leader of the Hyuga clan." As the last Uchiha gave Ko a mildly confused look for acting overly official, the cadet Hyuga handed Sasuke an envelope. Curious, Sasuke opened the envelope and pulled out the small card inside, which read;

 _To Sasuke Uchiha_ ,

 _You have been cordially invited to the wedding of Naruto Uzumaki and Hinata Hyuga_ , _which is to be held at the First Konoha Synagogue this Friday_. _It_ ' _s expected to start sometime around 9_ : _30 in the morning_ , _so arriving early might be in your best interest_.

After giving the invitation a quick couple of scans, Sasuke looked up at Ko and said, "I knew that Naruto was marrying his fiancé this Friday, but I had no idea that the wedding was going to be held at a synagogue."

"It's the same place where Lord Hiashi married his wife, you know," Ko replied, "And how do you already know that the wedding was this Friday?"

"Naruto asked me to be his best man," Sasuke explained, putting a look of mild embarrassment mixed with being stunned into silence on the cadet Hyuga's face.

"…Oh," Ko replied, his tone showing how embarrassed he was, "Then…then I assume you already received an invitation? It'd be nice if you RSVP with me, as Lord Hiashi asked me to make sure to get a list of everyone who's expected to attend."

"If you have a clipboard with a list of names, I'd be happy to add my own name to it," Sasuke offered. As it just so happened, Ko actually _did_ have a clipboard on hand, a sheet of paper with names written on it attached.

As Sasuke added his name to the list, Ko asked, "Umm, since you're going to be the groom's Best Man, can you make a note of it next to your name so that I'll have a reference?" Nodding once in understanding, Sasuke added ( _Best Man_ )next to his name on the list. Taking the clipboard back from Sasuke, Ko looked it over and said, "Well that seems to be in order." Looking up at the last Uchiha, Ko nodded and said, "Thank you for your time. I'll guess that I'll be seeing you at the wedding on Friday."

After the cadet Hyuga took his leave, Sasuke closed the door behind him and walked back to his table. As he sat back down, Sasuke realized that he would have to get a suit to wear. He's not planning on asking Mr. Haruno or Mr. Fisher (Sakura's father and uncle respectively) for help in that regard. Not after his first meeting with them when Sakura brought him to her place to introduce him to her family. (1)

* * *

Later that day, Hiashi Hyuga, the leader of the Hyuga clan, was at the local formal outfit shop. As he was browsing the variety of suits, he bumped into Inoichi Yamanaka and Harold Fisher; both men had, at Hiashi's request, been invited to the wedding (2), along with a few other men that Hiashi was friends with, such as Choza Akimichi. It goes without saying that any wives of the invited men were coming as well.

Since the three men bumped into each other, they all figured that they'd shoot the breeze a bit. "…And that's when Michelle brought up how Choza's wife mentioned having to buy a new dress to wear to the wedding," Inoichi said as he recounted to the other men a story that his wife told him, "And how she'd have to nag Choza and their son to get new tuxedos."

"I'm just getting my old tuxedo refitted," Hiashi remarked, "Although my nephew doesn't have a tuxedo to wear, so I figured that I'd look around for him."

"Hey Hiashi, dude," Harold began, "Sophia told me that your daughter's wedding was going to be held over at the local Synagogue."

"Yes, yes, it is," replied the Hyuga clan lord with a single nod in the affirmative, "It's the same place where Omiyo and I got married."

"I have a question concerning the wedding, since it's going to be held at the synagogue," Harold continued, "Are you guys planning on doing that one thing at the wedding where someone sits on a chair and a few people pick him up and carry him around while he sits on the chair?"

"Ah, I believe that you're talking about part of the Horah dance," Hiashi replied after taking a second to process what the Fisher patriarch was asking, "And yes, we'll be doing it." (3)

"Can I be one of the people who is carried around like that?" Harold asked, "I heard about it and have always wanted to give it a shot."

"Yeah, me too," Inoichi added, "It's sounds pretty damn cool."

A stunned look of mild surprise on his face, Hiashi replied, "Well, umm…I can look into it, I suppose."

"Sweet," Harold said, "Oh, before I forget, Tsume asked me to ask you if Kuromaru's allowed to come to the wedding."

Smiling in a knowing manner, Hiashi replied, "Not only is Kuromaru allowed, I even honored the traditions of the Inuzuka clan by sending Kuromaru his own individual invitation. Hinata said that she'd do the same for her friend Kiba's dog."

"Well alright!" Harold proclaimed as he clapped Hiashi on the back, "You one hell of a dude, Hiashi! Hey, you wanna join Inoichi and I at the bar after we're done here?"

"I got some things to attend to when I'm done here," Hiashi replied as he politely declined Inoichi's offer, "I'm the bride's father, after all. I have to get myself ready for when I give her away on her wedding day. I also need to think of what to say when I give my future son-in-law my blessings."

"Oh GOD," Inoichi remarked in an exasperated tone, "That reminds me. Due to how lovey-dovey she's been with that artsy little son of a bitch Sai, Ino will probably end up marrying that little twat. Which means I'll have to give him my blessings."

"You have a problem with this?" Hiashi asked, arching an eyebrow at the Yamanaka patriarch.

"I don't wanna give that artsy little son of a bitch my blessings!" Inoichi whined like a child, "He's an artsy little son of a bitch!"

"Shikaku doesn't like the fact that his son will most likely end up marrying that girl from outside of the Land of Fire, but you don't see him complaining," Hiashi pointed out. (4)

"We should save this arguing for _after_ the wedding," Harold suggested, "You know, to try and keep the air clear for Hiashi's daughter's special day."

Nodding in agreement, Hiashi replied, "Good idea, Harold." At that point, Hiashi was approached by one of the shop's employees.

"Excuse me, sir," said the employee, "But your suit is ready."

"Ah, thank you," Hiashi replied as he followed the employee to go and pick up his suit. After a minute, Hiashi was back, carrying a box with the tuxedo inside. "Well then," Hiashi remarked to Inoichi and Harold, "Now that this is taken care of, I think that I'll actually take you guys up on your offer to head to the bar after all."

"Mozel tov!" Harold exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air in celebration.

Chuckling to himself in a good-natured tone, Hiashi replied, "Save that for the wedding, Harold."

* * *

The next day, Rock Lee and Tenten went over to the Hyuga clan estate, where they were told they can find Naruto going over a few things with Neji. When they got there, Rock Lee and Tenten now only found Naruto and Neji, they also found Sasuke, Shikamaru and Shino. They weren't quite sure why Shino of all people was there, but they decided not to question it.

"Hey guys," Rock Lee called out as he waived, getting the attention of the groom and his friends. When he and the others turned their heads, and saw Rock Lee and Tenten come walking up, Naruto waived back.

"Hey Rock Lee, Tenten," Naruto greeted, "What's up?"

"Gai-sensei says that his invitation to the wedding must have gotten lost in the mail, as he hadn't received it yet," Tenten explained, "He wanted to know if it was okay if he can show up without it."

A mildly surprised look on his face, Neji said, "Gai-sensei hadn't received his invitation yet? Huh, well that's odd."

"I agree," Naruto added as he nodded in agreement with Neji, "Gai-sensei should have gotten his invite by now." Sasuke, Shikamaru and Shino could all tell that Naruto and Neji's tones were suggesting that they knew more than they were letting on. However, both Rock Lee and Tenten completely failed to pick up on this.

"Let Gai-sensei know that I'll personally bring him an invite sometime before the wedding, alright?" Neji said to his teammates, "It's odd that he hadn't gotten one yet. It's also a tad worrisome, as Ko is going to be very anal about people requiring their invites in order to get into the wedding."

After Rock Lee and Tenten both nodding in the affirmative before leaving, Sasuke and the others waited until after Neji's teammates left (out of sight and earshot) before speaking. "Hey Naruto, Neji," Sasuke began, "Care to explain?"

Seeing the look that they were getting from the last Uchiha, Naruto and Neji decided to tell what was going on. "Can the three of you promise to keep what Naruto and I are about to tell you to yourselves?" Neji asked.

After Sasuke, Shikamaru and Shino all exchanged looks before turning back to face Neji and Naruto to nod in agreement to keep their mouths shut, Neji turned to face Naruto and give him the cue. "…Hinata doesn't want Gai-sensei to come to the wedding," Naruto explained.

A mildly surprised look on his face, Shikamaru asked, "She doesn't want Gai-sensei to come? Why not?"

"Lady Hinata said that, with all due respect, she's completely creeped out by Gai-sensei," Neji explained, "As few people as possible are to be in the know about this."

"Well knowing Gai, he'll probably try to come anyway," Sasuke remarked.

"Wait a minute," Shino said suddenly, "Why hasn't Hinata said anything about this before now?"

"She's afraid of being rude to Gai-sensei," Naruto explained. (5) Hearing this, Shino had to nod in understanding; being afraid of being rude to someone, regardless of who that someone is, sounds just like Hinata.

As the boys talked, Sakura and Ino came walking up; when they reached the boys, Sakura went up to Sasuke to plant a quick, affectionate peck on his right cheek.

"Hey boys, have you seen Hinata?" Ino asked, "Sakura and I want to ask her about the dresses we have to wear in our roles as her bridesmaids. Specifically, if we have to wear those long-sleeved numbers that Hinata showed us."

"No, we haven't seen her," Neji replied with a single gentle shake of his head, "Last I saw of Lady Hinata, she and Lady Hanabi went out to have lunch together."

"She went out to have lunch with her sister?" Sakura asked, a mildly confused and curious look on her face.

"Seeing as how Hanabi won't be seeing much of Hinata after I marry her, she wants to spend as much time with her older sister as she can," Naruto explained, "I think it's rather sweet how much Hanabi will miss seeing Hinata regularly, so I was all for it." With a look of mild concentration on his face, Naruto added, "If you're that desperate to find Hinata, however, I believe that either she or her sister mentioned that new sushi place about a block and a half from the Hokage office building."

"You guys also looked like you were talking about something before Sakura and I showed up," Ino brought up, "What was it?"

"We were…" Neji began tentatively, "…Discussing Lady Hinata's special request regarding the guest list."

"Oh," Sakura replied as if she instantly knew what Neji was talking about, "You mean how she wouldn't feel comfortable if Gai-sensei came." After Neji nodded in the affirmative, Sakura continued, "Yeah, Lady Tsunade and I were actually talking about that, and she had actually come up with a plan."

* * *

Later that day over at the Hokage office building, Tsunade was sitting at her desk, with Shizune and Sakura taking care of organizing various filing cabinets in the room. As the two women went about their chores, Might Gai came into the office, walking right up to Tsunade's desk. Giving the Fifth Hokage a salute, Gai said, "You summoned me, Lady Tsunade?"

"Ah, Might Gai, just the man I was hoping to see," Tsunade began in a knowing tone that Gai had completely failed to pick up on, "Now, as you already know, Naruto and Hinata's wedding is this Friday."

"I am debating whether to bring a salad shooter or a waffle iron as a wedding gift," Gai replied, "Although I've recently considered a set of dining ware as well."

"That's lovely," Tsunade continued without missing a beat, "Now then, as you can probably guess, Naruto has expressed an interest in inviting Kakashi to the wedding."

"That eternal rival of mine still hasn't come back from leave yet?" Gai asked, arching an eyebrow as he put his hands on his waist.

"Unfortunately, since the day Kakashi became an official ninja, the only days in which he was NOT on active duty was when he was being forced to recover in the hospital," Tsunade went on, "So, as you can imagine, Kakashi's racked up quite a load of vacation time. The fact that he chose this general time period of all times to finally use his saved-up vacation time has caused quite the conundrum."

"Is my eternal rival's extended absence from Konoha the reason why you summoned me here, Lady Tsunade?" Gai asked.

Nodding once in the affirmative, Tsunade said, "Gai, I have a mission for you."

"Is it an official mission?" Gai asked, his interest piqued when Tsunade mentioned the mission for him.

"Ehh," Tsunade replied, "It's sort of half-official, half-unofficial." Looking Gai directly in his eyes, Tsunade said, "Might Gai, your mission is to track down Kakashi Hatake and bring him back to Konoha sometime before this Friday, mostly because I think Naruto would appreciate it if his jonin instructor was able to make it to the wedding. Think you can do it?"

Saluting Tsunade once again, Gai replied, "Sir, yes sir!" When Tsunade told him to be at ease, Gai asked, "Is there any information I should know about this mission, like any ideas about Kakashi's whereabouts?"

"We know for a fact that he is nowhere in the Land of Fire," Tsunade explained, "We have also learned that he can't be anywhere in the Land of Earth, so searching either land would be a complete waste of time."

"I think I remember Kakashi-sensei mentioning something about wanting to visit a museum in Kirigakure, if that helps," Sakura suggested.

Nodding in agreement with her apprentice, Tsunade said, "The art museum or the history museum?"

"I don't remember which one, specifically," Sakura replied, "But from what Kakashi-sensei said the last time I spoke with him about wanting to see all the sights, I think he may end up going to both of them."

Turning to regard Gai, Tsunade said, "Well then Gai, I think your best bet is to first check Kirigakure and the Land of Water as a whole."

Giving Tsunade one last salute, Gai said, "I'll just need to pack a bag of the things I'll be needing while I'm on my mission, then I'll get started with your permission."

"A bag of essentials has already been prepared ahead of time for you, should you have decided to accept," Tsunade explained, and seeing Gai was about to ask an obvious question or two, Tsunade added, "Remember, Gai, that this mission is _just_ about finding Kakashi and bringing him back before Friday. The bag that has been prepared for you has been packed so that you'll be able to accomplish this mission with optimal efficiency."

"Aha, so that's what you intended!" Gai laughed in a good-natured tone, "You're one hell of a Hokage, Lady Tsunade! So, where's this bag?"

"Shizune," Tsunade said, giving her other assistant a cue. Shizune picked up a bag and carried it over to Gai.

When he received the bag from Shizune, Gai weighed it and remarked with a mildly confused look on his face, "It's rather light."

"Well you're a rather strong individual, Gai," Tsunade replied, "I'd go so far as to say that you're freakishly strong."

"Being called freakishly strong by someone like of you, Lady Tsunade, is quite the complement," Gai remarked, sounding as if he had just received the highest of praise.

"Well, you've been given the mission details," Tsunade said with a nod, "You can get started on your mission whenever you're ready."

"I'll just need to let my students know that I'll be out of the village for a few days before the wedding," Gai replied, "Kakashi can be a real pain in the rear to find if he doesn't want to be found, so this mission might take me right down to the wire. So to speak."

"I can take care of that for you, Gai-sensei," Sakura offered, "You should get started on finding Kakashi-sensei as soon as you can. It's been a while since I've seen him too, and I bet Kakashi-sensei will love to hear how Sasuke's returned and cleaned up his act."

"Ah yes, the story of Uchiha," Gai remarked, "I bet Kakashi will get a kick out of that." Turning around, Gai said as he slipped on his bag, "Well then, Lady Tsunade, I'll be taking my leave now." And with that, Gai took a running sprint out of Tsunade's office.

Getting up from her desk and walking over to an office window, Tsunade looked out of it as she saw a long, straight cloud of kicked-up dust that was headed straight for the front entry gate of the village. Once the cloud faded, Tsunade walked over to her desk, sat back down, picked up the desk phone, and made a call.

* * *

At a hotel in Iwagakure, Kakashi Hatake was sitting in a beach chair at the side of a pool, reading a book. On the small table that was next to him was a fruity drink with a straw and a little umbrella in it. The man himself was wearing a bright light-blue islander shirt with a white floral pattern on it, a pair of swimming trunks, and a pair of flip-flops. He was also wearing his signature mask which covered the lower half of his face. Kakashi's headband was worn at a sort of angle over his face so that it covered his left eye. (6)

As he turned the page of the book he was reading, Kakashi heard someone say as they approached, "Excuse me, sir, but are you Kakashi Hatake?" Looking up, Kakashi saw that the person who had spoken to him was an employee of the hotel, a man who was dressed up as a stereotypical butler (more or less). The man was carrying a phone on a tray.

With his one uncovered eye, Kakashi looked at the man and said, "Yes, yes I am Kakashi Hatake. Can I help you?"

Presenting the phone on the tray to Kakashi, the hotel employee said, "You have a call from a miss 'Tsunade', I believe she said her name was."

Nodding once in thanks to the hotel employee, Kakashi took the phone off of the tray and held it up to the side of his head to speak. "Yes, Lady Tsunade?" Kakashi said.

"Ah, about time I talked to you, Kakashi," Tsunade greeted, "How have you been?"

"I'm a little sorry that I wouldn't be able to make it back to Konoha on time for Naruto and Hinata's wedding," Kakashi explained in a mildly sorry tone, "Even if I had left for Konoha the instant I was told about the wedding, I wouldn't get there until sometime the day after the wedding. With that in mind, I decided that I'd make it up to Naruto and his soon-to-be wife by picking them up a very nice souvenir."

"Mmm hmm," Tsunade replied, "You said that you were in Iwagakure the last time I spoke to you. Are you still there?"

"I'm staying at an Iwagakure hotel right now," Kakashi explained, "In fact, I'm relaxing by the pool as we speak."

"Kakashi, I have a mission of the utmost importance for you," Tsunade began, "A mission that you can very easily carry out while you're on leave."

"…What's the mission?" Kakashi asked, sounding mildly wary about potentially having to do work while he's supposed to be on vacation.

"I need you to stay in Iwagakure at the very least until sometime after Friday," Tsunade explained, "Think you can do that?"

"…Well there is this culture festival that's going to start up here in Iwa sometime beginning Thursday," Kakashi began, "It's expected to go on until Monday of the following week. I was actually planning on going to this festival. Why do you want me to stay in Iwa until sometime around Friday?"

"I'll explain that at a later time," Tsunade replied, "So, can you do it?"

"Well I was planning on trying to find that aforementioned souvenir for Naruto and Hinata at the culture festival," Kakashi replied, "So yes. Yes, I will take the mission."

"Good," Tsunade replied in a pleased tone, "I'll contact you to let you know when the mission is cleared. Good luck." And with that, Tsunade ended the call. With the call ended, Kakashi placed the phone back on the tray held by the hotel employee, who took that as his cue to take his leave. Alone to enjoy his time off once again, Kakashi got back to reading his book.

Back in Konoha, Tsunade hung up the desk phone and turned to regard Sakura and Shizune. "Well then," Tsunade said to her assistants, "That should guarantee that Naruto and Hinata's wedding this Friday goes off without a hitch."

* * *

That evening at the Haruno residence, Sakura and her parents were having Harold and Sophia Fisher over for dinner. Seeing her older brother writing something on a pad of line paper while everyone was eating, Mebuki said, "Hey Harold, what are you doing?"

"I'm working on a speech that I plan on giving at the reception," Harold explained, not even bothering to look up from his notepad or cease writing so as to properly reply to his younger sister.

"You're planning on giving a speech at Hinata and Naruto's wedding, Uncle Harold?" Sakura asked, arching an eyebrow in an expression that was three parts surprise, seven parts confusion.

"Inoichi and Tsume are also both working on speeches to give," Harold explained, "It's our little way of congratulating the newlyweds."

"That's…awfully nice of you and your friends to do, Harold," Kizashi remarked, sounding just as surprised as Sakura's expression looks right now.

"Well Inoichi's pals Shikaku and Choza were both kind enough to do the same at me and Sophia's wedding, even though they hardly knew me at the time," Harold replied, "So I want to pay their kindness forward."

"Well that's about the nicest, most sincere thing I ever recall you and your friends ever doing for anyone, Harold," Mebuki remarked, "In fact, I daresay that you haven't done such a nice thing since you walked me down the aisle on my own wedding day." (7)

"Well hey," Harold replied, "That blonde boy who's marrying Sakura's friend is a man. As a fellow man, it's the least I can do for him."

"Men!" Kizashi proclaimed.

"Men!" Harold repeated, doing a fist-bump with his brother-in-law over the table. (8)

As the women laughed in a good-natured tone at the display of brotherly friendship between Kizashi and Harold, Sakura leaned to her side slightly to see what her uncle had written. Arching an eyebrow in confusion, Sakura said, "Umm, Uncle Harold, why do you mention Sasuke as Naruto's 'fat best friend'?"

"He's that fat boy that Naruto's friends with, right?" Harold replied.

"That's Choji Akimichi, Uncle Harold," Sakura corrected, "Sasuke is the boy I brought by a few days back to introduce to the family, remember?"

Looking from Sakura to his speech, then back to Sakura, then back to his speech, then back to Sakura for a third time, to back to his speech again, Harold said, "Huh. Well, it's a good thing that I'm writing this in pencil." As Harold went about making corrections, he said, "Okay then Sakura, just so I am clear, Tenten is that boy on Hiashi's nephew's team with the bowl cut-style hairdo, right?"

* * *

That Thursday, Sasuke and the other guys had gotten together to have Naruto's bachelor party, which Sasuke and Neji set up in one of the sparing halls of the Hyuga clan's estate. As the guys started cracking 'mature' jokes and telling stories that were vulgar and/or raunchy, Naruto walked up to Sasuke and Neji.

"I had no idea that this is what a bachelor party was like," Naruto remarked.

"Well this is your last night of being free before having the influence of a wife over you," Sasuke explained, "So we gotta get all of those general shenanigans out of your system before that."

"Speaking of the wife to be," Neji added, "There's no need to worry about Lady Hinata coming in on our party. Tenten and the other girls are hosting Lady Hinata's bachelorette party."

Looking at the open can of soda he was drinking from, Naruto remarked, "Huh. There's a LOT that I do not know about weddings."

As the boys continued Naruto's bachelor party, there was a knock at the door leading into the sparring room they were in. Neji opened the door, and was greeted by Harold, Inoichi and Tsume, all three of which were carrying two twelve-packs of Pape Konoha's Brand Lager. As the three adults came in, Kuromaru trotted in after Tsume.

"Hey Naruto," Harold said as he and his friends sat the packs of beer on a table, "Since this is your bachelor party, the boys and I figured that we'd bring you and your pals some beer to drink, seeing as how one cannot have a bachelor party without beer."

"But my friends and I are all underage, Mr. Fisher," Naruto pointed out, "That's why we got soda instead."

"Well then we'll drink it as we party with you and the boys," Inoichi offered.

"Umm, will Kiba's mother be staying?" Rock Lee asked in a tone suggesting that he was afraid that he was being rude, "Because bachelor parties are traditionally men-only affairs."

"Young man," Tsume started, "I'll have you know that my own bachelorette party was actually more akin to a bachelor party, as most of the guests were male."

Leaning to Rock Lee's side to whisper in his ear, Kiba said, "My ma tends to prefer the company of men as opposed to the company of other women. In fact, according to my pa, my ma didn't start befriending other women until after she met Mrs. Fisher and Mrs. Yamanaka."

Opening one of the twelve packs and taking a can of beer out of it, Tsume popped the can open as she said, "Yeah, the party I had to celebrate my last night before marriage consisted mostly of male guests. There was Harold, Inoichi, Kuromaru, Choza, Shi-"

"Wait a minute," Neji interrupted a look of mild bafflement on his face, "You brought your dog to your pre-marriage party?"

"I also walked Tsume down the aisle on her wedding day, as per the custom of the Inuzuka clan," Kuromaru explained. (9)

"But now's not the time to talk about Tsume's party," Inoichi said as he popped open a can of beer that he took from the box Tsume opened.

"That's right!" Harold declared as he opened his own can of Pape Konoha's Brand Lager, "This is Naruto's party! So, let's party!"

"Hells yeah!" Kiba exclaimed as he practically slammed down on the play button on a boom box, starting up some party music that most men (but not women, present company excluded) would find acceptable. And so, the folks at the party spent the night partying away.

* * *

The following day, which was the big day, people were seen going in and out of the First Konoha Synagogue. Among the guest going into the synagogue were Sakura, Sakura's family, and Sasuke. Looking up as she and the rest of the group approached the building, Mebuki remarked in a tone of total surprise, "You can have weddings at places _other_ than a cathedral?"

"Not everyone is catholic, mom," Sakura replied, a very mild hint of annoyance in her tone.

A mildly confused look on his face, Sasuke turned to face Sakura and said, "Wait a minute, Sakura. You're catholic?"

Nodding in the affirmative, Sakura replied, "Well yeah. Everyone on my father's side of the family got married at the First Konoha Cathedral, as did most of everyone on my mother's side of the family, other than Uncle Harold and Aunt Sophia." (10)

"We're only catholic to the extent on where we like to have our weddings at, Sasuke," Mebuki explained to the last Uchiha, "So there's no need to worry about having to respect any specific customs, dear."

As the group walked up the steps to the synagogue, they were stopped by Ko Hyuga, who was acting as a bouncer of sorts. "Names and invitations?" Ko said. Having been properly warned of this by Neji, Sasuke and Sakura got out their wedding invitations, which prompted Sakura's folks to do the same. "Ah, Mr. Uchiha," Ko said, "Yes, Lady Hinata's husband-to-be is looking for his best man. Please go right on in."

Sasuke went right inside the synagogue, with Sakura following in right after (she has some bridesmaid's duties to do, after all); Sakura's folks, once they all got in, went to find some seats.

* * *

The wedding went off without a hitch. Everyone clapped in congratulations once Naruto and Hinata were officially wed, and most of the women in attendance even screamed at the top of their lungs when the newlywed couple shared their first kiss as husband and wife. In the audience, Hiashi, with tears of joy in his eyes, clapped as he silently mused how far his first-born daughter had come.

After Naruto and Hinata broke away from their kiss, someone placed a lightbulb on the floor, covered it with a white cloth, then instructed Naruto to stomp on it. After the newly married man did so (with a mildly confused look on his face), making a loud popping noise in the process, Hiashi leaned to his right, where Harold sat next to the Hyuga clan lord. "Okay Harold," Hiashi whispered, " _Now_ you can say it."

Standing up quickly, Harold shouted, "Mozel tov!", causing some of the men in attendance to stand up and cheer, with a few of those men adding their own cheers.

The post-wedding celebration was quite the event, too; after the reception, where Harold and his friends gave their respective speeches, there was celebratory dancing. After Naruto and Hinata had their first dance, everyone joined in and did their own dancing. As Hiashi watched everyone enjoying themselves, he looked over where the Horah dancing was taking place; to his amusement, both Harold and Inoichi were being carried around on chairs by other dancers at the same time. Both men looked like they were having the time of their lives.

* * *

Eventually, everyone saw Naruto and Hinata off to the carriage that would be taking them to their honeymoon destination. (11) Before climbing in, Hinata turned to face the crowd to toss the bouquet. The women in the crowd were excitedly trying to get into position to catch it. To her quiet surprise, Sakura ended up catching the tossed bouquet. Going wide-eyed at what she had just caught, Sakura said a quiet, "Oh my…"

And so, everyone watched the newlyweds go off into the sunset. As the carriage disappeared into the horizon, Sasuke walked up to Sakura. "Hey, Sakura," Sasuke began.

"Umm, yes?" Sakura asked, trying to calm herself down after having caught the bouquet.

Turning to face the direction that the newlyweds rode off in, Sasuke said, "It's days like this that make me glad that I returned to Konoha."

Smiling warmly, Sakura replied, "Yeah. Yeah, I'm glad that you're back too, Sasuke."

Looking up at the sky as the sun was setting, Sasuke said, "Hey Sakura, I know that Naruto had a rough time growing up, and I'm vaguely aware that Naruto's wife didn't have the nicest childhood either. But now that the two of them are together, I'm willing to bet that their lives will turn out for the better."

"Oh, no doubt about that Sasuke," Sakura replied. Giving the last Uchiha a gentle hug, Sakura added, "And what better way to start their new life together than with the perfect honeymoon?"

…Sorry to disappoint you, Sakura, but Naruto and Hinata's honeymoon will be anything BUT normal.

END, GUESS WHO'S BACK CHAPTER ELEVEN

Author's Notes:

(1) Wanting to do the whole 'Overprotective Dad' routine but lacking any idea about how to go about doing it, Kizashi asked Harold to help him. Harold's idea, which involved him and Kizashi dressing up as Aquaman and Superman respectively in order to intimidate Sasuke as they tough-talked him, failed spectacularly. Harold attributes the plan's failure to Kizashi taking the Aquaman costume without knowing the full details of the plan, which Harold said forced him to 'wing it'.

(2) Inoichi's daughter Ino and Harold's niece Sakura are Hinata's bridesmaids (Hanabi was the Maid of honor). As such, Hiashi figured that it was only fair if Inoichi and Harold came as well.

(3) The Horah is a traditional dance that is typically performed at bar/bat mitzvahs and some weddings. …Learning you some religious studies!

(4) That's because Shikaku found out that 'that girl from outside of the Land of Fire' is the Kazekage's sister.

(5) If it comes down to it, Naruto has no such qualms.

(6) In this timeline, Kakashi still has his Sharingan.

(7) For reasons that neither Harold or Mebuki like to bring up, their father wasn't around for Mebuki's wedding, so Harold walked his little sister down the aisle instead.

(8) Harold would later be quoted as saying that if he didn't tone down the testosterone of his portion of the fist bump, the sheer manliness that would have radiated from said fist bump would have made the Haruno residence explode.

(9) When doing research about the concept of walking the bride down the aisle on her wedding day, I learned that some women opt to go down the aisle with their dog. …But then again, if an Inuzuka is the one getting married, their clan is bound to incorporate their ninja dogs into the ceremony somehow.

(10) This is somewhat connected to Mebuki and Harold's dad not being around for Mebuki's wedding.

(11) This is sometime before automobiles.

Well, there's chapter eleven, and it's quite a long one at that. In case anyone was wondering, I have multiple reasons for incorporating various religions/other systems of belief into the story. One, I believe doing so would add more depth to the characters and more flavor to the story. Additionally, I also want to shed some light on other religions such as Buddhism and Wicca, movements such as Pastafarianism, and even a few points on Atheism and Agnosticism. I find learning about various religions/other systems of belief to be very interesting. Two, the only officially/widely recognized faith in the world of Naruto (that I am aware of) is Jashinism. And we all know how people practice _THAT_ religion.

On a side note, I scrapped the original idea I had for the next chapter, where the financially struggling shinobi of Konoha banded together in an attempt to wipe out the wealthy elite. However, after getting close to finishing that chapter, I did a quick review and thought that it was far too dark, not to mention rather awkward in certain scenes. So instead, I opted to replace it with a lighthearted (and slightly comical) piece that I bet would have made for a nice little episode in the series proper.

Naruto and Hinata's honeymoon.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.

Guess who's back?

Chapter twelve: Naruto and Hinata's honeymoon

Naruto Uzumaki laid a luggage bag on the king-sized bed in a room at the Iwagakure hotel. Opening the bag, Naruto pulled out some clothing until he found what he was looking for, a pair of swimming trunks. The reason why the blonde-haired jonin pulled his swimming trunks out was because Hinata Hyuga, who Naruto was here with, saw the hotel's pool and had expressed an interest in heading to it.

…Wait a minute, make that Hinata _Uzumaki_. The reason WHY Naruto was here with Hinata was because the two had just gotten married, and were currently on their honeymoon. In fact, the room that Naruto was in was the hotel's honeymoon suite; on the side of the bed opposite of where Naruto had sat his luggage bag was Hinata's luggage bag. With trunks in hand, Naruto went into the honeymoon suite's private bathroom to change.

The instant Naruto came out after changing, he heard a knock on the honeymoon suite's door. Curious, Naruto walked over and opened it, and was greeted by the sight of Kurotsuchi. The kunoichi was a local of Iwagakure and a personal friend of Naruto's; as far as Naruto was concerned, Kurotsuchi is the Iwagakure equivalent of Gaara from Sunagakure. It was thanks to Kurotsuchi that the hotel's honeymoon suite was ready on time for Naruto and Hinata's arrival; she owed Naruto a favor, and the hotel's owner owed Kurotsuchi a favor. (1)

"Hey Naruto!" the Iwa kunoichi greeted with a toothy grin, "How are you and the misses digging the honeymoon suite?"

"It's very lovely, thanks," Naruto replied, "And thanks again for going through the trouble of getting this room ready for Hinata and I."

"Hey, before you start thinking that I came here solely to check up on my personal lesion from Konoha, I'm also here to give you a warning," Kurotsuchi said.

A mildly curious look on his face, Naruto replied, "A warning?"

"As I was coming up here, I saw some weird woman down by the front help desk on the first floor," Kurotsuchi explained, "She said that she got lost trying to find her way back up to the honeymoon suite, and was asking for someone to show her the way. There's no reason for that weird woman to find the honeymoon suite, as you and your wife are using it."

Curious, Naruto followed Kurotsuchi back down to the first floor. However, as they were walking through a stairwell, they bumped into Hinata, who was accompanied by a hotel employee. "Oh, this is the weird woman I was warning you about, Naruto!" Kurotsuchi said as she gestured to Hinata. The newly married man turned his head to regard his Iwa friend and give her a deadpan look.

"…This is my wife," Naruto replied to Kurotsuchi while gesturing to Hinata.

An embarrassed and mildly stunned look on her face, Kurotsuchi turned her head back and forth between looking at Naruto and looking at Hinata. "…Oh," Kurotsuchi remarked to Naruto, "Umm…well okay, then." Turning to regard Hinata, Kurotsuchi held out a hand and said, "Glad to meet you, Mrs. Uzumaki. Trust me when I say that not all of your husband's friends from outside of the Land of Fire are like me."

"I…met Gaara before," Hinata replied in an unsure tone as she gingerly accepted the Iwa kunoichi's handshake.

"Oh, you mean that sandy little monkey?" Kurotsuchi remarked with a smile, "Yeah, he's one hell of a dude. His older sister's a real stick in the mud, though. Seriously though, how anal can one girl get?! I feel sorry for whoever is the poor son of a bitch living in Konoha who I hear is dating Gaara's older sister."

"That would be Shikamaru," Naruto replied in a monotone.

"Well okay then," Kurotsuchi replied. Walking forward a few steps, Kurotsuchi turned around and said, "Well then Naruto, why don't you and your new wife enjoy your time here at Chez Kurotsuchi?"

"That's not the name of the hotel, miss Kurotsuchi," remarked the hotel employee in a dry tone, "It's 'The Iwagakure Hotel'."

"Quit ruining my attempts to look cool," Kurotsuchi harshly whispered at the hotel employee. Turning to face Naruto and Hinata, Kurotsuchi said, "Well then, you two lovebirds enjoy yourselves, 'kay? Later."

After Kurotsuchi had taken her leave and the hotel employee returned to whatever he was doing, Hinata turned to regard her husband. "Naruto, dear," Hinata began, "With all due respect, how are you friends with her?"

"The same reason Choji's dad is friends with Kiba's mom," Naruto replied casually, "Now let's forget about that for now." Putting his right arm over Hinata's shoulders, Naruto gently pulled her into a hug. "I believe a certain someone wanted to go to the hotel's pool?" Naruto said to his wife, causing her to blush and giggle.

* * *

After a relaxing time at the hotel pool, Naruto and Hinata, having toweled off and gotten dressed, were relaxing back in the honeymoon suite. Laying on the bed with her arms stretched out, Hinata turned her head to look at Naruto. "I can't believe this is really happening," Hinata said aloud, "I mean, we're actually married, Naruto."

Smiling, Naruto replied, "Yeah, I can't believe it either. But it's happening. We're really married." Sitting down next to Hinata, Naruto laid down next to her, then turned his head to face his wife. "And to be honest, I'm actually looking forward to our life together," Naruto remarked.

Blushing, Hinata looked away from Naruto, too embarrassed to look at him, even though her smile clearly showed how she felt. "Umm, Naruto…" Hinata began in an embarrassed and unsure tone.

"What is it?" Naruto replied.

"Umm, seeing as how we're now married…" Hinata continued, "Well, I was thinking…that maybe…maybe we can…well, you know…"

Arching an eyebrow, Naruto regarded Hinata as his smile took on a more mischievous intent. "I think I know what you're aiming for," remarked the blonde-haired jonin, "Luckily for us, I know where the local pharmacy is, so we can get a box of-"

Naruto was cut off by a knocking at the door of the bedroom suite. "…I'll get that," Naruto said in an annoyed tone, getting up and walking over to the door. Opening it, Naruto was greeted by the sight of a hotel employee (the same one who was escorting Hinata earlier).

"I trust that you and the misses are enjoying your time here at The Iwagakure hotel'?" asked the hotel employee.

"Oh," Naruto replied as his tone changed instantly, "Oh, umm, yes. My wife and I are really enjoying our honeymoon together." (2)

"I do apologize if I had interrupted anything," the hotel employee continued, "But I thought that you and your wife would be interested in hearing that Iwagakure is currently having its yearly culture festival right now." Handing Naruto a brochure about the festival, the hotel employee said, "It started back on Thursday, but it will go on until Monday evening. I bet that seeing the culture of Iwagakure at its finest would make for a most wonderful honeymoon memory for you and the misses."

Looking over the brochure, Naruto said, "Huh. Well thank you. I'll talk it over with Hinata and see what she has to say." Nodding once in acknowledgement, the hotel employee took his leave, at which point Naruto closed the door.

Walking back to the bed where Hinata still laid, Naruto showed her the brochure. "You want to check out the Iwagakure culture festival?" Naruto asked as he handed Hinata the brochure.

Looking the brochure over, Hinata said, "This actually sounds like it'd be a lot of fun, Naruto. And hey, maybe we can pick up a nice souvenir to better remember our honeymoon."

Smiling warmly, Naruto said, "Yeah, that sounds like a nice idea. Let's do it."

* * *

Later that day, Naruto and Hinata were wandering around the Iwagakure culture festival together. "Oh, Naruto, come over here," Hinata said as she saw something at a stall.

Walking over to where his wife was calling him to, Naruto said, "Did you find something?"

Hinata pointed out a small stuffed animal of a boar; it was roughly four inches tall by four inches long. "I think that this would be a really cute gift to pick up for my sister," Hinata remarked.

Picking up the stuffed boar to take a look at it, Naruto said after giving the toy a quick examination, "Yeah, I think this would be nice, dear." Looking to the stall vendor, a balding middle-aged man with something of a paunch, Naruto asked, "How much is this?"

"That's about nine-hundred ryo," the vendor replied. As Naruto proceeded to make the purchase, the vendor said, "So, it's not every day an Iwa man such as myself sees folks from Konoha. What brings the two of you by?"

"We're actually on our honeymoon," Hinata replied, unable to help but smile.

"Ah, so the two of you are newlyweds," the vendor remarked in an amused tone, "Well in that case, I'll drop the price on that stuffed boar to eight-hundred and fifty ryo."

"Wow, thanks," Naruto replied.

"Ah, forget it," the vendor said as he held up a hand to cut off any protest, "You two lovebirds enjoy yourselves, ya here?"

After Naruto and Hinata's time at that vendor's stall, the two continued to explore the festival. After buying some Iwagakure-style kebobs from a food vendor stall (Naruto got one, Hinata got two), the newlyweds were wandering around when they heard a familiar voice call out, "Naruto? Hinata? Is that you?"

Turning around, Naruto and Hinata were surprised to see Kakashi Hatake walk up to them. "Kakashi-sensei! What are you doing here?" Naruto asked, surprised that he had bumped into his jonin instructor at the festival of all places.

"I'm visiting the Iwagakure cultural festival while I'm on leave," Kakashi explained, "What are you and Hinata doing here?"

"We're here on our honeymoon," Naruto replied, "Our wedding was two days ago, Kakashi-sensei."

"Oh, well ain't that something," Kakashi remarked. Turning to regard Hinata, Kakashi said, "And how's the married life treating you so far?"

"Oh, it's wonderful, Kakashi-sensei," Hinata replied.

Wincing in an embarrassed manner, Kakashi said, "Umm, Kurenai isn't still on my case about the twenty-thousand ryo that I owe her, is she?"

Giving the copycat ninja her best deadpan look (3), Hinata replied, "Last time she said anything about it, Kurenai-sensei said that you owed her _forty_ - _five_ thousand ryo, Kakashi-sensei."

His head slumping in defeat, Kakashi said, "Oh yeah, I forgot about her picking up the tab that one time when Gai and I both forgot our wallets."

"Well other than that, how have you been enjoying the festival so far?" Naruto asked.

Perking up a bit due to the change in topic, Kakashi said, "Well, I found something really nice that I thought both you and Hinata would appreciate. Seeing as how I wouldn't have gotten back to Konoha in time for the wedding even if I had left the instant I was told when the wedding was going to take place, think of it as part wedding gift, part apology gift."

"Ah, you don't have to apologize for that, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto replied, "Things just happen, you know?"

"I still feel rather guilty over not being able to make the wedding," Kakashi said, "This may surprise you to learn, Naruto, but I rather do enjoy going to special events." Turning to regard Hinata, Kakashi said, "So Hinata, did you see who caught the bouquet that you tossed?"

"It was Sakura," Hinata replied, and with a mischievous giggle added, "I bet seeing Sakura catch the bouquet I tossed made Sasuke freak out."

"Sasuke?" Kakashi repeated in a confused tone.

"Oh! That reminds me, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto began, "Sasuke returned to Konoha. You should hear all about what Sasuke's done since his return."

* * *

Later, Naruto, Hinata and Kakashi were enjoying some (non-alcoholic) drinks at an eating establishment as Naruto and Hinata regaled Kakashi with all of the things that Sasuke had done since returning to Konoha in an attempt to clean up his act and earn redemption.

"…And that's when Sakura told me Sasuke killed one of the village elders who had kidnapped her," Naruto said as he finished up a story, "If I recall correctly, Sakura said that Mrs. Inuzuka and Mrs. Inuzuka's dog killed the other one."

"…I still can't believe that the village elders would go so far out of line," Kakashi said, shaking his head in disbelief. Regarding the two newlyweds, Kakashi continued, "Well in any case, I'd say that Sasuke has certainly come a long way. It certainly helps him that everyone else is far too concerned with the way Kumogakure's been acting up to bother giving him any sort of grief."

"Aha!" a familiar voice called out triumphantly, "I have finally found you, Kakashi!"

Face-palming, Kakashi muttered, "You have got to be kidding me…"

Without warning, Might Gai came right up to the table booth that Kakashi, Naruto and Hinata were occupying. However, the Taijitsu master didn't even notice Naruto and Hinata, as his eyes were set firmly on his eternal rival.

"I am under strict orders from Lady Tsunade to find you, Kakashi," Gai greeted, "So that I may bring you back to Konoha before the wedding this Friday."

"Uhh, Gai…" Kakashi said.

"You were certainly a pain to find, my eternal rival," Gai went on, "Lady Tsunade said that you wouldn't be in the Land of Fire or the Land of Earth, so I tried checking the Land of Water since your student Sakura suggested that you may be visiting the museums there."

"Gai…" Kakashi said again in a tone that he wanted Gai to stop and listen. But the Taijitsu master didn't notice.

"When I didn't find you anywhere in the Land of Water, I tried the Land of Wind next," Gai went on, "Okay, to give you fair warning, I _MAY_ have soured Konoha-Suna relations somewhat due to unknowingly offending the Kazekage's sister. But seriously, though. How anal can one girl get?"

"Gai…" Kakashi repeated, his tone showing that he was starting to lose a bit of his patience.

"When the Land of Wind proved to be a bust as well, I had to think for a bit," Gai continued, "Since there was no way you'd be in the Land of Lightning due to how Kumogakure's been acting as of late, I figured that I should try checking the Land of Fire and the Land of Earth anyway on the basis that the information that Lady Tsunade gave me might have been outdated. And wouldn't you know it, I found you here in the Land of Earth!"

"Gai…" Kakashi said once again, his patience wearing even more thin.

Grabbing Kakashi by his left arm, Gai said as he tried hoisting his eternal rival up, "Well anywho Kakashi, let's get going! We got a wedding to get to back in-"

"GAI-SENSEI!" Naruto snapped, getting the attention of both jonin instructors.

When he and Kakashi turned their heads to regard Naruto, Gai said in a confused tone, "Naruto?" Turning to face Hinata, Gai said in his confused tone, "Hinata?" Looking at both newlyweds as a whole, Gai asked, "What are you two doing here? Shouldn't you be back in Konoha getting ready to get married?"

"Our wedding was a few days ago, Gai-sensei," Naruto replied as his temper at the Taijitsu master simmered down somewhat, "Hinata and I are on our honeymoon right now."

A sad look appearing across his face, Gai said, "I missed the wedding?" Slumping into a depression, Gai (somewhat forcefully) sat down next to Kakashi, making the copycat ninja scoot over. "Aww," Gai said in a disappointed tone, "I even had the perfect wedding gift in mind for the two of you."

"Naruto and I received no less than six salad shooters," Hinata remarked.

A stunned look of embarrassment crossing his face, Gai said as his gaze darted back and forth suspiciously, "Yes, err, well, umm, okay then."

"…Sorry I kept you from the wedding, Gai," Kakashi said in a sympathetic tone as he patted Gai's back in his best attempt to be sympathetic to the Taijitsu master. (4)

"Well," Gai said to Kakashi as he sniffled a bit, "I bet that I can regale you with tales of how your student Sasuke has returned to Konoha in an attempt to turn over a new-"

"Naruto and Hinata already told me everything," Kakashi interrupted.

"AWWWWWWWW!" Gai cried out in a depressed tone as he started to sob uncontrollably, making Kakashi, Naruto and Hinata wince in embarrassment.

* * *

Later that evening, Naruto and Hinata attended a live performance that was happening at the culture festival. For some reason, Gai, while dragging along a reluctant Kakashi, decided that he and his eternal rival should join the newlyweds. (5)

As they were trying to watch the live performance, Gai was regaling Naruto and Hinata with stories of the past. "…And that's why Asuma was the only one out of us jonin instructors who didn't bother to step in to keep Neji from trying to kill you during the chunnin exams," Gai said to Hinata as he recounted the latest story he was telling. Scoffing in a disgusted tone, Gai added, "Apparently, Asuma didn't think that you were worth forty-thousand ryo." (6)

"With all due respect, Gai-sensei, we're trying to pay attention to the show," Hinata whispered to the Taijitsu master.

Leaning back to get a better look at Naruto, Gai said, "Hey Naruto, you defeated Neji a month later, right?" In a teasing tone, Gai added, "I bet you did it to avenge Hinata, didn't you?"

"We're trying to watch the performance, Gai-sensei," Naruto whispered back harshly.

Sitting back straight and turning his head to regard Kakashi, Gai whispered, "Hoo boy, Kakashi. Can you believe those two? No regard for their mentors."

"Gai, performance," Kakashi whispered in a harsher tone than the one Naruto used.

Crossing his arms, Gai slumped as he muttered in an annoyed tone, "Well ain't this just the thing. I'm not getting any respect here for my epic story-telling skills."

After the performance ended, Naruto and company walked out of the open-air theater in which the performance took place. "That was a really nice performance," Kakashi remarked. Turning to face the rest of the group, Kakashi said, "Which part did you-"

Kakashi stopped short when he saw that Hinata had apparently ran off. A few seconds later, Hinata came walking back over to the group, carrying a folding fan that resembled the ones that were used in the live performance.

"…I couldn't help it," Hinata said in an embarrassed tone, "I saw that they were selling folding fans like these, and I just had to go buy one."

"Ah, say no more," Gai replied as he held up a hand to cut off any argument, "I too know the feeling of being unable to resist a spur-of-the-moment purchase." To the rest of the group as a whole, Gai continued, "Did I ever tell you guys the story of when my students and I were on a mission over in Suna about a year after the Konoha Crush? (7) While we were in the village proper, Tenten found this pair of tonfas on sale in a shop…"

(TWO HOURS LATER)

"…Leading Neji to be the first person in Suna's recorded medical history to have taken a Nunchaku to the coin purse," Gai said as he finished of his story, then added with a whistle, "Hoo boy, let me tell you that the locals weren't happy with me and Tenten, especially that blonde girl who fought Tenten during the chunnin exams." At this point, the respective right eyes of Naruto, Hinata and Kakashi were all twitching. (8)

"Well anywho," Gai said to Naruto and Hinata, "I bet that the two of you would love it if Kakashi and I gave the two of you some time alone."

"Yes, yes, we would," Hinata said instantly, "Naruto and I have been meaning to spend some alone time together ever since we came here."

"I apologize if me and Kakashi interrupted your honeymoon," Gai replied in an understanding tone, "We'll just be getting out of your hair now."

"Thank you very much," Hinata replied with a respectful nod to the jonin instructors. After Kakashi and Gai took their leave, Hinata whispered into Naruto's ear, "Let's head back to our hotel room now, dear. I'm a little… _tense_."

Knowing full well what his wife was talking about, Naruto smiled and said, "Then let me lead the way, dear." Together, the happily married couple walked, hand-in-hand, back to their room.

* * *

A few nights later, Naruto and Hinata were riding a carriage back to Konoha. It was technically morning; very early, and Hinata was sleeping in the carriage, laying against a sitting Naruto rather comfortably. Naruto did not mind at all; in fact, he rather liked having Hinata lay against him in this manner.

As the carriage came close to Konoha, Naruto looked out the window and saw a very familiar group consisting of three ninja and one ninja dog. "…Is that Mr. Fisher, Mr. Yamanaka, Mrs. Inuzuka and Mrs. Inuzuka's dog?" Naruto said quietly to himself. Indeed, when the carriage pulled up next to the group, Naruto saw that it was, in fact, Harold and his friends. The humans of the group were singing loudly and drunkenly.

Opening the window of the carriage, Naruto said, "Hey, you guys! What are you up to?"

Looking to see who it was that was talking to them, the jonin were surprised to see Naruto's head leaning out of the open window. "Naruto, dude!" Harold said loudly and drunkenly, "Wazzup?!"

"Hinata and I are coming back from our honeymoon," Naruto replied, "And could you please keep it down a bit? Hinata's sleeping." When Harold and the others all nodded in the affirmative, Naruto continued, "So anywho, what are you guys up to?"

"We're coming back from a drinking festival in Suna," Kuromaru explained, "Hence why Tsume and her friends are all drunk." (9)

"Mmm," Hinata's tired voice moaned softly, making Naruto turn to face her. "Uhn…" Hinata said groggily, "…Naruto? Are we back yet?"

"No, and sorry for waking you," Naruto replied softly, "But we literally just pulled up alongside Sakura's uncle, Ino's dad, Kiba's mom and Kiba's mom's dog. They were coming back from some sort of drinking festival that was over in Suna."

"Do they need a ride back?" Hinata asked as she slowly woke up more and more, "We should give them a lift, save them the trouble."

Nodding in agreement with his wife, Naruto turned his head back to face the three ninja and one ninja dog. "You all want a lift back to Konoha?" Naruto offered, "There is plenty of room in this carriage."

"Is it dog-friendly?" Tsume asked, arching an eyebrow in mild suspicion.

"Yes, yes, it's dog-friendly, Mrs. Inuzuka," Naruto replied. After signaling the carriage driver to stop (the carriage had been going and the three ninja and one ninja dog were walking this whole time), Naruto opened the door to let everyone in. After everyone piled into the carriage, the door was closed and the carriage took off again.

"Mmm," Tsume said as she stretched her arms, "Well ain't this just the thing! Things are going to go smoothly from here on out! I can feel it!"

* * *

"Tsume Inuzuka, you're under arrest," a Konoha shinobi said as he slammed Tsume face-first into the side of the carriage while slapping a pair of handcuffs onto the Inuzuka matriarch; of all of the things that could have happened first thing when the carriage finally pulled into Konoha, Tsume was arrested on the spot.

"What the frig for, officer?!" Tsume exclaimed in an angry and annoyed tone, "Being drunk in public?! I'd much rather be drunk in a bar, thank you very much!"

Watching as Tsume was being read her rights, Harold, Inoichi and Kuromaru turned to their right when Naruto landed next to them. "I just got Hinata to safety," Naruto said to the other shinobi. Turning to regard the shinobi that was arresting Tsume, Naruto said, "Now then, would you care to repeat what you said about a riot going on right now in Konoha?!"

"Yeah, there's a massive riot going on right now, which started about half an hour before your carriage pulled into Konoha," the shinobi explained, "From the looks of it, I'd say that the financially struggling populace of Konoha have had it up to here with the way that the wealthy elite had been allowed to act like they own the place." Shaking his head, the Konoha shinobi said, "So yeah. At least twenty percent of the total population of Konoha are rioting. The rioters include all of the financially struggling Konoha shinobi, which includes the entirety of the Inuzuka clan."

"And you're arresting Tsume on the basis that our entire clan is rioting in Konoha," Kuromaru said to the Konoha shinobi, "Even though Tsume herself has nothing to do with it."

"…Well," the Konoha shinobi said in an unsure tone, "I was told that Kiba Inuzuka, Hana Inuzuka and their respective ninja dogs sided against their clan and are trying to help quell the rioting. But that's about it from what I've heard."

"Dude, let Tsume go," Inoichi half-said, half-ordered the Konoha shinobi.

"But she's-" the Konoha shinobi began, but Harold cut her off by holding up a hand.

"Her village needs her," Harold said in a firm tone, "And even more importantly, her children need her."

Reluctantly, the Konoha shinobi let Tsume go. After the handcuffs were taken off of her, Tsume promptly turned around and punched the arresting shinobi in the face. "That's for trying to arrest me when my kids are in potential danger, you frigg'en son of a bitch!" Tsume snapped.

"Mrs. Inuzuka," Naruto said, "We can punch people who try to arrest us later. Right now, we got to group up with the shinobi trying to quell the rioting and save Konoha."

"Hells yeah!" Harold exclaimed, pumping a fist into the air.

"Top kek!" Inoichi said, giving a double thumbs-up.

Nodding in the affirmative, Naruto said, "Alright, everyone. Let's get going!" And with that, all of the ninja, even the shinobi who Tsume punched in the face, left to go assist with efforts to quell the rioting.

* * *

Much later in the morning, over in Lady Tsunade's office over at the Hokage office building, Tsunade sat at her desk and sighed in a resigned tone; the rioting had successfully been quelled, but there had been some deaths. Mostly citizens who were wealthy elite, but even one death was far too many.

Standing before Tsunade's desk were shinobi who all played a particularly big role in quelling the rioting; Naruto, Harold, Inoichi, Tsume and Kuromaru, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Choji, Kiba and Akamaru, Shino, Neji and Rock Lee. "All of the ninja who worked to keep Konoha from being consumed by rioting, no matter how small of a role that they played, are heroes today," Tsunade began, her eyes closed in concentration.

Opening her eyes, Tsunade looked at the ninja who all stood before her desk and continued, "However, the lot of you are biggest heroes of all. You all put your lives on the line today, and as such have proven yourselves as true Konoha shinobi worthy of the highest praise." Leaning back in her chair, Tsunade continued, "All of you had also shown exceptional skill and competency in combat, especially when it came to non-fatally restraining any of your fellow Konoha shinobi that any of you came across as you helped to quell the rioting." Shaking her head, Tsunade muttered, "I still cannot believe that a number of Konoha's own shinobi would actually join in on the rioting."

"To be fair, Lady Tsunade, all of the riot-quelling done by our group was mostly the work of Kiba and his friends," Kuromaru said, "Tsume, Tsume's friends and I mostly just provided the kids with back-up."

"Lady Tsunade, I have to ask," Tsume interrupted, "I heard that Hana was taken to the hospital due to taking a kunai to her right thigh. Will she be okay?"

"Yeah, I don't have to eventually go track down my sister's killer, am I?" Kiba asked in a tone that clearly suggested what he'd do if Hana actually died; Akamaru's growling that accompanied Kiba's question showed that he'd readily join his master.

"Hana is going to be just fine," Tsunade assured the Inuzuka family, "There was some blood loss, but it's no more than what she'd give when donating blood. Some stitches and making sure not to lay on the injured thigh, and Hana will be fine before you know it."

As the Inuzuka family sighed in relief, Tsunade said to all of the gathered shinobi as a whole, "Anywho, back to what I was saying. Not only did all of you show skill and competency in combat, but you did so while putting your lives on the line for the sake of the village. Thus, all of you who are still chunnin have been promoted to jonin."

"Woot!" Kiba cheered, pumping both fists into the air.

"Wait, you can just promote us to jonin out of the blue like that?" Shino asked, "Not that I'm complaining, because to make things clear I am NOT complaining, but don't we first have to go through a sort of trial to get promoted to jonin?"

"Promotion from chunnin to jonin is actually based more on having proven yourself, rather than passing a special exam," Neji explained, "In fact Shino, if you'll recall correctly, after we were all promoted to chunnin, Lady Tsunade immediately promoted me to jonin due to the role that I had played in protecting the Kazekage." (10)

"Additionally," Tsunade went on, "All of you will receive awards for services to the village."

"Well alright!" Harold cheered, "I bet that Sophia will enjoy seeing a nice shiny trophy sitting on the mantle! She's always wanted to show off to her friends how awesome of a ninja I am!"

"It's…actually going to be a shield-shaped wooden plaque with a small silver plate attached to the front, etched with the name of whoever received it," Tsunade said, "It's going to be more along the lines of 'hanging on the wall' rather than 'sitting on the mantle'. Although for those of you who were already jonin, your silver plate will be swapped out for a golden one."

"This is still going to be awesome," Harold said, "Hoo boy, wait until Sakura and I tell Sophia about this! I bet she'll love hearing that our niece was pro-"

"Sakura wasn't promoted," Tsunade interrupted, "She's still a chunnin."

"What about Ino?" Inoichi asked, "What about my precious little princess?"

"She's still a chunnin as well," Tsunade said over snickering from Shikamaru and Choji, "And before anyone asks, the same goes for Hinata and Tenten. None of the girls actively participated in quelling the riot."

"Wait a minute, what about Hana?" Tsume asked, "She took part in trying to stop the riot."

"Ma, Hana was promoted to jonin about a year ago," Kiba pointed out.

A mildly stunned look on her face, Tsume replied, "Oh, well, umm…okay then."

"Anywho, now that you all have been told what you needed to be told of, you are dismissed," Tsunade said. Sighing in an annoyed tone, the Fifth Hokage said, "I have a nightmarish amount of paperwork to go through, mostly legal stuff related to the riot."

After all of the jonin left Tsunade's office, they had all reached the first floor when they ran into Sakura, Ino, Hinata and Tenten. "I was so worried!" Hinata exclaimed upon seeing Naruto, running up to him and throwing her arms around him.

"Dad, when I walked into the living room this morning after waking up, mom was crying, saying that you were going to get killed," Ino said, eyeing her father with a concerned look.

"Ino, sweetie, didn't I tell you to tell your mother that I'm immortal?" Inoichi replied.

"…Just tell me what happened, dad," Ino said, giving her father a deadpan look.

And so, the girls were told about everything that had happened, from the massive riot, to the riot eventually being quelled, right up to the briefing that they had just gotten out of. "…Oh, and all of your friends who were still chunnin are now jonin," Inoichi said, finishing his story to Ino and the other girls, "You girls are still chunnin, though."

"Wow, you guys are now all jonin?!" Tenten said as she regarded her friends, "Congratulations! This calls for a celebration!"

"Let's all get hammered!" Tsume exclaimed, pumping both of her fists into the air.

"Ma, my friends and I are still underage," Kiba pointed out.

END, CHAPTER TWELVE

Author's Notes:

(1) Kurotsuchi's grandfather, the Tsuchikage, was making a scene at the hotel one time, causing the staff no end of embarrassment and grief. Kurotsuchi's quick thinking and actions saved the hotel staff's collective rear end.

(2) When Naruto referred to her as his wife at that moment, Hinata had heard, giggling cutely in response.

(3) It's the most adorable deadpan look that anyone will ever see, BTW.

(4) It wasn't all that sincere of an attempt. Not that Gai noticed.

(5) Kakashi was reluctant because he wanted to leave Naruto and Hinata be on their honeymoon.

(6) There has to be a reason why Asuma didn't join in to keep Neji from trying to kill Hinata during the chunnin exams (at least one that isn't this mean-spirited).

(7) For those unfamiliar, that's the name of the Suna-Oto attack on Konoha that interrupted the chunnin exams.

(8) If it was left eyes only, then you couldn't tell with Kakashi.

(9) Kuromaru was the only one who didn't drink any beer. Because Kuromaru is a dog.

(10) This actually happened in the anime. I'm not making this up.

Well, there's chapter twelve done and out of the way. I was originally going to go for a coup d'état instead of a riot, but I changed it to a riot mostly because I have trouble seeing the Inuzuka clan trying to run Konoha. Anywho, the next chapter will feature an incident that was mentioned in the Harold story that I've been working on. As a side note, I'm getting close to rounding off this story as a whole. I'm thinking that the story will be done after chapter fifteen or sixteen.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.

Guess who's back?

Chapter thirteen: The Konoha Car Crisis

Hiashi Hyuga, leader of Konoha's illustrious Hyuga clan, was reading the morning paper. His eyes caught an article about a recent riot that broke out in Konoha, making him sigh in a tone that was three parts disgusted, seven parts disappointed; the wealthy elite of Konoha had, up until that point, been keeping the financially struggling under their thumb, as if it was a right given unto them by some divine cosmic power. The downtrodden had finally snapped, and in an explosive burst of emotion, they rioted.

The article went on to list the names of those who were killed in the riots; most of the victims were wealthy elite, with the only exceptions being an elderly male citizen who was out for a very early morning walk, and two of the rioting Konoha shinobi, who were killed by Konoha jonin (and Hiashi's son-in-law) Naruto Uzumaki.

As his eyes scanned the list of victims, Hiashi saw to his regret that most of the Hyuga clan's main branch elders were listed; it was a very heart-wrenching experience for the Hyuga clan lord to go to the local morgue to identify the remains of his clansmen. If there was one bright spot in all of this grief, however, it was that Hiashi was finally able to go through with the changes he wanted to make concerning the debt that the Inuzuka clan owed the Hyuga.

Due to original conditions of the loan, mostly how interest on the debt was managed, the main branch elders had kept the Inuzuka clan in debt for at least three generations. Hiashi decided that the Inuzuka clan only owed the Hyuga clan the original sum that they had borrowed in the first place which, while still a substantial amount, was still paid off in full over seven years prior. In an attempt to smooth out feathers and possibly secure a future allied clan, the Hyuga clan returned all of the ryo to the Inuzuka that paid them that was not part of the original sum. Never let it be said about the man that Hiashi is not reasonable.

Especially considering the fact that a good number of the rioting ninja were members of the Inuzuka clan (aside from Tsume Inuzuka, her two children, and all of their respective ninja dogs). But then again, Hiashi darkly thought that what happened to the main branch elders happened because they brought it down upon themselves. The Inuzuka clan's part in the riot was yet another reason why Hiashi wanted to let up on the debt that they owed to the Hyuga; after seeing what they were capable of when pushed into a corner, the Hyuga clan lord decided that it was best to give the Inuzuka clan some breathing room.

After considering the newspaper article about the riot for long enough, Hiashi turned the page and saw, to his piqued interest, that there is a new invention of sorts that will be hitting the streets of Konoha within the next few days. Called 'personal automobiles', these are something akin to motor-powered horseless carriages that will be produced on a mass scale so that anyone who can afford on can buy one. After reading further into the newspaper article about these 'personal automobiles', the Hyuga clan lord thought about how they would change the lives of the villagers, and the village as a whole.

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha, having returned to Konoha very recently, was following his old teammate (and now girlfriend) Sakura Haruno over to her aunt and uncle's place one day. The last Uchiha, who had very recently been promoted to jonin, was apprehensive about this visit; he had met Sakura's Aunt Sophia and Uncle Harold a while ago and, while Sophia was a calm and mild mannered woman, Harold was…nothing short of eccentric, to put things mildly. (1) "Why are we visiting your aunt and uncle's place again, Sakura?" Sasuke asked.

"My Uncle Harold said something about getting a 'new toy' of some kind, and that he wanted to show it off to the rest of the family," Sakura explained, "My parents have already seen it, with my father even saying that it's one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen in his life. My mother, on the other hand, said that she slapped my uncle upside his head while chewing him out for buying something so dangerous."

"…Okay," Sasuke replied, "Since at least one of your parents gave this 'new toy' of your uncle's a thumbs-up, then it has to be something that's not _completely_ stupid."

"I agree," Sakura said with a nod, "Although since it was my father who gave his approval, then there's a chance that whatever this 'new toy' that my Uncle Harold got is still pretty stupid."

Eventually, the last Uchiha and the pink-haired chunnin reached the Fisher residence, and when they did their respective gazed were immediately drawn to the car that was sitting parked outside the house along the street. Sakura's Uncle Harold, along with Harold's friends Inoichi Yamanaka and Tsume Inuzuka, plus Tsume's ninja dog Kuromaru, were standing around the car, looking at it as they whistled in admiration.

"Wow, so you got the light gray one, huh?" Inoichi said when he turned his head to face his best friend, "I wanted the red one, but Michelle wanted me to get the white one while Ino thought the purple one was nice."

"Which one did you decide to get, man?" Harold asked.

"Well first I flipped a coin," Inoichi began to explain, "Then I rolled a six-sided dice, then I used one of those paper fortune teller thingies (2), and then I used a set of tarot cards before deciding to go with the color that my daughter picked. In hindsight, I think Ino has a good taste in colors."

Sighing in an understanding tone, Harold said, "Yeah, I get what you mean. I wanted the pink one since it would match my hair, but Sophia said that the light gray one had more of an air of class to it. Seeing as how Sophia knows classy stuff, as she is a classy lady, I went with Sophia's pick."

"Hey, Uncle Harold!" Sakura called out, getting the adults to turn and see her and Sasuke approach.

"Ah, Cherry Bug!" Harold called back, "How's it going?"

Wincing slightly in embarrassment due to her uncle using the embarrassing nickname from her early childhood, Sakura said, "I came over because you said you wanted me to see some 'new toy' that you got. I hope you don't mind that I brought Sasuke along."

"Well, since the both of you are old enough to consider getting ones yourselves, I don't see any harm in Sasuke seeing my new personal automobile along with you," Harold replied as he gestured to his new car, prompting his niece and her boyfriend to look, "They're called cars."

"Hey, I read about these cars in a newspaper article a few days back," Sasuke remarked, "Don't they run on some sort of combustible fuel?"

"Combustible fuel?!" Sakura remarked, turning to face Sasuke, "That sounds dangerous!"

"It's no danger at all, Sakura," Harold insisted as he got the two late teens' attention again, "In fact, the cars that were developed had to go through multiple tests to make sure that they would not randomly explode before mass producing them to sell to everyone."

"RANDOMLY EXPLODE?!" Sakura exclaimed in fright, making Sasuke wince as he covered his left ear (Sakura stood on his left).

"It's entirely safe now, young lady," Inoichi assured his daughter's friend, "In fact, I got a car myself."

"I haven't gone through the test to get certified to drive a car yet, so I don't own a car," Tsume remarked, "But do you think that these cars would have special seats for dogs?"

"Test?" Sasuke said in a curious tone, "What do you mean 'test'?"

"There's a special test that you have to go through before you're legally allowed to drive a car," Kuromaru explained, "If you pass, you get your picture taken and slapped onto a card called a 'Driver's License'. Having this 'Driver's License' on hand allows one to legally drive a car."

"Hmm, that makes sense," Sasuke remarked, "The test probably makes sure that you not only know how to drive a car, but can drive one safely, as well as follow any rules that come along with driving."

"Which is part of the reason why I'm surprised that both Harold and Inoichi were able to get certified," Kuromaru remarked in a snarky tone.

"Oh, come on," Sakura replied, "Sure, my uncle and Ino's dad can both be a tad reckless at times, but they are still both highly experienced jonin-ranked Konoha ninja who, when it comes down to it, can be trusted in a pinch. You should give them more credit."

"Hey dude," Inoichi said to Harold, both men oblivious to the conversation between Sakura and Kuromaru, "Do you think that we can operate one of these while drinking a Pape Konoha's Brand Lager?" Since they had heard Inoichi pose this question, Kuromaru and Sakura looked back to each other, with the ninja dog giving the pink-haired chunnin a dry look.

"…Point taken," Sakura replied to Kuromaru, her shoulders slumping somewhat in defeat.

* * *

The next day, Sakura Haruno was over at a public office, waiting in line to take the driver's certification test; she figured that if her uncle, of all people, can get certified to drive not long after the first personal automobiles hit the streets, then the test should be a snap for her to pass. There was a written portion to the test that had to be passed before the actual driving portion, and Sakura passed that with flying colors. As she was called in to take the actual driving portion, the pink-haired chunnin wondered how her uncle passed the written portion of the test, given that it was mostly logic and common sense.

When Sakura walked out into the parking lot where she'd get into the student driver vehicle, she saw the driving instructor; he was a mid-fifties regular citizen who was about a head shorter than Sakura, proportionally as slim as Sakura, and had orange-red hair (he was starting to bald). The driving instructor also wore a white short-sleeved dress shirt under a green sweater vest, tan slacks, brown loafers, and black horn-rimmed glasses.

Without looking up from the clipboard he was holding, the driving instructor said, "I'm Mitch Steinburg, and I'll be your driving instructor for the day." Looking up from his clipboard, Mitch saw Sakura and, arching an eyebrow out of curiosity, said, "You wouldn't happen to be related to that Harold Fisher man, wouldn't you?"

"He's my uncle," Sakura replied, "Why do you ask?"

"Well, let's just say that he very nearly scared the life out of me with his driving," Mitch replied, then added as he led Sakura over to the practice car, "Let's hope that you are not the same."

* * *

Over in another parking lot that was part of the driving school, Hinata Uzumaki was climbing into the driver's seat of the practice car. Her driving instructor was sitting in the passenger seat already; he looked like Sakura's driving instructor, except that his hair was brown (and not balding), he had something of a paunch, his horn-rimmed glasses were brown, and his sweater vest was red plaid.

"So then, young lady…" the driving instructor said to Hinata before stopping short to check his clipboard, "…Is it Mrs. Hyuga or Mrs. Uzumaki?"

"Mrs. Uzumaki," Hinata replied (3), "Hyuga is my maiden name."

"Well then, Mrs. Uzumaki," the driving instructor said, "On my signal, you may start the driving portion of your driver's test." Nodding in the affirmative, Hinata waited until she was given the cue to start.

* * *

Over in one area of Konoha, two female Konoha citizens were talking to Temari, who had come from Suna to visit Konoha. "…You're the Kazekage's older sister," one the women began at Temari, "But your boyfriend's father _still_ gives you grief for not being a naturally born citizen of the Land of Fire?"

"That's nothing," Temari replied with a shake of her head. Temari was about to continue, but a loud honking noise from out of nowhere startled Temari and the women she was talking with; not two seconds later, Temari was hit by a car and sent flying, while the women she was talking to managed to get out of the way. As the two women scrambled to get Temari some medical attention, the occupants of the car that had hit Temari, Inoichi and his friends, were all screaming in a freaked-out manner. They were screaming like this even before they had hit Temari.

"Dude!" Inoichi exclaimed in a freaked-out manner, "I think I just hit that girl from Suna that Shikaku's son is dating!"

"Step on the brakes, dumbass!" Kuromaru exclaimed half worriedly-half angrily (Kuromaru sat in the back seat with Tsume; Harold occupied the front passenger seat, directly in front of the ninja dog), "Step on the breaks!"

"I'm hitting the breaks as hard as I can, dude!" Inoichi exclaimed, stomping down on the brake pedal with all of his might, "It's not working! THE BREAKS AREN'T WORKING!"

"I got it!" Harold said to his best friend, "I'll stomp down on your foot while it's stomping down on the brake pedal! Two feet stomping down on the brakes will have more effect than one!"

"That's brilliant, man! Do it!" Inoichi begged as the Yamanaka patriarch seemed to be on the verge of tears, "Do it before this murder machine we're trapped in hits-"

*WHAM!*

Freaked out, Harold looked out the passenger side window to see what had happened. "Holy crap!" the Fisher patriarch exclaimed, "Inoichi, dude, you just hit that girl from Kumo who's dating Choza's son!"

"OH NO!" Inoichi cried out in despair, "She's actually a GOOD Kumo native!"

Looking out the backseat window, Kuromaru said, "Hey Inoichi, isn't that your daughter's boyfriend down there?" Looking over the best he can, Inoichi saw that, just as Kuromaru had said, Sai was walking along a sidewalk at the bottom of the hill that Inoichi was driving on.

Down at the base of the hill, Sai had bumped into a friendly old lady. After apologizing for bumping into the old lady, Sai proceeded to continue on his way…that is until he was hit and sent flying by Inoichi's out-of-control car, which had gone off the road and down the hill. The nice old lady wasn't hit, though.

"…Oh no," Inoichi said, oddly calmly, in a quiet worried tone as he managed to get his car back into a straight path, "I just hit my daughter's boyfriend."

"…I can tell full well that you're faking it, Inoichi," Kuromaru said in a disgusted tone, although it was hard to tell the tone of the ninja dog's response due to Harold and Tsume laughing so much and so hard.

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Hinata screamed at the top of her lungs as she and her driving instructor stood outside of the now parked practice car; while she was taking her driver's test, she had lost control of her car when the brakes refused to work; as a result, she rammed someone into the side of a building.

To make matters worse, the man that the Uzumaki woman had hit was Teuchi, the person who owned and operated Ichiraku Ramen; Naruto, Hinata's husband, not only likes eating at Ichiraku Ramen, but he is also considered a good friend by Teuchi. "Easy now," Hinata's driving instructor said in an attempt to calm Hinata down, "The brakes malfunctioned, meaning that this was a total accident that you were not-"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Hinata screamed again as tears started running down the sides of her face; the first ever time she was behind the wheel of a car, and she had hit someone! There has to be laws concerning things like this!

* * *

"You…you saved my life," Sakura's driving instructor said in a tone of shocked amazement; when the practice car's brakes malfunctioned making the car incapable of stopping, Sakura quickly got out of the car, jumped ahead of it, then punched down on the hood with her right fist; the pink-haired chunnin was able to do this thanks her speed and agility as a ninja, and the super-strength skill she had learned from Lady Tsunade.

"What happened back there, though?" Sakura asked, "When I stepped on the brakes, they didn't work. Aren't they supposed to work when I step on them?"

"The brakes are supposed to work when you step on them, yes," Sakura's driving instructor replied with a single nod in the affirmative, "But the fact that they didn't means that there's something wrong with the brake system of the car." Shaking his head, the driving instructor said, "Hoo boy, I hope that this doesn't happen to other cars in Konoha."

* * *

Later that evening, Lady Tsunade sat at her desk in her office over at the Hokage office building. The day had not been good; most, if not ALL, of the cars that had hit Konoha streets not only had faulty brake systems (which eventually ended up leading to the first automobile recall in the history of the ninja world), but the brake systems in question decided to crap out _all at once_.

This had led to all cars being driven at the time to go out of control, which resulted in the deaths of eighty-five Konoha citizens, both regular and some shinobi; seventy-nine of those deaths were pedestrians (which included all of the slain shinobi) that were hit by cars, five were drivers, and one was a six-year-old boy who was a front seat passenger. In addition, two pedestrians who were not native to the Land of Fire were also killed, bringing the total up to eighty-seven.

To make matters worse, one of the non-Land of Fire natives was the older sister of Gaara, the Kazekage, leader of Sunagakure (you know, the ALLY of Konohagakure). Lady Tsunade had _**NO**_ idea how she was going to break this news to Gaara; maybe she'd get Naruto to do it for her (Naruto and Gaara are reportedly besties).

Leaning back in her chair, the Fifth Hokage gave a troubled sigh. Even if you exclude Gaara's older sister and Karui (no way was Tsunade going to send that poor girl's remains back to Kumo, considering that the girl gave up on her village due to how they've been acting), Konoha still suffered eighty-five deaths this day; that's more deaths than what was suffered in the Konoha Crush, Pain's attack, the Fourth Great Ninja War and the Konoha Riots _combined_. (4)

As Tsunade sat back up to go over the report, she looked to her left to see a sheet of paper attached to a clipboard; a number of ideas for laws related to automobiles were written on the sheet of paper. If there was one good thing to come out of the chaos that was this day, it was that there would now be a number of laws that are meant to help prevent future repeats of what had been come to known at the Konoha Car Crisis.

The first thing on the list was to create a car safety organization of some kind, to make sure cars are made properly, with proper parts (particularly brake systems) that won't just crap out on the driver randomly.

* * *

The following day, an investigation into the Konoha Car Crisis was conducted; as it turned out, the break systems that were in all of the cars were not properly tested before use, which would have caught the defective brake systems and prevented their usage. While a number of lawsuits were filed against the company that had produced the faulty cars, a memorial service was being held for the victims that were killed.

Sasuke and Sakura, both dressed in black, attended the mass service for the victims that was held in Konoha. The last Uchiha and the pink-haired chunnin had run into the Uzumakis, who were talking to Naruto's friend Gaara and Gaara's older brother Kankuro, who both came for the service; Tsunade had expected the Kazekage to act angry and brooding over the death of his older sister. Granted, Gaara _was_ upset, but not in the manner that the Fifth Hokage had anticipated; Gaara was crying loudly, choking up occasionally as he sobbed, and had already gone through more than one whole box of tissues by the time Sasuke and Sakura showed up.

"…Well despite Lady Tsunade's beliefs to the contrary, Gaara is the same as any other normal human being," Naruto said when Sakura spoke up about how Lady Tsunade expected Gaara to react upon hearing that his sister was killed.

"So, did you hear how the courts were going to decide who's responsible for what yet?" Sasuke asked, "A lot of people are going to want to know who to blame for their friends and family getting killed in the crisis."

"Konoha government has reached the conclusion that, since it was the brake systems of the cars failing that resulted in the deaths and not any malicious intent, the people who were behind the wheels of the cars that went out of control cannot legally be held accountable for any of the deaths they had caused yesterday," Naruto explained, "It's been decided that all of the deaths are the responsibility of the car manufacturer, as their negligence led to the crisis in the first place."

"I'm getting the best damn lawyer in the Land of Wind," Gaara muttered between sobs.

Sighing in an understanding tone, Naruto said, "Just remember, Gaara, that since your sister was killed on the grounds of a friendly foreign land, that the case regarding her will be taken to the courts in the Land of Iron, as they handle all of the international court cases."

"I'm sorry for your loss, guys," Sasuke said sympathetically to the sand siblings, "I too know the pain of losing one's loved ones."

Over at another area in the memorial service, Harold was talking to Inoichi, Tsume and Kuromaru; the three humans were all wearing all black (Kuromaru didn't have to worry about this as he is a dog, and the only thing he ever wears, his eyepatch, is black anyway). As they talked, they heard someone making a forced coughing noise from behind; turning, Harold, Inoichi, Tsume and Kuromaru saw Shikaku and Choza standing there with Shikamaru, Choji and Ino (it was Choza who had made the forced cough).

"…I believe you have something to say, Inoichi?" Choza began.

"Oh, come on!" Inoichi exclaimed, "It was a total frigg'en accident! I couldn't get my car to stop, no matter how many times Harold and I stomped down on the brakes simultaneously!"

"We're fully aware that your car's brakes didn't work," Shikaku replied in an understanding but firm tone, "And as such, you can't be held legally accountable for what you did. Even so, it'd be nice if you say what you have to say."

Sighing, Inoichi said, "Fine." Looking to Shikamaru, the Yamanaka patriarch said, "Shikamaru, I'm sorry for hitting and killing your girlfriend with my car."

"And?" Choza prompted.

To Choji, Inoichi said, "Choji, I'm sorry for hitting and killing _your_ girlfriend with my car."

"Now there's one last thing you have to say, Inoichi," Shikaku remarked in a knowing tone.

Sighing in a somewhat exasperated tone, Inoichi said, "I know, I know." To his daughter, Inoichi said, "Ino, I'm sorry for hitting and killing your boyfriend with my car."

With a look on his face that was two parts stunned, one part surprised and seven parts confused, Shikaku said, "Wait a minute, Inoichi, you were supposed to say 'I hope that you two boys can forgive me'." While Shikaku saw saying this, Ino shook visibly while her eyes started watering up a lot.

Seeing the look on Ino's face, Kuromaru muttered in a deadpan tone, "Ah crap."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Ino cried, screaming so loudly that a circular wave of sound panned outward from the Yamanaka chunnin; the volume of the cry was not only loud enough to make everyone within a certain radius cover their ears, but it also shattered nearby glass. The soundwave also had enough pushing force to knock some people off their feet, throwing them back; when the soundwave reached where Sasuke and the others were talking, the soundwave threw Sakura, Hinata and Kankuro back about a dozen feet.

After Ino finished that first cry, as she had run out of air, she started breathing in for a second cry when Shikamaru, quickly and smartly, decided to cover Ino's mouth with his hand. "I know you're upset over losing someone, Ino," Shikamaru said, "But so is most everyone else here! They all already lost someone close to them, they don't need to lose their hearing either!"

The adults and Choji looked at Ino with wide-eyed looks of shock. "… _The lungs on that girl_ ," Kuromaru thought as he regarded Ino with equal parts fear (5) and amazement."

* * *

Lady Tsunade was sitting in her office in the Hokage office building a few days later. The remains of Gaara's late sister had been taken back to Suna, where a private ceremony was held in the sand sister's memory. Tsunade got a first-hand account of what a Suna memorial service was like since Naruto was there; Gaara invited Naruto, along with Hinata by virtue of the fact that she's Naruto's wife, to come pay respects.

Tsunade was intrigued to hear from Naruto that, apparently, deceased Suna natives can be buried in a casual outfit if they had said that they wanted it in their will (in Konoha, it's required by law for villagers to bury their deceased in outfits that Tsunade would describe as 'church-wear', regardless of the last wishes of the deceased).

Also, the deceased in Suna are buried with an item that meant a lot to them in life, in the belief that they'll want to bring it with them into the next life; Gaara felt that Temari would want to be buried with her giant fan, but it was somehow lost in the chaos of the KCC (Konoha Car Crisis), so Temari was instead buried with a stuffed animal that had meant a lot to her while she was growing up. (6)

As Tsunade was going over some paperwork, Shizune came in. "Umm, sorry if I'm interrupting anything, Lady Tsunade," Shizune began, "But this letter came for you." Shizune walked up to Tsunade's desk and handed her the letter. Opening the letter, Tsunade read its contents, her eyes widening slowly but surely with each second. After finishing reading the letter, Tsunade folded it back up and laid it on her desk. After shifting her gaze from where the letter laid on her desk to where Shizune stood, Tsunade smiled.

"What is it, Lady Tsunade?" Shizune asked.

"An old friend of mine is paying Konoha a visit two days from now," Tsunade explained, "Finally, something good is happening in Konoha! Prepare the guest rooms, Shizune! We're having visitors!"

"But you said 'an old friend'," Shizune remarked in a confused tone.

"Well she's bringing her handmaidens with her," Tsunade pointed out, "They're going to need some rooms to sleep in, too!"

END, GUESS WHO'S BACK? CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Author's Notes:

(1) _ **VERY**_ mildly.

(2) A cootie catcher (Inoichi doesn't know that that's what they're called).

(3) Inwardly, Hinata giggled like a very excited schoolgirl when she had identified herself as 'Mrs. Uzumaki'.

(4) By at least fifteen deaths.

(5) Kuromaru doesn't like loud noises.

(6) It was an eight-inch-tall stuffed animal of a dog. Temari had named it 'Ruff'. She had it since she was five.

…And that is how Ino became the Dragonborn. Well anywho, there's chapter thirteen. Although it is a sad and violent chapter, it _does_ explain why things are the way that they are in the adventures of Harold and company. …Well, _some_ of the things are explained. More of those things will be explained in the next chapter (of this story).


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.

Guess who's back?

Chapter fourteen: The fat, the cat, and the flat

Lady Tsunade, the fifth (and current) Hokage, alongside her assistant Shizune, stood outside the Hokage office building one day in the village of Konohagakure. Tsunade had recently received news that an old friend of hers was coming to visit Konoha; Shizune didn't have much of a clue as to who it was, but judging by the fact that Tsunade said that her friend was bringing handmaidens with her, this friend of Tsunade's must be very wealthy. Her curiosity getting the best of her, Shizune finally decided to speak up.

"Who is this friend of yours that's visiting, Lady Tsunade?" Shizune asked.

Smiling, Tsunade said, "She's a woman of some greater age than me. She saved my hide more times than I can count back when I was younger. She now currently rules over the Land of Soda." (1)

"The Land of Soda?" Shizune repeated in a mildly confused tone.

"It's a smaller nation close to the Land of Fire," Tsunade explained, "It's also a relatively new nation as well, having been founded about fifteen years back. Despite its small size compared to the five great nations, the Land of Soda is actually quite the economic power, thanks to being a mass producer of snacks and drinks. Its soda is by far its most popular product, hence why it's called the Land of Soda."

"And your old friend currently rules the Land of Soda?" Shizune asked.

"Not only that, but she actually founded the Land of Soda, if you want a more accurate description," Tsunade replied. Shaking her head, Tsunade added, "Heh, I bet old lady Koharu will be happy to see me."

"Wait, what?!" Shizune exclaimed, "Your friend's name is Koharu?! Like the village elder who was killed?!"

"I know, I know," Tsunade remarked, "Weird, right? My old friend has the same name as one of those bastard elders who tried holding Sakura hostage. But trust me, Shizune, when I say that my old friend Koharu is a very cool lady."

"If you say so," Shizune replied. Looking forward, Shizune said, "So your friend Koharu founded an economically powerful nation."

Nodding in the affirmative, Tsunade said, "The Land of Soda actually has a stronger economy than Iwa or Kiri. (2) Koharu's visit here actually serves a two-fold purpose; one, for Koharu and I to catch up, and two, to form a potential alliance between our respective lands."

"Isn't that something that should be up to the Land of Fire's daimyo?" Shizune asked.

"He's visiting Konoha too," Tsunade added casually, making Shizune jump up out of shock.

* * *

Later, a procession made its way into Konohagakure; the streets were lined with Konoha natives, citizens and shinobi alike, as they cheered for the arrival of their guests and potential allies (slash financial backers). Choji Akimichi, Shino Aburame and Kiba Inuzuka and Akamaru were watching the procession from somewhere in the crowd. "Well ain't this quite the show, isn't it?" Kiba remarked, "Konoha's got itself some visitors."

"I hear that Lady Koharu, the ruler of the Land of Soda, actually has an entire clan of shinobi under her employ," Shino remarked, "Very rare for the ruler of a nation that lacks a proper ninja village."

"An entire clan, ehh?" Kiba remarked, "You know which clan it is, dude?"

Nodding in the affirmative, Shino said, "It's the N-"

*SNORT*

Having been cut off, Shino looked to his right (Kiba and Akamaru were on Shino's left) to see Choji, who was sniffling and snorting as he was obviously failing to not cry. Seeing the tears run down the side of his friend's face, Shino said, "…You're still upset over Karui's death, aren't you, Choji?"

"W-we put her baked ch-chicken with orange j-j-juice r-r-recipe in the clan c-c-cookbook, as a t-tribute to her," Choji stammered through his crying.

Leaning forward somewhat to see Choji, Kiba said with a sympathetic look, "Wow, man. I can see one of the reasons why she liked you; you're open with your emotions. Girls like that in a guy." As Choji tried to quiet down on his crying, Kiba asked, "You going to be okay, man?"

Whining in a worried tone, Akamaru walked up to Choji and started licking his left hand, which hung down at his side. Smiling, Choji used his left hand to ruffle the top of Akamaru's head, getting some tail-wagging out of the Inuzuka ninja dog. "I'm going to be fine," Choji said to his friends, "Thanks for the-"

Choji was cut off, however, when a large explosion went off on the one side of the procession, making the populace panic as Konoha shinobi and Land of Soda guardsmen scrambled to find who was responsible and capture them. "Yo dudes, let's get out of here!" Kiba exclaimed as he and his friends all covered their heads.

"Right!" Choji remarked, leading the way as he, Kiba and Shino all ran in a somewhat crouched position as they continued to cover their heads; Akamaru, with his tail between his hind legs, followed after Kiba.

* * *

Over in Tsunade's office over in the Hokage office building, Tsunade sat at her desk, with Shizune standing close by, as an older woman sat in a chair in front of her; this older woman wore a black kimono with gold trim around the ends of the sleeves, had her hair up in an elaborate style, and wore glasses. She also had a simple cane, black with a gold-colored orb at the top. The older woman nervously gripped the gold-colored orb on her cane. Four Land of Soda guardsmen stood behind the older woman in a sort-of curved wall formation.

"As it turned out, those who attacked your procession were citizens who participated in the recent riot that rocked Konoha, Koharu," Tsunade said to the older woman, "They were not happy about how they were stopped before they could carry out everything that they had wanted to do in the riot, and they still have a hatred for the wealthy elite. We have half a dozen of the attackers in custody, but reports put the actual number of attackers at three times that number, at the very least."

Sighing, Koharu said, "Well at least we know why the attacked happened and who's to blame. But that's not what I'm really focusing on right now."

A look of mild surprise on her face, Tsunade said, "You're _not_ focusing on the attack?"

"Not really, although the attack is responsible for what I'm worried about," Koharu replied. Sighing, Koharu continued, "The attack made my handmaidens scatter. I have no idea where they are."

"Ah yes, you told me you had three handmaidens," Tsunade remarked, "Do you have a picture of them? I can begin a search for them."

Pulling up a purse that was sitting on the floor to her right, Koharu opened it and pulled out a photo, handing it over to Tsunade. The photo showed three girls that were around the same age as Sakura and her friends.

The girl on the far left of the photo had straight, long black hair, wore an oversized hooded coat (the hood was down) that was closed down the front, baggy cargo pants that reached halfway down her shins, and a pair of sandals. The girl was also, for some reason, wearing sunglasses.

The girl in the middle was noticeably well-fed. Her hair was straight, shoulder-length and a light brown color. She wore a long-sleeved pale orange shirt under a pale-yellow t-shirt, a skirt of the same color as her long-sleeved shirt (the skirt reached three-fourths down her shins), and a pair of sandals similar to that of the first girl. Unlike the first girl, who gave off a bored monotone air, the second girl seemed very cheerful.

The girl on the far right wore a shinobi vest modeled after the one that standard issue to Konoha shinobi of or above the chunnin rank. She also wore pants that reached half-way down her shins and a pair of shinobi sandals. The symbol on the metal plate on the third girl's headband resembled the stereotypical outline of a cat's head. The third girl that the same exact style and color of hair as the first girl, except that the third girl's hair was noticeably longer. To Tsunade's surprise, a cat the size of Akamaru stood next to the third girl.

"I'll get detailed sketches of each individual girl's face made so I can hand them off to shinobi I'll put on the case," Tsunade said, "Umm…should I also include one for the cat?"

"No need," Koharu replied, "Mayamaru is always with Sakaki, so you'll get two birds with one stone."

"Sakaki?" Shizune interrupted, drawing the attention of Tsunade, Koharu and the guardsmen.

"Is there a problem, Shizune?" Tsunade asked.

"Isn't that a name usually given to girls associated with the Nekozuka clan?" Shizune asked.

"Why yes," Koharu replied, "The Nekozuka clan is in my employ. They sort of the special forces of the Land of Soda's military might, one could say."

"A Nekozuka clan ninja, with her ninja cat no less, is lost somewhere in Konoha," Shizune remarked in a mildly worried tone, "Konoha, the home village of the Inuzuka clan."

"Ah crap," Tsunade swore, instantly recognizing why Shizune was so worried. To Koharu, Tsunade said, "Well, we better get things moving quickly before someone from the Inuzuka finds your handmaiden with the ninja cat. What are their names again? I'll also need the names of your other handmaidens as well."

"Well those two are Sakaki Nekozuka and her ninja cat Mayamaru," Koharu began as she pointed to the photo. Pointing to another spot on the photo, Koharu continued, "The girl in the middle is Chomi Stuffmor." Pointing to the girl in the photo on the far left, Koharu said, "My third handmaiden…actually doesn't have a name."

"She doesn't have a name?" Tsunade asked, eyeing her old friend in confusion.

"I had rescued her from a life of hard slavery that she had been forced into when she was taken from her family at too young an age to remember most of anything," Koharu explained, "Her captors never gave her a name or bothered to refer to her as anything other than 'Slave Girl'. Until she gets a proper name for herself, I'm referring to her as Young Lady."

"Well that won't be confusing at all," Tsunade remarked sarcastically as she looked at the photo again. Looking back up to Koharu, Tsunade said, "Don't worry. We'll find your handmaidens in next to no time. I guarantee it."

* * *

Two adult Konoha shinobi of undetermined rank scrambled as they ran away from a fight that they were losing badly. As the two shinobi ran, the person who was beating them, Lady Koharu's first handmaiden Sakaki, was laughing boastfully; Mayamaru, Sakaki's ninja cat, stood at his owner's side. "That's right, run!" Sakaki laughed as the two Konoha shinobi ran away, "The cornered cat will scratch back!"

"I believe you mean 'the cornered rat will bite the cat', miss Sakaki," remarked Mayamaru, "And even then, I don't think that saying applies here; they weren't cornering you, you went up to them and starting attacking them."

"Ehh, I wanted to see how Konoha's ninja measure up to the Land of Soda's ninja, Mayamaru," Sakaki replied, "And why would a rat bite a cat? Cats are superior to rats."

"The cat has a point," a gruff voice called out, getting the attention of Sakaki and Mayamaru. After the two looked around, Sakaki eventually saw Kiba and Akamaru approach. Eyeing Sakaki suspiciously, Kiba said, "I don't recognize your headband's symbol. If you're giving trouble to my village's ninja, then I'm afraid that I'll have to-"

"HE'S SO FLUFFY!" Sakaki exclaimed excitedly, cutting Kiba off; the Inuzuka jonin was surprised when Sakaki rushed up and started petting Akamaru. For his part, Akamaru didn't seem to mind the attention at all; in fact, he sat down and was wagging his tail back and forth as Sakaki continued to pet him.

"Ahh, miss Sakaki has a thing for animals," Mayamaru said to Kiba, "She may be a while, as seeing your dog has gotten her lost in her own little world."

"…How long is a 'while'?" Kiba asked in a mildly concerned tone.

* * *

Two street thugs had Sakaki's fellow handmaiden Chomi cornered. "Give us your money or else," the first thug threatened.

"I don't have any on hand!" Chomi said in a panicking tone, clearly looking scared.

"We ain't gonna ask you again, porky," the second thug remarked with an annoyed sneer, "Cough up some dough or else!"

Her face taking on a mildly annoyed look, Chomi said, "Well there's no need to point out my size like that."

"You're making us lose our patience here, blimp-o," the second thug said, "Give us your-"

The second thug was cut off when he was grabbed by his shirt by Choji, who had shown up on the scene. Bringing the second thug's face close to his, Choji said in a serious tone, "I don't like people making fun of my weight."

"I wasn't talking to you, lard-ass!" the second thug snapped. And that's when Choji threw the second thug back, getting a good dozen or so feet with the toss; the second thug would have gone farther if it hadn't been for the fact that some trashcans caught him.

Turning to face the first thug, Choji grabbed his by the front of his shirt, with just one hand, picked him up, and threw him towards his friend. After the two men got back up and ran away, Choji shouted, "Don't let me catch you harassing the townsfolk again! Also, don't insult my weight!"

After the thugs were gone, Choji turned to face Chomi. "Are you okay?" Choji asked, "I'm sorry about what those guys were do-" Choji didn't get to finish, as Chomi cut him off by locking lips with him. The Akimichi jonin was startled at first, but eventually relaxed and allowed Chomi to continue; Choji even put some effort in himself.

* * *

Shino was relaxing at the local library, as he actually enjoys reading as a hobby, unlike most of the guys he's friends with. (3) Having found something to check out, Shino took it and proceeded to walk over to the clerk in the library. Along the way, be bumped into Lady Koharu's third handmaiden. "Oh, sorry about that," Shino apologized, "Are you okay?"

"I'm just trying to find the fiction section here," replied the handmaiden, "I got scared after the procession I was in was attacked, so I ran away to hide somewhere. I found this place and decided to hide in here because I like reading."

"You were in the procession from earlier?" Shino asked, his interest piqued.

Nodding in the affirmative, the handmaiden said, "Yes. I am one of Lady Koharu's three handmaidens." After a brief beat, the handmaiden added, "I bet she's worried about me, as are Chomi and Sakaki."

"Well I can assure you that the threat from the attack on the procession is down," Shino remarked, "A good number of the attackers have been brought in for questioning, and the rest will eventually be found."

"Well that's a relief," said the handmaiden with a sigh.

Holding out a hand, Shino said, "I'm Shino Aburame. What's your name?"

"I…actually don't have a name," replied the handmaiden in an embarrassed tone.

"You…don't have a name," Shino repeated in a tone of mild surprise.

"It's true," the handmaiden said, "Lady Koharu just refers to me as Young Lady."

"How come you don't have a name?" Shino asked, "Not having a name will make things very difficult for you. You won't be able to check out books from here, as you need a library card and getting one requires that you have a name."

"Heh," the handmaiden laughed nervously, "Me not having a name is quite a long story to explain."

"We're in a library," Shino remarked, "What better place to hear a story?"

* * *

Naruto Uzumaki was leading a team composed of himself, Sasuke Uchiha, Neji Hyuga and Rock Lee to try and track down Koharu's three handmaidens. As they hopped from rooftop to rooftop, Rock Lee pointed out something as he exclaimed, "There! Down there! The handmaiden with the cat is with Kiba and Akamaru!"

Going in the direction Rock Lee pointed out, Naruto and company eventually landed next to Kiba, Sakaki and their respective ninja animals. Seeing his friends land nearby, Kiba looked to them. "Oh, 'sup guys?" Kiba greeted.

"Kiba, I see you found one of Lady Koharu's handmaidens," Neji remarked.

"Isn't Koharu the name of one of the elders that Sasuke killed?" Kiba asked.

"Lady Tsunade's friend from the Land of Soda is also named Koharu," Naruto clarified.

"Oh, well okay then," Kiba replied.

Looking to Sakaki, Sasuke said, "You are one of Lady Koharu's handmaidens, yes?"

"I am," Sakaki replied, "Are you friends of Kiba's?"

"Yes," Naruto replied, "My friends here and I are one of the teams of ninja who've been thrown together to find you and your fellow handmaidens so that you can be escorted over to the Hokage office building. Your employer is worried about you."

"I know where that is," Kiba said. Walking up to Sakaki, Kiba pecked her on the lips before saying, "You want me to take you over, babe?"

"Wait, what?!" Naruto and his team all exclaimed in unison.

"Oh, miss Sakaki and this Inuzuka fellow are dating now," Mayamaru explained, "Apparently, they bonded over their mutual love of animals." Shaking his head, Mayamaru said, "I do not envy the Inuzuka, given that he has to explain to his clan that he's dating miss Sakaki. The houses of Nekozuka and Inuzuka have a history of fighting each other like cats and dogs."

"…Did that cat just talk?" Rock Lee asked, pointing at Mayamaru.

"Akamaru and I can take Sakaki and her cat over to the Hokage office building," Kiba said to Naruto and company, "You guys go on and help find Sakaki's friends."

As Kiba and his group took off, Naruto faced his team. "…Well isn't that convenient," Naruto remarked before leading his team to continue their mission.

* * *

Sakura Haruno was leading Hinata Uzumaki, Tenten and Shikamaru Nara to help find Lady Koharu's handmaidens. "Are you serious?" Tenten said to Shikamaru as the group searched, "Is _that_ why Ino's too lazy to help us?!"

"Her boyfriend was killed, Tenten," Shikamaru remarked, "It's going to take Ino some time to get over it. Hell, I myself should still be in a state of mourning since Temari was killed, but work from the Hokage takes precedence over my own grief." Looking forward, Shikamaru continued, "In fact, Choji's probably still crying. He's a real big-hearted guy, Choji."

Right as Tenten was about to make a snarky remark about Choji's size, the team heard Choji call out, "Can I get another thing of ribs?"

"Me too!" a female voice accompanying Choji's voice said, "And don't skimp on the sauce!"

"That is so hot, Chomi," Choji's voice remarked.

Over to where Sakura and her team was at, Sakura said, "That's Choji. And from the sounds of it, he's found Lady Koharu's handmaiden Chomi!"

"Isn't she the one who's well-fed?" Hinata asked.

After Sakura nodded in the affirmative, Tenten remarked in a dry tone, "And they're both eating somewhere. What a surprise."

After a few seconds, Sakura and company ran into the closest restaurant, which was the barbecue grill. Going inside, they found Choji and Chomi, both of which were devouring dish after dish. Looking up, Choji saw Sakura's team, although he looked straight at Shikamaru. "Oh, hey man," Choji greeted casually. Pointing to Chomi, Choji said, "This here is my new girlfriend Chomi. Can you believe that she can eat as much as me?"

"Eat as much as you?" Chomi said, "Oh, so you want a challenge, do you?"

As the well-fed couple proceeded to have an impromptu eating contest with each other, Sakura had a group huddle with her team. "…Wow, Choji bounds back surprisingly quick," Shikamaru remarked, "Or is he really lucky to find a girl who's a lot like him?"

"…I hope I never get fat," Tenten remarked dryly.

* * *

Over at the local library, Naruto and his team walked in, having followed a lead on Lady Koharu's nameless handmaiden. As the group entered the library, Rock Lee looked around and said in a tone of amazement, "What sort of wondrous place is this? It's something that I have never seen before!"

"We're in a library, Rock Lee," Neji explained. Shaking his head, the Hyuga prodigy added, "Seriously. Why don't you, Shikamaru, Kiba, Choji, Tenten or Ino enjoy reading? Why does half our group insist on being illiterate?"

"…You think I can bench press all of the books in here?" Rock Lee asked his Hyuga friend, apparently oblivious to what Neji had just said.

"There's no point in trying to make him see reason, Neji," Shino's voice called out. When Naruto and company looked over, they saw Shino walk up with Lady Koharu's nameless handmaiden, who was reading a book that Shino checked out for her; the book Shino got for himself was a science fiction book with space travel and alien races at war with each other, while the handmaiden's book involved a fantasy world of magic, quests and dragons. A muscular humanoid in chains was on the cover of the book the handmaiden was reading.

"Did you come here looking for her?" Shino asked, pointing to the nameless handmaiden.

"We're one of the teams that's been thrown together to find all of Lady Koharu's handmaidens and bring them back safely to the Hokage office building," Sasuke explained, "We already ran into the girl with the ninja cat, but Kiba's taking her over for us."

"Also, Kiba's dating her now, apparently," Neji remarked, "I never would have pegged Kiba as someone who'd date a cat-owner."

"Wait, Sakaki has a boyfriend?" the handmaiden said in surprise, looking up from her book.

"Well, we should be getting you back to the Hokage office building," Neji said to the nameless handmaiden, "Lady Koharu is worried about you and the other handmaidens."

Putting in a bookmark to keep her spot in the book, the nameless handmaiden said, "Alright then." Turing to face Shino, the nameless handmaiden said as she affectionately hugged his right arm, "Can you come with us?"

"You guys are dating too?" Sasuke asked in a tone of disbelief.

"She's the only girl I've met who's not only single but interested in reading as a hobby," Shino replied, "Do you honestly expect me to pass up a golden opportunity like that?"

Chuckling in good humor, Naruto said, "Well at least you found someone, Shino. Well anywho, we have to get going."

As the six of them left the library, Rock Lee said, "I'm serious, Neji. Do you think I can bench press all of this library's books all at once?"

* * *

Over at the Hokage office building, Tsunade was seated at her desk, with Shizune standing nearby. The fifth Hokage was talking to Harold Fisher, Inoichi Yamanaka and Tsume Inuzuka, plus Tsume's ninja dog Kuromaru.

"As was reported by my niece's team, Choza's son found Lady Koharu's fat handmaiden," Harold said as he gave his team's report, "They would have been here already, but they both ate so much at the barbecue grill that they were both taken to the hospital for indigestion."

"Hey, that beats Choza's record!" Inoichi remarked.

Sighing, Tsunade said, "Well, at least she's safe." Looking to the jonin, Tsunade continued, "Do you have any info on Koharu's other two handmaidens?"

"I received a holler from my son that he and Akamaru found the Nekozuka twat and her hellcat," Tsume remarked, "A shame that Kiba didn't act in accordance with Inuzuka clan policy upon finding the girl." (4)

"Do you _want_ to start an international incident, Tsume?!" Kuromaru hissed.

"Your ninja dog has a point, Tsume," Tsunade remarked, "In fact, the Inuzuka and the Nekozuka are going to have to start getting along, since the Lands of Fire and Soda are about to become allies."

"Aww crap," Tsume muttered under her breath as she face-palmed.

As the adults were talking, Shino walked into Tsunade's office, leading the nameless handmaiden. "I've brought Lady Koharu's unnamed handmaiden," Shino said, "I was told that you guys were looking for her."

"And that makes three," Shizune remarked, "Should I go inform Lady Koharu that all three of her handmaidens have been found?"

"She should still be at Konoha General, visiting her one handmaiden that ate too much," Tsunade remarked. As Shizune took her leave, Tsunade regarded the nameless handmaiden. "Well then," Tsunade said, "About time we found you and your friends, miss Young Lady."

"Seriously? That's what the girl is being called?" Kuromaru remarked.

"Well since she doesn't have a proper name," Tsunade began, "Koharu has taken to referring to her unnamed handmaiden as Young Lady until a real name can be provided."

"I actually found one that I like," said the nameless handmaiden.

Everyone in the room turned to regard the nameless handmaiden. Holding up the book from the library that Shino checked out for her, the nameless handmaiden said, "One of the female characters in this book that I'm reading really appeals to me, so I'm thinking of naming myself after her."

Smirking in a mildly amused manner, Tsunade remarked, "Well, I bet that Lady Koharu will be happy to hear that you finally have a proper name. So then, what's your new name?"

Nodding slightly, the nameless handmaiden said, "Sylvan Ashveil."

The adults and Shino were all silent for a brief beat. The silence was eventually broken by Inoichi, who said, "Dude…that name sounds frigg'en AWESOME!"

"The girl's pretty damn lucky that she's had the opportunity to name herself," Harold remarked in a tone that clearly agreed with Inoichi, "If I was in such a position, I'd name myself Flash Gordon. No wait, Arthur Curry! No wait, Tyrion Lannister!"

Ignoring Harold's latest bout of idiocrasy, Tsunade said, "Well then Sylvan, if you want to find Lady Koharu, you should head over to Konoha General. She's over there right now."

"I can take her over," Shino remarked. Turning to face the self-named handmaiden, Shino said, "Shall we get going, Sylvan?"

Nodding, Sylvan replied, "Yes, I'd like to get going."

And so, Shino and Sylvan left the Hokage office building in order to go over to Konoha General.

* * *

The following day, there was a big ceremony to commemorate the signing of the alliance between the Land of Fire and the Land of Soda. Everyone who was able to get in was in attendance. Koharu's handmaidens were in the crowd, watching as their mistress signed her signature next to that of the Land of Fire's daimyo. "Wow," Sakaki remarked, "I never would have expected that the Land of Fire would actually want to be allies with so small a nation as the Land of Soda."

"But that very thing is happening right before our eyes, miss Sakaki," Mayamaru remarked, "Our home nation is now allies with one of the five great nations. Hopefully that will discourage larger nations from trying to attack the Land of Soda."

Turning to face Chomi, who had an expression of mild discomfort, Sylvan said, "Are you going to be okay, Chomi? You don't look so good."

"Choji and I ate too much last night," Chomi explained, "I seriously thought that my stomach was going to burst."

As the three handmaidens talked, Choji (who also looked uncomfortable), Shino, Kiba and Akamaru came walking up. "Hey girls, 'sup?" Kiba greeted the handmaidens while Akamaru trotted up to Mayamaru and licked him on the side of his face a few times.

"Lady Koharu said that we're going to be returning to the Land of Soda sometime this evening," Sakaki replied. Looking mildly concerned, Sakaki added, "You'll write, won't you?"

"I never actively wrote before, so my first few letters may look a little sloppy," Kiba explained, "But I'll give it a shot. Hell, since our respective lands are allies now, Konoha ninja will occasionally come by the Land of Soda to do missions. If any such missions pop up, I'll try grabbing one or two so I can swing by if possible."

Smiling, Sakaki said, "I'd like that."

"Hey Choji, are you feeling okay after yesterday?" Chomi asked.

"Heh," Choji grunted through a mild amount of discomfort, "I told you I could out-eat you."

Smiling, Chomi replied, "I just have to *uhn* try harder next time then, won't I?"

"You two really must refrain from such reckless behavior," Mayamaru remarked.

END, GUESS WHO'S BACK CHATER FOURTEEN

Author's Notes:

(1) A smaller nation that I made up; I was originally going to go for Land of Tea, but that's already a name of a land in the series proper.

(2) In this story, the respective economies of Iwa and Kiri are both really weak.

(3) Ino also doesn't like reading as a hobby.

(4) Inuzuka clan policy regarding encountering Nekozuka clan members can be summed up in three words; attack on sight.

And this is the tale of how Kiba, Shino and Choji met their respective wives in the adventures of Harold and his friends. In regards to Shino's wife, I've been toying with the idea of her not having a name to begin with, that she'd eventually find a name she liked and take it up as her own. So anywho, there's chapter fourteen. What I have in mind for chapter fifteen will be something of a double-feature.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.

Guess who's back?

Chapter fifteen: Hearts healed under new management

Ino Yamanaka laid on her bed in her bedroom, the lights turned off. It was close to evening, so twilight shown through the curtains. Laying on her side, Ino's face was half-buried in the top pillow on the pillow stack. Tears streamed down her face, leaving a trail of dried tears on the right side of her face and stains of tears and mucus on her pillow. Ino knew, even without looking in a mirror, that she had never looked so horrible in her entire life. And yet she didn't even care.

A gentle knocking at her bedroom door brought her out of her troubled thoughts, if only for a minute. "Ino, dear?" a woman's voice called out from the other side of the door, "Are you going to be okay? You've been in your room all day."

"…I'm fine, mom," Ino called back weakly in a depressed tone.

"Your father wants to come in to talk to you," Ino's mother announced, "He also brought an acoustic guitar with him, for some reason."

"…You can come in, dad," Ino called out, slowly getting up and sitting on the side of her bed as her father Inoichi slowly opened the door to enter Ino's room; Inoichi was carrying an acoustic guitar by its neck.

"Hey sweetie," Inoichi greeted with mild trepidation, "How have you been?"

"My boyfriend is dead," Ino said sadly as she hugged the same pillow she was crying into. Looking at her dad with some bitterness in her red and puffy eyes, Ino added, "I believe you know why."

Sighing, Inoichi replied, "Look, Ino. I know I was never fully on board with the idea of you dating that artsy boy. Hell, if I'm to be completely honest, if he were still alive today, I'd still be against the idea. But rest assured that I couldn't have helped what I did. The brakes on my car malfunctioned, so I couldn't have stopped my car even if I had wanted, which I did want." (1)

As Ino sobbed some more, Inoichi walked up to Ino and asked if he could sit next to her on the edge of her bed. After Ino scooted to the head end of her bead to give her father some room, Inoichi lifted his guitar up to play it.

"This is a song that helped me get through some rather hard spots in my own life," Inoichi said, "Like when Harold and I thought that Tsume was dead that one time, or when I had to do three back-to-back missions to get the money needed to keep our home, or when you were rushed to the hospital when you were three because you suffered an asthma attack. I'm going to play it for you, in the hopes that it will help you get over this bump in your own life."

"I was rushed to the hospital back then because I fractured my left shin, dad," Ino pointed out, "I don't even have asthma."

"Hush now, child," Inoichi interrupted, "And let the power of music sooth your sorrowed soul." Strumming his guitar strings, Inoichi played a few notes before he began to sing his song. It was a very beautiful song, to be sure, but the song's tone wasn't _exactly_ what was needed to lift Ino's spirits. (2)

Inoichi didn't even get to continue playing his song, as Ino's crying resumed in full. "Uh oh, I got to work on my act," Inoichi remarked.

* * *

The following day, Shikamaru Nara and Choji Akimichi, the two of them being Ino's teammates, met up with each other over at the local dango shop. They both ordered some tea and a few dango sticks (Choji ordering at least twice as many as Shikamaru) before the both got down to business. "How long has it been since Ino found out that Sai was killed in the Konoha Car Crisis?" Choji asked his best friend.

"It's been at least two weeks, man," Shikamaru replied. Sighing in a resigned tone, Shikamaru continued, "I know that losing someone that you've invested a lot of romantic feelings in so suddenly is pretty harsh. Hell, the both of us can speak from personal experience in that regard. But we cannot let this go on forever. As harsh as it may sound, the two of us have to make Ino get over this."

Choji nodded in agreement right as the waitress came over with the tea and dango sticks that Shikamaru and Choji ordered. As Choji grabbed his first dango stick, Shikamaru said, "The two of us are going to have to come up with a plan to help Ino get over Sai's death. Do you have any ideas, my man?"

"I say that the two of us should take Ino out on the town," Choji suggested, "Not in a romantic sense, mind you, but as teammates and friends. We can all go grab a bite to eat, or check out a new movie, or go to the mall, or grab a bite to eat."

"You said 'grab a bite to eat' twice," Shikamaru pointed out.

"I like grabbing a bite to eat," Choji replied. Seeing as how this was Choji and Shikamaru talking to each other, Shikamaru couldn't help but laugh; this was his best friend being himself, something that he greatly liked about the well-fed guy. Even with Choji thinking with his stomach, Shikamaru had to admit that Choji had a good idea when it came to cheering Ino up.

"Hey Choji," Shikamaru began, "Your idea for cheering Ino up sounds pretty good. Why don't we give it a go?"

* * *

Later that day, Shikamaru and Choji brought Ino (who had cleaned herself up enough to look acceptable in her opinion) with them to head over to the mall. "So, what do you say, Ino?" Choji asked, "The three of us are having a lot of fun here at the mall, ehh?"

"The last time I was here at the mall, I was with Sai and Sakura," Ino remarked sadly, "That was back when I bought that weird necklace." (3)

"Well now you're with your best buds Choji and me," Shikamaru said in a tone that very clearly suggested that he was trying to make Ino feel better, "Why don't we head over to the clothes store, and maybe find you a new necklace to replace the one that Lady Tsunade had destroyed?"

"And this time, we'll make sure that the necklace or whatever other accessory you get isn't a cursed artifact that will turn you into a giant fat slug monster," Choji added.

Not being able to help herself, Ino burst out laughing. "Heh, yeah," Ino remarked as she wiped a tear from her right eye, "That would be the smart thing to do, given past events."

"Well then Ino, lead the way," Shikamaru replied, "Because Choji and I have _no_ idea whatsoever on how to navigate the mall. It's like we're stuck in a foreign land or something." Smiling, Ino gestured for the boys to follow her as she led them to the clothes store.

* * *

Over at the Hokage office building, Lady Tsunade, the fifth (and current) Hokage, was organizing some boxes in a storage closet. Assisting Tsunade with the task was her assistant Shizune, and assistant/apprentice Sakura Haruno. "I'm telling you," Tsunade said to her assistants, "That council that's currently ruling Kumogakure is really misbehaving. I wouldn't be surprised if those bastards ended up star-AAAAAHHHHH!"

Tsunade stopped midsentence and dropped the box she was carrying as she quickly put her hand over her lower back. "Holy crap, that smarts!" Tsunade screamed, more out of anger than out of pain (but she still felt plenty of pain).

"Lady Tsunade! Are you okay?!" Shizune exclaimed out of worry, with Sakura setting the box she was holding down to assist Shizune with tending to the lady fifth.

"Get me some sake, Shizune!" Tsunade hissed through clenched teeth.

"Are you planning to soak a rag in sake and apply it to your lower back to dull the pain?" Shizune asked.

"No, Shizune!" Tsunade snapped angrily and out of pain, "I'm going to chug it down like there's no tomorrow! Now hurry!"

As Shizune dashed out of the storage room to get Tsunade the sake, the Hokage turned to face Sakura and said, "Sakura, I need you to go and get a medical team to transport me to Konoha General!"

"But Lady Tsunade," Sakura began in a worried tone, "Surely you're capable of healing your back problem yourself."

"Not *UHNN* this kind of back problem, Sakura!" Tsunade replied as she grunted in pain, "This is going to require treatment at the hospital! Now go get that medical team!"

"I wouldn't feel right about leaving you here alone while you're having severe back problems," Sakura remarked.

"The crippling pain I'm feeling, although a severe *UHNN* pain in the ass, is not going to kill me," Tsunade remarked as she grunted in pain again, "Now go!"

After Sakura ran off to get the medical team, Tsunade bitterly thought, " _Damn it_ , _Kakashi_. _You just HAD to decide to go on leave right as I wanted to step down as Hokage_ , _didn_ ' _t you_?"

* * *

Back at the local mall, Shikamaru and Choji were with Ino at the mall's food court having lunch; Ino got some sort of salad and a tea, Shikamaru got two soft tacos and a soda, and Choji got _four_ soft tacos, a burrito, and a _large_ soda. "…And that's the story my dad told me about how he fell in love with my mom," Choji said as he finished up a story he was telling his friends.

"Your mom seriously out-ate your dad in an eating contest?" Shikamaru remarked, regarding his best friend with a mildly surprised look.

As Choji nodded in the affirmative, Shikamaru turned to face Ino. "Well now, that was quite the story, ehh Ino?" Shikamaru asked rhetorically.

"I fell in love with Sai due to a mix of him being incredibly artistic and the fact that my dad did not approve of him," Ino remarked sadly as she looked down at her salad.

"I think telling stories having anything to do with romance while we're trying to cheer Ino up is kind of a bad idea at the moment, dude," Choji whispered to Shikamaru as he leaned forward.

"Hey, I was going to tell Ino about how Sasuke, Neji, Rock Lee and Tenten stopped the killings of my clan's deer," Shikamaru whispered back, "You're the one who thought it was a good idea to tell the story of how your folks fell in love."

"Well I didn't want to tell the story of how you, Sasuke, Neji and Rock Lee saved my clan's special cookbook," Choji whispered back in response, "Karui was involved, and I'd rather not reopen _that_ wound." (4)

"Just think carefully about the next story you tell," Shikamaru whispered, "You know, to make sure that it won't be upsetting to Ino."

Choji nodded in agreement, then proceeded to give the notion some thought. "Oh!" Choji remarked, "Ino, do you remember the time where Lady Tsunade had some sort of mid-life crisis, and rearranged our teams back when we were genin?"

"I think I know what you're talking about, Choji," Shikamaru said, "It was sometime before Sasuke left Konoha, right?"

"That's right, Shikamaru," Choji replied, nodding in the affirmative. Turning to Ino, Choji said, "So Ino, do you remember that?"

"Yeah, I remember that," Ino replied. Her voice taking on a mildly confused tone, Ino added, "I still can't believe that someone thought putting me on the same team and Sakura and Kiba was a good idea."

"Well your dad, Sakura's uncle and Kiba's mom do have something of a reputation for getting results, despite all logic," Shikamaru pointed out, "I guess whoever thought of putting you together with Sakura and Kiba was just trying to recreate that."

"I think that one stunt my dad pulled during that time had something to do with Sasuke leaving Konoha," Ino said in a regretful tone.

"No, I'm pretty sure that it was Orochimaru's goons convincing Sasuke to leave Konoha that did the trick," Choji pointed out, "I don't think that your dad chasing Sasuke with a baseball bat and a pillow case full of cans of jellied cranberry sauce had anything to do with the matter, Ino."

"Well anywho, we had quite a blast as kids, didn't we?" Shikamaru said as he changed subjects, "And now that we're adults, we've got the rest of our lives ahead of us."

"Speaking of the rest of our lives," Choji began, "Upon meeting Chomi, my ma asked me when Chomi and I were getting married and starting a family. Ma is rather insistent on Chomi and me providing her with grandchildren."

"Heh, I know that feel, dude," Shikamaru remarked with a laugh, "Possible grandchildren were pretty much the only thing on my mom's mind when Temari and I were dating."

"My dad said that if Sai had fathered any grandchildren for him, that they'd be the only good thing that Sai ever made," Ino remarked sadly, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.

Shikamaru and Choji exchanged worried looks, having realized too late that they had reopened the wound Ino had that they were trying to close.

* * *

Over at Konoha General, Tsunade was lying on her stomach on a table as medic shinobi were tending to her; Shizune and Sakura were in the room as well, but they were standing off to the side, worried looks on both of their faces. "Is…is Lady Tsunade going to be okay, Shizune?" Sakura whispered to Shizune in a worried tone.

"You don't give her enough credit, Sakura," Shizune whispered back, "Tsunade is one of the strongest, if not _the_ strongest, women alive. How else do you think she was made Hokage?"

"I still can't help but worry for her, you know?" Sakura whispered, "I mean, her back just randomly gave out like that. How could it happen? Lady Tsunade is a medical expert, so surely she'd know how to keep that from happening."

"Sakura, keep in mind that Lady Tsunade is close to being sixty years old," Shizune pointed out in a whisper, "Things like this are bound to happen when one reaches a significant age, no matter how good they were at keeping their bodies healthy. Even Lady Tsunade, the world-renowned expert in the field of medics that she is, was bound to have some issue that landed her here in the hospital at some point down the line."

Shaking her head, Sakura whispered back in a worried tone, "I still can't believe that this could happen to her."

Sighing, Shizune replied quietly, "No one is ever truly ready for events like this. Even I am at something of a loss.

Back over to where the medic shinobi were tending to her, Tsunade yelled, "Oh holy crap, that smarts! Someone bring me some sake to dull the pain!"

"You mean to soak some rags in the sake so as to apply them to your sore area?" one of the medic shinobi asked the lady fifth.

"No, you moron!" Tsunade snapped angrily through the pain she was feeling, "I need a frigg'en drink, damn it!" (5)

* * *

Later at the mall, Shikamaru and Choji took Ino to see a movie. The boys let Ino pick the movie that they would see, even though they knew full well that they would regret it. …Or so they had assumed, as Ino surprised the boys by picking a relatively decent movie that was not specifically geared towards the female gender.

As they stood in line to buy their tickets, Shikamaru said, "You know what the first movie I ever saw was? This childish animated movie about talking deer living in a forest. It's usually the first movie that's shown to Nara clan children."

"The first movie that I ever recall seeing was about a talking rat who hid under the hat of an inept chef and slowly helped said chef become great," Choji remarked.

"The first movie I ever remember seeing was some raunchy R-rated comedy back when I was four," Ino remarked, "My dad, Mr. Fisher and Mrs. Inuzuka all wanted to see it in theaters. My dad brought me along, as he couldn't find someone to babysit me."

"…Your dad got away with bringing a four-year-old to see an R-rated movie?" Shikamaru asked, looking three parts appalled, seven parts confused.

"As did Mr. Fisher and Mrs. Inuzuka, the latter also getting away with bringing a dog into the theater, but that's beside the point," Ino replied with a shake of her head.

After getting to the front of the line, Shikamaru and Choji paid for the tickets to see the movie; when Ino said that she could pay for her own ticket, Shikamaru quickly came up with the excuse that the two of them and Choji were just starting up a new team tradition where they would go see a movie at the theater every so often, and that every time they did see a movie, a different member of the team would front the money for all the tickets. When Ino then questioned why both he and Choji were fronting the money, Shikamaru quickly said that even though it's Choji's turn this time ("Hey!" Choji exclaimed), he's a tad short due to buying so much dango earlier, so he (Shikamaru) was helping Choji front the bill.

After getting their tickets, they went to the concession area to buy snacks and drinks. As Choji browsed the selection of movie theater candy as if they were fine cigars, Shikamaru and Ino were surprised to bump into their and Choji's friend Naruto Uzumaki. When they questioned him about why he was here, Naruto explained that his wife Hinata (who is also a friend of theirs) wanted to see a new movie at the theater that was based off of a tabletop RPG game.

"Wow, I never knew that Hinata was into that kind of nerdy stuff," Ino remarked in a tone of quiet amazement and honest surprise.

"And for some reason Hinata being like that makes me find her cuter," Naruto said as he put a straw into his soda. After taking a sip, Naruto added, "I'm not sure why, though." Looking at Shikamaru and Ino, Naruto asked, "So what, are the two of you, like, on a date or something?"

"No frigg'en way, man!" Shikamaru exclaimed, "The hell made you think that?!"

"The two of you are here alone as far as I can tell," Naruto explained, "And from what I've come to understand, a guy and a girl usually don't go see a movie in theaters together unless they're an item." Rubbing the back of his head in an embarrassed manner, Naruto asked, "I jumped to the wrong conclusion again on that matter, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did, although I have to admit that your logic for thinking what you did is pretty damn sound," Shikamaru replied.

"Shikamaru, Choji and I started a new team tradition where we'd go see a movie every so often and a different member of the team would front the funds every time," Ino explained in a matter-of-factly tone.

"…What movie are you going to see?" Naruto asked.

"That new action flick with the muscular shirtless guy and all of the exploding buildings," Shikamaru explained, "Ino picked it, surprisingly enough."

"What, did you think that I was going to pick the first romance movie I saw?" Ino asked in a suspicious tone.

"Well if you didn't go on and on all the time about romance and love and all of that stuff, I wouldn't have to make such logical guesses about your intentions," Shikamaru retorted.

"Oh, well excuse me for being a girl, Shikamaru," Ino shot back in a sarcastic tone that was starting to show some hint of anger, "It must be _way_ better to be a guy!"

"Well at least I don't nag everyone about how they should change their appearance," Shikamaru retorted in an accusing tone. Taking on a mock-female voice, Shikamaru said, "Choji, you should lose some weight because girls would be into you if you were thin. Kiba, you shouldn't dress like you're trailer trash because girls are into sharp-dressed men. Rock Lee, you should change your hairstyle because girls aren't into guys with bowl-cuts." Going back to using his regular voice, Shikamaru said, "Seriously, woman. It's like nothing is ever perfect to you!"

"Well I'm sorry for trying to make all of our friends more conscious about their appearances," Ino replied sarcastically, "I guess it's my fault that I want all of our friends to find someone special in their lives!"

"Can I say something?" Naruto asked.

"No," Shikamaru and Ino said to Naruto in unison before going back to their argument. As Naruto watched the two of them argue, Choji came walking up to him, a small selection of theater-sized boxes of candy in his right arm and a large soda in his left hand.

Choji turned to face Naruto, gestured with his head to the arguing Shikamaru and Ino and said, "Hey Naruto, what the hell did I miss?"

"I sincerely wish that I could tell you," Naruto replied with a shake of his head.

As Naruto and Choji watched Shikamaru and Ino go back and forth, Hinata came walking onto the scene carrying a tub of hot, freshly popped popcorn and a large soda; she was also wearing a pale light blue-grayish wizard's hat for some reason. (6) "…I didn't do anything wrong, did I?" Hinata asked as her eyes fell on the argument that was going on.

* * *

Back at Konoha General, Shizune and Sakura were waiting outside of an operating room; as it turned out, Tsunade's back problem was worse than what anyone had first thought, so they were resorting to going under the knife to see if anything could be done. As Sakura leaned with her back against a wall, Shizune was pacing back and forth.

"…I can't believe that this is happening," Sakura said in a worried tone, "This…this just cannot be happening. This is Lady Tsunade we're talking about here; she's far too strong to have to go through something like this."

"Sakura, what did I say earlier about Lady Tsunade having reached a notable age and thus is experiencing the problems that comes with it?" Shizune asked in a scolding tone.

"Come on, Shizune, are you _really_ going to be like that now?!" Sakura retorted in an annoyed tone, "I _know_ that Lady Tsunade is close to being sixty. I _know_ that she's bound to experience problems with her body and overall health due to that age. That still doesn't mean I can't be worried out of my mind about her! She's like a second mother to me, for crying out loud!" Seeing that tears were starting to well up in the corners of the eyes of the pink-haired chunnin, Shizune sighed in a resigned tone.

"…Sorry for being so scolding," Shizune apologized in a defeated tone, "I'm just as worried about Lady Tsunade as you are. I guess we all have our unique ways of dealing with worry."

Going over to Sakura, Shizune wrapped her arms around Sakura's shoulders as she drew the pink-haired chunnin into a hug. As Sakura sobbed softly, Shizune patted her on the back. "…Huh, well I guess it's a good thing that I picked up a box of tissue paper when Sakura called me and said that Lady Tsunade was taken to the hospital due to suffering severe back pains," a familiar voice called out, getting Shizune and Sakura to look up and over at who had just spoken.

Standing just a few feet away was Sasuke Uchiha, holding an unopened box of tissue paper. It was one of those boxes that was mostly cube-shaped, not one of those boxes that closely resembled a brick. "Is there any word on Lady Tsunade's progress?" asked the last Uchiha as he walked over to the women while opening the box of tissue paper and offering it to Sakura.

"None yet," Sakura replied, tears streaming down her face, as she took a tissue from the offered box. After blowing her nose, Sakura said as she tossed the used tissue in a near-by waste bin, "She was just taken in for a quick emergency procedure. We have no idea on how long she's going to be."

"If it helps, I can stay here and provide moral support," Sasuke replied. Looking to the double-doors leading into the operating room, Sasuke said, "From what I heard, my boss who's been giving me all of my assignments as of late had just been taken to the hospital due to suffering some rather bad back problems. So, I can understand how you feel."

Smiling as tears continued to stream down her face, Sakura couldn't help but let out a slight chuckle at what her boyfriend had just said. "So, Sakura, miss Shizune…" Sasuke began in a mildly unsure tone, "I don't suppose that either of you two had gotten anything to eat since coming here? If not, I recall seeing a few vending machines on my way up to here. You want I should go grabs some snacks and drinks for us? My treat."

* * *

Over at the movie theater at the local mall, Choji, Shikamaru and Ino ended up missing the pre-movie commercials for the film they were going to see. However, there was a very good reason for that.

Shikamaru and Ino were making out with each other. A lot. They were over each other as much as possible without it being inappropriate in public, although that didn't stop one of them from sticking their tongue down the throat of the other. Choji, who was watching the 'show' along with a few other random onlookers that stopped to look, couldn't tell who was doing it. " _Wow_ ," Choji thought as he just finished off one of the boxes of movie theater candy that he bought, " _I think that we might end up missing our movie_."

* * *

Over at the hospital, one of the medic shinobi who was operating on Tsunade was talking to Sakura, Shizune and Sasuke outside of the room that Tsunade was recovering in. "Doctor, how is Lady Tsunade?" Shizune asked.

"She only just got out of surgery," the medic shinobi explained, "And we had to put her under heavy anesthesia, so it will be at least a few hours before she-"

"Where's a damn bottle of sake when you need one?!" Tsunade could be heard shouting from within her recovery room.

"We…we had to use twice the amount of anesthesia on Lady Tsunade that's needed to subdue Tsume Inuzuka," the doctor said in an alarmed tone, his eyes wide with shock, "And Tsume already requires twice as much as what's needed to subdue any given grown Akimichi clan man! How is Lady Tsunade already awake?!"

"Isn't it dangerous to use that much anesthesia on one person?" Sasuke asked rhetorically, "I mean, I'm no medical expert, put I'm pretty sure that such an amount would be a fatal amount, regardless of who it's given to." (7)

Ignoring Sasuke, the doctor ran into Tsunade's recovery room, with Sakura, Sasuke and Shizune following in close behind him. When they got in, they saw Tsunade laying on her stomach, her hand glowing with healing chakra and placed against her lower back (which just had surgery done on it). "Lady Tsunade, I really must insist that you let us here at the hospital handle your recovery," the medic shinobi said.

"Relax, I'm just doing this to sooth the pain," Tsunade replied to the worry wart of a doctor, "Now seriously. Where is that damn sake?"

"You really shouldn't drink alcohol after recovering from surgery," the medic shinobi said, "And how are you already awake? Do you know how much anesthesia we had to use to put you under for the surgery?"

"Meh, must have been at least a double-Tsume dose," (8) Tsunade remarked casually, "But seriously, back to my previous request. Sake. Now."

As the medic shinobi once again argued against Tsunade drinking sake, two older ninja, both men dressed in traditional men's robes, came walking into the recovery room. "We were told that Lady Tsunade was recovering in this room," said the first older ninja, who had white hair that was balding at the top; this man also had a mild but noticeable paunch.

"Now is really not the best time for Lady Tsunade to be receiving visitors," said the medic shinobi, "She had just gotten out of surgery and is recovering. Hell, I'm surprised that she's already awake, given how much anesthesia we had to use to put her under for the procedure."

"Hmm, knowing Lady Tsunade, she probably requires at least a double-Tsume dose," said the second older ninja in a casual tone, "But seeing as how Lady Tsunade is awake now, she'll be able to speak for herself sooner."

"Well now," Tsunade said to the two older ninja, both of which were older than her, "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit from my advisors?"

"These guys are your new advisors you were telling me about?" Shizune asked as she pointed to the two older ninja.

"I needed new advisors after my old advisors were killed for the stunt that they pulled," Tsunade remarked. Looking to her two advisors, Tsunade asked, "So like I said, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

"We heard about what happened to you," said the first older ninja, "Since you're awake after having just gone through a medical procedure, can we assume that to mean that you're okay?"

"I'm already demanding sake, aren't I?" replied the lady fifth.

"I'm afraid that the surgery we just did was just a quick emergency corrective procedure," the medic shinobi explained to the two older ninja. Handing the second older ninja a clipboard, the medic shinobi said, "Lady Tsunade will have to go in for the main procedure once she recovers well enough."

"Holy geez…" the first older ninja muttered in a tone of quiet shock as he looked over to see what was on the clipboard, "That's the same problem that ended my career as a shinobi, forcing me to retire. I still feel some back pain this day."

"Lady Tsunade, I'm afraid that your advisor has a point," the medic shinobi said to Tsunade in a concerned tone, "Problems like this are career-enders. I think that it'd be in your best interest that you step down from being the active Hokage."

Sakura, after hearing what the medic shinobi had just said, turned around to bury her face in Sasuke's chest and cry. "He didn't say that I was dying, Sakura," Tsunade remarked with an arched eyebrow, "He just said that I'm going to be forced to retire."

"Well you cannot quite blame her for getting upset," Shizune replied, "I mean, you _are_ the Hokage. The village is going to be lost without a leader."

With an amused smile, Tsunade said, "Well Shizune, that's why I already have a successor lined up to pick up where I leave off."

* * *

Over at the movie theater at the mall, Choji and the other onlookers were still watching Ino and Shikamaru furiously make out with each other. At this point, the students of the late Asuma had missed most of the movie that they were going to see, although that was probably the last thing on their mind. As Choji came back to watch after having gotten another soda, Neji Hyuga, Rock Lee and Tenten came walking onto the scene.

"Hey Choji," Neji began, "I don't suppose you've seen WOHAHOHO!" Neji stopped midsentence and exclaimed when his eyes fell on the sight before them. "What the hell are they doing in public?!" Neji exclaimed as he turned to face the Akimichi jonin.

"Shikamaru and Ino started arguing with each other like they were an old married couple," Choji explained, "After they went back and forth a few times, Shikamaru and Ino both looked at each other before throwing their arms around each other and turning into the sight that you see before you." Looking at a clock on the nearby wall, Choji said, "Huh. I think we missed the movie that the three of us were planning on seeing."

"Well alright, Ino!" Tenten cheered as she pumped a fist into the air, "Go for the gold, girl! Go for the gold!"

"Do they even care that others are watching them?" Rock Lee asked rhetorically.

"I don't think so," Choji replied. Turning to face Neji, Choji asked, "So anywho, back to what you were saying. What where you asking about now?"

"Oh yes," Neji replied, "I was wondering if you've seen Lord Naruto anywhere."

"Wait a minute," Choji interrupted, "Did you just say _Lord_ Naruto?"

"Lady Tsunade suffered a back injury that's forcing her to step down as Hokage," Tenten explained, "Since she's selected Naruto as her successor, we've been tasked with finding him so that he can get ready for being sworn in as the sixth lord Hokage. That's why we were asking if you've seen the guy."

At that moment, Naruto and Hinata came walking out of one of the halls of the movie theater, with Hinata still wearing her wizard's hat. "Wow," Naruto remarked to Hinata, "Who knew that dark elf fellow with the twin enchanted scimitars would have had such a role in helping to set up the treaty between the dwarves and the orcs? What was that dark elf's name again?"

"Hey Naruto!" Choji called out, getting Naruto's attention, "Come over here! You won't believe what Neji and his teammates are trying to find you for!"

At that moment, Ino and Shikamaru finally broke lip contact, shocked looks on their faces. "Holy crap!" Shikamaru exclaimed. Looking Ino in the eyes, Shikamaru continued, "…Did you just hear that about Naruto?!"

* * *

A few days later, folks from all over Konoha, citizens and shinobi alike, had gathered at a large event over at the Hokage office building. Although the main even was already over, people were still hanging around for the afterparty. Over at the base of a stage that was set up outside, Naruto, with Hinata at his side, was talking to Sasuke and Sakura.

"…Neji found Ino and Shikamaru doing _what_ when he, Tenten and Rock Lee were sent to find you at the movie theater?!" Sakura remarked to Naruto, her face a mask of shock.

Shrugging, Naruto said, "Apparently, they were making out with each other when Neji and his team found them," Naruto explained. With another shrug, Naruto added, "I guess I ended up being right about their reason for being at the movie theater. I was just a little premature in the matter was all."

As Naruto and the others talked, they were approached by Harold Fisher and Inoichi Yamanaka. "Ah, there you are, Lord Sixth," Inoichi greeted, "Congratulations on being sworn in as Hokage. I bet that you can't wait to get to work!"

"I've always wanted to be Hokage for as long as I can remember, actually," Naruto remarked as he blushed mildly with embarrassment due to all of the congratulations that he had been receiving, "Now that I've actually achieved that dream…I'm not quite sure what to do now."

"Hey, uhh, Lord Sixth," Harold began, "This may not be the best time, seeing as how you were just sworn in. But I got this niece, you see. She's a rather talented individual, but seeing as how she isn't from any notable ninja clan, she doesn't have much of a name. That's why I was wondering if you could use your new-found power and influence to…help my niece, as it were. You know, introduce her to the right folks, set her up with a sweet new gig on your staff, and so-on." As Harold explained himself, Sakura could not help but face-palm.

"…Sure thing, Mr. Fisher," Naruto deadpanned, a monotone look on his face.

"Sweet!" Harold said, "Wait until my little sister hears that I just got little Cherry Bug an in with Lord Sixth!" Looking to Naruto, Harold asked in an unsure tone, "Do I…umm…kiss your ring now, or something?"

"That…won't be necessary, thank you," Naruto said as politely as possible in a deadpan tone.

After Harold and Inoichi took their leave, Shikamaru and Ino came up. "Congratulations on becoming the Hokage, dude," Shikamaru said to Naruto, "You think that you're ready for the job?"

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be," Naruto replied with a shrug, "At least I already have my three advisors picked out."

"Ooh, let me guess," Ino said, "One of them is Shikamaru."

Nodding in the affirmative, Naruto replied, "He's the first one I picked, actually. The other two are Sasuke and Shino."

"Shino? Really?" Sakura said in a mildly surprised tone, "I mean I know he's a sharp-minded guy, but I'd never expect you to pick him."

"Hey, the more sharp-minded guys I have backing me, the better," Naruto replied, "Besides which, Shino tried to apply for a teaching position at the Leaf Village Ninja Academy, but his beetles came out randomly during some sort of training exercise, and Shino's worried that it might have made a bad impression with the people interviewing him. I just wanted to make sure that Shino has a safety net of sorts to fall back on." (9)

"Well Naruto," Shikamaru said with a smile, "I'm ready to report for duty the instant you give the cue."

Holding out a fist for a fist-bump, Naruto returned the smile and said, "Glad to have you aboard, Shikamaru."

"Hey Naruto," Sasuke began, "Seeing as how I am now on your staff, I don't have to do any random jobs that have been labeled 'community service' anymore, do I?"

"Well you can't advise me if you're running about the village doing whatever," Naruto replied with a smile.

"Well thank goodness for that," Sasuke remarked with a sigh of relief, "Now I can look into finding a more solid place to live. My employment's already secure, so now I'd like some place better to live at than a government-provided apartment."

And so, with the sun setting over a Konoha under new management, the future of the village, and that of the Land of Fire as a whole, seemed that much brighter.

Then…Kumogakure.

END, GUESS WHO'S BACK CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Author's Notes:

(1) Given how that whole day originally started, this assertion is…somewhat correct.

(2) In fact, it had the _opposite_ result.

(3) Correction; that was Sai's only line in the entire story.

(4) Just because Choji moved on and found a new love does not mean that the past is no longer a touchy subject for him.

(5) Alcohol _is_ known to dull pain, you know.

(6) Think Gandalf's hat from LOTR.

(7) I had to look this up, and even then, I couldn't find a clear answer, but I'm pretty sure that this would be right to believe.

(8) That's right, the medical community in the Land of Fire uses Tsume as a measurement to determine the amount of anesthesia to give to someone.

(9) Shino did end up becoming an instructor at the Leaf Village Ninja Academy in the series proper.

Well, there's chapter fifteen done and over with. Without giving away too much, the next chapter, which will be the final chapter of this story, is the one where everything goes to hell.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any properties in this work that I did not make myself.

Guess who's back?

Chapter sixteen: the war begins

It was late afternoon over in the village of Sunagakure. The local bar was abuzz with activity, as citizens who had just gotten off of work stopped in for a drink that they desperately needed, or a shinobi who just got back from a mission and could really use a cold one. There was good cheer and good drink all around.

In the center of it all was Kankuro, the older brother of Gaara, the current Kazekage. Kankuro had come to this bar mostly to lose himself so that he didn't have to reflect on what he and his brother had lost, or rather _who_ they had lost. After drinking himself into a good buzz, Kankuro looked over from the counter where he sat nursing a mug of beer and saw the pool table located in the exact center of the bar.

Getting an idea that was influenced by the alcohol he had just consumed, Kankuro walked over to the pool table, putting all of the pool balls in the pockets so that the surface was entirely clear. After the surface of the pool table was cleared, Kankuro got up onto the top of the pool table and began to dance and sing.

* * *

Gaara was in his office over at the Kazekage office building. He was alone, the door was closed, and the light was off; only the twilight seeping in through the blinds over the office window illuminated the room any. Gaara sat in his chair at his desk, looking at a small picture frame that he held in his hands. In the picture frame was a picture of Gaara's older sister Temari; she sat there smiling, as she was having this picture taken at the time.

Tears fell from the Kazekage's eyes and fell onto the picture frame; Gaara had a hard time trying to keep from crying. In recent events, there was a horrific incident called the Konoha Car Crisis, which involved the first privately owned automobiles hitting the streets of Konoha, Suna's main ally, going out of control due to malfunctioning brake systems. Due to this incident, close to one-hundred people were killed; Temari, who was in Konoha at the time, was unfortunately among those who were killed.

And the timing could not have been worse; Gaara was in his office with Kankuro and three Suna shinobi who was with Kankuro at the time. Gaara was chewing out the Kankuro and the others for some incredibly stupid thing that had gotten them (Kankuro and the three Suna shinobi) into trouble when a mousey Suna kunoichi who worked as a secretary at the Kazekage office building came into the office.

The kunoichi was roughly three inches shorter than Gaara and roughly a year younger than him; she had very fair skin, straight and long sand-colored hair in a hime cut-style, and gentle green eyes hidden behind large circular glasses. She wore a light beige, long-sleeved blouse and a skirt that was the same shade of red as Gaara's hair; this skirt was just an inch shy of reaching the kunoichi's ankles. The kunoichi also wore a pair of shinobi sandals, and around the kunoichi's neck she wore her Suna ninja headband.

Breathing in a way that not only indicated nervousness but possible breathing problems as well, the mousey Suna kunoichi handed Gaara a note, telling him that he had a phone call waiting for him on the ground floor of the Kazekage office building.

Gaara thanked the kunoichi as she handed him the note, then followed her out of his office to receive the phone call. By the time Kankuro and his fellows had caught up, they were witness to seeing the phone tumble out of Gaara's hand; alarmed, Kankuro walked around to see what was wrong, only to see a look of absolute shock on Gaara's face, which slowly devolved into a look of sadness and heartbreak. Gaara then started crying; the only thing he remembered was that Kankuro went to take the phone from the mousey kunoichi, who had picked it up as soon as Gaara had dropped it.

That was close to a month ago, and after the mass service that was held in the memory of all who were killed in the Konoha Car Crisis, a private ceremony was held in Suna for Temari, whose remains were brought back to her homeland. Only Suna natives attended the service for Temari, with the exception of Naruto and Hinata Uzumaki of Konoha; Naruto was Gaara's closest friend, so naturally he'd want him to be there. Hinata was invited by virtue of the fact that she's married to Naruto.

Even though he had lost one of his two siblings, Gaara _was_ able to smile on a few occasions since the service for Temari; the Land of Soda, a small yet wealthy and relatively new nation, had recently made an alliance with the Land of Fire. Also, Gaara's friend Naruto had recently been sworn in as the sixth Hokage after Tsunade, the fifth Hokage, had to step down due to severe back problems.

" _I bet that you would have loved to have seen everything that_ ' _s been going on as of late_ ," Gaara thought somberly as he looked at the picture frame in his hands, " _Wouldn_ ' _t you_ , _Temari_?"

Right at that moment, Gaara was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a large explosion coming from outside of the Kazekage office building. Setting the picture frame in his hands down on his desk, Gaara ran out of his office, only to bump into the same mousey Suna kunoichi secretary who had brought Gaara that fateful note about the phone call.

"Lord Gaara!" the kunoichi exclaimed in an alarmed and worried tone, "There was a huge explosion outside of the office building just now! I think that Suna is under attack!"

Nodding in agreement with the kunoichi, Gaara said, "Get ahold of Kankuro and get him here right away."

"Lord Gaara?" the mousey kunoichi replied in a confused tone that still resonated with plenty of worry over the village potentially being under attack.

"If Suna really is under attack, then I want to get as many people to safety as possible," Gaara explained, "And Kankuro is at the top of that list."

"But your older brother is one of Suna's most capable ninja," the kunoichi began to argue, "Surely he can be useful in repelling the-"

"I had to lay my older sister to rest last month," Gaara interrupted, "I don't want to have to lay my older brother to rest _this_ month!"

Understanding what her lord was getting at, the mousey kunoichi secretary nodded in agreement before running out to go track down Kankuro. Meanwhile, Gaara ran out to rally as many Suna shinobi as possible to try and repel the assault that was hitting their village. " _You better not get killed_ , _Kankuro_ ," Gaara though worriedly as he hurried as fast as he could.

* * *

Back at the Suna bar that Kankuro was at, he was dancing drunkenly on top of the pool table from before; the other bar patrons, their good cheer fueled by good drink, were singing along with the brother of the Kazekage. It was a traditional drinking song, one that had been passed down in the families of Sunagakure since the village was first founded. (1) However, the good cheer would not last because-

*BOOM*

Kankuro and the other bar patrons were startled when they heard the explosion; it was so startling that it did a good enough job at sobering Kankuro up. Jumping down off of the pool table that he was dancing on, Kankuro ran out of the bar to see what was going on. When he was greeted by the sight of multiple buildings emitting smoke as explosions struck all throughout the village, Kankuro swore under his breath, "Oh for cry'en out loud!"

Jumping up and landing on the roof of a two-story building, Kankuro ran along the rooftops as he made his way to the Kazekage office building; surely his little brother Gaara would be able to tell Kankuro what the hell was going on. Kankuro leapt over the spaces between buildings as he went from rooftop to rooftop, but on one jump the puppet master underestimated the distance; as such, he fell face first down to the ground.

Luckily, Kankuro landed with a 'flump' in a large cart full of hay. Getting out of the hay cart, Kankuro picked straws of hay off of himself as he remarked aloud, "They should make a game where you can survive drops from great heights by landing in carts full of hay." Having cleaned himself off fully, Kankuro proceeded to run the rest of the way to the Kazekage office building on the ground.

Upon arriving at the Kazekage office building, Kankuro bumped into the mousey Suna kunoichi who worked as a secretary. Kankuro was pretty sure that this kunoichi had a crush on Gaara, but that was another issue for another time. "Yo, where's Gaara?" Kankuro said to the kunoichi.

"Lord Gaara went to rally as many Suna shinobi as possible," the kunoichi explained, "He asked me to try and get as many Suna citizens to safety as possible, starting with you, Sir Kankuro."

"What?!" Kankuro remarked in an annoyed tone, "Dude, I can totally help with repelling whoever is attacking Suna! Gaara is-"

"-Worried about losing you the way you two lost your sister," the kunoichi interrupted. Seeing that Kankuro didn't want to argue the point, the Kunoichi said, "Please respect your brother's wishes on this matter, Sir Kankuro. You _are_ the only family he has left, so of course he'd be worried about making sure you're safe."

Shaking his head, Kankuro said, "I still don't like just sitting around like I'm helpless. At least let me lend a hand is getting people to safety."

After a bit of thought, the kunoichi relented and said, "I suppose there'd be no harm if you steer clear from the areas being attacked. If you'll be so kind as to follow me, Sir Kankuro."

"Right," the puppet master replied with a nod as he proceeded to follow the mousey kunoichi to assist her with getting others to safety.

* * *

Gaara lowered two mounds of sand that he was controlling. Inside each mound was a ninja from Kumogakure that Gaara had crushed to death; with the way that the sand was lowered, you couldn't see the remains of the deceased within. But the looks on the faces of two other Kumo ninja who were about ten feet from Gaara made it clear what had just gone down. As Gaara turned to face the two remaining Kumo, they both turned tail and fled, although Gaara did throw Sand Shurikens at them as they fled; Gaara even struck one of them, albeit it just grazed their right shoulder.

Two Suna shinobi landed on the rooftop next to Gaara, both of which were male jonin. "Lord Gaara!" the first Suna jonin said, "Ninja from Kumogakure are attacking Suna!" Gesturing to his fellow Suna jonin, the first one said, "Hoshi and I just came from some fighting in the village! We need backup!"

"No need to tell me," Gaara replied to the two Suna jonin as he turned to regard the two sand mounds, "I just killed two Kumo shinobi and another two fled as I turned to deal with them."

"Lord Gaara," the Suna jonin named Hoshi said in a worried tone, "This assault from Kumo has already reached the point of rivaling the time that we and Oto assaulted Konoha a few years back! What are we going to do?!"

"We do to the Kumo ninja what Konoha did to us and Oto a few years back," Gaara replied, "We kick them out of our village by any means necessary." As the two Suna jonin nodded in agreement with the Kazekage, two more Suna shinobi landed on the roof next to them.

"Lord Gaara!" said one of the two Suna shinobi who just showed up, "There's a number of Kumo ninja in the center of the village! We need reinforcements!"

"You two," Gaara said to the first two Suna shinobi, "Gather as many of our fellows as you can find and head for the village center." Turning to face the others, Gaara said, "Let's head over. There's no use lollygagging around while we're being attacked by ninja from a hostile village."

The two Suna shinobi nodded as they led Gaara to the fighting in the center of the village; as the Kazekage, Gaara would do what it takes to protect his village, no matter what.

* * *

Over in Konohagakure, Naruto Uzumaki stood in the Hokage's office in the Hokage office building. Looking around the room, Naruto's eyes fell on one of the walls upon which pictures of all of Konoha's Hokage hung. There were six in total now; Naruto's own portrait hung on the end of the line, signifying him as the sixth (and current) Hokage.

Seeing himself among the other Hokage, Naruto could not help but feel humbled. He closed his eyes, smiled. " _It looks like I finally made it_ ," Naruto thought, " _I finally achieved my dream_."

Naruto was not the only one who was happy with this; in his office (2) with him was Hinata Uzumaki, his wife. Unlike Naruto, who was managing to keep himself calm, Hinata was very excited. After all, her husband is the Hokage.

"You're the Hokage now, Naruto!" Hinata exclaimed excitedly, "This is your office!"

"Y-yes, it is my office now, dear," Naruto replied, mildly taken by surprise by his wife's enthusiasm; he knew that Hinata would be excited over him being Hokage now, but Naruto had realized that he had underestimated his wife's excitement.

Running over to the big desk in the room, Hinata started swiping her hands all over the desk's surface. "This is your desk!" Hinata exclaimed.

"That is my desk," Naruto replied, realizing that his wife was now momentarily lost.

Sitting in the desk chair behind Naruto's desk, Hinata started spinning around in it as she called out, "This is your chair!"

"Yes, that is my chair," Naruto replied, and adding, " _Not a ride_ ," in his mind.

Getting out of the chair, Hinata ran over to the two-seater sofa against the one wall and laid on it. "This is your sofa!" Hinata exclaimed, "And it's loads more comfortable than the one at home! Let's swap them!" (3)

Sighing, Naruto replied in a mildly embarrassed tone, "We…don't really have a sofa at our place to swap with this one. Just two armchairs."

As Hinata got up off of the sofa, there was a knock at Naruto's office door. "Oh, come in," Naruto called out loud enough to be heard on the other side of the door. When the door opened, Naruto and Hinata were greeted by the sight of Sasuke Uchiha, Shikamaru Nara and Shino Aburame walking into the office; these three men, who were close friends of Naruto's, were hand-picked by Naruto himself to serve as his advisors.

"Since it's your first official day as Hokage, the boys here and I figured that we should get to work as well," Shikamaru greeted with a casual smile.

Nodding, Naruto said, "I'm glad to have the three of you aboard. I'm looking forward to working with you guys."

"Hmm?" Sasuke said when he spotted Hinata, "Oh, you're Naruto's wife, right?" With a knowing grin, Sasuke continued, "Wanting to visit your husband at the office during his first day on the job, huh?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Hinata replied with a nod, "I'm already thinking of ways to brag about how Naruto's in charge of the village now."

"Heh," Naruto laughed in a mildly embarrassed tone, "There's no need to go that far on my account, dear."

"Naruto's got a point, Mrs. Uzumaki," Sasuke agreed, "He wasn't made Hokage just so he could brag about it."

"…Did you just refer to her as 'Mrs. Uzumaki'?" Naruto asked Sasuke, a mildly confused look on his face.

"…I'm sorry, but I'm completely blanking on her name right now," Sasuke admitted in a flustered manner, "She's not all that good at leaving an impression."

Looking mildly annoyed, Hinata walked up to Sasuke, a marker in her right hand.

…

Sakura Haruno and Ino Yamanaka, friends of Naruto and the others, were running up the stairs in the Hokage office building to get to the floor where Naruto's office was located. Other than the fact that Ino was wearing a men's t-shirt that had a slight food stain in the middle of the stomach, both women were wearing outfits that those who knew them would expect the two chunnin to wear respectively. But attire aside, both Sakura and Ino wore looks of alarm and worry on their respective faces.

"Of all the things to happen during Naruto's first day as Hokage," Sakura began, "We have to tell him what just happened in Suna!"

"I know!" Ino agreed, "Not to mention the fact that both Shikamaru and Sasuke are bound to be with Naruto as well. Imagine the looks on their faces!"

When the two girls got to the doorway leading into Naruto's office, Sakura and Ino both saw that it was already open. Running inside, Sakura and Ino both began to call out for Naruto, but they stopped short when their eyes fell upon the scene before them; Sasuke, Shikamaru and Shino all had their backs to the girls, as they were facing Naruto and Hinata. From the looks of things, Hinata was doing something to Sasuke's face.

"Hey, everyone!" Sakura called out, getting everyone to turn around to face her and Ino; when everyone faced the girls, Sakura and Ino were both confused when they saw Hinata's name scrawled across Sasuke's face.

"…Sasuke, why is Hinata's name written across your face?" Sakura asked.

"He keeps forgetting what my name is," Hinata said in a mildly huffy tone, "So I'm making sure that he never forgets it again."

"And…you let her do this?" Sakura asked in a confused tone when she turned her attention to Naruto.

Shrugging, Naruto replied, "Well hey, given how much she's lived her life not being able to or allowed to vent, I want Hinata to have every opportunity to do so."

"And this isn't even the worst part," Sasuke said as he pointed to his face. Grabbing the hem of the shirt he was wearing, Sasuke lifted it up, revealing Hinata's name scrawled across his stomach as well. "She says that my butt is next if I ever forget her name again," Sasuke added as he let his shirt fall back down.

"Uhh, Ino," Shikamaru began, "Why are you wearing one of my shirts?"

"Because I grabbed the first shirt I found and threw it on when Sakura came by to inform me what had happened," Ino replied. (4)

Arching an eyebrow in curiosity, Naruto said, "What do you mean 'what had happened'?"

* * *

Later, Naruto, with his advisors at his side, had called a meeting of as many of Konoha's available jonin as possible. As Naruto and his advisors set up, the jonin that had been gathered were talking nervously amongst themselves.

"Why would Lord Sixth call a meeting like this on his first day on the job?" Choza Akimichi whispered to Shikaku Nara and Choji, the latter being Choza's son.

"Can't be because he wanted to test out some of the authority he has as Hokage," Choji replied to his father in a whisper, "Lady Tsunade did that on her first day as Hokage, and it really annoyed some of the jonin who were called to that meeting, if what I remember you telling me is correct, pa."

"I have to agree with your son, Choza," Shikaku whispered, "Lord Sixth may be young, but he's long since ceased doing anything stupid. Something's wrong."

"And on his first day as Hokage, no less," Choji whispered in a worried tone, looking down at his feet.

"Hey, dudes," Inoichi Yamanaka's voice whispered, getting Choza, Shikaku and Choji to turn as see Inoichi standing there with Harold Fisher, Tsume Inuzuka and Tsume's ninja dog Kuromaru. "You guys know what the hell's going on?" Inoichi asked.

"Lord Sixth called this meeting of all of Konoha's available jonin, but we don't know the reason," Shikaku replied, "I'm guessing that he'll tell everyone when the meeting starts."

"Attention everyone!" Shino called out, getting all faces to turn to face forward, "We're going to be starting now!" Turning to his right to speak to Naruto, Shino said, "You're up."

"Thank you," Naruto replied as Shino nodded in response. Turning to face the gathered jonin, Naruto said, "I had just received word that, earlier today, a large force of Kumogakure ninja had attacked our ally Sunagakure. Although we don't yet have an exact idea of how many losses Suna had suffered, we heard that at least one-hundred Suna shinobi were killed, with the number of slain Suna citizens being roughly nine times that much."

As the gathered jonin all began to exclaim in alarm, Naruto had to hush them down. "Not only had Kumo attacked Suna, but after I contacted Suna's Kazekage, Gaara, to ask for more about what had happened, Gaara informed me that Kumo has declared war on Suna."

"Kumo declared war on Suna?!" Shikaku exclaimed in shock, "Are you kidding me?!"

"As Konoha is Suna's ally, we will be backing them in their efforts against Kumo," Naruto informed the gathered jonin. Sighing in a resigned tone, Naruto continued, "As much as it pains me to say this to everyone here, the _Fifth_ Great Ninja War has just started." (5)

As the gathered jonin started to exclaim in alarm again, Naruto hushed them down once again. "As you all are some of Konoha's best shinobi, I would like to hear from you any ideas on how to deal with the threat Kumo is posing." Many hands all went up all at once. Looking over the crowd of raised hands, Naruto saw that he had to add a few points.

" _Besides_ assembling the Avengers." Inoichi's hand went down.

"Or Sonic the Hedgehog and his freedom fighters." Harold's hand went down.

"Please keep in mind that the Kumo ninja are humans, not cats." Tsume's hand went down.

Seeing that all of the humans he was associated with had lowered their raised hands, Kuromaru exclaimed in an annoyed tone, "Oh, come on!"

* * *

Later over in Naruto's office over at the Hokage office building, Naruto had just gotten off of the phone with someone. Turning around, Naruto faced Sasuke, Shikamaru and Shino as he said, "That was the Land of Fire's daimyo. He and the Land of Wind's daimyo agreed with me and Gaara's decision to go to war with the Land of Lightning."

"So, war it is, ehh?" Sasuke remarked in a somber tone, "This was not how I imagined your tenure as Hokage to start, Naruto."

"And it's a great ninja war, to boot," Shikamaru added, "The last one we had barely ended two years back. The hell is Kumo thinking, declaring war on Suna?" As Naruto and the other guys shook their heads, Sakura and Hinata came running into Naruto's office.

"We just heard that you had to declare war on Kumo," Sakura said to Naruto, looking concerned.

Nodding in the affirmative, Naruto replied to the pink-haired chunnin, "Who would have me stand by and do nothing as Kumo attacks Suna?"

"This…" Hinata said in a worried tone as she shook her head, "…This cannot be happening." Sighing Naruto approached his wife, laying his right hand on her left shoulder in a comforting gesture. Looking up from the floor to look her husband in the face, Hinata said, "Please tell me you aren't planning on heading to the battlefield, Naruto. I would really hate it if I became a widow so soon after getting married."

Chuckling, Naruto replied, "Relax, dear. I'm not going to the battlefield anytime soon as far as I can tell. I have to stay here and run the village."

"But who will lead the troops from our village?" Sasuke asked, "I mean, you're the Hokage, so naturally you're a good a choice as any for leading Konoha troops."

"Heh, really," Naruto said to his advisor, "Me, a nineteen-year-old who had barely just been made Hokage. Thank you for the flattery, Sasuke, but there is no way I'd be any good at leading troops into war. I'd be much more useful fighting in the war than anything." With a chuckle, Naruto added, "And as you've just heard, I was asked not to participate in the fighting."

"Yeah," Sasuke replied as he sneaked a quick look at the palm of his left hand, "…Hen-ah-ta doesn't want to risk you getting killed, even though that's next to impossible."

"Hey Sasuke," Shino began, "Why did you look at your left hand's palm before saying Hinata's name just now?"

Rushing forward, Hinata grabbed Sasuke by his left wrist, then pulled his left arm up as Sasuke clenched his left hand closed into a fist. "Let me see your hand, Sasuke!" Hinata demanded.

"No!" Sasuke exclaimed, "Help me, Naruto! Your wife's attacking me!"

…

Ino, with Shino's girlfriend Sylvan Ashveil accompanying her, ran up the stairs in the Hokage office building. "I swear that Shikamaru better not intend to go to the battlefield when the war starts, or I'll head over where the fighting's going on, drag Shikamaru back to Konoha, and kill him here myself!" Ino swore angrily, "My last boyfriend was killed unnecessarily, so I don't want the same to happen to the one I have now!"

"You worry too much, Ino," replied Sylvan, "There's no way that someone of Shikamaru's position would be risked."

"Trust me, girl," Ino said as they reached the open doorway leading into Naruto's office, "Shikamaru is not one…to…"

Ino stopped short when both she and Sylvan saw what was happening before them; Sasuke's pants were down and Hinata looked like she was writing something across Sasuke's butt, but Hinata's head blocked the view (Sasuke was facing away from where Ino and Sylvan stood). "You seriously had to write my name down on your hand in order to remember it?!" Hinata exclaimed at the last Uchiha in an annoyed tone, "And you didn't even spell it right!" (6)

Looking at the scene, Ino noticed that Shikamaru, with a mischievous grin on his face, was using the Shadow Possession technique to keep Sasuke from being able to move. "Shikamaru, what the hell's going on?" Ino asked, getting the attention of everyone in the room.

Turning his head to see Ino (which made Sasuke turn his head as well due to Shadow Possession), Shikamaru spotted Ino and said, "Oh, 'sup, Ino. Yeah, as it turns out, Sasuke can't remember Hinata's name to save his life. So, Hinata's doing this in retaliation."

"And you're helping her?" Ino asked, giving Shikamaru an incredulous look.

Giving his girlfriend a smirk, Shikamaru replied, "The most Naruto ever did when he wrote on someone back when we were all kids was scribble little doodles on their faces as they slept. I'd certainly say that Naruto's wife has him beat in that department."

"Before this," Shino said to the Yamanaka chunnin as he pointed to what Hinata was doing to Sasuke, "Hinata scrawled her name across Sasuke's stomach, followed by doing the same across his face." Ino could not help but face-palm as what was going on.

"And to think," Ino whispered to Sylvan as the Yamanaka chunnin gestured to the display that was happening before them, "THIS is the leadership that Konoha has as it is gearing up for the Fifth Great Ninja War."

"It could be worse," Sylvan whispered back, "Mr. Fisher could be the Hokage." (7)

THE END

Author's Notes:

(1) One of several such songs, actually.

(2) Naruto could not help but smile to himself when he referred to the Hokage's office as his.

(3) And thus, history repeats itself.

(4) Ino was picked up from Shikamaru's place (she was found lying fast asleep on Shikamaru's bed in his room).

(5) That was Naruto's first act as Hokage (in this setting); declare war on Kumo.

(6) Sasuke spelled it H-e-n-a-h-t-a.

(7) No way in hell will I ever do a story like that.

Sorry if this chapter was a tad short compared to the others, but…yeah, this is the end of 'Guess who's back?'. …Wow, I actually finished a story. What were the odds?


End file.
